Total Shuffled Island
by Fangren
Summary: Total Drama Island, where it all began. That camp, those challenges, those first twenty-two campers to take on what would become a hit series. But what if those campers - and those who debuted in later seasons - were to be re-ordered, appearances shifted through time and space? What if they were to be...shuffled? Season One AU; pairing and update info at end of first chapter.
1. Chapter 1 - Not So Happy Campers, Part 1

**Author's Not****e**

Welcome to the first chapter of Total Drama Shuffled! For those who haven't read the Author's Note at the end of Chapter 6 of my other fanfic, Total Drama Rebirth, I'll go over the origins and premise of this fanfic again - and in greater detail.

Basically, this is an experiment of sorts. It's an AU of the first season written in a different style than I'm used to, being less a behind-the-scenes look and more of the sort of 'this is an episode of a t.v. series' style used in other fics. I originally came up with the idea way back when all we knew about the Pahkitew Island contestants were their names and silhouettes (and possibly the first few bits of storyboard, I'm unsure of when those were leaked), but due to the nature of the fic was unable to begin work until Pahkitew Island was over.

I, and probably you readers, have come across Total Drama fanfics that feature all of the contestants (at least all that existed when the fic was begun), or new/redone seasons with some subset of the cast who are typically all aware of each other as past contestants or something like that. 'Total Shuffled Island' has some similarities with such fics, but I've done what I hope is unique - restarted at the beginning, and randomized the contestants.

In short, I put every canon Total Drama contestant (Blaineley was excluded for what I hope should be obvious reasons) into a pool and randomly assigned them to TDI, TDWT, TDROTI, or TDPI, keeping the total contestant count and gender balance of each the same as the canon seasons. Thus, twenty-two became the season one contestants for this AU, two more will join the cast for 'Total Shuffled World Tour' or whatever I end up calling it, thirteen will make up the new 'second generation' campers, and the last fourteen were shunted to Pahkitew.

The result has been an interesting, if in some ways unbalanced, group of contestants. I have, of course, already assigned each camper a new season to debut in, and have more-or-less decided who will compete in Action, World Tour, and All-Stars.

Due to spoilers, I will refrain from mentioning potential pairings until the end of the chapter. Please note that I am intentionally mirroring the style and progression of events that were in the canon season, at least in the beginning - I want to create a sense of...diverging parallels, I suppose, between this universe and canon.

My apologies for the lengthy introduction, and if this story doesn't suit your tastes. To the rest, please enjoy!

- Fangren

* * *

**Episode 1 – Not So Happy Campers, Part 1**

The scene faded in to a lovely day on a picturesque body of water; in the background were rolling, pine-covered hills and scattered clouds. There were cliffs on the shore of several hills, serving as evidence of the action of wind, wave, and ice for the past several thousand years. In the foreground was a wooden dock, worn with use and a telltale sign of habitation.

A man popped onto camera from below. He was a handsome man, in his late twenties or early thirties, with well-styled hair and just the right amount of stubble. He dressed in a casual style suitable for the outdoors, but it was obvious that his clothes were of the highest quality nonetheless.

"Yo!" The man greeted. "We're comin' at you _live_ from Camp Wawanakwa, somewhere in Muskoka, Ontario!" He spoke with great enthusiasm and an appropriate level of gesticulation, and for good reason. "I'm your host, _Chris McLean_, dropping season one of the hottest new reality show on television, right now!"

A drumline began the background music as the camera switched to a shot of Chris McLean walking down the dock, continuing his explanation of the show. "Here's the deal: twenty-two campers have signed up to spend eight weeks right here at this crummy old summer camp." He reached the end of the dock, stopping next to a sign with the camp's name on it, and appeared to be quite happy with the apparently low quality of Camp Wawanakwa. "They'll compete in challenges against each other, _then_ have to face the judgment of their fellow campers."

The music shifted into something more subdued, suitable for underscoring drama. "Every three days, one team will either win a reward, or watch one of their team members walk down the 'Dock of Shame', take a ride on the 'Loser Boat'," Chris chuckled for a second as a signboard showing a picture of the boat dropped down on ropes, "and _leave_ 'Total Drama Island' for good." The signboard was quickly raised, and Chris mimed a golf swing as the camera switched to a different part of the camp.

The new scene was of a clearing surrounded by large rocks. In the center was a fire pit, with a group of eleven stumps to serve as seating located towards the rocks. To the right was the entrance to the clearing, with a tall wooden entrance and an upright metal oil drum. There appeared to be a second entrance, a staircase carved into the stone in the foreground. "Their fate will be decided here," Chris popped back into view, pointing behind him with his thumb, "at the _dramatic_ Campfire Ceremonies," the camera zoomed in on the campfire, and zoomed out to show Chris approaching from the right, "where each week, all but one camper will receive...a marshmallow." The shot changed to a close-up of untoasted marshmallows on sticks, lying on top of the metal drum-turned-podium. Chris picked one up and ate it. "In the end, only one will be left standing, and will be rewarded," he produced a number of magazines (all the same issue with his own face on the cover), "with cheesy tabloid fame. _And_!" Chris dropped the magazines off-camera, and held up a prop treasure chest filled with gold coins and other miscellaneous valuables. "A small fortune which, let's face it, they'll probably blow in a week!"

The music picked up again. "To survive, they'll have to battle black flies," the shot switched to a swarm of insects being swiped at by a bear, "grizzly bears," the same bear, now roaring menacingly at the camera, "_disgusting_ camp food," a bowl of what appeared to be some sort of insect larvae, "_and_, each other." A close-up of Chris McLean, the smiling host once again at the edge of the dock.

The camera faded to more shots of camp, beginning with a picture of a bird feeding its hatchlings; in the nest was an obvious camera, pointed at the parent bird. "Every moment _will_ be caught on one of the hundreds of cameras," an out-of-place totem pole with another camera duct-taped haphazardly to the top, "situated _all_ over the camp." The scene changed back to Chris at the dock. "_Who_ will crumble under the pressure? Find out _here_," he double-pointed at the camera, "right now, on," the point-of-view changed to a spot further back, and did so again to punctuate each of the host's last three word. "Total! Drama! Island!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

_Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

_You guys are on my mind!_

_Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

_And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

_I wanna be...famous!_

_I wanna live close to the sun!_

_Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

_Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

_I'll get there one day._

_'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

_(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

"Welcome back to 'Total Drama Island'!" Chris said as the camera faded back to him standing at the dock. "Alright! It's time to meet our _first_ eleven campers." The shot changed to a closer view of Chris. "We told them they'd all be staying at this five-star resort, _so_, if they seem a little TO'd, that's probably why."

A boat was shown at the end of the dock briefly, before it sped off and revealed the first camper. It was a white girl; short, slightly pudgy, and not an ounce of coolness between her side ponytail and braces. "Beth! What's up!" Chris called from off-screen as the girl ran to him, arms outstretched, leaving her lone piece of luggage where she'd first set it down.

"It's _so_ incredulous to meet you!" Beth lisped as she hugged the host. She dropped after a second, and didn't notice the man brush off his shirt. "Wow, you're much _shorter_ in real life." 'The Wannabe' waved at the camera, blissfully unaware of her faux pas.

"Uhh..._thanks_." Chris said. The scene cut to the next camper's arrival. This time, the departing boat revealed a tall, muscular young black man. "DJ!" Chris greeted as the skullcap-wearing teen carried his two duffel bags up the dock.

"Yo, Chris McLean!" DJ shared a high-five with the host. "How's it goin'? Hey you sure you got the right place here?" he asked, looking around the camp uncertainly. "Where's the hot tub at?"

"Yo dawg, this is it, Camp Wawanakwa!" It was hard to tell if DJ was more annoyed by the camp or by Chris' attitude and mannerisms.

"Hmm. Looked a lot different on the application form..." 'The Brickhouse With Heart' mumbled as he carried his luggage up to where Beth was already standing. The scene cut to the next arrival.

"Hey, Dakota!" Chris called to a tall, blonde, white girl dressed almost entirely in pink.

"Dakota here," she told the camera, lifting up her sunglasses as she walked towards the host and other campers. "And I'm here to...win...?" She was distracted from her lines when she noticed the non-luxury campgrounds. "Uhh, excuse me? Chris? You _can't_ be expecting us to stay _here_, right? I mean, I've _been_ to five-star resorts, and, like, this isn't even worth _one_ star."

"Technically," Chris countered, "_you'll_ be staying here. _My_ crib is an Airstream with AC." He gestured behind him with his thumb. "And if you'd read your _contract_, you'd know that we didn't say _anything_ about a resort, five-star or otherwise."

"Hrrm," Dakota pouted, whipping out a cellphone. "I'm gonna tell _Daddy_ about this..."

"_No_," Chris countered again, quickly snatching away the girl's phone. "you won't. No outside communication until the end of the season, so I'll be _confiscating_ this."

'The Fame-Monger' could only manage a shocked "What?! No fair!" before being forced to stand with DJ and Beth.

The fourth camper could be seen hanging out the top of the boat, dancing to music. Dressed in a cowboy hat and an unbuttoned pink shirt, the white boy seemed to be having quite a good time. When the boat stopped, he jumped off and landed flawlessly, his suitcase being thrown after him. He gave a thumbs up to the boat, then turned to the host. "Chris McLean! 'Sup, man! It's an honor to meet you, man!" He fist-bumped with the host.

"The Geoff-ster!" Chris greeted back. "Welcome to the island, man!"

"Thanks, man!" Geoff replied. 'The Funnest Guy Around' high-fived the host, and went to join the others.

"Hey, you don't have a _cellphone_, do you?" Dakota asked, sidling up to the party boy and batting her eyelashes.

"Uhh, no, sorry, guess I forgot to bring one." Geoff told the pouting girl, scratching his head and looking genuinely sorry he couldn't help.

"Hey everyone!" Chris called, putting the attention of both the campers and the camera back on him as he announced the next competitor. "It's Sierra!"

The tall, brown-skinned girl that stepped off the boat paused at the end of the dock, leering at the host. She looked like she was about to hyperventilate for a few moments before she suddenly charged, magenta-dyed braid trailing behind her.

"Oh. Em. GEE!" Sierra squealed, tackle-hugging the host. "You're _the_ Chris McLean! This is the greatest day of my _life_!" As she quickly spoke, the music shifted to something more hectic to underline the extreme disease on Chris' face. "I'm like your _biggest_ fan! I've watched _all _your movies, own _all_ your albums, and I'm even the President of the 'Chris McLean Junior Fan Club'!"

"Uhh, _great_." Chris said, trying to push the girl off of him. "Can you, ya know, get _off_ me please?"

"Oh, yeah, huhuhuh." 'The Obsessive Uber-Fan' nodded, giggling as she let go of the host. She quickly grabbed her bags and joined the other campers, giggling and leering the entire time. The other four teens gave her a wide berth.

The sixth camper arrived without an announcement from the host. A tall and handsome young latino man, he looked out over his shades and flashed a smile. "Alejandro!" Chris greeted as the contestant approached. "Good to have you!"

"Not as good as it is to _be_ here, I assure you." Alejandro answered, bumping fists with the host and continuing on to the already-arrived campers. "Greetings, amigos! I greatly look forward to getting to know you all." 'The Arch Villain' high-fived Geoff and DJ, and took his place among the group. Beth, Dakota, and even Sierra were still swooning from his smile.

The background music turned harsh as the next contestant arrived, standing at the bow of the ship and scowling. She was a rather masculine white girl dressed in sweats, who tossed down her luggage first and herself second. "Welcome to the island, Jo!" Chris told the scowling young woman.

Jo snorted. "This place is more of a _dump_ than I expected, but it's not like it'll slow me down."

"Yeah, I thought as much." Chris replied with a grin. "Don't worry though, we'll make sure to make things _challenging_ for you."

Jo rolled her eyes, and focused on her competition. Alejandro had already stepped forward to greet her, but 'The Take-No-Prisoners Jock-ette' was having none of it. "Just stay out of my _way_ if you value your kiwis, _got it_?" She kept her bag close, and said nothing else.

The sound of the ship's horn told those at the dock that the next camper would be arriving in an unusual manner. Trailing behind the vehicle on water skis was a tall young black man in a jersey. "May I present, Lightning!" Chris announced as the athlete was towed closer to the dock.

In one fluid move, Lightning jumped from water to wood, and struck a pose. "Sha-YEAH!" he crowed, kissing his biceps and catching a duffel bag tossed from the ship. "Now that _this_ piece of gorgeous is here, the rest of you might as well just go home now!" Both Jo and Alejandro narrowed their eyes at 'The Athletic Overachiever', who didn't appear to notice.

The ship came and went, dropping off the next camper. Another white girl, with a personal style similar to a stereotypical librarian. Her orange hair had been secured into a large bun, and skeptical eyes observed every facet of the camp from behind a pair of glasses. "Welcome to camp, Scarlett!" the host said, frowning just a bit when the young woman before him didn't immediately meet his eye.

"Thank you." Scarlett began after a moment, still looking somewhat hesitant about her surroundings. "Am I to assume that the filming location implied during the application process was deliberately misleading? Because while I'm not familiar with the criteria used for rating, these facilities don't appear to be of a particularly high quality, and thus do not fit my preconceived notions of a 'five-star resort'."

"Pretty much!" Chris grinned.

"I see..." Scarlett said, taking another scrutinizing look at both the island and the campers. "It's still within the parameters I predicted for this competition, so I shouldn't have any problems adapting to this environment."

"Uh...right..." Chris said, giving 'The Brainiac' an odd look as she walked away. The next camper arrived, and he quickly went back to hosting. "Contestant #9 is Topher!"

"Umm, actually, unless you deliberately didn't count someone, he's the _tenth_ contestant to arrive, not the _ninth_!" Scarlett called from her spot with the other teens.

"Right." Chris deadpanned. "_Thanks_, Scarlett. Now as I was saying, _this_ is Topher!" He motioned to the white boy looking at him in a way similar to Sierra. The attractive young man's style of dress was quite like that of the host's, if only in color scheme.

"I gotta say, it's an _honor_ to meet you Chris!" Topher said, extending a hand and causing the host to ease up a little. "You're a personal idol of mine, and I've _always_ wanted to watch you work live. You totally _aced_ that figure skating show by the way."

"Thanks man, I _knew_ I rocked that!" Chris, ego boosted, gladly accepted the handshake. "Good to see the producers picked such an intelligent young man for the competition."

"I _saw_ that!" Beth whispered to the other campers. "One of the guys dropped his _partner_ on her _head_! Though they got immunity that week."

"Pfft, how _bad_ were the other contestants if the _clumsy_ guy actually _won_?" Jo scoffed.

"Hey, nice camp by the way!" Topher said, looking around a bit. "I bet you're just gonna put us through the _wringer_, am I right?"

"Oh, you know it!" Chris smiled, finally sending 'The Junior Chris' on his way. He got to the end of the dock, and immediately locked eyes with a glaring Sierra.

The next camper to arrive, standing on the bow of the boat with a surfboard in hand, was a casually-dressed white girl, blonde hair pulled back into a long ponytail. "Hey! What's up!? She asked as she approached the host, leaning against her board once she came to a stop.

"Alright!" Chris answered, beginning his introduction of the young woman. "Our _surfer_ chick, Bridgette, is here!"

"Hey, nice board!" Jo taunted. "Where do you think we _are_, Malibu?"

"I thought we were gonna be on a beach!" Bridgette defended.

"We are!" Chris said as the camera cut to a shot of a seagull on one of the camp's garbage-infested beaches.

Bridgette sighed. "_Great_."

"Alright! That makes-" Chris started to say before he was hit on the head by Bridgette's surfboard as she bent over to grab her bag. "_Oww_! Darn it, that _hurt_!" he groaned, rubbing his head as 'The Surfer Girl' walked on obliviously.

"Hey guys." she said once she'd reached the other campers.

"Hey!" answered one young man in particular, purposely separating himself from the rest of the group. "I'm Geoff!"

"What's up?" Bridgette said, turning around and nearly knocking over several campers with her surfboard.

"Jeez, watch the _face_!" Topher said, having just ducked in time.

"Hi, I'm Beth!" the shorter young woman greeted with a smile and a wave.

Bridgette answered with a "Hey!" and another round of near-misses with her board.

"Hello!" Alejandro said quickly, stepping close enough to make the surfer blush. "You may want to stand your board up before you accidentally hurt anybody with it. It would be a shame if anything were to happen to it – or _you_ – would it not?"

"Oh..." Bridgette's blush deepened as she looked into the handsome young man's eyes. "Yeah. Sorry about that, guys!" She caught herself before she turned around again.

Another person was dropped off – a short, pudgy white girl with a ribbon in her hair. "Our..." Chris rubbed his head, still recovering from his knock, "next camper is Staci!"

"Oh, wow!" She said, looking around the camp with wide eyes. "This is just like the summer camps my Great-Aunt Mable used to run, yah. She was named 'Best Camp Counselor' in the province seventeen years in a row."

"_Sure_..." Chris told her with an eyebrow raised high.

"And then there was my Great-Great-Great-Great-Uncle Milton," Staci continued as she walked by, "who created the first summer camp. Before him, the only thing kids had to do during the summer was throw _rocks_ at each other, yah."

"Umm...I may not be an expert on the history of seasonal youth activities," Scarlett objected, "but I'm certain her statements are incorrect." She looked to the other campers to back her up, but they just gave her indifferent shrugs. Regardless, 'The Compulsive Liar' hadn't noticed Scarlett's comment.

The next camper's arrival was heralded by the sound of his beatboxing. Standing on board the ship was a young black man with a large belly and an even larger amount of hair. His pants were held up by suspenders, and his shirt was slightly dirty.

"Yo, Beardo!" Chris said as the teen stepped off the boat.

As Beardo walked up the dock, he imitated the sound of a trumpet fanfare. "Yo!" he said back, giving the host a high five before continuing his own music. 'The Human Soundboard' ended the fanfare once he reached the other campers. He gave them a shy sort of smile and wave, but didn't receive any immediate reply. He lost his smile and started to walk to the side, imitating a chirping cricket as he went.

"Wow, you're really _good_ at that!" an amazed Beth told him.

"Yeah man, you should totally, like, do that at parties!" Geoff added.

Beardo smiled again. "Thanks."

The boat came and went, this time dropping off two contestants – a pair of near-identical white girls in cheerleader uniforms. The one who had stepped off the boat first had a small beauty mark on her right cheek and a scowl on her face; the second twin looked rather dejected and seemed to be carrying both of their luggage.

"Ladies!" Chris greeted as he approached the pair. "Amy, Samey! Welcome to your new home for eight weeks!"

"Uhhh, it's _Sammy_!" The luggage-toting twin corrected meekly.

"Amy says _everyone_ calls you Samey." The host countered. "What with you being the _second_ twin and all."

"Well, yes, but my _real_-" Sammy tried to explain, earning her both a glare from her sister and annoyance from the host.

"You're _officially_ Samey." Chris said, putting his metaphorical foot down.

"Try not to _embarrass me_ anymore than you already have, _Samey_." Amy hissed at her sister as she set off down the dock. "It's bad enough that I have to live in this _disgusting_ summer camp without _you_ making everything _worse_." Sammy sighed, and 'The Cheerleader Twins' joined the rest of the cast.

The next camper to be dropped off was a scruffy white boy who looked to be dressed for colder weather, between his jeans, hoodie sweatshirt, and toque.

"Ezekiel!" Chris said, having regained his pleasantness and extended a hand for a high five. "What's up, man?"

The scruffy boy looked up. "I think I see a bird?" A few of the other contestants chuckled at his obliviousness.

"You know, it was my Uncle Larry who first asked 'What's up?'" Staci said unsolicited. "Before him, people didn't have an easy way to ask each other how things were going in their lives, yah."

Chris put a hand on the boy's shoulder. "Look, dude. I know you don't get out much," he counseled. "Been homeschooled your whole life", Ezekiel nodded happily, "raised by freaky prairie people. Just don't say much, and try not to get kicked off too early. Okay?" He finally allowed Ezekiel to pass.

"Yes, sir!" 'The Home Schooled Guy' answered, walking awkwardly to join his fellow campers. He was met by a series of odd looks.

The young man who arrived next was easily the largest contestant in the group, if not in height then definitely in weight. The black teen wore a long trenchcoat over a hoodie and shorts, complemented by a backwards baseball cap and pierced ears.

"B!" Chris greeted. "The B-man! Silent B!" The two exchanged a few friendly points and a fist bump before 'The Strong Silent Genius' went on his way. True to his moniker he said nothing, merely giving the other campers a smirk, or a high five, or similar.

The boat lingered for longer than usual as the next contestant was apparently slow to get off. Like many others he'd been standing on the bow of the ship, and the large curly-haired white boy's attention seemed to be solely on the portable console between his hands. "Yeah!" he said in a gruff voice amidst the various sound effects of his game. "Finally got that super speed! Better get moving before it runs out..."

"Ahem?" Chris called from the end of the dock; he was acknowledged by the gamer. "Sam! You can come _down_ now!" The host's raised voice finally got the young man's attention.

"Oh, heheh, sorry about that." Sam said as he finally disembarked. "Good to be here though, it looks _great_!"

"Yeah, I'm sure it is." Chris said with a rekindled smile. "But I'm afraid I'm gonna have to confiscate that game thing you've got." The host snatched the device as swiftly as he'd taken Dakota's cellphone.

"Hey!" Sam protested. "I was just about to reach a save point!"

"Too bad." Chris replied, tucking the console into a pocket. "The rules clearly state that _no_ electronic gaming devices are allowed on the island."

"Aww man..." 'The Nice-Guy Gamer' groaned, slumping off with luggage in hand.

As Chris watched the dejected teen walk off, he completely missed the next arrival until she tapped on his shoulder. "Gah!" Chris started, whipping around to see who had surprised him. It was a pale and petite white girl, with long blonde hair and an odd look in her eyes. "Oh. Right. Dawn." Chris said, his introduction tinged with annoyance.

"Greetings!" Dawn replied with a small wave of her fingers. She began to edge around the host, keeping her distance for reasons known only to her. "You, uh, you _may_ want to schedule an appointment with a therapist. I can tell you have a _lot_ of unresolved childhood issues."

"_Excuse me_?" Chris said in barely-contained outrage. "Hey, I don't care _what_ you've heard, it isn't _true_, got it?" Dawn neither flinched nor changed her odd, piercing gaze. "Just...just go stand with the other campers, okay?" The host finally ordered.

'The Moonchild' gave most of the campers as wide a berth as she'd given the host, eventually taking a spot near B and Sam. She didn't seem to notice the odd looks several campers gave her.

"That aside," Chris said, getting back into his groove, "here comes Scott!" The young man in question was a redheaded white boy wearing a grungy tank top. He sneered as he jumped off the boat, and spit into the lake. He ignored Chris' look of disgust and walked right past him.

"Hmph." Scott snorted once he'd gotten a look at the other contestants. "None of you look too _tough_."

"You wanna say that _again_?" Jo said harshly, stepping up to the freckled young man and brandishing a fist.

"Whoa, chill out!" Geoff said quickly as he and DJ held the aggressive young woman back.

'The Devious' snorted again, and joined the crowd.

A country tune was played over the next competitor's arrival. She was a large white girl whose hair rivaled her hips in girth and as she walked up the docks she smiled and waved, first to the camera, then to the host. "This," Chris introduced, "is Sugar."

"Howdy y'all!" Sugar said in an accent hailing from the southern United States. "I sure am _excited_ to be on this here island! I just can't _wait_ to see what everyone here can do!"

"Glad to hear it Sugar!" Chris smiled as 'The Pageant Queen' took her place amongst the others. She shot Dakota a dirty look as soon as she noticed the pretty rich girl.

"And last but not least, Shawn!" The host announced the final camper, a shaggy-haired, vest-wearing white boy who looked unnecessarily on-edge. His eyes quickly darted about the area before he took a leap off the bow of the ship, doing a complete flip before landing in a crouch on the edge of the dock.

"Hey man, you seen any zombies around here lately?" he rolled forward and asked the host, still scanning the unfamiliar surroundings.

"...no?" Chris answered, taken just a bit off his guard by the teen's question.

"Hmm..." Shawn said, peering first off into the distance, and then into the depths of the lake. "Well, zombies can't swim, so we _should_ be safe here for now. I'm not gonna let my _guard_ down though. No _way_ am I gonna let _my_ brain get eaten!"

"Umm, _yeah_." Chris told 'The Zombie Conspiracy Nut', for lack of a better answer.

"Speakin' of eatin'," Sugar piped up, "when are we gonna have lunch?"

"First thing's first!" Chris explained, happy to get back on track. "We need a group photo for the promos. Everyone, on the _end_ of the dock!" He waved the twenty-two campers over before taking out a camera and jumping up to the bow of the ship.

The teens arranged themselves into three loose rows facing the camera. At the very center of the group was the largest camper, B. He was flanked on his right by a grinning Sugar, confident Scarlett, and a smirking Scott leaning on an annoyed Jo's shoulder. To B's left, towards the water, were a posing Topher, waving Staci, uneasy Dawn, and Shawn who seemed to have become somewhat comfortable.

The front row had Amy and Sammy kneeling in the middle, the older twin already looking like she wanted to leave while the younger twin actually smiled. To Sammy's right, on the inland side, were a lounging Dakota and a chill Bridgette. Past Amy were Ezekiel and Beth, leaning against each other and smiling happily.

The last seven campers stood in the back row, all of them large enough to be seen over the rest. Closest to the lake was Sam, hands noticeably empty but smiling anyway. Next to the gamer was a grinning Geoff, followed by a waving DJ. Leaning forward with an arm around B was Alejandro, showing his charm, followed by a flexing Lightning. Next to the jock was Sierra, who was giving the host a creepy look. At the end stood Beardo, who had grabbed a large pair of headphones from his bags and was pressing them against his ear, shooting the world a confident smile.

"Okay!" Chris called out. "One! Two! Thre-," he paused a moment, "oops!" The group's smiles faded. "Okay, forgot the lens cap!" the host explained, pressing the button to remove said cap. "Okay, hold that pose! One, tw-" The campers kept their smiles on through the second interruption. "Oh! No wait! Card's full! Hang on..."

"Hurry _up_ already!" Amy shouted. "My _knees_ are getting sore."

"Got it!" Chris announced at last. "Okay! Everyone say, _Wawanakwa_!"

"_Wawanakwa_!" The campers cried as one, before the planks of the dock cracked and fell apart. The camera cut to a series of photo showing the campers in the lake, trying not to drown.

"Okay guys, dry off and meet at the campfire pit in ten!" Chris said, perfectly dry on top of the boat. The scene faded to black and back again.

The camera zoomed outward from a shot of Chris standing behind the campfire pit facing away until all twenty-two campers were in the shot. Amy, Sammy, Ezekiel, Dawn, and Scarlett sat on the front row of stumps with DJ, Beth, and Jo standing amongst them. The back row of seats were taken by Dakota, Bridgette, Scott, Sugar, Topher, and Staci. The rest of the campers – Geoff, Sierra, Lightning, Shawn, Sam, Beardo, Alejandro, and B – stood behind the stumps.

"_This_ is Camp Wawanakwa, your home for the next eight weeks!" Chris began. "The campers sitting around you will be your cabinmates, your competition, and maybe even your friends, ya dig?" The camera cut to shots of a few groups of campers during the exposition. "The camper who manages to stay on 'Total Drama Island' the longest, without getting voted off, will win one-hundred-_thousand_ dollars!" The music became triumphant for just a moment while the prize was announced.

"Umm, Chris?" Topher asked. "What's the sleeping situation gonna be?"

"Eww, they're not gonna be _co-ed_ are they?" Amy added, shooting sideways glances towards some of the less attractive young men around her.

"Nope!" Chris answered. "Girls get one side of each cabin, and dudes get the other."

"So, like, I'm gonna get my own room, right?" Dakota interrupted. "Because, I mean, I _am_ the cutest one here."

"Sorry," Chris said with an unapologetic shake of his head, "but that's not really how it _works_ here."

Sammy looked ready to say something before she caught her sister's glare.

"Heehee, I hope I get the cabin closest to _Chris_..." Sierra said, not taking her eyes off the host.

"_That's_ pretty messed up." DJ told Geoff under his breath.

"Here's the deal!" Chris said, drawing the attention of both camera and cast. "We're gonna split you into two teams. If I call your name out, go stand over there." He pointed to a spot off-camera, and the view switched to show each contestant's reaction to their name being called and moving to the assigned spot.

"Jo, Shawn, DJ, Topher, Staci, Beth, Dawn, Amy, Beardo, Alejandro, and, Samey!" The camera cut back to the host, who tossed a rolled-up green banner to Beardo. "From this moment on, you are _officially_ known _as_," a guitar riff was played as the banner unfurled, revealing the silhouette of a gopher in a fighting stance. "The 'Screaming Gophers'!"

Beardo looked down at the image and smiled. He thought for a second, then imitated the squeaks and chirps of a gopher – as close to screaming as they ever got.

Sammy, next to her thoroughly unimpressed twin, let loose a sigh of resignation.

"The rest of you, over here!" Chris beckoned the remaining campers. Once again, the camera cut to each camper as they were named. "Geoff, Bridgette, Lightning, Sierra, B, Scott, Scarlett, Ezekiel, Dakota, Sam, and Sugar!" he listed. "_Move_! _Move move move_!"

As the camera focused on the new team, Chris threw a salmon-colored banner to Lightning. "_You guys_ will officially be known as," a more orchestral riff was played for the second unveiling, showing the emblem of an angry fish. "The 'Killer Bass'!"

"Sa-_weet_!" Lightning exclaimed.

"Alright campers!" The music picked up as the camera switch back to the host. "You and your team will be on camera in _all_ public areas during this competition." The scene transitioned via static to Chris sitting in what appeared to be a large outhouse. There was a skull and crossbones carved into the back wall, and a few flies buzzing around. "You will also be able to share your innermost thoughts on tape with video diaries, anytime you want. Let the audience know what you're _really_ thinking." He winked. "_Or_, just get something off your chest!" Another bout of static signaled the transition to the first confessionals of the series.

Scott was first, arms folded as he looked around the small room. He snorted. "_Please_, this place ain't so bad! Bunch a' _babies_ we've got here." He smirked. "Just makes it _easier_ for me to win."

More static, then another brief confessional – Dakota this time, and the blonde was smiling. "Hey everyone! Just wanted to say th-" She noticed a fly on her arm, and shrieked. Another cut to static.

The third 'confessional' was of a common loon that had somehow made its way into the outhouse. Inexplicably, it was applying pink lipstick to the end of its bill.

Sugar's confessional was shown fourth. "I just wanted to let y'all know that I'm playin' this game to _win,_" she smiled. "And since I got both beauty, talent, _and_ brains, there's no _way_ I can lose!"

One final bit of static preceded the cut back to a shot of Chris from between the campers' legs. "Alright! Any questions?" The host didn't bother to pause for very long. "Cool! Let's find your cabins!"

The scene changed to a shot of two cabins sitting roughly perpendicular to each other, each with two doors and a railed-in porch in front. Chris entered view from the lower left with his back turned, and arm extended towards the cabins. "Gophers, you're in the east cabin," he turned around and pointed a thumb over his shoulder, "and Bass, you're in the west."

The viewpoint switched again to a close-up of a cabin door as it was opened from the outside, showing the layout of the room. A large circular rug lay in the center of the room, and on the back wall was a window and small stool. Both the rug and the curtains lining the window looked shabby and moth-eaten.

On either side of the room were bunk beds; two sets along the right wall, one on the left next to a potbellied stove. "Uggh, _bunk beds_? Figures. How much more _summer camp_ could they _get_?" The camera switch to a side view of Amy entering the girls' side of the Gophers' cabin. A pile of wood sat below a small front window, and between the stove and a few coat hooks in the corner was a dresser and large mirror. An oil lamp rested on top of the dresser, unlit.

"Well," Sammy answered, entering the room carrying both twins' suitcases, "you know, it _is_ a summer camp."

"Nobody _cares_, Samey!" Amy yelled back.

"Hello, _ladies_!" Alejandro greeted from the doorway. He flashed a smile at the twins and the recently-arrived Staci, all of whom swooned. "I just wanted to make sure none of you needed help with anything."

He was forcefully shoved aside by Jo. "Get back on your _own_ side, Alejandro!"

"Very well then, I apologize for the intrusion." The camera cut to the young man exiting to the cabin's porch, while Chris approached the cabin. "Excuse me, but where are the electrical outlets?" Alejandro asked. "I have a few things that need to be plugged in, as do the _others_ no doubt."

The camera zoomed in on Chris's smiling face. "There are some in the _communal_ bathrooms, just across the way." It cut again to an exterior of the bathroom building.

"_Communal_?" Alejandro said from off-camera. "You _can't_ be _serious_!"

"'Fraid so, man!" Chris said, the camera showing his close-up again. "Have fun _sharing_!"

"Wait, _what_?" Topher said, sticking his head out of the cabin door and dashing out to the porch. "You're not even giving us private _toilets_? How am I supposed to sculpt this beautiful face and hair each morning if I have to do it around everyone _else_?" He gripped his face in panic.

"I feel your pain." Alejandro told him, putting a hand on his shoulder as the handsome pair mourned for their bathroom privacy.

The view shifted to Beardo, DJ, and Shawn taking a look outside of their door at the commotion outside and the sounds of a growing argument in the girls' side. Beardo smirked and imitated the sound of two cats fighting.

"Hah, you said it dude." DJ chuckled. "I'm glad at least the three of _us_ are cool with the sleepin' arrangements."

"Are you _kidding_?" Shawn objected. "No _way_ am I sleeping in a cabin with a bunch of other people! I mean _sure_, I'll keep all my non-essential _stuff_ in here, but I'm _not_ gonna leave myself open to a _zombie_ attack by sleeping _indoors_."

The two black teens shared a look of confusion. "So, uh, where _are_ you gonna sleep?" DJ asked.

"In a tree, _obviously_." Shawn answered, stepping out into the common area and looking at the forest. "I mean, _everyone knows_ that zombies can't climb, sheesh!" His roommates shared another look.

The camera went back to the host, who was also giving Shawn an odd look. "Excuse me, Chris?" Geoff asked from off-camera. Chris turned his head, and the camera cut to the party boy standing on the porch of the Bass' cabin, just as Bridgette was entering the girls' side. "Is there a..._chaperone_ of any kind in this facility?"

"You're all sixteen years old," the host said as the camera showed a close-up of him looking around, "as old as a councilor-in-training at a regular summer camp!" He shrugged. "So, other than _myself_, you'll be unsupervised. You've got a half-an-hour to unpack and meet me at the Main Lodge! Starting..." he looked at his watch, "Now!"

"_Nice_!" Geoff exclaimed. The view switched from him to Alejandro and Topher outside the Gopher cabin, then to Bridgette, Lightning, and Scott outside the Bass cabin as a piercing shriek filled the air, and finally to a shot from inside the cabin as Alejandro, Topher, Jo, Lightning, DJ, Dawn, and Beth peered inside.

"Is there a problem, chicas?" Alejandro asked as the camera switched to show Amy standing on the stool, cowering from a single cockroach.

"_Kill_ it, Samey, hurry up!" she shouted to her sister, who sat on one of the top bunks. DJ gasped at the sight of the tiny insect, then shrieked and jumped onto the bed below Sammy – the impact caused it to break, and the nice twin to sigh.

The viewpoint shifted to floor-level as the cockroach scurried around the room, deftly dodging several feet and sending campers screaming. "Oh, no!" Dawn cried, quickly darting between the other campers and scooping up the cockroach just before Jo's foot came stomping down. The commotion stopped once the teens realized the roach had disappeared.

"It's _okay_, little one." Dawn whispered to the insect cupped in her hands. "I know you meant no harm. I'll take you somewhere _safer_, okay?" The blonde, oblivious to the looks she was getting, left the cabin.

"Well, _that_ was sha-_weird_!" Lightning said, breaking the awkward silence.

"_Eww_," Amy shuddered as she finally stepped down from the stool, "she'd _better_ not think that's her _pet_ or something." She looked over at the broken bunk and sheepish DJ still on it. "Oh, and Samey? I changed my mind, I'll let _you_ have the bottom bunk."

"Sorry about that." DJ told the girl on the bed above him.

Sammy sighed. "It's fine..."

The scene transitioned via flash to the outside of another building. A military drumline started up as the camera cut to inside the building, where the queued-up campers were being addressed by a hulking black man in a chef's hat and apron. "Listen up! I _serve_ it three times a day, and you will _eat_ it three times a day! Grab your tray, get your _food_, and sit your butts down _NOW_!" The dishes behind him rattled when he finished.

"Excuse me," Beth asked from the front of the line, "will we be getting all the major food groups?" The camera switched to a view of the Chef putting a scoop of some manner of reddish-brown meat-like substance onto a bun on Beth's tray. She and Scarlett took their filled trays, and the shot changed to an extreme close-up of the Chef's left eye.

"I'll second that question." Scarlett added off-camera. "A deficiency in any of the essential nutrients could impact our health, and thus our ability to compete. Therefore, we should prioritize getting a balanced diet." The Chef's eye twitched.

"You'll be getting' a load of _SHUT THE HECK UP_!" The Chef yelled, and the two young women backed away quickly.

"Huhuh, that guy needs to find a chill pill upgrade, right?" Sam chuckled to Ezekiel.

"What was that, _tubby_?" The Chef called out, beckoning the pair forward with one finger. "I didn't _hear_ you."

"Uh, nothing, sir!" Sam panicked, taking his food and leaving.

"I'm _sure,_" the Chef glared as Ezekiel stepped forward and grabbed a tray of food. "You! Homeschooled kid! Gimme your plate!" Ezekiel stopped and allowed the Chef to dole out another scoop of the mystery meat-like substance onto his plate; it somehow clung back to the scoop, and the Chef had to throw it down a second time with more force.

"You know, it was my Great-Great-Great-Grandfather Hector who _invented _camp food." Staci blathered as she and Jo, the next two in line, went to get their meals. "Before him, campers had to forage in the woods for nuts and berries, yah. And then there was my Great-Great-Great-Great-Aunt Becky, who came up with the idea of lunch lines. Before that, people had to eat from one giant bowl."

"Would you shut _up_ already!" Jo barked as she stormed past her teammate.

"_NEXT_!" the Chef yelled.

A flash marked the transition to a close-up of the meat-like-substance-on-a-bun on Dakota's tray. "Umm, excuse me, but what _is_ this? My nutritionist has me on a _very_ strict diet, and I want to know if I can actually _eat_ this or not."

"That's _probably_ not the best thing to ask." Shawn told her as the camera showed a glaring Chef catch and kill a fly with one hand.

"_Right_..." Dakota agreed, scampering off and leaving Shawn as the sole camper left in line.

"Sorry, but has this food been tested for any viruses? I don't want my first meal here to turn me into a brain-eating monster or get up and try to _eat_ me," the scruffy teen asked. The Chef just stared at him and smashed the wiggling product with a meat hammer, not so much as blinking at it splattered both of them. "Right. I'll just _go_ now." Shawn quivered.

Another flash and the scene changed to a slow pan over the campers eating their lunches; the Bass sitting at the table closer to the kitchen, and the Gophers nearer to the door. One of the meat-like-substances-on-a-bun was shown crawling across the floor between tables, though nobody commented on it.

The pan ended as Chris entered the lodge by the main door. "Welcome the the Main Lodge!" he announced.

"Yo, my man! Can we order a pizza?" an unimpressed Geoff asked from the Bass table. The camera showed a cleaver flying through the air and imbedding itself into the wall near Chris.

"Whoa! It's _cool_, G! Brown slop is _cool_, heh heh." Geoff quickly apologized to a knife-wielding Chef. "Rights guys?"

The other campers nodded nervously.

"Your first challenge begins," Chris announced, the camera back on his face. He turned around to exit, and held up a single finger. "In _one_ hour!"

"I wonder what we'll have to do?" Sammy asked.

"It's our first challenge," DJ answered from the seat next to her, "how hard can it be?"

The scene cut to roughly an hour later via a quick-pan to the top of a cliff. The campers were standing at the edge in their swimsuits, looking over the edge; DJ was prominent among them. The camera zoomed out twice, each transition punctuated by suitably dramatic spike in the music. The cliff the campers were standing on was incredibly large, easily the tallest in the area.

"Oh, _shit_." DJ said, now just part of a blurry haze at the very top.

xxx

(Fade to Preview)

"Next time, on Total Drama Island!" Chris said in a zoomed-out shot from the dock.

The camera cut to the full view of the cliff with the host providing a voice-over. "Your first task is to _jump_ off this one-thousand-foot-high cliff, _in_ to the lake." The scene cut to the confessional with the standard static in-between.

"I'm lookin' at this guy and thinkin'," Geoff said, "there's no _way_ he's gonna make it."

"For a moment there I thought," Jo said in the next confessional, "if he does this? He's gonna frickin' _die_!"

The scene cut to a bare-chested Sam walking away from the camera. "_Ohhh_ man I'm gonna die. I'm gonna _die_, and I haven't even reached the final level of 'Cave Conquerors 2'," he lamented. The camera cut to two sharks swimming along the surface of the lake, teeth bared, and then to a view beneath Sam's screaming plunge off the cliff. Geoff, Bridgette, and Sugar winced at the sound of a large splash.

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

**Author's Note - Post Script**

So yes, this should be an interesting season. I can already sense the gambits about to pile up.

Regarding the pairings, the only one I will guarantee is Gidgette. I will say that Samkota has a good chance of happening as well, but anything else verges into non-canon territory and I'd prefer to keep my plans a secret. There will almost certainly be non-straight pairings, though, so if that bothers you...well, you can get out, as I don't particularly care for homophobes.

Because these chapters are shorter and based around the canon episodes, expect this fic to be updated much more quickly than Total Drama Rebirth (which I will still be working on alongside this). My current aim is to get a chapter finished every week, although I will probably end up slowing down the pace later on. As with Rebirth, I will be keeping a buffer of chapters - Chapter 2 will not be posted until Chapter 3 is finished, and so on.

I hope you all enjoy this story. Please let me know if you have a problem with my characterization and such.

- Fangren


	2. Chapter 2 - Not So Happy Campers, Part 2

**Author's Note**

I'm quite happy to have a chapter come out when I expect it to! Especially since this story seems to be relatively popular so far. It was a fairly simple chapter to write, especially since I've known who was going to be eliminated for some time. I think I've also gotten a nice look at how this challenge could have gone, and hopefully I've managed to keep everyone in-character while doing so.

With regards to the reviewers:

**80jj:** I'm glad you like it! I also like B and Beardo, but how far they're going to get in this game I'll keep a secret - not that it would be difficult to have them go further than they did in their canon seasons.

**invaderzimdibfan:** I'm glad you like the concept! Hopefully I can maintain the quality.

**TheNextAngelRoy:** I'm happy you liked the callbacks! I'm also happy you wrote down your thoughts for each character. I obviously won't spoil the plans and details I've already hammered out, what with spoilers and all, but I will say that our character preferences don't completely line up so you may end up disappointed down the line. Still, I hope you keep reading and enjoying!

**Anonymous Guest #1:** I don't know if this is your opinion or not, but the assumption that all characters are straight until shown otherwise is inherently homophobic. In this series, we know very little of where the majority of characters lie in the spectra of sexual and romantic attraction, and even the stuff we do know doesn't automatically exclude all other possibilities (i.e. Geoff's attraction to Bridgette doesn't automatically mean he can't be attracted to a guy, though I don't plan to explore that in this fic). Also, I am most decidedly _not_ including non-straight ships because, as you seem to believe, I am 'a horny fangirl who finds that kind of thing hot and gets off on it.' I am twenty-six years old; I have much better things to do than be attracted to a bunch of animated teens. Any ships i include in any story I write are there purely because I either like them, or they are canon.

**Sleep Arypsure:** I hope you find the wait to have been worth it!

**EvilAngel666:** I'm glad you like it! In some ways, I'm happy that Heather isn't in this season, as it means that one of the later seasons is guaranteed a high-quality villain. Hopefully I won't take too long to get to her debut.

Thank you all for reading! I await your feedback should you choose to give it.

- Fangren

* * *

**Episode 2 – Not So Happy Campers, Part 2**

The episode opened with the same distance shot of Chris at the dock used for the preview at the end of the previous episode. "Last time, on Total Drama Island!" The camera cut to a shot of all twenty-two campers at the campfire pit, awaiting their team assignments, then to parts of the scene at the Gopher girls' cabin, and finally lunch with the hulking Chef. "Twenty-two campers have signed up to spend eight weeks _right here_ at this crummy old summer camp, _then_ have to face the judgment of their fellow campers."

"It's our first challenge, how hard can it be?" The clip of DJ eating with his team was shown again, followed by a dramatic switch to the cliff.

"Oh, _shit_."

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

[Several shots of the lights and cameras hidden around camp popping out and turning on, often at the expense of the wildlife. A cue card marks a transition to a fly-by shot starting at the docks and 'Wawanakwa' sign, past the camp facilities, and over the top of the host drinking coffee in a director's chair just as the lyrics start.]

_Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

[The camera flies through the trees and up to the largest cliff, peeking over to see two rings of buoys laid out in the water.]

_You guys are on my mind!_

[The camera dives off the cliff and into an underwater shot; DJ is shown in a barely-fitting life jacket and swim trunks. He spots a shark and screams, swimming upwards just as a fishing line hooks his life jacket.]

_Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

_And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

[A cut to the surface, where B is sitting in a modified canoe. As he tinkers with a motorized fishing rod, DJ surfaces and grabs the side of the canoe; the mechanism malfunctions and tears the life jacket off, flinging it high into the sky.]

_I wanna be...famous!_

[The life jacket hangs in front of the sun for a moment before coming back down into the woods. The camera pans down to Dawn meditating on a stump and surrounded by small woodland animals; the life jacket hits her in the head, knocking her over and scattering the wildlife. The camera zooms out to show Scott watching the scene and laughing, and then again to show Scarlett raising an eyebrow, then writing something in a notebook.]

_I wanna live close to the sun!_

[The camera zooms to another part of camp, showing Sierra and Topher sitting in an inflatable raft and about to go over a waterfall. Too busy slap-fighting, they notice too late and scream as they go over the edge.]

_Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

[The shot pans down to the bottom of the waterfall, showing Alejandro standing on a broken log suspended between two rocks. Too busy balancing on one hand, he misses Sierra and Topher falling behind him. Shawn, shooting fearful looks behind him, runs into view and collides with Alejandro, sending both flying off to the left of the camera.]

_Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

[The camera rapidly pans to follow Shawn and Alejandro, and they eventually slam into the outhouse confessional. The impact causes Sugar to fly out the door, and the camera pans over to the Main Lodge – Chef's silhouette is visible in the window.]

_I'll get there one day._

[The camera moves in past the window to show a smirking Chef, arm deep in a large pot of something sickly green. He looks behind him to where Beardo and Beth are sitting, both tied up. The two share a nervous glance.]

_'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

[The camera pans left to show Jo and Lightning arm-wrestling. Jo points at something behind Lightning, distracting him long enough for her to win. The camera zooms out past another window to show the edge of the docks. Amy backhands a gabbing Staci, then pushes over Sammy as the nicer twin bends down to pick up a shell.]

_(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

[A pan down the docks show Sam happily playing a portable console. A furry hand taps him on the shoulder, distracting the gamer and allowing the arm to snatch away the console. Sam realizes what's happened, and rushes angrily at the large hairy ape-man now playing the game.

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

[Dakota moves the camera onto herself, and kisses the lens. She waves as a man quickly wipes away the smudge, then types something into her cellphone. Moments later, five other men appear on the docks with cameras, snapping pictures of a rapidly-posing Dakota.]

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

[The photoshoot is interrupted by a splash of water; the camera pans right to show an annoyed Chris standing on a boat and holding an empty bucket. The reflection of light on the bucket become stars in the night sky as the scene transitions, panning down to reveal Bridgette and Geoff sitting at a campfire in front of a large full moon. They lean in for a kiss but are interrupted by Ezekiel's sudden appearance between then, an arm around both of them and an oblivious smile. The shot zooms out to show the other campers also sitting around the fire and whistling the last few notes of the theme song as Chris watches.]

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

A shot of the entire cliff was shown before changing to the group of campers overlooking the edge. "Okay!" Chris announced as the camera panned left to show him standing next to a crate as well as the other campers. "Today's challenge is threefold! Your first task is to _jump_ off this one-thousand-foot high cliff, _in_ to the lake."

"Piece of cake." Bridgette said with confidence.

"If you look down, you will see _two_ target areas." Chris continued off-screen, prompting Bridgette (and Lightning, who was in the shot with her) to look down at the water. The view switched to a top-down shot of the water below, showing a large semi-circle of buoys a the base of the cliff which enclosed a much smaller floating ring. "The wider area represents the part of the lake that we have stocked with," a trio of dorsal fins were shown circling at the surface of the lake, "_psychotic_," Chris chuckled as one of the fish jumped out of the water to snap at nothing, "man-eating _sharks_!"

Several shots of the campers looking down at the danger that waited them were shown as Chris continued to explain the challenge – first Geoff and Alejandro, "Inside that area is a _safe zone_," then DJ, "_that's_ your target area," Ezekiel, Jo, and Shawn, "_which_ we're pretty sure is _shark-free_!"

"Umm, can you say that again?" Sammy asked nervously. The camera cut back to a smiling Chris, who ignored her and continued speaking.

"For each member of your team that jumps and actually..._survives_, there will be a crate of supplies waiting below." The camera quick-panned to two stacks of crates already piled on the beach. "Inside each crate, are supplies that _you'll_ need for the second part of the challenge..._building_ a hot tub!" the shot changed to a close-up of the object in question, zooming out to reveal it in its entirety and accompanied by a jingle reminiscent of a game show. The camera cut back to the grinning host. "The team with the best one gets to have a _wicked_ hot tub party tonight!" Chris pointed at the camera.

The view changed to a lonely pair of suitcases sitting on the edge of the dock at sunset. "The _losers_," the music turned slightly sinister, "will be sending someone home." The shot changed back to Chris once more. "Let's see...Screaming Gophers! You're up _first_!"

The view changed to a shot from below of Shawn looking down at the water. "Oh _man_ that's a long drop! So, uh, who wants go go first?"

Crickets were played over shots of both teams as nobody made moves to volunteer. "It can't be _that_ bad, right?" Bridgette said from amongst the Bass. "I mean, these shows make the interns test everything beforehand, right?"

A ripple effect signaled the transition to footage of Chris and Chef at the top of the cliff, the larger man sporting purple board shorts and an orange swim tube. "We _need_ to test the stunts first!" Chris exclaimed. "You _know_ that!"

"Do _I_ look like an _intern_?" Chef asked in a close-up.

"_No_," the host replied as the camera switched to him, "but the ones we _had_ are all in the _hospital_. Come on just jump it you big _chicken_!" He made a few clucking noises.

"I don't get paid enough for this man..." Chef said, snapping his swim goggles over his eyes. He hopped off the cliff, and screamed all the way down.

The buoys of the target area were shown, before the camera quickly panned left to where Chef landed, well outside the smaller circle. "Hey! I made it!" Chef panted once he'd surfaced. "I made it man!" The view switched again, this time showing Chef's legs dangling below the surface of the lake from the point-of-view of something approaching the large man. The background music took a foreboding tone as the shot switched back to a close-up of Chef. "Somethin' just brushed by my foot!" he said in a panic, whipping around to try and catch a glimpse of what lurked beneath the waves. The shot zoomed out to show a shark fin swimming just behind Chef. "Hey Chris, man! Somethin' ain't _right_ down here!"

He briefly disappeared below the water before jumping clear out of it, swimming away and yelling unintelligibly as a shark chased him.

The camera cut back to Chris at the top of the cliff, writing something on a clipboard. "Well! _That_ seems safe enough." He walked away, and the scene rippled back to the present challenge.

"So, which one of you is going _first_?" Jo barked at her teammates.

Amy immediately raised her hand. "Samey will!" she said, shooting a vicious look at her twin. "After all, she _is_ the most _expendable_."

"I'm wha-!" Sammy started to object, but she was already too close to the edge of the cliff – she was shoved off by her sister, who watched Sammy fall before jumping off after.

Miraculously, Sammy landed screaming but well within the inner circle. "Oh em _gee_, I _did it_!" she exclaimed once she'd realized her own safety.

"Break my fall!" The younger twin's happiness evaporated as she heard Amy calling from above. Sammy only had time to look above her before Amy landed right on top. "Oh, _sorry_." Amy said without meaning a single word. "And hey, looks like you're not even good at being _bait_, sis!" As the boat came to pick them up, the camera cut back to the top of the cliff.

"Well then," Alejandro said as he looked over the cliff alongside Beardo and Staci, "I suppose _I_ shall be the next to jump." He took a deep breath, and swan-dived off the cliff. The camera followed his descent, but slowed just enough to catch the two that had jumped after him. Beardo came first, imitating the sound of an air raid siren. Staci followed shortly, screaming; she landed on one of the strings of small floaters, causing the bells on the adjacent buoys to ring noisily.

Back at the clifftop, DJ was next in line but looking extremely hesitant. "Uh-uh, no _way_ man." he said, shaking his hands and taking a step back. "I'm not jumpin'."

"Scared of heights?" Chris asked, touching music playing in the background.

"Yeah!" DJ nodded. "Ever since I was a kid!"

"Well _too bad_!" Jo interrupted, angrily getting in the gentle giant's face. "You're _jumping_, or else I'll _really_ give you something to be afraid of!"

DJ squeaked in fear and backed away, only to trip over a small rock. As he'd had his back away from the edge, he ended up tumbling backwards over it. He began to scream and flail his arms as soon as he realized what had happened, and even louder when he looked below him and saw a shark on the surface, jaws open and waiting.

Naturally, both human and fish had misjudged their relative positions and DJ landed on the shark's back. Although the predator had been knocked out cold by the impact, DJ hadn't noticed. With his already considerable strength amplified by fear, he windmilled his arms all the way to shore.

The camera cut back to an angry Jo and delighted Chris. "Anyone _else_ wanna chicken out?" the jock-ette said to the other four Gophers still at the top of the hill. None of them spoke up. "Good." Jo said, walking to the edge herself. The camera switched back to the falling viewpoint as Jo called out "Look out below!"

It was Shawn who came next, and he was in decidedly higher spirits than the rest of his team. "Woo hoo hooo!" he cried as he plunged downwards. The camera followed him all the way down, showing him landing perfectly in the center ring. The scene cut to his teammates cheering on the beach, then back up top.

It was now Beth's turn to look over the edge in fear. "I don't know if I'm more scared of _jumping_, or what Jo's gonna do to me if _don't_ jump..." she moaned.

"There's no need to be afraid of either, actually!" Dawn said, putting a hand on Beth's shoulder.

"How do you know?" the farm girl asked casting a worried look at her teammate.

"I can see it in your aura!" Dawn answered happily. "It's a very lovely shade of magenta, by the way, it suits you! But more importantly, there's _no_ sign of death in your near future, so you should be fine!"

The close-up of Beth's face showed no signs that she had been comfort. Instead, bewilderment had largely replaced her fear. "If you say so..." she said, looking back at the water far below and gulping. She stood up straight, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. "I can _do_ this!" she told herself as she jumped off.

Her fear quickly caught up to her, although she did indeed land safely. Dawn was not as lucky, landing a few feet away from the target area and attracting the attention of the sharks.

"Oh, um, _yes_, I don't suppose you'd like to help me get to shore?" Dawn asked the sharks, backing away in fear. The three fish actually stopped to look at each other for a moment before resuming their approach. "Right, yes, just checking!" Dawn said, hurrying to the 'safe' area and the waiting ship.

The scene transitioned to Chris holding up a clipboard at the top of the cliff. "Let's see now..." he said, studying the papers on the board. "Looks like we've got _ten_ jumpers so far! Pretty _surprising_ if you ask me, but we're still missing one!"

"That's me, Chris!" Topher said as the camera panned to him, standing alone in a wetsuit. "Just wanted to tell you how _great_ of a job you've been doing. I mean, this first challenge is just _perfect_! Really sorts out the _winners_ from the _chumps_, you know what I mean?"

"Glad you like it, Topher!" Chris smiled. "But you should probably get jumping."

"Right, gotcha!" the fanboy shooting one last look at the host as he took a running leap off the cliff.

"Wow, I _seriously_ can't believe they all did it!" Chris said as he watched Topher hit the water down below. "I mean, it's a _thousand-foot drop _into _shark-infested_ water! I _might_ have to step up the difficulty of future challenges if this keeps up." He turned around to look at the other team, the shot zooming out to get all twelve in frame. "Killer Bass! If you can match their score, I'll give you a pullcart to push your crates on!" The cart in question was shown on the beach, accompanied by the same jingle as the earlier hot tub. "But if you _fail_, I'll give it to the _Gophers_ instead!"

"Oh _yeah_!" Lightning cheered. "I'm up first! Sha-_Lightning_!" He took a running dive off the cliff, striking a pose at the last second before twisting back into form. He was shown to have landed without issue, and the shot cut back to the clifftop.

"Well, if that _fake_-fan _Topher_ can do it," Sierra muttered, "then so can _I_." She turned a smile towards the host. "Hey Chris!" she sang, "I'm gonna do the same dive you did at the end of that competitive diving movie you were in, remember that?"

"_Yes_, Sierra, I _do_ remember that horrible film. Unfortunately." Chris deadpanned.

"Good!" Sierra answered, oblivious to the annoyance she'd caused. "I hope you _like_ it!" She took a deep breath and launched herself off the cliff, tucking in her legs and starting to somersault forwards. She kept spinning all the way down, only uncurling herself just before she hit the water.

Sierra struck the water flat on her back. "_Owww_..." she mumbled, sinking beneath the lake's surface but fortunately within the target area.

"Well whaddaya know?" Chris smirked blandly, the camera switching back to his close-up. "She actually pulled it off." He turned his head and the camera panned to the rest of the Killer Bass. "Next?"

Bridgette was the one who stepped up first. "It's no big deal..." she said, psyching herself up. "Everybody else who jumped landed safely, so why shouldn't I?" The surfer took a deep breath and swan-dived off the cliff.

The point-of-view fell with her, slowing down once more to get shots of other campers mid-descent.

"_WOO_-HOOHOOHOO_HOOOO_!" Geoff cried as he fell.

"YEE-HAAA!" Ezekiel followed suit, hitting a protruding rock halfway down which sent him spinning.

Scarlett was next, showing decent form despite her obvious fear. "It's only approximately eight seconds, it's only approximately eight seconds, it's only..." she muttered all the way down.

B was last in the sub-group, tucked in to a cannonball. He landed outside the inner ring, but the splash he caused sent the sharks flying away from him.

"Well _shucks_," Sugar said as she looked over the edge, "looks like I'm gonna hafta get my _hair_ wet. But I ain't gonna let _nobody_ call _me_ chicken!" She steeled herself, and hopped off.

The camera cut to Chris at the sound of Sugar's splash, the host making more marks on his clipboard. "Let's see, just _three_ of you left! And remember, you _all_ have to jump or the _other_ team get the carts," he told the last three campers with a smile. "But no pressure, dude!"

Sam gulped and stepped forward. "Okay, there's pressure!" Chris said suddenly and with unnerving glee.

A funeral bell began to toll as Sam began to prepare himself. "Yeah, I was pretty nervous." The gamer said by voice-over. The camera transitioned via static to the confessional, where Sam sat. The Killer Bass' logo was placed in the top left corner. "I haven't exactly been leveling my _swim_ skill, if you know what I mean." Sam said with a nervous chuckle.

The confessional changed to Geoff, the reddish fish still showing in the corner. "I'm lookin' at this guy and thinkin'," the party boy said, "there's no _way_ he's gonna make it."

"For a moment there I thought," Jo said in the next confessional, green gopher having replaced the old logo, "if he does this? He's gonna frickin' _die_!"

One last bit of static and the camera cut back to Chris and Sam at the clifftop. "Take a _good_ run at it buddy," Chris coached, "you can _do_ this!"

The scene cut to a bare-chested Sam walking away from the camera. "_Ohhh_ man I'm gonna die. I'm gonna _die_, and I haven't even reached the final level of 'Cave Conquerors 2'," he lamented. The other eight members of the Killer Bass who'd already jumped were shown on the beach, looking up at Sam in anticipation and fear. Sam's fist was shown being clenched, before a few members of the Screaming Gophers were shown in profile, looking up as well.

A shot of Sam's eyes narrowing, then back to Geoff on the beach. "You can _do_ it, dude!" he called up to his teammate.

Sam charged past Chris and straight off the cliff, the tone of his screams changing rapidly from determination to utter fear. A top-down view of the target areas was shown again, Sam's pasty back sliding into view as the large boy jumped. Various angles of his fall were shown, first a head-on view, then in profile, a brief cut to Chris, Scott, and Dakota watching the boy fall, then back to the water's surface looking up, and finally to the zoomed-out view of the cliff to show the extent of the belly flop splash.

In truth, it was only about on par with B's cannon ball, but it certainly looked more impressive thanks to the camera angle. "Uggh..." Sam moaned as he struggled to get on board the boat, barely hearing his teammate's cheers.

The camera cut back to Scott and Dakota, still on top of the thousand-foot-high cliff. "Your turn, _Princess_." Scott said. "Better hope your _make-up_ doesn't get ruined by the water," he snickered. "Or by the man-eating _sharks_."

Dakota took another look down at the water. "Good point. I don't think I can do this."

The camera cut to a confused Chris. "Really?" he asked. "You're going to _single-handedly_ give the Gophers a big advantage, and _seriously_ cheese off your own teammates in the process?"

"Well, it's not like I'm going to risk my _looks_ on _this_!" Dakota replied.

"Works for me!" Chris shrugged, and reached to the crate he'd been standing by since the challenge started. "_But_, since you're the first person to _not_ jump, you also get to be the first person to wear one of _these_!" He took a yellow chicken-shaped hat out of the crate and jammed it on the rich girl's head. "A chicken hat, which you have to wear for the _rest_ of the _day_. Because you're a _chicken_." He clucked at her.

"What? But that's not _fair_!" Dakota protested, looking at the dangling chicken legs in horror.

"Tell that to your _team_." Chris smiled. "The chicken path down is over _there_." He lead Dakota to what appeared, due to a combination of props and video editing, to be the top of an escalator.

The host turned to the only other person left on the clifftop. "You gonna jump man? It won't really help your team, but you'll still have to wear a chicken hat if you don't do it."

Scott shrugged. "Hey, now that Daddy's Little Angel chickened out, there's no reason for me _not_ to jump, now is there?"

"'Kay." Chris said as he took out a megaphone. "One last jumper, campers!" he called down to those who waited on the beach. The Killer Bass, who hadn't yet learned of Dakota's decision, looked torn between confusion and excitement.

A brief period of static marked the switch to confessional footage, with Scott in the outhouse and the Bass logo in the corner. "My strategy is to let my team lose so the _Gophers_ develop a false sense of security," the redhead explained. "Then, once the teams merge, they'll be _ripe_ for the picking!" He punched his hand before continuing. "Since I got Dakota to chicken out, they _should_ go after her first. And the best part is that I barely had to do _anything_! Still, a little _sabotage_ couldn't hurt, heheheh." The camera cut to static as Scott rubbed his hands devilishly.

Back at the clifftop, Chris made use of his megaphone once more. "And the _winners_ of the first part of the challenge _and_ the pullcarts are..." the host began, stretching the pause for as long as he could. "The Screaming Gophers!"

The team in question began to celebrate just as Dakota made it to the bottom of the cliff. Between the hat on her head and the obvious fact that she hadn't jumped, the Killer Bass quickly realized she'd cost them the win.

"What?" Dakota asked when met by ten glares.

The camera zoomed out from the beach and faded to black, then faded back in to the Gophers – back in their normal clothes - in the process of hauling their crates back to the cabins. They had been given four carts with which to carry eleven crates; it had taken some careful stacking, but they were managing comfortably. Alejandro, Jo, DJ, and Beardo had volunteered for pulling duty, and spirits were high enough that they had decided to sing '99 Bottles of Pop' to pass the time.

"Forty-nine bottles of pop on the wall, forty-nine bottles of pop! If one of those bottles should happen to fall, forty-eight bottles of pop on the wall!" That was the only verse they were shown singing before the camera quick-panned to the Killer Bass. The Gopher logo which had been hanging in the upper-left portion of the screen spun around to show the symbol of the Bass.

Although they had one less box to carry, the diverse physical abilities of the team was making things difficult. Fortunately for them, Scarlett had already come up with a plan. "As we're the two physically _weakest_ members of the team, Dakota and I should combine our energies. Everyone else should focus their efforts on transporting a single crate as far as they can by themselves, and if time permits anyone who reaches the cabins should double-back and aide whomever is the furthest from our destination," she said as they started the journey back.

"Do I _have_ to?" Dakota groaned as she approached the brainiac.

Scarlett gave her a withering glare. "_Yes_. Or have you not _realized_ that if we _lose_ this challenge, _you'll_ be the one that gets eliminated?" Dakota squeaked and started to help, albeit reluctantly.

The camera quick-panned back to the other team, logo changing accordingly. As they sang past the thirty-second bottle, Topher noticed the camera and struck a few poses. He stopped when he heard a cry of "Sha-woo!" in the distance; the camera panned right to show Lightning approaching rapidly, crate in his arms and grin on his face, then panned back to Topher. The handsome teen panicked, and ran to catch up with the other Gophers.

Another quick-pan showed the Killer Bass making slow but steady progress. Aside from Lightning's tremendous lead, it was Geoff, Sierra, B, and the duo of Scarlett and Dakota that were making the best time. The former three were pushing their crates along the sand, while the two young women were managing to carry their shared load.

B stopped pushing for a moment and wiped his brow. "Please don't take too long of a break," Scarlett told him as she and Dakota passed by, and the large young man shot them a thumbs up. As he caught his breath, he took a closer look at his crate, then scratched his soul patch in thought. He looked around and saw something amongst the bushes and trees along the beach, then calmly went over to pick it up.

A flash was used to transition back to the Gophers mid-verse. "...should happen to fall, twenty-eight bottles of pop on the wall!" The team came to a stop, and the camera switched to a close-up of Beth.

"Hey look!" she said excitedly, the shot changing to one of the cabins. "There's the campgrounds!"

"Well it's about _time_." Amy complained.

"Okay, time to get to work!" Jo ordered.

"Let's get started, shall we?" Alejandro said.

The two shot looks at each other, Jo's angry and Alejandro's questioning. Their eye contact was broken by Lightning rushing past them, crate held high.

Another flash took the point-of view back to the Killer Bass. "Get _movin_'!" Sugar yelled at B as he stopped once again to collect something off the ground. "I didn't ruin my make-up so you could look at the dang scenery!"

B shrugged and stowed his latest acquisition in his coat. He quickly got back to his crate, and started pushing it alongside Sugar, Sam, and Bridgette.

A flash transitioned the scene back to the campgrounds. The camera panned to follow Chris as he walked past Shawn, Alejandro, and Topher as they worked to open a pair of crates. "_Remember_, you guys can only use your _teeth_ to open the crates!" the host said, explaining why the teens behind him had been attacking the containers with their mouths. "_I_ came up with that one!" Chris smiled in a close-up.

"And it sure is a _good_ one!" Topher commented, spitting out the end of a rope he'd been pulling that was attached to his crate.

"_Surely_ there must be a better way?" Alejandro said, rubbing his jaw after gnawing at the wood failed to yield results.

"I know, right?" Shawn added as he too took a break. "You'd practically have to be a...a _zombie_ to bite your way into these things!"

The camera changed back to footage of the Bass, this time focusing on Scott and Ezekiel at the tail end of their team. The homeschooler was hunched over trying to carry the box on his back, while the redhead didn't seem to have broken a sweat pushing his.

"Yo, which one of you needs help from Lightning?" they heard the jock say as he ran through the other members of their team.

"I could use a hand, eh!" Ezekiel answered gladly. Scott just rolled his eyes.

"No problem!" Lightning said as he took the crate off of Ezekiel's back. "Lightning _knows_ that not everyone is as amazingly strong as _he_ is!" The overachiever took on the entire burden himself, and left Ezekiel blinking.

"Hey, want me to help?" the toque-wearer asked his teammate, lifting up one end of the box before getting an answer.

"Gee, _thanks_." Scott said with barely-concealed bitterness.

Back at the campgrounds, the Gophers had managed to open a few of their crates and were now looking through their contents.

Beardo made sounds of a hammer and wrench at work as he held up those tools, and switched to the sound of water filling a pool as he held up the plastic liner.

"Oh, wood!" Staci said, holding up a few planks. "This reminds me of my Great-Great-Great Aunt Cleo, who came up with a new method of waterproofing pieces of wood! It actually replaced a technique invented by my Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Grandfather Louis, yah."

"Nobody cares!" Jo barked. "Just throw in on the ground and move on to the next crate!"

"Hold on, shouldn't we try to keep the parts organized? Alejandro objected. "After all, our opponents have already gotten several of their crates here, and we don't want to lose our lead because we can't find something!" He pointed to Geoff and Sierra, who were already working on the crates they had pushed over.

"It won't _matter_ if we don't get our _crates_ open!" Jo argued.

The camera cut to another group of campers still working on their crates. "Try _harder_, Samey!" Amy yelled as she watched her sister bite a crate.

"I'm trying as h- _ow_!" Sammy began, before recoiling in pain. "I think I got a _splinter_ on my _lip_!"

"Uggh, cry me a _river_ why don't you?" the older sister spat.

The camera cut back to the main group of campers as Scarlett and Dakota joined their teammates.

"Uggh, I'm _so_ tired!" Dakota moaned, pulling a compact from her pocket and checking her face in it. "I'm not _blotchy_, am I?"

"You look fine to me!" Geoff told her, finally prying the lid off the crate in front of him.

Scarlett took a look at the campers around her and frowned. She motioned for Geoff and Sierra to come closer and began to whisper to both them and Dakota. "Listen. Even using the rope, attempting to open these wooden shipping containers with only our teeth is extremely inefficient in terms of both time and energy expenditure. We _need_ to procure better tools, such as-"

She was interrupted by something being tossed over her head – a thick, sturdy stick which Geoff caught with ease. The camera panned over to B at the front of the rest of the Killer Bass; he took several more sticks out of his coat and smirked.

"Excellent!" Scarlett said as she grabbed the stick from Geoff's hand and examined it closely, the shot zooming in to focus on her discerning eye and a pointed end of the stick. "These fallen branches can be used as a combination wedge and class-one lever," she explained to her team in hushed tones. "If we insert the sharpened end into the gap between two of the crate's faces, we can-"

"-use them to pry open the crates!" Bridgette finished. "Scarlett, B, you two are _geniuses_!"

"Thank you," Scarlett said, "but we should really start working, as I'm fairly certain the other team heard your outburst."

The scene flashed in transition to a close-up of Alejandro, who had been leaning an ear towards the Bass in hopes of eavesdropping. "Of course, I should have thought of that sooner!" he muttered to himself, turning back to his struggling team. "Amigos! I have an idea to get the rest of the crates open quickly!" he called to them, earning the attention of most. "But first, half of us need to start working on the hot tub."

"Hey, who made _you_ the boss?" Jo barked.

A montage of the two teams' progress on their tubs was shown, switching regularly to highlight the vast differences between the Gophers and the Bass; the icon of the team being focused on at a given moment was shown in the top-left corner of the scene. First up was a shot of Lightning and Sierra easily opening a pair of crates thanks to the tools B had provided. In contrast, the Gophers were still struggling as Alejandro and Jo argued over how to proceed.

Another shot of the Bass showed B and Scarlett making quick work of the construction, with the former handling most of the building and the latter ensuring that he had every tool and part as they were needed. The Gophers, however, lacked such engineering talents – Beth and Shawn were doing the most work, but the girl had to leave the tub for a moment to get a piece she needed. Without another pair of arms, the scruffy boy was having difficulty keeping the tub in one piece, and it looked ready to collapse.

The next scene showed Scott swipe a part from his team when they weren't looking, and quick-panned to show Scarlett and B puzzling over where the missing part was meant to go. B signaled that he'd had an idea, and disappeared into the Bass cabin. Scarlett shot a puzzled look after him, but shrugged and went to check on the rest of the campers, parts, and tools.

Alejandro, DJ, Beth, and Staci of the Gophers were shown looking between one last piece of wood and their tub, which looked poorly-built and empty but otherwise complete.

The final two scenes of the montage showed the two teams filling their tubs. Once again, the Bass showed greater coordination by forming a bucket brigade between the lake and their tub. The Gophers, on the other hand, were shown trying to deal with a sudden leak that appeared when Jo dumped a full bucket into it and ran off.

The music became tense as the scene changed to a shot of both teams standing in front of their cabins with their hot tubs, colored logos hovering above each side. Shots of Chris examining the two tubs were interspersed with close-ups of each team looking nervous. The host lingered on the Killer Bass' steaming masterpiece and threw up his arms. "_This_ is an _awesome_ hot tub!" he exclaimed, the background becoming celebratory as the Bass cheered.

"Sha-_yeah_!" Lightning said, popping out of the tub with a splash.

Chris approached the Gophers, and the music became tense again. The eleven teens gasped as Chris tapped the side of the the shoddier tub, and was squirted by a sudden new leak. The camera zoomed out to show several other jets of water spurting out from the tub, and the water level lowered quickly.

"_Well_," Chris smiled at the camera, "I _think_ we have a winner here!" He looked between the two teams one last time, and raised a hand to his left. "The Killer Bass!"

The victory music began again as the Bass cheered and the Gophers looked angry and glum. "Bass!" Chris told the winning team, "You're _safe_ from elimination _and_ you get to rock this awesome hot tub for the _rest_ of the _summer_!" He pointed directly at the camera. "_Bonus_!"

The Bass were shown cheering again.

"Screaming Gophers!" Chris turned his head to the losers, a frown on his face. "What can I say, sucks to be _you_ right now!" The disappointment was still present in the Gopher's body language, Beardo even making a 'sad trombone' stock sound effect. "I'll see your sorry butts at the bonfire tonight." The host's smile had returned.

"WOOHOO!" Geoff cheered, whipping his hat around. "We _won_, dudes! That means we're all stayin' for _three more days_!"

"I know, isn't it _great_?" Sierra added. "Take _that_, you _fake-fan_!" the tall girl spat at Topher, who huffed and turned away.

The camera cut to the next meal, starting with a shot of the entire group of campers eating and then switching to the Gophers.

"So, what now?" Sammy asked from her seat between her sister and Topher.

"We decide who to vote off, _duh_!" Amy said with a hateful smile. "Probably _you_, since it's not like you were any help in the _challenge_."

"It's not like _you_ were any better!" Jo rebuked, sitting opposite the twins with Shawn to her left, DJ and Alejandro to her right. "Of course, if _somebody_ had just let me lead the team..." the jock-ette trailed off with a look towards Alejandro.

"I merely wanted to help!" the taller teen explained. "If you choose to treat my skills and ideas as a threat to your authority, then I suppose that is your right."

Jo rolled her eyes. "Well then _Mr. Perfect_, who do _you_ think we should get rid of?"

"I...will admit that I am still undecided." Alejandro answered after a moment.

"Personally," Topher began, "_I_ think we should get rid of _you_, Jo. It's no secret what a horrible _leader_ you are." The jock-ette sneered and kicked his shin beneath the table. "_Ow_!"

"Maybe we should draw straws?" Beth suggested hesitantly.

"Are you _kidding_?" Shawn said from the other end of the table. "Who'd take _that_ risk?"

"Hey," Staci piped up, "this reminds me of my Great-Great-Great-Grandfather Eugene, who was a member of the House of Commons, yah. He's the one who invented debating an issue before voting on it. And before him was my Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Grandmother Roberta, who invented voting. Before her, large groups of people couldn't make decisions without resorting to violence."

As she blathered, she failed to notice the looks her teammates were giving her – Topher and Beardo on her sides, Alejandro and Beth across the table; even Bass members Ezekiel and Geoff looked annoyed as they passed by.

"Perhaps I _have_ made a decision..." Alejandro whispered, camera focusing on his narrowed eyes.

The scene skipped forward to the elimination ceremony; the campfire burned brightly and the clearing was lined with torches and strings of lights. The eleven members of the Screaming Gophers sat on the stumps awaiting their fate – Shawn, Jo, Staci, Sammy, and Amy had claimed the first row, with the back row occupied by Dawn, Beardo, Beth, Topher, Alejandro, and DJ.

The camera zoomed in on the back row, showing Beth, Topher, and Alejandro shooting devilishly satisfied looks at the back of a certain someone's head. The view panned to the front row, focusing on Staci and Jo.

"Next time you're in a competition, you should try _shutting up_ for a change." Jo told the girl next to her.

"Screaming Gophers." The camera cut to Chris holding a plate of marshmallows. "At camp," the camera zoomed in on the plate, "marshmallows represent a tasty treat," the camera cut to the mostly-smiling teens, "that you _enjoy_ roasting by the fire." The view went back to a serious Chris. "At _this_ camp, marshmallows represent _life_."

A cut to Alejandro faking a yawn, then winking at Amy. The cheerleader blushed and stifled a giggle. "You've all cast your votes," Chris continued in a close-up, "and made your decision. There are only _ten_ marshmallows on this plate!" Another brief close-up of the plate. "When I call your name, come up and claim your marshmallow. The camper who does _not_ receive a marshmallow tonight must immediately return to the Dock of Shame," the camera cut to the dock, the boat not yet present, "to catch the _Boat_ of _Losers_." Chris pointed to the off-screen campers. "That means, _you're_ out of the contest," another shot of the expectant campers, "and you can't come back," the campers seemed surprised, "_ever_."

Chris held up a single marshmallow. "The first marshmallow goes to...Alejandro!" The latino teen smiled, and calmly approached the host to get a marshmallow put on the stick he carried. "DJ!" Chris continued, the muscular young man grinning and getting his own bit of confection. "Amy!" was the next to be called; she stuck her tongue out at her sister before getting up. "Beth!"

"Yay!" the girl cried as she ran up to join the others.

"Topher!" the host continued.

"_Knew _it!" the wannabe said as he stepped up.

"Shawn!" the paranoid young man approached cautiously, eyes glued to the trees. "Sammy!"

"Me?" the younger twin mouthed as the realization sunk in. "Yes!" Sammy cheered, dashing to get her marshmallow and doing her best to ignore Amy's glare.

"Beardo!" the hairiest Gopher mimicked the victory tune from a certain JRPG when he got his marshmallow. "Dawn!" The petite young woman had somehow managed to approach without the host noticing, as he gave a small start when she held out her stick the moment her name was called.

The host quickly regained his groove, and the background music became consistently dramatic. "Campers," he said, the camera focusing once more on the near-empty plate, "_this_ is the final marshmallow of the evening!" The shot quickly changed between Jo and Staci, to Chris and the marshmallow, to Staci biting her nails, to the marshmallow again, to Jo looking the most nervous she'd been that day, back to Staci, back to Jo, back to Staci again, to the marshmallow, to Jo, to Staci, to Chris as the music picked up, to Jo and Staci leaning forward nervously, to the host closing his eyes and extending a finger high above his head, to the pair of campers on the proverbially chopping block, to Chris' ominous pointer finger being brought down to eye level, the point-of-view shifting behind him as he moved his finger between the two young women. He tapped his chin as the music came to a climax.

One final shot of the two stressed-out campers then back to a close-up of the host, leaning forward and peering at them with one open eye. Chris smiled, and held up the last marshmallow. "Jo."

"Darn _right_!" Jo said, regaining her composure and hiding her relief. She shot a cocky grin towards Staci as the host put the final marshmallow on Jo's stick. "Like I was even _worried_."

"Aww, and I was doing so _well,_ too..." Staci lamented.

"Yeah, not really." Chris smiled as he approached the chubby young woman. "You annoyed pretty much _everyone_ here." He gestured for Staci to get up. "Dock of Shame is _that_ way, girl!"

Staci got up and started walking, the music turning solemn as the footage skipped ahead to her walking the Dock of Shame alone.

"The rest of you!" Chris addressed the remaining Gophers at the campfire pit, smiles on their faces and marshmallows on their sticks. "Enjoy your marshmallows! You're all _safe_." The camera cut to a close-up of the host's evil smirk. "For _tonight_."

Staci was shown at the end of the dock as the Boat of Losers, driven by the Chef, arrived with a splutter.

A bout of static marked the start of a confessional. "Okay, so _maybe_ my plan didn't work _this_ time." Scott admitted, donning a devilish grin. "But it won't matter in the long run, because _I'm_ playing to _win_."

The scene cut to outside the Bass cabin, the sounds of a party in the background. Ezekiel, Bridgette, Geoff, Dakota, and Lightning were all enjoying the hot tub, and the party boy raised a glass to toast. "To the Killer Bass, dudes!" The four in the tub with him repeated the toast, and they all cheered.

"Yeah! Us Bass _rock_!" Sugar said, beginning to dance in front of the tub. None of her teammates quite knew what sort of dance it was, but it didn't stop Sierra and Sam from joining in, the three chanting "Bass rock!" over and and over again.

The scene zoomed out to show Beardo, Beth, and Jo sneaking around the revelers. Jo stopped when she noticed the camera. "Still rolling?" she asked, looking directly into the camera and earning a close-up in return. The music became ominous as Jo continued to talk. "_Good_. Because while those _rodents_ may think they've _won_," she pointed thumb over her shoulder, "a _real_ competitor knows it isn't over until there's only _one_ left standing. And _that's_ gonna be _me_." She turned her thumb to her own chest, and snarled.

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

**Author's Note - Post Script**

Well, sorry Staci fans, but she's the first one out! I knew from just about the start that Staci would have to go first - I find her the most generally annoying of the three characters to get eliminated first, all of which are in this season. Plus, you know, Beardo is still new on the scene so i want to explore his character a bit, and I kind of put Zeke on the same team as B and Scarlett without thinking about it and obviously there was no way they'd ever lose at building a hot tub. If it's any consolation to the Zeke-haters out there, he's still the same little turd he was in the canon season one.

Hopefully I managed to make the Gophers lose believably - their tub was worse than the Bass', but not as bad as the canon bass tub. I do think that the challenge took less time to complete overall than it did in canon though.

I also hope you liked my description of the shuffled opening. Some bits of it were easier to write than others, and I will say that the placement and/or prominence of characters doesn't mean anything about when they'll be eliminated. I actually only have the first four eliminations planned, and only a hint of an idea of who could potentially win.

I hope you've all enjoyed this chapter. Chapter 3 is currently scheduled to come out in 6-8 days, so look forward to it!

- Fangren


	3. Chapter 3 - The Big Sleep

**Author's Note**

Looks like everything is proceeding as planned, at least in terms of writing. Not much to say about this chapter I think; it didn't exactly write itself, the challenge is an odd one and I needed to make sure all the character actions and development were proper. I set up a few things for the future, I think, although only a few should be obvious (although I bet the rest aren't as non-obvious as I think).

With respect to the reviewers:

**80jj:** Thank you for the kudos, and even more for the suggestion! I've added some...semi-linebreaks, I guess you could call them, to the confessionals in this chapter. They aren't the big ones that allows you to put in your stories as I prefer to reserve those for major divisions, but hopefully what I have should work. If they do, I'll probably end up going back and putting them in the first two chapters as well.

**Sleep Arypsure:** Thanks again!

**Bellyacher:** Thank you! I'm glad I'm not the only one who's had this idea, now I just have to see it through to completion. Regarding the team logo thing, I did that mainly because I do want to try describing the visual effects they use in the actual show, since this is meant to be in a similar style, but I will admit that particular aspect became tedious pretty quickly. I'm probably not going to mention them again unless I feel they're significant enough, or am in need of a decent segue.

The third episode is about to start, so 'watch' and enjoy!

- Fangren

* * *

**Episode 3 – The Big Sleep**

"Last time, on Total Drama Island!" Chris began as footage from the previous two episodes started to play. "Twenty-two campers arrived and learned that they'll be spending the next eight weeks at a crusty old summer camp." Shots were shown of the campers posing for the group photo on the docks, then assembled at the campfire pit, Chris showing them the cabins, and Amy screaming at the sight of a cockroach.

"The campers were faced with their first challenge:" the host continued over a shot of the two teams on top of the cliff, "jumping off a _cliff_ into _shark_-infested waters!" The full shot of the cliff was shown, followed by footage of the sharks. "And while Dakota decided not to jump and earned herself the dreaded _chicken hat_, the combined brains of B and Scarlett meant it was the _Screaming Gophers_ who were headed to elimination." Footage of Alejandro, Beardo, and Staci falling was followed by Dakota's refusal and donning of the hat, followed by the two geniuses working on their team's hot tub.

"At the Campfire Ceremony it all came down to two campers:" Chris said over a shot of the Gophers sitting at the campfire and the bottom two looking nervous. "Jo was physically tough but also stubborn and bossy," footage of Jo yelling at DJ and arguing with Alejandro was played, "while Staci just wouldn't shut up about her fake relatives." Various shots of Staci talking and her teammates looking annoyed with her were shown.

"In the end, the first camper voted off Total Drama Island," the scene of the eliminated camper leaving the island was played, "was Staci, proving that those who tick off their teammates don't go far in reality TV." The camera cut to Chris standing on the docks. "Who will be voted off this week, in the _most_ dramatic Campfire Ceremony yet? Find out tonight, on Total! Drama! Island!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

_Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

_You guys are on my mind!_

_Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

_And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

_I wanna be...famous!_

_I wanna live close to the sun!_

_Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

_Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

_I'll get there one day._

_'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

_(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

The episode proper opened with a shot of Chris approaching the cabins, megaphone in hand. The camera zoomed in for a close-up of the host as he lifted first the megaphone, and then an air horn. He blew the horn into the megaphone with a grin, and the scene cut to the inside of one of the cabins as the loud noise rang in the background.

Alejandro woke up abruptly, hitting his head on the bunk above him and cursing in Spanish. "It's 7 am!" he angrily exclaimed, the camera cutting to the outside window as the shirtless teen ran to it and leaned out at Chris. "Why are we getting up so early?"

A flash transitioned the scene back to the common area outside the cabins. Most campers had already gotten dressed and assembled there, with a few more visibly on their way. "Morning!" Chris addressed the obviously-tired campers. "Hope you slept well!"

"Hi Chris!" Sierra said, one of the few who actually had their usual level of energy. "You look _really_ good in those shorts!"

"I _know_!" Chris answered, visibly struggling over how to take the compliment. He quickly regained his composure, though, and began to walk past the campers. "Okay! I hope you're all ready because your next challenge begins in exactly _one minute_!"

"What?!" Lightning exclaimed. "But Lightning hasn't had his _DPA_!"

His teammates gave him confused looks. "Huh?" Sam finally asked.

"Daily Protein Allotment? _Duh_!" the athlete explained.

"And _I_ haven't had enough _beauty_ sleep!" Dakota added, sunglasses hiding her eyes.

"C'mon, you look-" Sam began to tell her before she revealed the horrible bags beneath her eyes. "-GREAT _SUNS_ OF ORION!" the gamer recoiled.

Chris started to chuckle deeply. "Oh, there'll be _plenty_ of time for breakfast _and_ sleeping..." he began, wiping away a single tear as the contestants gave him questioning looks. "_Right_ after you complete your _twenty_-kilometer run _around_ the _lake_!"

"Why do I get the feeling that we'll regret doing _either_..." Alejandro muttered to Topher and DJ.

xxx

"_My_ strategy is to gain the trust of the other campers," Alejandro began from the confessional, his smile growing more sinister with each word, "learn their _weaknesses_, and pick them off, _one by one_. Some campers will prove _difficult_, of course, but I am _confident_ in my ability to manipulate others."

xxx

The campers were lined up, and had taken their starting positions. Nine were on-camera next to the host: Dakota, Sam, Lightning, Scott, Alejandro, Dawn, Jo, Shawn, and DJ. "Okay runners!" Chris called. "On your marks! Get set!" The camera focused in on the five closest to the host. "GO!" Lightning, Alejandro, and Scott took off, the gamer following after a moment.

The scene skipped ahead to the middle of the race; the sun was beating hard as the camera panned down to the campers. Lightning, Jo, Alejandro, Geoff, Sierra, and Beth were running in the lead; walking behind them were Ezekiel, Dawn, Sam, and Dakota. The camera focused on the rich girl as she furtively withdrew a cellphone from her pocket and hastily dialed a number. "Hi, it's me!" she whispered as Bridgette and Topher ran past. "Yeah, I'm on my back-up phone. Listen, we're running around the lake right now so try to get here before I get too _sweaty_, okay?"

The camera panned over to Beardo, making train noises as he ran past a struggling Sugar. "I wish he were a _real_ bus..." Sugar groaned. "Pageant queens ain't _meant_ to run!"

The scene cut back to Sam and Dakota, who had picked up their pace. "Hey, sorry about what I said earlier," Sam said. "I was just, uh, so taken by your ear lobes!"

xxx

"Ear lobes?" Sam said in the confessional, bewildered by his own words. "_Ear lobes_?"

xxx

Continuing from the challenge footage, Dakota gave her teammate a confused look. "Thanks!" she said hesitantly as she looked the gamer over, "I like your, uh...," she trailed off, unable to find something to compliment before she noticed something she actually liked.

"Dakota, over here!" called a man with an Italian accent from off-camera. "Sorriso per noi!" The camera panned up to four adult men in the basket of a hot-air balloon; all four were pointing cameras at the heiress and smiling.

"Hi guys!" Dakota smiled and waved, falling back from the group. "That mean old _Chris_ has got me running a 20K around the lake," she pouted and the paparazzi went wild, "but now that _you're_ here, you can make sure to catch me looking _good_ as I run!" She started running again, but in a rather slow and exaggerated fashion. She soon passed Sam, who had stopped when he noticed Dakota had fallen behind, and was now shooting the girl an odd look.

The photoshoot was interrupted by the sound of a motor, and soon Chris appeared on camera riding a scooter and wielding a megaphone. "Pick it _up_, people!" he shouted as he rode past Dakota, Sam, Ezekiel, Dawn, Bridgette, Topher, and Beth. "If you're not back by _dinnertime_, you don't _eat_!" The camera came in for a close-up as Chris stowed the megaphone and took out a walkie-talkie. "Hey, we got some uninvited _guests_, over!"

The scene cut to the Chef on an ATV. He stopped suddenly, and took out a large slingshot. The view switched to an over-the shoulder shot as an aiming sight appeared on the screen. It moved as the Chef moved, targeting the unaware photographers. The Chef took the shot, and his bullet pierced the trespasser's balloon, sending them flying away.

"Hey, _rude_ much?" Dakota yelled at him when she realized her shoot had been ruined.

The scene skipped ahead to the main lodge, where most of the campers – and Chris, happily filing his nails – were waiting for the last few stragglers. The normal team separation seemed to have been temporarily abandoned, as campers were by-and-large too exhausted to care for the division. The camera cut from a shot of the host to the main door, which was flung open as a heaving Ezekiel arrived. "I...I made it, eh!" he panted, stumbling the last few feet to the nearest table.

Beardo came in moments after, dripping with sweat. He tried several times to make a triumphant fanfare, but gave up and flopped to the ground near Beth and Jo.

Sam and Dakota were the last to arrive. "Why...do games...make _running..._look so _easy_?" Sam panted, barely able to walk.

"Are we _done_ yet?" Dakota asked, not taking her eyes off her phone.

"_Done_?" Lightning said, running up to the pair. "_You two_ just cost us the _challenge_, and that's all you have to _say_ for yourselves?"

"Wait, if _they_ lost the challenge.." Sammy began before getting shoved aside by her sister.

"Then that means we _won_!" Amy finished, and the Gophers began to cheer – even Beardo, who was being helped to his feet by Beth.

"Whoa there," Chris laughed as the camera cut to him shaking his head and hands, "hold your horses, guys!" He walked into the middle of the room and the shot shifted accordingly. "That wasn't the challenge!"

"_Excuse_ me?" Amy said immediately. "What do you _mean_ that wasn't the challenge?"

The camera shifted again to the as-yet-unseen wall not included in the usual cafeteria shot. Chris stepped in front of some purple curtains and at his gesture they were drawn back. "Who's _hungry_?" he said as an angelic chorus played in the background; hidden behind the curtain, and expertly back-lit so that it appeared to sparkle and glow, was a turkey buffet.

Static began a pair of confessionals.

xxx

"After several days of forcing down Chef's _wretched_ excuse for food," Alejandro said, "the sight of such an _exquisite_ meal nearly brought me to _tears_."

xxx

"That was one a' the most _beautiful_ buffets I've ever seen!" Sugar said in her turn. "It looked like an _ad_ fer Thanksgivin'!"

xxx

The scene skipped ahead, panning across the aftermath of the meal. Only a few scraps of food were left, and the groans that played over the shot implied that the bellies of several campers were full to bursting. The shot zoomed out to show Sierra, Sugar, Lightning, Jo, DJ, Alejandro, Beth, and Amy gathered around the remains, noticeably bloated. Chris hopped on to the table, megaphone in hand and grin on his face. "Okay campers! Time for part _two_ of your challenge!"

"Wasn't that just eatin'?" Sugar asked.

"What more do you _want_ from us?" Alejandro added.

"Bring it on, McClean!" Jo said, sounding more eager than she looked.

"Oh, I _will_." Chris answered the jock-ette. "It's time for..." he announced, "the _Awake-a-Thon_!"

"The _What_-a-Thon?" Beth asked, still woozy from her meal.

"Don't worry!" Chris answered, hopping down to the floor. "This is an easy one! The team with the last camper standing wins invincibility!"

"So the twenty-kilometer run and the turkey buffet were meant to make it harder for us to _stay awake_?" Alejandro asked.

"Exactamundo, bro!" Chris answered.

"Ooh, heehee, you're _good_..." Sierra told the host, ending with a burp.

"Move! Move! Move!" Chris said into his megaphone, the point-of-view shifting to show all the campers as they reluctantly headed for the door.

"So how long do you think it'll be before everyone's asleep?" Beth asked her teammate as the other filed past them.

"Not long, I hope." Alejandro told the shorter camper. "I'd _rather_ not miss any more sleep than necessary."

Dakota walked past them, happily about to engage her back-up cellphone. The camera panned over to see Chris waiting for her, and he snatched the device away from the girl as soon as it was within reach. "_I'll_ be taking that!" he smiled, whistling to himself as he walked away. Dakota just groaned, and plodded out of the lodge.

Alejandro, who had yet to leave the cafeteria, smiled devilishly at the tall blonde.

The sun was shown rising high into the sky as the scene transitioned to later in the challenge; it was accompanied by a timer at the top of the screen which implied twelve hours had passed. This was, of course, despite the fact that the sun would have set if half a day had really passed since the buffet had ended.

The shot panned down to show the campers gathered at the campfire pit, separated by team thanks to some added seating. "We are now twelve hours in," Chris' voice-over lied softly, "with all twenty-one campers _still _wide awake." The camera panned over the Screaming Gophers; all members except Shawn were shown, and all of them had large bags under their eyes.

Alejandro sighed, and stood up. He stretched his arms and upper body, earning quite a few adoring glances from the other campers, and began walking around the clearing. He paused to stretch again near the Bass. "I apologize for the distraction," he told them, "but I am feeling restless. All of this sleep deprivation is making me anxious; it would be a _shame_ to sacrifice my good looks for the sake of a win." He locked eyes with Dakota. "Certainly, some of you feel the same?" He winked, she blushed.

Only Scarlett and Scott seemed to show any suspicion as the attractive young man began walking again.

xxx

"Man, the Awake-A-Thon was _brutal_." Sam said, looking surprisingly well-rested in the outhouse. "All that sleep deprivation comboed with a couple days without games gave me the worst de-buff _ever_."

xxx

The camera cut back to the challenge, focusing on Sam sitting next to a depressed-looking Dakota. The point-of-view shifted to the gamer's perspective, looking at the heiress and seeing her blur and pixellate into a game sprite version of herself. The view shifted back to Sam's front, showing him gasp and shake his head. He looked at the mournful Dakota again and sighed. "You know, Dakota, we're kinda similar, y'know?"

Dakota slowly turned her head and blinked at the larger boy. "...what? How could you _say_ that?" she said once she'd registered the comment and had offense temporarily overcome exhaustion.

"No, I mean," Sam hastily explained, "we're both pretty dependent on our tech. Your cellphone and my video games, that is. Trust me, we have, like, _nothing_ in common otherwise."

The rich girl shot him a tired smile. "_Aww_, thanks!" She sighed. "You're right, though, I _really_ miss my phone. I could have sent, like, a _thousand_ texts by now! Doing this challenge would be _way_ easier if it weren't for that stupid _Chris_."

Sam opened his mouth to say something, but Dakota kept talking. "And _now_ I have to worry about losing my _looks_, too? How am I gonna get _through_ this?" Her shoulders slumped.

The camera gave Sam a close-up. "Hey, now, don't say that. How about we help _each other_ get-" His words of encouragement were paused when he felt a weight on his arm and shoulder. Looking down and to his right, he saw that Dakota had fallen asleep. He blushed and looked around wildly, utterly unsure of what to do but not willing to disturb his teammate's rest.

A bell sounded, and a scoreboard showing the two team logos and the number of campers still awake appeared on the bottom of the screen. The Bass' score rolled down to ten.

xxx

"Despite my physical dominance," Jo confessed, "I'm gonna need to keep a couple of my so-called 'teammates' loyal." She rolled her eyes. "It's just a matter of finding a couple of weak-willed _patsies_ who'll do whatever I _say_!"

xxx

The camera cut to Beardo, who was doing impressions of animals to the amusement of Beth. "_Oh_, that sounds _just like_ the pigs back home!" she lisped eagerly. "Do a _goat_ next!"

The hairy teen nodded, and the camera cut to a smirking Jo. "Hey, Braces! Beatbox Guy! Can I talk to you for a minute?" she barked. Beth and Beardo shrugged and started to get up.

The shot flash-transitioned to a close-up of Jo standing a little ways away from the other campers. "Hey, so, uh, sorry if I've been a bit _aggressive_ the past few days," Jo began, looking oddly sheepish. "But nearly getting kicked off _first_ has made me rethink a few things." The shot zoomed out to show the other pair of teens walking up to her. "The point is, I've come up with a way to get me and two other people to the end of the game, and I picked the two of _you_ to take with me."

Beth and Beardo grinned, the latter also making the 'cha-ching' of a vintage cash register opening.

"Of course, we need to keep this between the three of us," Jo continued, "so I'm trusting you two not to blab to the _others_. Do that and follow my _orders_, and I _guarantee_ we'll make it to the Final Three. _Got it_?" Beth and Beardo nodded eagerly.

xxx

It was Beth's turn to use the confessional. "Oh! My! _Gosh_! Jo is taking _me_ to the Final Three! I'm going to the Final Three, I'm going to the Final Three!" 'The Wannabe' paused her squealing and gave the confession cam a questioning look. "I wonder what will happen then?"

xxx

Beardo's confessional was shown next. "An alliance with _Jo_? I don't know..." He scratched the back of his head. "But if it helps me open up and get over my shyness, then why not?"

xxx

The scene skipped ahead to night, the on-screen timer erroneously marking it as twenty-four hours since the start of the challenge. The camera zoomed in from a view of the entire island and showed a few shots from around the campfire. Bridgette was sleeping with Geoff nearby and barely holding on; Topher had dozed off as well. A shot of the rest of the Gophers revealed that nine were still hanging on, and the scoreboard reflected that; a pan over to the Bass showed them in a similar position, if technically behind.

The only camper who didn't seem to be having trouble was Shawn, who if anything looked more alert than ever. He kept darting and rolling around the clearing, disappearing behind one camper only to reappear somewhere else on-camera. He stopped to nervously chew his nails before the camera stopped following him.

"Congratulations, campers!" Chris announced, the camera switching to his close-up. "You've made it to the twenty-four hour mark! Time to take things _up_ a notch!" The shot zoomed out to reveal the host standing next to a large object covered in a sheet, as well as the Chef. The giant man was dressed in, of all things, a light pink sheep costume, and carried a small harp.

"Fairy tales!" the host said, pulling back the sheet to reveal a pile of books.

"How old do you think we are, _four_?" Scott remarked.

Chris cleared his throat, and the camera switched back to him as Chef began to strum. "Once...upon a time..." Chris began slowly and softly. "There was...inside this boring kingdom..." Chef was shown scowling at an off-screen snickerer, and Beth was shown yawning. "...a boring village. And inside this boring, sleepy, village...filled with, very boring children..." Geoff was shown trying not to fall asleep, as was Sam who still had Dakota leaning against him.

As the gamer began to close his eyes, the scene rippled to a shot of a harp standing alone on a starlit forest trail. Chris' voice faded and was replaced by dream-like background music as sheep started to enter from stage left. One by one the small pink animals jumped over the harp, but the fifth to jump was in fact the costumed Chef. At the height of the man's jump the sound of a fart was played, and the scene abruptly cut back to Sam. The sound of his own gas had jolted him back awake, and he looked around nervously.

The next shot was that of Jo, Beth, and Beardo sitting together as the 'Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy' began to play. The camera panned up to show Chef, now in a ballerina's tutu, jumping across the full moon. He left a trail of glitter as he went, and after landing and dancing off stage right the effects of his performance were shown. First was Geoff, Lightning, and Scarlett of the Bass, getting showered in glitter and immediately yawning. Chef's dance continued, with Gophers Alejandro and Jo hit next; they yawned just as their opponents had.

DJ was shown tying himself to a tree, but he too was hit by Chef's fairy dust and began to yawn. He quickly fell asleep, and his weight caused the pine's he roped himself to to fall over. As a squirrel looked upon his sleeping frame, a bell sounded and the scoreboard updated – nine for the Bass, eight for the Gophers.

"_Tim-ber_!" Scott said snidely, stifling another yawn.

The footage skipped ahead to the increasingly-inaccurate timer's fourty-hour mark. The shot was taken from behind the campers so that most of them could only be made out by their silhouettes; most distinctive were Sugar standing proud and Lightning doing push-ups by the fire.

xxx

"What can I say? I figured if I kept movin' there was no _way_ I'd fall asleep!" Lightning said amongst the flies, looking proud of himself.

xxx

The point-of-view changed back to in front of the campers, and the Bass were shown to only have five campers left standing – Scott, Geoff, and Scarlett with their team's main group, with Lightning and Sugar revealed as the camera panned left. On the Gopher side, the non-sleeping campers included Jo, Alejandro, Dawn, Amy and Sammy, and a still-roaming Shawn.

The camera focused on the trio of blondes as the meanest slumped forward and the bell signaled her fall. "Well, I guess she _does_ always do stuff before me..." Sammy chuckled weakly. She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to she Dawn peering at her.

"You know," the odd young woman said, "you mustn't take everything your sister says about you to heart. You are your _own_ person, and aside from your physical appearance you and your sister are _nothing_ alike."

"_Well_, I know, but that doesn't change the fact that she's better than me." Sammy sighed, looking down at her sleeping sister. "_Amy_ always gets picked first, and _Amy_ wins all the awards, and _Amy's_ the one everyone _likes_..."

"That's only because her need to stand out has _consumed_ her!" Dawn explained. "It's _twisted_ her so much that she's become willing to do _anything_ to make you less important than herself."

"That's...I...how...?" Sammy stuttered, shrinking away from Dawn's gaze.

"It's all in her aura," Dawn explained, "and yours too." Sammy's expression changed to a mixture of horror and sadness, prompting the smaller camper to place a hand on the cheerleader's. "Don't worry, though, yours is _much_ prettier than Amy's. I can tell that what you want more than anything is to be free from her!"

xxx

"I'm not gonna lie, Dawn is _kinda_ creepy." Sammy slumped her head to the side and lifted it back up, revealing a small smile – and blush. "But she _did_ say I was prettier than Amy. Well, my _aura_ at least."

xxx

Another static-transition put the scene back at the challenge. The focus was on Shawn and Chris, as the teen darted around the host. "You okay dude?" Chris asked out of idle curiosity.

"Of course!" Shawn replied immediately. "Just gotta stay _alert_ and _on-guard_ if I have to stay on the ground tonight. Never know when a _zombie_ might lurch out of the darkness!"

Chris looked at the camera and shrugged. "Whatever floats your boat, man_._"

The scene flashed back to the full view of the moonlit isle; the timer read fifty-one hours. A zoom-cut showed a sleeping Geoff, but he blinked awake when he heard Lightning talking nearby. "Man, how does she _do_ it!" the athlete said via voice-over, the shot switching to a close-up of Sugar. She was standing straight up and her eyes were wide open. "Girl hasn't moved in _ages_!"

The blonde farted, thoroughly destroying the sense of awe about her. Then to the shock of all who were watching, she opened her eyes.

"Hey, those eyes are painted on!" Jo accused. "I _saw_ it!"

"_Shut. Up_." Chris said, astounded. "Oh, I've _got_ to see this!" The host ran over to Sugar and the camera focused on them looking at each other; the host gazing closely at the thick white make-up on the girl's eyelids, and the pageant queen still catching up to the fact that she'd been caught.

"What? I-I was awake the whole time, I _swear_!" Sugar tried to defend.

"Okay, that was freakin' _cool_," Chris told her, awe turning to seriousness, "but you were _totally_ asleep, and you're _totally_ out."

"Aww, _fiddlesticks_." Sugar snapped her fingers as the Bass' score appeared and dinged down to three.

As the defeated young woman walked back to her team, the camera focused on a weary-looking Scarlett sitting between Lightning and Scott.

"Listen please," she whispered to them, "because I doubt I'll be able to say this more than once." The boys leaned in obligingly. "Of our remaining opponents," the point-of-view rotated behind her so that the three Gophers still awake could be seen, "Shawn is likely to be the most difficult to beat in this particular challenge. Jo and Alejandro are currently showing a level of sleep deprivation approximately equal to our own, while Shawn's overall level of activity has decreased by an amount I am currently unable to calculate due to sleep deprivation-induced cognitive impairment, but which is _certainly_ less than my own."

The two boys blinked wearily, looked at each other and shrugged. Scarlett sighed. "Shawn is probably going to be the last one to fall asleep unless one of you does something about it."

"Pfft, leave it to Lightning!" the jock proclaimed. "I may be sore, but I'll _still_ be the last one awake!"

Scarlett blinked and stood up. "Very well then. I've reached my limit, so good night." She took a step forward and laid down on the ground. She was out in moments.

As the scoreboard dinged again, the camera panned up to the night sky. The timer sped up alongside a time-lapse of the sky; it finally rested on eighty-five hours as the sun rose for a second time. A few clips of the campers waking up were shown; first was Scott cackling as he scribbled on Ezekiel's forehead with a marker, then Sammy and Dawn waking up next to each other, and lastly was a close-up of Sierra curled up like a cat on top of B's stomach – both looked alarmed at how they'd been sleeping.

The scene flashed again, focusing on the remaining trio of Gophers – Jo and Alejandro hunched over, Shawn still jittery. "Oh man, this is startin' to _get_ to me!" Shawn said as the camera focused on him.

"What is the _matter_ with you people?" Chris said, coffee in hand and looking good. He took a sip. "Come _on_, fall _asleep_ already!"

"I don't suppose you'd like to share?" Alejandro asked, eying the host's steaming drink.

Chris just raised an eyebrow and continued. "Alright. You five stay with me," the shot zoomed out to show the last five standing – Jo, Shawn, Alejandro, Lightning, and Scott – approaching the host, "the rest of you get a shower for _heaven's sake_! You _stink_!"

A shot of B, Geoff, Ezekiel, and Bridgette was shown. "Got it, eh!" the homeschooler said before walking away, not noticing his teammate's snickers or the scribbles on his forehead.

Chris took another sip of coffee, and the music turned ominous. "I didn't want it to _come_ to this," he said, the camera slowly zooming in on his face. "I said that to Chef Hatchet last night, I said 'Chef? I don't want it to come to this!' But _darn_ it, these campers are _tough_! And so, I've come up with the most _boring_, _sleep-inducing_ activity, I can _find_."

xxx

"Please, I can take _whatever_ he dishes out!" Jo said atop the outhouse toilet. "I mean, how _hard_ can it _be_?"

xxx

The footage cut back to a smiling Chris, the camera rapidly zooming out to show him holding a large hardcover book. "The _History_ of _Canada_," he announced in a dull tone, "A _Pop-up_ Book, Chapter One." He opened the book, and an image of a beaver and a few birch logs popped out. "The Beaver. National symbol, and a 'dam' fine hat." He made air quotes around his pun as the last five campers, now sitting in a single row of stumps, groaned.

The scene cut to another part of the campgrounds, and panned over to show a group of beavers tail-slapping a group of logs they'd felled. The camera zoomed out until they were well in the background, and the focus of the scene switched to Sam as he walked back to the cabins. He was carrying Dakota bridal style, and the sounds of movement around her finally caused her to stir.

"Unnnhhh...where _am_ I? She moaned sleepily.

"Oh, good morning Dakota!" Sam said, looking down at her and smiling. "Chris said we could go back to the cabins, but I didn't want to disturb your beauty sleep, so I figured I'd just _carry_ you back."

"Aww, thanks!" Dakota giggled. "You're such a _gentleman_." Sam blushed, and the footage skipped ahead.

The timer had reached eighty-seven hours and Chris was still droning on. "...which of _course_, was the precursor for the _discussions_," both Lightning and Alejandro were shown to have fallen asleep, "leading to the _War_ of _1812_."

The scoreboard updated to show 2-1 in favor of the Screaming Gophers as the focus shifted to those two campers. Shawn raised his eyebrows as Jo finally toppled forward. "You know, if I didn't know what was happening, I'd probably be freaking out right now." he told the camera as his teammate landed with a thud and the scoreboard updated once again.

The scene flashed back to Chris smiling behind his oil-drum-podium. "Time for a bathroom break!" he announced. "Any takers?"

Scott looked around at the three sleeping campers and still-wide-awake Shawn. "Might as well," the redhead shrugged and stood up. "You comin'?" he asked his sole remaining competition.

"Uh, no thanks." Shawn answered, looking slightly suspicious.

"Suit yourself." Scott shrugged again, and walked away.

"You've got _five_ minutes," Chris said as Scott passed him by, "as long as you don't mind a little _company_."

Scott looked over his shoulder and sneered at the person behind the camera. "As long as _you_ don't try to look in the _stall_." The camera's view moved up and down, signaling it's holder's assent.

The shot cut back to Shawn. "You can do this, just a little bit more," he told himself. "This is something you've _trained_ for."

The point-of-view changed to the outside of a bathroom stall. "Scott! You in there, man?" a male voice called, presumably the person doing the filming. The stall door swung open and Scott fell forward, pants down and dead asleep.

Chris was subsequently shown waiting and bored at his podium, and was handed a note from someone off-screen. He smiled when he read it. "And we have _news_! It looks like Scott's taken a _dive_ on the can! Which means," he held the note high, "the _official_ winner of the 'Awake-a-Thon' _is_!"

A clip of the only remaining camper falling to his knees was shown, finally showing the effects of exhaustion. "Shawn!" the host announced to triumphant music, reaching down and holding the boy's hand up. "The Screaming Gophers win!" The Gopher's scoreboard flashed and dinged, signaling the end of the challenge.

Footage cut over to the front of the Killer Bass' cabin, where most of the team had gathered. "Man, I can't believe we lost." Geoff lamented.

"I recall _warning_ the team about Shawn's above-average ability to resist sleep deprivation before I myself fell asleep," Scarlett said through bleary eyes. "Did either of you _act_ on that warning?" she stared at the pair who'd lasted longer than her.

"Don't look at _me_!" Lightning said immediately. "_Lightning_ doesn't come up with plays, he just performs them _flawlessly_!"

The group's gaze turned to Scott. "Hey, it's not like any of _you_ did any better!" he quickly waved off.

xxx

"My plan worked _perfectly_," Scott laughed in the confessional. "All I had to do was be the _last_ member of my team and I could end the challenge _any_ time I _wanted_! I kinda wish it had been _after_ I finished on the toilet," he scratched the back of his head, grin fading for a moment, "But as long as I put up a good show, _nobody_ would think to question it!"

xxx

The shot switched back to Scarlett's close-up. "Very well then." she told Lightning and Scott. "I suppose I _won't_ blame you for failing to meet my expectations."

"Well, we still gotta figure out who ta vote off!" Sugar interjected.

"Personally, _I_ nominate Dakota." Scott proposed with false solemnity. "She's been useless in both challenges so far, and is _really_ only in this so she can be on _camera_."

"It breaks my _heart_," Sugar added with feigned sadness, "but I'm gonna hafta second that."

"Now hold on," Sam said with a hint of anger. "_Sure_, she didn't jump off the cliff, and she was the first to fall asleep, and she's easily distracted, but that doesn't make her _useless_! I'm sure there's _loads_ of stuff she's good at if we just give her a _chance_!"

Scott snorted. "Oh _please_, you just want her around for her _looks_."

Sam frowned. "Well she _is_ a tenth-level hottie, but that doesn't make her any less of a _person_! She cares just as much about the competition as anyone else!"

The team's attention was pulled to the door to the girls' side as it slammed open. Dakota emerged, smiling at the camera. She started to look upset when she turned to the other Bass. "Hey everyone! I'm _soooo_ sorry that we lost the challenge, aren't you? I just wish I could have-" she paused, sadness immediately fading, and took out a compact. She spent a few seconds checking her make-up, then put the compact away and looked back at the camera. "Okay, take two!" she told the camera, donning another expression of sadness. The scene panned out to show the annoyed expressions of her team.

The scene skipped ahead to the next night, and the elimination ceremony. Chris was shown walking towards the Killer Bass with a plate of marshmallows, the camera zooming in to Sam and Dakota sitting on the end.

"You've all cast your votes and made your decision," Chris said holding the plate in both hands. "There are only _ten_ marshmallows on this plate." The camera got a close-up of the marshmallows before switching back to the host. "When I call your name, come up and claim your marshmallow." The scene panned over the eleven teens, most still visibly tired. "The camper who does _not_ receive a marshmallow, must _immediately_ return to the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers, and leave." The camera zoomed out to show the whole group. "And you can never come back, _ever_."

"The first marshmallow goes to Scott!" Chris said, the devious redhead getting a close-up before his hand was shown picking a marshmallow off the plate. "Bridgette!" the surfer stood up and went to grab her treat as well. "Lightning!" the host announced next.

"Sha-score!" Lightning cheered, dashing forward.

"Ezekiel!" Chris continued as the homeschooler was shown wiping the sweat off his brow. "Scarlett!" the host shot a grin at the young woman as she donned a smirk of her own. "B!" the silent one gave the host a thumbs up as he retrieved his treat. "Geoff!" the party boy was shown walking off-screen, returning quickly and tossing his marshmallow into his mouth. "Sugar!" Chris looked up to see the girl already reaching for her prize. "Sierra." the tall girl squealed when her name was called, rushing forward and giving the host a hug before snatching her marshmallow.

"Campers, this _is_ the final marshmallow of the evening!" Chris announced, pointing at the sole remaining bit of white on the plate.

"What?!" Dakota gasped as she filed her nails. She looked over at Sam, who gulped.

Shots began to alternate between the two nervous campers, the smiling host, and the final marshmallow as the music began to build.

"Sam!" the host finally announced, raising his hand to the gamer.

"NOOO!" Dakota shouted. "This _has_ to be a _mistake_!" Sam looked sheepishly between the marshmallow Chris was now offering him and the blonde. "_I_ didn't get my _spin-off_ series yet!"

"Too bad!" Chris told her. "The Dock of Shame _awaits_!"

"NOOO!" Dakota screamed again, running in the opposite direction of the dock. The camera zoomed in on her as she ran with no regard to where she was going, and showed her bumping into a large mass that was revealed to be a grinning Chef.

Two final confessionals were shown.

xxx

"Man, I can't believe Dakota's _gone_!" Sam lamented, rubbing the back of his head. The Killer Bass logo was shown in the upper right corner. "I was ready to repeatedly ask her out and get turned down all _season_!"

xxx

The team logo in the corner changed to that of the Screaming Gophers. "Not my _greatest_ work, I will admit – Dakota was _hardly_ instrumental in her team's loss," Alejandro began with a smile, "but I'm glad my little _push_ was enough to get her voted off. She was never a _threat_, of course, but having one less person on their team will make the _rest_ easier to bend to my will."

xxx

The shot cut back to Chef carrying Dakota over his shoulder down the Dock of Shame.

"You can't _do_ this to me!" she yelled, furiously pounding on Chef's back. "I _demand_ more screen time!"

Chef chuckled as he threw her on the Boat of Losers. As the boat began to speed off, the camera zoomed in on Dakota as she sulked. She noticed the camera, and lit up.

"Oh wait, you're _filming_ this?" she said, excitedly checking her make-up in her compact before smiling for the camera. "Looks like I've hit a little _snag_, Dakota fans. But don't worry, this won't be the last you've seen of _me_, especially now that I've got _this_ back!" She pulled out her cellphone, and winked at the camera.

The scene began to iris wipe, before halting suddenly and panning over to Chef in the bridge. "You aren't just gonna call those _photographers_ again, are ya?"

The camera panned back to Dakota, who was struggling to hold her smile and wink. "_No_," she told him, finally looking away from the camera. "If you want to know what I have planned, you'll just have to wait and see!" She smiled and winked at the camera again, and the iris wipe finally completed.

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

**Author's Note - Post Script**

I am personally of the opinion that the 'Awake-a-Thon' was basically a glorified all-nighter even in canon; the timer is clearly wrong and the footage is consistent with there only having been one night. At most, the campers were awake for about a day.

Dakota already said most of what I have to say regarding her elimination. Hopefully I did it (and _her_) justice. The single line of Italian used by the photographer is, as close as I can tell, the same as what he used in canon: 'Smile for us!" in google translate, so I cannot say how accurate it is.

I'm somewhat more concerned with my handling of the villains. Alejandro in particular hasn't had the opportunity yet to get his full groove on, what with the general lack of private access to members of the opposing team. Sugar has also been somewhat of a pain, as I'm not sure I've gotten her character quite down - there's so much I know I'd like to do with her, but I'm not sure how to express it. Well, I'm sure I'll figure it out when I need to.

From now on, I will be appending a list of eliminated contestants and their places after the Post Script.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and await the next installment in an estimated 6-8 days.

- Fangren

* * *

**Appendix: TSI Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (22nd Place)

Dakota - (21st Place)


	4. Chapter 4 - Dodgebrawl

**Author's Note**

A bit later than I wanted to get this one out, but Chapter 5 was an oddly hard one to get going. This one sort of was as well despite being the shortest yet, what with having to choreograph five rounds of dodgeball. Still, I quite like how it turned out, and I hope you all do too.

With respect to the reviewers:

**80jj:** Yup! I did all the randomizing at the same time, so the new contestants appearing in World Tour, Revenge of the Island, and Pahkitew Island have already been decided. I've also mostly figured out who will be returning for Action, World Tour, and All-Stars. I have not, however, figured out who is actually going to win (or get runner-up).

**Madison Wooten**: Thanks! I probably would have liked it too, even if it is a bit heavy on the villains.

**Bellyacher & Sleep Arypsure:** Thank you both as always!

Once again, sit back and enjoy the episode!

- Fangren

* * *

**Episode 4 – Dodgebrawl**

"Last time, on Total Drama Island!" Chris opened as scenes from the previous episode were shown, beginning with a pan downwards from the sun to the campers running. "The Screaming Gophers kicked _butt_ in the Awake-a-Thon when Scott took a dive on the can," the redhead was shown falling out of the stall, "and the Killer Bass suffered their first loss of the game." A clip of the Gophers cheering was shown, followed by a few clips of Dakota posing for her summoned photographers and falling asleep on Sam's shoulder.

"Jo started the _first_ Total Drama alliance by convincing Beardo and Beth to join forces with her," the host continued over footage of the three campers talking to each other, "while Alejandro began working his charms on the Bass, starting with Dakota." The clip of Alejandro talking to the Bass and winking at Dakota was shown. "All the while, Scott continued to sabotage his own team." The schemer's confessional was played alongside him smirking as he went to the bathroom.

"And despite Sam's efforts to defend his crush," the gamer was shown talking with his team after the challenge, "in the end, Dakota's fame-mongering and uselessness in challenges got her kicked off." Footage of the blonde appearing on her team's front porch was followed by her failed attempt to escape her elimination. "She became the _second_ camper to _rock_ the Boat of Losers." The recap finished by showing Dakota being driven off on the boat, winking at the camera.

"Whose plans will be discovered first?" Chris said as the camera cut to him walking up the dock. "Will Shawn be able to stay awake until the end of the episode? And who will take the _next_ humiliating walk down the _Dock_ of _Shame_? Stay tuned for the _most_ dramatic Campfire ceremony yet, on, Total! Drama! Island!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

_Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

_You guys are on my mind!_

_Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

_And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

_I wanna be...famous!_

_I wanna live close to the sun!_

_Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

_Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

_I'll get there one day._

_'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

_(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

The episode opened with an exterior shot of the communal bathroom, before cutting to inside. Ezekiel and Alejandro were the only two campers on-screen, both dressed yet still freshening up. As the toque-wearer brushed his teeth and the tall charmer styled his hair, Alejandro struck up a conversation.

"So amigo, how have you been doing?" he asked as the camera focused on him alone. "This show is much different from what you're used to, correct?"

The camera panned over to Ezekiel. He spat out a bit of foam and toothpaste, and shrugged. "Dunno. Guess I'm still gettin' used to everything."

"Anything in particular?" Alejandro asked with a smile. "I don't mean to _pry_, of course, but it pains me to see someone in need of help."

"I guess it's mostly just my teammates, eh." Ezekiel answered after a bit of thought. "I just don't _get_ 'em, and not just because I don't understand aboot half the stuff they say. Like how B never talks, or Sierra's obsession with Chris, or how Scarlett is, like, _super_ smart even though she's a _girl_."

Alejandro raised an eyebrow at the third comment. "Yes, I can see how that might be troubling." He finished styling his hair, and looked himself over in the mirror. "Scarlett and Sierra especially. Being of the fairer sex, they are naturally..._weaker_...in some ways, and it is our duty to _protect_ the weak is it not? But that aside, you should try asking your teammates about themselves when you get the chance. I find that people reveal a _considerable_ amount about themselves if you ask the right way."

Ezekiel nodded. "Yeah, that's pretty much what my Dad says too" Finished with his teeth, he started to walk out the door. "Hey, thanks for the advice! You're pretty nice even though we're on different _teams_ an' all."

"No problem. In a way, I am _envious_ of your team's obvious physical superiority, what with having one fewer girl and several _obviously_ gifted young men." Alejandro said, his smirk turning dark when the other boy could no longer see. Then he shuddered in disgust as he caught a glimpse of Ezekiel sticking a finger up his nose.

xxx

"For the record, I do _not_ agree with the idea of men being better than women." Alejandro said from the outhouse confessional. "I simply pretended to do so in hopes of encouraging him to voice such opinions, and act upon them." He tapped his chin and looked thoughtful as he continued. "It's somewhat of a long-shot, but if he takes it upon himself to protect those that do not need protecting, and voices his beliefs about women, he should evoke the ire of his team."

xxx

The scene cut to the cafeteria where all twenty teenagers were eating breakfast; aside from the two who had stayed awake the longest, all seemed well-rested. The camera focused on Jo, Beth, and Beardo, who sat together on one end of the Gopher table. "Let's go over the rules one more time," the jock-ette commanded in a whisper. "First rule: _I'm_ in charge, so _I_ make the rules. Second rule...?" she trailed off.

Beth and Beardo thought for a moment before the young woman responded. "Follow the plan during challenges and votes, and don't cause us to lose?"

"Right," Jo smirked. "And third: break the rules, and you're out of the alliance. Any questions?" Beth and Beardo shook their heads.

"Hey there campers!" Chris said with his usual cheer as he entered the shot of both teams. "Good to see you've all rested up!" The camera focused on the still-exhausted visage of Scott, and the not-as-tired Shawn. "Well, _most_ of you anyway. But I hope the rest of you are prepared to _bring it_, because your next challenge is in _ten minutes_!"

The footage skipped ahead to a distance shot of the campers, Chris, and Chef Hatchet inside a large glass box on the beach. Inside the box was a simple playing field – two adjacent rectangles marked by red tape – tiered seating, and the team banners with the Gophers on the left and Bass on the right. Scott was the last person to enter.

"Uggh...how the heck are you not on the _floor_?" he spat at Shawn after stumbling over to his team.

Shawn shrugged. "I sleep in a _tree_, dude," he answered as he picked a leaf out of hit hat. "I can handle a little sleep loss."

"Well _lucky you_." Scott sneered.

A whistle blew, and the camera panned over to reveal the source: Chef Hatchet in a referee's uniform. He walked across the court and past the campers, silently shaking his head and giving them looks of disgust. He finally stopped next to Chris and a pile of red balls.

"Today's challenge is the _classic_ game of dodgeball," the host explained, holding up one of the balls for the campers to see. "The first rule of dodgeball is: _if_ you get hit with the _ball_," he spun the ball in his hands and shot it at Sammy, "you're _out_."

"Oww..." Sammy moaned as the ball slammed into her stomach. To the laughs of her sister she keeled over, the ball falling to the ground.

"Nice _throw_, Chris!" Topher complimented, picking up the errant orb and tossing it back to the host. He gave no notice of the glares sent his way by DJ and Dawn.

"Thanks Topher." Chris said as he easily caught the ball. "Now as I was saying, if you _catch_ the ball, the _thrower_ gets sent out and the _catcher_ gets to bring in another team member out on the court."

"Nice catch, Chris!"Sierra blurted out.

"Thanks?" the host said with an eyebrow raised. "It wasn't _hard_ or anything, but whatever. Let's see now..." he muttered, looking over the campers as he readied a one-handed throw. "Lightning! Try to hit me!"

"Sha-yeah!" Lightning cheered, catching the ball as Chris was handed a replacement.

"If you're _holding_ a ball, you can use it to _deflect_ a ball, _but_," the host explained, purposely dropping the ball in his hands, "if it knocks the ball out of your hands, you're _out_."

The camera cut over to Amy, who moved her devious smile from her fallen sister to the host. "So, remind us again what we're supposed to do when the ball comes _flying_ at us?"

Lightning's throw was finally shown, and Chris managed to swiftly deflect it with a third ball. "You _dodge_!" The camera followed the speeding ball back to the twins; Amy quickly put her sister in its path. It hit her in the chest this time.

"Oooh," Chris winced, "you were _supposed_ to _dodge_!"

"Hey, you okay?" DJ asked, stooping over and giving her his hand.

"I'll be fine..." Sammy started to blush as she was helped to her feet, but the pain caught back up and made her wince.

"You have one minute until game time!" Chris continued, camera back on him and Chef for a moment before panning over to the campers. "Both teams will have to pick five people to sit out at the start."

The scene flashed to Lightning in a huddle with the rest of the Killer Bass "Alright team, we gotta put our _best_ people forward, so who's goin' out there with me?"

"I've got your back, dude!" Geoff answered, putting his hand on the athlete's shoulder.

"Ooh! Pick me! Pick _me_!" Sierra raised her hand excitedly.

The music picked up, and the shot switched to Chef Hatchet overseeing the court. Both teams had put forth their first players: Lightning, Geoff, and Sierra were joined by B and Bridgette for the Bass, while the Gophers had put forward DJ, Beth, Beardo, Jo, and Amy. Each team had three balls in their half of the court, and the rest of the campers had already taken seats in the background.

"You and the other little fishies are going _down_, Jockstrap!" Jo shot towards Lightning.

"Dude, _please_," Lightning countered, "that squad a' _losers_ don't stand a _chance_!"

"Both teams ready!" Chris announced over more shots of the two teams shooting looks across the court. "Best of five games wins! _Now_," the camera cut to his close-up before zooming out to show the full court, "let's _dooooodge_ some _ball_!"

Chef blew his whistle, and the benched campers cheered. The first match had begun.

Lightning, Geoff, and Sierra picked up balls for the Bass, staring at their opposites Jo, Beth, and Beardo. "Sha-_bring it_!" Lightning cried as he made the first throw; it shot towards Jo but she dodged and returned fire. The Bass scattered, and Geoff took a shot at Beardo. Had the hairy teen not decided to run in a slow and exaggerated manner with the accompanying sound effects, he may have avoided the hit.

He fell to the ground and the camera cut to Chef blowing his whistle and signaling for Beardo to leave the field. A scoreboard appeared along the bottom of the screen showing 4-5 in favor of the Killer Bass. The Bass on the benches began to cheer again while Jo glared at her alliance-mate.

"Let _me_ show you how it's done!" Amy smirked, stepping forward and chucking a ball at Bridgette. The surfer dodged it easily, and Sierra's swift counter-attack hit the cheerleader straight in the forehead.

Chef blew the whistle again, and the scoreboard updated. "Uggh, watch the _head_, you _freak_." Amy said as she stomped off the court rubbing her new lump. Sierra blew her a raspberry, and the game continued with her immediately getting beaned in the head by Jo.

"Hah! Blow on _that_!" Jo exclaimed, and the Gophers cheered for their first hit of the game. "Alright Bass, let's keep it together!" she continued, making the mistake of turning her back on the other team. "Woah!" Jo said, bending herself out of the path of Bridgette's ball just in the nick of time.

The jock-ette pointed at Beth to return fire and she obliged, but just as the ball was inches from a cringing Bridgette it was caught. Geoff tipped his hat and winked at his teammate, and Chef signaled for Beth to take a seat and Ezekiel to take the court. The scoreboard dinged, showing the Bass' heavy 5-2 advantage.

Lightning took another pot shot at his two foes, but they dodged aside and DJ sent a volley back. Its intended target the jock managed to get out of the way, but it hit Geoff instead. "Ooh! Sorry man!" DJ winced, seeing the blonde boy go down to the floor.

"No problem, dude..." Geoff answered, hat crooked and eyes spinning.

While the party boy walked off the court, Jo had scooped up another pair of balls. She threw the first at Bridgette while she was distracted. Ezekiel saw it, though, and shoved the surfer out of the way; the ball hit him in the kidney, and he fell on top of Bridgette. The camera zoomed in on him grinning and the young woman looking mildly freaked out – until another ball hit her in the forehead and her expression filled with annoyance.

Chef blew his whistle, and the scoreboard showed the game tied at 2-2. It was now Jo and DJ for the Gophers facing Lightning and B for the Bass.

"Okay Brickhouse, we go for Mr. Muscles first, got it?" Jo muttered to her teammate.

"Got it." DJ nodded, and with balls in hand the two charged forward and threw in-synch. Lightning, with a confident smirk on his face and a ball in his hands, managed to deflect one shot but at the cost of the second hit.

"_What_?" Lightning cried as he was whistled off the court.

"Okay amigos, you can do it!" Alejandro called from the stands as DJ and Jo stared down B.

B began to sweat and panic as the two jocks started throwing balls his way. Despite his size, he proved to be quite agile, rolling beneath one of the balls and snatching another one off the ground. Getting up on one knee he quickly used his thumb to aim and let the shot loose.

It flew hard but wide, and Jo didn't even need to move out of the way. "Hah!" she shouted. "Missed-_gah_!" In her taunting she'd missed the ball ricocheting first off the side of the court and then off the wall behind, hitting her square in the back and taking her off her feet.

"Hmm..." Chris said, rubbing his chin. "Unorthodox, but I like it. Chef?"

The camera panned over to the large referee. "As long as it doesn't touch the ground," he shrugged before blowing his whistle.

The two young black men stared each other down, the last members of their team standing. DJ threw first, but B ducked. The coat-wearer sent his response high into the sky, forcing DJ to look up to keep track of it. Unfortunately for the Gophers it left him open to a quick second volley from B, and the gentle giant went down with his team's score.

Chef signaled the match's end, the scoreboard reading 0-1 as the Killer Bass cheered. B was greeted with a high-five from Geoff as he rejoined his team.

The footage cut to the Gophers having a team discussion on their bench. "What do you call _that_?" Jo berated the four she'd brought out to the court with her last match. "I thought we were here to _win_, not stand around like _idiots_!"

"Now now, I'm sure they all did their best." Alejandro stepped in, placing himself between the tomboy and DJ. "And yelling at us won't make us play better. What we need, my friends, is a _strategy_."

"Oh?" Jo questioned with a snort. "And I suppose _you_ have something in mind?"

Alejandro smirked, and motioned his team into a huddle. "Indeed I do..."

The camera cut back over to the Bass. "Okay guys, we can _do_ this!" Lightning said, pumping his arms up and down. "Just two more wins and we've got the challenge in the _bag_! Now who's goin' out there with me and my _smart_ brother?"

"Well, if I _gotta_," Sugar offered, "but those balls _better_ not scuff my pageant shoes. Or mess up my _hair_."

The shot went back to the court, the players all ready and waiting. The Gophers had fielded Alejandro, DJ, Topher, Shawn, and Sammy to the Bass' Lightning, B, Sugar, Ezekiel, and Sierra.

The whistle was blown, and Lightning, Ezekiel, and Sugar launched balls one after the other, but the Gophers seemed to all be in good form as none were struck out. "_Hah_!" Topher said smugly, walking forward and waving a finger at his opponents. "You people couldn't hit the broad side of a _billboard_!"

Sierra immediately hit him with a ball that had rolled under his legs on the rebound.

"Aggh! My _nose_!" Topher screamed, clutching his face and running off the court – and out of the enclosed playing field entirely.

"Hmmph." Sierra snorted dismissively. "That was for _you_, Chris! I'm _much_ better than that stupid _faker_, right?"

"Uhh..." was all Chris could say, giving the tall girl an odd look.

"Well then Screaming Gophers, I believe we can started now, okay?" Alejandro said off-screen, prompting Sierra to turn to face them just as she was pummeled by four balls. The remaining Bass looked on speechless at their teammate's fallen form, not noticing a few of the balls rolling back over the center line.

The point-of-view shifted to in front of the Gophers, showing the four teens holding balls and confident. Moving as one, they threw at Alejandro's signal and easily hit Lightning. The play was repeated with B, and then Sugar, and finally Ezekiel.

"Oh man," Chris chuckled as the homeschooler hit the ground, "_that_ was good enough for an instant replay." The clip pf Ezekiel being struck in the forehead, chin, shoulder, and stomach was shown again, moving according to the host's commands. "Forward...rewind...forward...okay, rewind...and forward...and pause! Haha, _that's_ gonna leave a _mark_." Satisfied, the shot changed back to the court, showing the four members of the Killer Bass still on the floor.

The whistle was blown, and the scoreboard changed from 4-4 to 4-0 in a single flash. "Well whaddaya know, it actually _worked_!" Jo smirked from the bench, genuinely impressed as her team cheered around her.

"Excellent." Alejandro said, walking off the court. "As long as we can keep that up, we shouldn't have any problems winning."

"I don't think it'll be that easy..." Dawn said softly, looking over at the Bass.

The camera cut to another team huddle with Lightning taking the lead. "Okay, that was _pathetic_! Even _I_ couldn't do anything! We need to counter that strategy, and _fast_. Any ideas?"

The camera focused on B, who looked thoughtful for a second but shrugged. "If _I_ may suggest something?" Scarlett offered, and all eyes were on her. "Their strategy, though effective against the unprepared, is a fairly simple one. It is reliant upon two conditions: first, that they coordinate their throws in such a way as to reduce the target's ability to dodge to near-zero; and second, that they maintain control over a sufficient number of balls to make repeated volleys."

"Hold up, can you say that in _English_?" Lightning told the bespectacled young woman.

Scarlett's face fell. "If we keep as many balls on our side as we can and prevent them from working together, we'll win."

"Yeah, well how the heck are we gonna do _that_?" Scott asked, seemingly recovered from his sleep deprivation.

"A modification of their own strategy," Scarlett replied. "One of us keeps track of the balls while the others coordinate shots. We should target Alejandro at the beginning if possible, as he appeared to be the one taking the lead last round. After that, aim for whomever stands out the most. Any questions?" The Bass shook their heads. "Good."

A flash sent the scene back to the third match. Scarlett, Sam, and Bridgette joined Lightning and Sierra for the Killer Bass to the Screaming Gopher's team of Alejandro, Dawn, Shawn, Jo, and Beth. The camera panned across each team, balls already in hand, then went back to Chef for the official start.

As with the previous two games, Lightning was the first to throw; this time, however, his ball was joined by those of Scarlett and Sierra. They flew straight towards Alejandro, who was quick to notice and quicker to act. He ducked under Lightning's fastball, and deflected Sierra's follow-up, but was unable to respond to Scarlett's calculated curve. The whistle was blown, the scoreboard updated, and the Gophers were left momentarily stunned.

"What are you _waiting_ for," Jo barked to her teammates, "get a ball and start _throwing_!" She herself led the charge, and inspired Shawn and Beth to follow suit once the latter had claimed a ball of her own. Their target was Sam, who in accordance with the Bass' plan was doing his best to gather the rebounded balls; he'd gotten two of them back to his side of the court, and by serving as a target ensured that three more came over the line. All three hit the gamer and bounced, but Scarlett took over his duties and passed the balls to her teammates.

"Jo next!" she ordered, darting to the back and grabbing a ball for herself. Knowing what was likely to come, the jock-ette scrambled for the one ball she could reach, but was unable to make use of it before she too was struck out.

The score now 3-4 in favor of the Bass, Shawn was the first to act – he rolled to the ground and picked up a pair of balls before they could roll back over the center line. Rather than wait for Beth and Dawn to prepare themselves, he took it upon himself to start targeting Scarlett, but missed both shots. The zombie nut was the next Gopher forced to the bench, and a montage of Beth and Dawn getting hit similarly followed shortly.

The Killer Bass celebrated their second win as the four victorious teens retreated to the bench. "Just as I expected," Scarlett said smugly. "As long as we prioritize their leadership and maintain ball control, we'll be able to win. However, I think we should modify our initial team composition next round in order to prevent them from becoming familiar with the individual style of our best players. Agreed?"

The shot cut over to the Gophers. "If _you_ wanna wimp out just because your little _strategy_ stopped working," Jo spat, finger pressed against Alejandro's chest, "then _fine_. But don't expect _me_ to!"

"They were _clearly_ targeting me last round," the handsome boy explained, "it would do us little good for me to go out there again. My talents would be better served figuring out how to beat them _next_ game."

"_Whatever_," Jo responded. "Hey, Twin One!" she pointed at Amy, "Go find Topher and get his _lazy butt_ back here!"

"_Samey_!" Amy immediately turned to her sister, "Go find Topher!"

Sammy sighed and left the stands, and the footage skipped ahead to the fourth match.

Jo, Beardo, Dawn, Amy, and Shawn faced down B, Ezekiel, Sugar, Geoff, and Scott. The six balls were already in hand, and the campers merely waited for Chef to blow his whistle.

He did.

Nobody threw a ball. They were held by Geoff, Sugar, B. Amy, Shawn, and Jo, but all of them were holding back, tensed up and waiting. Each team wanted the other side to throw first so they could start collecting balls for a coordinated assault.

The first one to crack was Chris McClean. "Okay, time-out!" he shouted, stepping on to the court. "This is _boring_, so I'm making a new rule: anyone who holds on to a ball for more than five seconds without throwing it or using it to deflect another ball is _out_. I wanna see some _action_ people!" He stepped off the court, and Chef blew his whistle again.

The sudden flurry of action was slowed down into a montage of hits and misses as the campers threw away their strategies on impulse. Shawn lobbed one at B, who had already thrown at Jo; the jock-ette bounced it away and nailed a panicked Ezekiel. Dawn dodged gracefully only to get hit by Scott just as Sugar knocked out Amy, and the scoreboard showed 3-3. Beardo launched one at Sugar with the force – and sound – of a catapult, and Shawn and Geoff knocked each other out of the game simultaneously.

Jo and Beardo were left staring down Ezekiel. They looked at each other and then at their target; Beardo cocked his arm and they threw. Ezekiel hollered and ran, but he was struck just the same.

Chef blew his whistle, and the scoreboard updated to show the Screaming Gophers' second win.

The shot cut to Sammy and Topher returning in the midst of their team's celebration; Topher's nose was stuffed with tissues but otherwise looked fine.

"I, uh, take it we won?" Sammy asked her team hesitantly.

"Indeed we did!" Alejandro answered with a smile. "Not as easily as I'd _prefer_, but we were _still_ victorious."

"Yeah, but we still need to beat them _one_ more time in order to win the challenge," Jo added. "You two haven't played much, so you're going in this round."

"_What_?" Topher protested. "I'm not risking any more damage to my _nose_!"

"Then you'd better learn to _dodge_!" Jo told him. "By the _way_," she turned back to Alejandro, "you ever figure out any new strategies for us like you _said_ you would?"

"I..._do_ have a few ideas," Alejandro admitted, "but they would take too long to explain. For now, we should focus on _distracting_ them and perhaps _catching_ the balls instead of deflecting them."

Cutting back to the Bass, the shot focused on Lightning and Scarlett. "Our problem last round wasn't the players' athletic ability" Scarlett argued, "so much as it was their disregard for _strategy_. Even _with_ the additional limitation, with a modicum of thought they could have managed the balls well enough to make the original strategy feasible."

"Oh _please_," Lightning argued back, "if they had just _moved_ quicker we would have won _easy_! Lightning'll show you _all_ how it's done!"

"_Fine_," Scarlett conceded with a small smirk, "have it _your_ way!"

The camera cut back to the host and the music picked up. "Gophers, Bass! Let's send this sample to the lab, and _see whatchya made of!_" Chef blew his whistle and threw down his arm, and the final match began.

The six balls began in the center for this match, and true to form Lightning was the first to dash towards them. He threw it forcefully at Jo who dodged but missed her counter-throw. A few more balls were shown flying over the middle of the court before the camera began to focus on Alejandro's narrowed eyes surveying the playing field. He quickly homed in on Ezekiel, who had positioned himself between Bridgette and Sierra. The two girls were relatively engrossed in the game and paid the prairie boy no heed.

Looking to his right he caught Topher's eye and motioned to the trio; Topher nodded and the two beautiful young men scooped up a ball each and launched them across the field.

Ezekiel saw both incoming missiles and their intended paths to the young women on either side of him, and his eyes went wide. He wasted a second panicking before making a snap decision to dive in front of Bridgette, not realizing that both of his teammates had already gotten out of the way. He was hit in the groin as he fell to the ground.

The pace of the footage picked up, showing DJ and Bridgette getting hit, and Topher barely catching a ball thrown by Sierra. Beth eagerly took the field, and easily dodged a ball thrown by Scott. Lightning, the consummate overachiever, managed to catch two balls at once – his team erupted in cheers as Sam and Scarlett took the field while Topher and Sammy left it. The brainiac and gamer quickly coordinated a pair of balls towards Alejandro, who caught one but was hit by the other – he and Sam were sent to the bench, and Amy hustled out to the court.

A split-screen showed Jo and Lightning throw at the same time, and catch at the same time – Chef signaled both as being out, and the jocks grumpily allowed themselves to be replaced by Shawn and B. The three Gophers shared a look; Shawn and Beth nodded, but Amy just rolled her eyes and sneered. The brunettes jumped into action, dashing around their side of the court and throwing every ball they came across without regards for aim. Their tactic managed to confuse the Bass long enough for Scarlett to get hit in the crossfire, but B had used the Gopher's commotion against them to eliminate Amy.

More balls were shown flying across the screen; catches from Beth and B caused Shawn and Scott to be replaced by Sugar and Beardo. The two teams stared their opposites down, with the pageant queen taking the next shot, silent genius following shortly thereafter. The two Gophers barely scraped a dodge and deflect between them, and the Bass had already reloaded.

Thinking quickly, Beardo made a good enough imitation of Chef's whistle that Sugar was left momentarily confused and an easy target for Beth. It was now the Gophers' turn to shoot looks of confidence across the court.

"Come on dude, you can do it!" Geoff called from the stands, but B didn't dare to let his eyes wander.

Beth and Beardo grinned at each other, and the human beatbox began to inhale a comically deep breath. B started to sweat, and he quickly rolled to the ground to pick up a ball. He judged the angle hastily but as he was about to throw he was startled by a loud but otherwise incredibly poor roar from Beth. He dropped his ball, looked up, and was nailed in the shoulder by Beardo.

The actual Chef's whistle was blown, the scoreboard updated to 2-0, and cheers erupted from one half of the court. "The Screaming Gophers win!" Chris announced. Beth and Beardo were quickly surrounded and picked up by their teammates who carried them out of the glass-walled field, and the camera panned over to the sorely disappointed losing team. "Bass, what happened?"

"I dunno, eh." Ezekiel answered first. "I thought we were a shoo-in to win, what with them havin' more _girls_ an' all."

Geoff and Sam gasped, and the four young Bass women turned their angry gazes upon him. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Bridgette asked first.

"Yeah, hat boy, _speak up_!" Sugar added.

"Well, guys are much stronger an' better at sports than girls are." Ezekiel explained, oblivious to his teammates' growing anger.

"Dude, you did _not_ just say that." Geoff said in disbelief.

"My Dad told me to look out for the girls here, y'know, protect 'em an' help 'em out." Ezekiel continued, digging himself deeper.

Bridgette gasped. "Is _that_ why you kept taking balls for me?"

"_Whoa_ there, let's give the guy a break." Geoff interrupted moving to separate Ezekiel from the four young women. "I mean, at least he doesn't think guys are smarter than girls, right?"

"But they _are_!" Ezekiel said, and he suddenly found himself face to face with Scarlett.

"Listen. _Closely,_" she hissed, eyes locked on his. "Neither _I_, nor _any other_ woman in the world is in need of your _protection_ or _assistance_. Furthermore, and despite cultural stereotypes, there is _absolutely no evidence_ suggesting a significant innate difference between the physical or cognitive abilities of different genders. _Understand_?"

"Yes ma'am!" Ezekiel said, shaking nervously.

xxx

"Man, I was so _psyched_ to have helped win the challenge!" Beardo said with a broad smile on his face and a bottle of soda in his hand. "I think the others are really startin' to warm up to me!"

xxx

The footage resumed with the now-typical elimination ceremony opening shot of the island at night. "Campers!" Chris said over a shot of the marshmallow tray. "You've already placed your votes and made your decision." The camera zoomed out to show the host in full, then switched to a pan over the campers – a few seemed nervous, but the girls in particular were looking at the nose-picking Ezekiel with anticipation, glee, and a bit of disgust. "One of you will be going home. And you can't come back. _Ev-er_." The shot cut back to a solemn Chris. "When I call out your name, come pick up a marshmallow. Sam."

The gamer wiped his brow as the camera panned over to him. As he walked up, the host continued to call out names. "Scarlett. Geoff." The first three campers were shown picking up their treats. "Lightning."

"Sha-woo!" the jock called, quickly leaving his seat.

"Sugar. Bridgette. Scott. Sierra." One by one, the campers were called and shown coming to the campfire to claim their marshmallow until only B and Ezekiel were left. "The final marshmallow goes to..." Chris smiled, holding out his tray as the music took a dramatic turn. The camera panned to B, sweating nervously, and then to Ezekiel, booger on his fingertip but also nervous. "..._B_."

The large young man let out a soundless sigh of relief, and got up to claim his prize.

Ezekiel, thoroughly dejected, got up and started to trudge to the exit. "Looks like old-school values and reality TV just don't _mix_!" Chris commented happily.

"I'm _so_ gonna trash you on my _blog_ once this is over." Sierra told the boy as he walked past her.

"Dunno what that _is_, eh." Ezekiel stopped to say. He looked back at the faces of his former teammates and opened his mouth again. "An' I guess I was _wrong_ about...a bunch a' stuff, I guess. Sorry, eh."

The point-of-view shifted to the front of Ezekiel as he walked off, the stony and silent faces of the Killer Bass in the background.

A bout of static marked the shift Chris' close-up. "Alright, some of that actually _was_ dramatic. Kind of." He shrugged and laughed. "What do _I_ care, I get paid either way!"

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

**Author's Note - Post Script**

I probably made the elimination too obvious, but then again we're all already familiar with the canon seasons so we know how the characters are likely to act. Regardless, Ezekiel is the sort of character who you either focus on or kick off early, or at least that's how I feel.

I do hope the dodgeball scenes were good, in particular Beardo and Beth's win. I actually ended up following the hit/miss/etc. rhythm used in the canon episode to make things easier to write, though obviously I mixed things up a bit.

Let me know what you thought of the chapter!

- Fangren

* * *

**Appendix: TSI Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (22nd Place)

Dakota - (21st Place)

Ezekiel - (20th Place)


	5. Chapter 5 - Not Quite Famous

**Authors Note**

The primary reason this took eight rather than six days to come out is because the first day I spent on Chapter 6 was cut short by previous arrangement with friends. Still, I was able to get this chapter out within the margin I had predicted, which I'm happy about.

In other news, this story seems to have gained quite a bit of popularity, the review count doubling between last chapter and now (although most of them _were_ from a handful of different people). It's even surpassed my other fic, Total Drama Rebirth in that regard. Incidentally, that story was updated recently, so please check it out if you haven't already!

With respect to the reviewers:

**Madison Wooten:** Wow, where to begin? First, I do plan on having two campers return at the merge - otherwise, I'd need to pick two challenges to become reward challenge rather than eliminations to make up for the lack of campers. Second, the current schedule for this fic is to update once every 6-8 days, usually either 6 or 8. Third, as I'm fairly certain I've already mentioned and/or alluded to, I plan on making sequels to parallel every canon season from Total Shuffled Action to Total Shuffled Pahkitew Island. Still, thank you for the reviews!

**80jj:** Thank you for the praise as always, and I also appreciate you keeping some of your speculation to yourself - spoilers are definitely something I want to avoid for this series.

**TotalCyborgPineappleIsland2:** Thank you for the reviews! I'm glad you're looking to the slash pairings, although given that this is sort of the first part of a trilogy, keep in mind that not all pairings will be fully developed - or even noted - in this particular fic. As for the suggestion of including votes, I regret to inform you that I will not be ddoing so at this time. I've seen it used in other fics, and I generally like it when its done, but as the votes were typically unknown in the canon season I don't fell like I should try to include them in Shuffled - especially not so early in the game when voting strategically has yet to come into play.

**Krazzeekman:** I'm glad you like the characterization! I've always felt that Ezekiel in particular was more clueless and sheltered than particularly hateful; don't get me wrong, his opinions were still quite backwards and wrong, but it was implied that he'd learned how wrong he was in canon.

**Sleep Arypsure and acosta perez jose ramiro:** Thank you both very much!

**Bellyacher:** I'm glad you liked the dodgeball game, and I hope you enjoy the talents I decided to showcase!

That said, I hope everyone enjoys the show!

* * *

**Episode 5 – Not Quite Famous**

"Last time, on Total Drama Island!" Chris began, the opening refresher beginning with the clip of a camera duct-taped to a totem pole used in the first episode. "The Killer Bass faced their second loss against the Screaming Gophers," footage of the dodgeball game was played, showing both sides making – and taking – hits, "though not before putting up one _heck_ of a fight. There were bruises and risky moves on _both_ sides of the field," clips of Topher getting hit in the nose and Ezekiel taking a ball for Bridgette were shown, "and in the end it was the misogynistic Ezekiel who said too much and got the boot." The Gophers were shown carrying Beardo and Beth off the field in celebration, and then the Bass girls glaring angrily at Ezekiel.

"This week," the host continued over clips of the homeschooler's elimination, "another challenge will send _one_ more camper on a _cruise_," the clip of a picture of the show's boat on a suspended signboard from the first episode was shown again and followed by a shot of the boat itself, "to _Loserville_, Population: _Four_." Chef was shown blowing his whistle before the camera cut to Chris on the docks. "Who will sink, and who will stay afloat?," the host gesticulated down, then up, then pointed to the camera. "Find out _right now_, on Total! Drama! _Island_!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

_Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

_You guys are on my mind!_

_Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

_And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

_I wanna be...famous!_

_I wanna live close to the sun!_

_Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

_Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

_I'll get there one day._

_'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

_(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

The scene opened with a shot of the tree tops against the morning sky; the camera panned down to show the two cabins. The shot cut inside the boy's side of the Bass cabin, showing Geoff, Lightning, Sam, B, and Scott still fast asleep, then switched over to the Gopher girls where Amy, Sammy, Jo, and Beth slumbered while Dawn meditated peacefully.

The scene shifted back outside, to a close-up of a seagull nesting in the horn of a loudspeaker. The brief sound of a siren sent it flying, and Chris' voice began to play. "Alright campers!" he announced, "Enough beauty sleep! _Time_ to _show_ us what you're _made_ of!"

The footage skipped ahead to a shot from behind the campers; they had assembled on team bleachers in front of a small outdoor stage. "Welcome to our brand new, deluxe, state-of-the-art, outdoor _amphitheater_!" Chris announced, the viewpoint quickly shifting to behind the host looking out at the campers and back. The camera came in for a close-up and the host continued. "Okay, this week's challenge is a summer camp favorite!" Chris announced, raising a single finger and pointing out to his audience. "A _talent_ contest!"

"A talent contest?" Sugar perked up. "Finally! _This_ is what I came here for!"

"Each team has _eight_ hours to pick their _three_ most talented campers," the handsome host continued over more shots of excitement from the campers. "These three will represent them in the show tonight! _Sing_, _dance_, _juggle_, anything goes as long as it's _legal_!" The camera briefly cut back to the campers before the shot took it's place among them.

"You'll be _judged_ by our resident talent scout, former DJ, VJ, _and_ rap legend, Grand Master Chef!" Chris' voice took on the quality of a sports announcer as he reintroduced Chef, and the view switched back to the host's close-up as his explanation continued. "Who will show his _approval _via," with both hands he pointed to a spot above his head, "the _Chef_-o-meter!" A picture of a wooden spoon appeared on the top of the screen; the bowl held a portrait of Chef, and set in the handle was the nine-sectioned meter that would display the score by lighting the appropriate number of sections green. "The team that loses will send one camper home _tonight_. Good luck!"

The host began to walk off the stage, but was interrupted by a sudden screaming from off-screen. The camera quickly panned up to show none other than Dakota strapped in to a hang glider and rapidly approaching the set. "What the...?!" Chris exclaimed as the blonde crashed through her former team, landing on a certain gamer.

"Hey Sam!" Dakota smiled as she detached herself from the glider and removed her pink helmet.

"Oh, hi Dakota!" Sam answered the girl on top of him with an awkward chuckle.

"Excuse me, Dakota?" Chris called out, looking annoyed. "You're no longer in the competition, _remember_?"

"I don't care about the _money_," the heiress said as the camera turned back to her in the middle of removing her harness. "Like I _need_ it. I just want, _umm_, close-up please?" she waved the camera forwards, and the person behind it obliged. "Thank you." Dakota continued, clasping her hands against a cheek. "I just want camera time! People need to see my _sparkly adorableness_ if I'm gonna get my spin-off reality series."

She winced suddenly, and the camera zoomed out to show that Chef had appeared beside her and grabbed her by the arm. The hulking man lifted her up and took her over to the stage, where Chris waited. "You know how you walked down the Dock of _Shame_ a couple episodes ago?" he told her. "That means you're _done_, _for-ev-er_."

"No, _please_, I'll do _anything_!" Dakota squealed.

"Listen, _Princess_, this is _my_ show," his rant was interrupted by a sudden call on a cellphone he extracted from a pants pocket. "Huh?" he answered, smiling when he heard a voice on the other end. He cupped the mouthpiece and told the captive girl, "It's your _daddy_!"

The shot panned over to Chef and a smiling Dakota as the host continued the call. "Hello, Mr. Milton!" the shot cut back to Chris as his eyes shot open and grin enlarged. "_How_ much money?" The camera zoomed out to show all three as the host ended the call and stowed away his phone. "You're back!" he told the blonde.

"_Yes_!" Dakota cheered, turning to the camera and smiling cutely. "Thanks, Daddy!"

"As an _intern_!" Chris finished happily.

"An _intern_?" the rich girl whined as Chef carried her off stage, "_NOOOOOOO_!"

"Hey, if you get settled in _fast_ enough, you might be able to help with today's _challenge_!" Chris called after them with a laugh. "Alright," he turned back to the largely shocked campers, "the rest of you can get started!"

The campers began to walk back away from the stage. "This seems like it'll be _quit_e a difficult challenge for us to win," Alejandro said loudly and with a quick aside glance towards the Bass. "Not to diminish our _own_ talents, of course, but _they_ have a pageant winner on their team. No doubt Sugar knows _all_ about winning talent competitions, and don't get me _started_ on how _talented_ she must be!"

The shot cut over to the queen in question, all puffed up and strutting alongside her team. "Y'know, I think _I_ should be in charge a' this challenge," she told the other Bass, "on account a' me havin' the most _experience_ an' all."

"S'cool with me." Geoff answered.

"Lightning's fine with that too," the jock added.

A shrill whistle moved the scene in front of the cabins, where Jo stood before her team with a clipboard. "Alright Gophers, _I'll_ be taking charge of this challenge, if there aren't any _objections_," she glared at Alejandro.

The charmer shrugged and smiled. "You've certainly proven yourself to be an effective leader, so I see no reason to deny you the position.

"Good," Jo smiled smugly. "Now, I want everyone to show me their _talent_ so I can pick who's going to compete. Who wants to go first?"

"Oh, I'm _very_ good at palm reading!" Dawn said from just off-screen, the shot zooming out to show her standing just inches from a startled Jo. The petite young woman seized her teammate's hand without asking, splaying it palm-up and peering closely at it. "Let's see...according to this, your _greatest_ victory will never come if you seek it out."

"Gah!" Jo finally reacted, pulling her hand back and clutching it close to her body. "Okay, _no_, we are _not_ putting your creepy nonsense on stage." Dawn frowned and shook her head, walking back to the rest of her team. "Next!" Jo barked.

The camera quick-panned to the Bass, who also had gotten together in front of their cabin. Sugar was looking over them with her hands on her hips. "Okay..._you_!" she pointed at Sam, "What's yer talent?"

"Uhhh, I'm really good at video games," Sam said, scratching the back of his head. "I guess I could do a speed run or go for a high score, but I'd need to ask Chris for my Gameguy back."

Sugar looked thoroughly unimpressed. "I don't think so. This ain't a _game_, it's a _competition_, and we need ta show off some _real _talents!"

"Well, what about _your_ talent?" Scott asked snidely.

"Hah!" Sugar snorted. "A _real_ pageant queen doesn't just show off her talent, not when the _competition_ might see it." She pointed her thumb over her shoulder and the camera rotated to show the Gophers in the distance behind her. "Besides, I _already_ know what _I_ can do, this is about the _rest_ a' ya tryin' to _impress_ me."

Back with the Gophers, DJ leapt onto the screen in a white leotard and holding a long pink ribbon on a stick. Dainty and elegant music played as he twirled and spun the ribbon in a display of rhythmic gymnastics.

"Yeah, _no_." Jo said bluntly, the music screeching to a halt. "I don't think Chef is gonna be impressed by _ribbon dancing_."

Dejected, DJ sniffed and rejoined the rest of his team. "Umm, if it helps, _I_ really liked it." Sammy said, uncertainly putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Thanks. It means a lot." DJ told her. The camera panned over to Amy, watching the pair and scowling.

It was B's turn to audition for the Killer Bass. Sugar and the others watched the large boy skeptically as he dashed around the campgrounds, picking up sticks, and rock, and vines, and other assorted debris. Once he'd gathered a large pile, he became a flurry of motion. In no time at all, he'd created a bust of himself out of the materials in the area.

"Ooh, do me! Do _me_!" Sugar said excitedly. B shot her a smirk and rearranged his sculpture in a flash so that it resembled the southern girl. "You've got yerself a spot in the show!" Sugar told him, and the silent genius gave the camera a thumbs up.

The music turned peppy as the scene cut back to the other team. "Gophers, Gophers, we're the greatest," Amy cheered as her sister silently following the routine alongside her, "to-night's win will be our latest!" She cartwheeled away from her sister then turned around, launching into a series of handsprings as she continued the cheer. Sammy readied her own hands and caught her slightly-older sister's legs as she jumped close, and Amy was lifted into the air. She struck a pose to finish the cheer. "Goooooo Gophers!"

Jo scratched her chin for a moment before making her decision. "I like your _spirit_, Amy. I wasn't really feeling it from _Samey_, but I guess you need _someone_ to hold you up."

"Yeah, that's pretty much all she's good for." Amy said as she was lowered to the ground. "But still," she looked at her sister, "you should at least make an _effort_ to smile."

Sammy sighed. "Yes, of course."

"Good," Jo told them. "Between the two of you and Beardo, we only need one more act. Let's take a short break, but I want to see something from _everyone_ that hasn't already auditioned."

As the Gophers dispersed, DJ caught up with the younger cheerleader who'd been left alone by her sister. "Hey! Just wanted to say I think you did pretty good."

"Oh, thanks..." Sammy said, rubbing her arm sheepishly. "I didn't do _much_, just, _you know_, do what Amy told me to..." DJ opened his mouth to say something, but Sammy kept going. "Even though we _really_ should have had more people to hold her up..."

"Well, you still did a pretty good job," DJ told her, "and nothin' bad happened! I bet you'll be _great_ in the show tonight."

"Yeah, I _hope_ so..." Sammy said quietly.

The camera panned over to show Amy watching them from the door to the Gopher girl's room.

xxx

"Uggh, if _Samey_ think that _she's_ gonna be the first to get a boyfriend here," the meaner twin began, arms folded save for a swat at a fly, "then she's got another thing _coming_. Of course, she can _have_ crybaby _DJ_ – I mean, _gag_," she mimed sticking her finger in her mouth, "have you _seen_ him? He's a _loser_! I can do better than _that_!"

xxx

"Okay," Sugar announced as she looked over her teammates, "Bridgette, yer next!"

"Right!" the surfer said, walking forward. "I can stand on my hands for _twenty_ minutes. Watch!" She fell into a handstand, and took a few tottering steps around the common area.

Sugar pursed her lips and snorted. "C'mon, that's just a _pet_ trick! Next!"

Bridgette sighed and got back on her feet, while Sierra eagerly thrust her hand in to the air. Sugar looking at her was all the tall girl needed to dash in front of the group and start. "I can recite, from memory _and_ in chronological order, _every_ line ever said by Chris in a film, TV show, or song." She took a deep breath in preparation.

"NEXT!" Sugar interrupted, forcing and end to Sierra's audition.

The scene cut back to Amy as she spotted Alejandro spying on the competition. "Hi Alejandro!" she said, sliding up next to him and batting her eyes.

"Oh!" the handsome young man said as he noticed his teammate. "What can I do for you?"

"Oh, not much..." the blonde smirked, peeking around the corner she and Alejandro were standing behind while getting closer to him all the while. "Spying on those _losers_ I take it?"

"It never hurts to know what the _competition_ is up to," Alejandro answered, "especially when our so-called _'leader'_ gives us time to ourselves during a challenge."

"Uggh, Jo's the _worst_, right?" Amy rolled her eyes and ducked back behind the building. "All _ugly_ and _gross_, it's like she doesn't even _care_ about her looks. It's only a matter of time before she gets voted _out_."

"True," Alejandro admitted with his eyes still on the Bass, "but not until we can break her _alliance_ with Beth and Beardo."

"Those _freaks_?" the blonde scoffed. "It _figures_ the ugly losers would stick together. But _speaking_ of _alliances_..." she nestled herself close to her preoccupied teammate.

"Ah, I _see_..." Alejandro said, finally turning his gaze back to the cheerleader. "I hope you do not take this the wrong way – I find you _quite_ attractive, the most _beautiful_ girl on the island even," Amy blushed and giggled, "but I'm afraid I must _decline_ your advances. We hardly know each other, it wouldn't be _right_ to hook up so quickly."

Amy's face fell and she took a step away from him. "_Fine_." Alejandro offered one last smile, which forced the cheerleader to averted her eyes to hide her blush.

The music took a more radical tune as the scene shifted back to a shot of a few clouds above the treetops. Geoff entered the scene from the right, riding a skateboard up and off a slanted rock in the foreground, performed a kickflip, and landed off-screen. The camera cut to a shot of a stump near the Bass cabin as B, Sierra, and Sam watched in the background. Geoff rode in from the right and up the side of the stump, coming to a stop and kicking the board up to his hands.

As the Bass cheered, Bridgette and Sugar approached the party boy. "Well, I guess those fancy tricks of yers should be good enough," the pageant queen remarked. "I'm probably gonna win anyway, but you an' B should be good warm-up acts."

"Hey, I'm gonna be on _TV_, man!" Geoff exclaimed in his excitement.

The camera panned over to Bridgette. "You're already _on_ TV, Geoff," she told her fellow blonde.

"Oh yeah!" Geoff said as the camera panned back to him, and he ran up close to it. "Hello out there, _dudes_!"

The footage skipped back to Topher striking poses for his team. "Feast your eyes on the _Topher Experience_!" he said, showing off every angle of his body for the camera.

"Are you _kidding _me?" Jo said. "_Next_!"

Another skip forward and the music turned frantic as Beth was shown twirling a pair of batons, both of which had been lit ablaze. The shot zoomed out to show her team sitting on picnic tables behind her, then focused on Shawn, Beardo, and Jo as the girl swung a baton too close for their comfort.

"Uh, are you sure that's _safe_?" Shawn asked as he recoiled in fear.

"It's okay," Beth lisped as the focus moved back to her, "I've been _practicing_!" She tossed one of her batons high into the air, looked uncertainly at the second still twirling in her hand, and sent that one flying too. It arced high, and most of the Gophers ducked behind the tables to avoid getting hit.

As they peaked out over them, the camera panned over to show their move had been unnecessary – Alejandro had managed to catch both. "I _kinda_ missed the catching class..." Beth explained sheepishly.

"Thankfully, there was no harm done," Alejandro told her. "Plus, it gives me the opportunity to show off one of my _many_ talents for the team's consideration." The other teens looked on in interest as the charmer began to juggle to the blazing batons with ease, and even added a few odds and ends from his pockets to the mix. At the peak of his performance he had seven objects in the air including the batons, and he took them out of rotation one by one until it was only the batons once again. He flashed a smile, then deftly snuffed the flames in the dirt.

"Good job," Jo told him, "looks like you _aren't_ all talk after all." She blew her whistle. "Okay people, we've got our acts, so from now until the show I expect _everyone_ to be getting ready, got it?"

The scene cut to Amy walking through the camp by herself. "If the hottest guy here isn't biting," she muttered to herself, "that doesn't leave me many options for a good boyfriend." She began counting on her fingers. "My team only has _Topher_ left, but the Killer Bass have...Lightning, and maybe Geoff? They don't seem very _smart_, so I should be able to get _one_ of them eating out of my hand in no time."

The camera panned to the left, showing none other than Lightning in the middle of a jog. The camera moved back to the cheerleader, who smirked. "Yoohoo, Lightning!" she called as the jock passed by.

"Huh?" Lightning grunted as he skid to a halt. Spotting Amy waving at him, he grinned and walked up to her. "Whassup, girl? You like what you see?"

"You know it..." Amy said, eyes drinking in the athlete's body. "Wanna make out?"

It was Lightning's turn to look over the other teen's body. "Hmm..Lightning doesn't just make out with _anyone_, so why should I give you the pleasure of being the first girl on the island to get with _me_?"

Amy scoffed playfully and put a hand on her hips. "Uh, _hello_? Cheer Captain here! And you _know_ I'm the hottest girl on the island. It's only _natural_ that we hook up."

Lightning smirked. "That you are, and that it is." He turned serious again. "But Lightning don't know about hookin' up with someone on the other _team_."

"_Those_ losers?' Amy rolled her eyes. "Puh-_lease_! Why would I care about _them_ when I can have a winner like _you_?"

"Girl, I like the way you _think_!" As the two moved closer to each other, the camera panned up and cut away to a different shot of the sky.

Panning back down, the camera revealed Alejandro with a look of bewilderment mixed with disgust.

"Hey, what're _you_ doin' over here?" The point-of-view shifted to the spy's back, showing Sugar standing alone behind the cabin.

"My _apologies_," Alejandro began, stepping out from hiding. "I heard you _practicing_, and couldn't help but get a closer look! You really _are_ quite talented, but that's to be expected from a woman with _your_ beauty and singing voice."

"Yeah, I know," Sugar chuckled, walking up to her competitor and expression shifting into a glare. "But I _ain't_ puttin' on a show, so get yer butt _outta_ here!"

"Again, I apologize for the intrusion!" Alejandro said, backing up a few inches. "Although...as good as you are, I _doubt_ it'll be enough to beat my team. Which is a _shame_, since there's a couple people I want to get rid of. Perhaps we can come to some sort of..._arrangement_?" He flashed a smile at the pageant queen, who simply narrowed her eyes.

"I'm listenin'..."

xxx

Sugar began her confessional with a snort. "I _know_ he's tryin' ta _play_ me; I've been in _more_ than enough pageants to recognize the ol' 'I wanna lose so here's how to improve yer act' routine." She waved her hands in the air in place of air quotes. "Heck, I've _used_ it a few times myself! It's _obvious_ his 'tips' would only _hurt_ my chances at winnin'." Sugar crossed her arms smugly.

xxx

"Simple reverse psychology," Alejandro explained in his own turn at the outhouse. "I told her to change her act, so she keeps it _exactly_ the _same_." He grinned. "Of course, all the advice in the _world_ wouldn't be enough for her to actually _win_ the talent competition. "

xxx

The scene cut to the Killer Bass waiting on stage; Geoff sat on the edge tweaking his board, Scott sat a little ways away whittling a chunk of wood, B played cards on a few crates with Sierra, Sam, and Scarlett, and Bridgette stood watching contentedly.

"So, can you really stand on your hands for _twenty minutes_?" Geoff asked his fellow blond.

"Wanna bet that I _can't_?" Bridgette told him, pulling out an unwrapped chocolate bar and waving in enticingly.

"Oh, you're on!" Geoff agreed instantly.

"Oh _please_," Scott snorted, "like _anyone_ could stand on their hands for _that_ long."

"Actually," Scarlett interjected while placing a card down, "twenty minutes isn't an unreasonable length of time for a handstand for someone with the proper training. I do, however, remain skeptical of _Bridgette's_ ability to to stay balanced for such a prolonged period."

Bridgette just smirked. "Well then, _ante up_."

The shot changed to a close-up of the Bass dropping their bets – mostly spare change and sweets – on one of the crates, then the camera zoomed out and panned over the Killer Bass to the surfer. "Okay," she told them, "twenty minutes, starting..." she readied herself, "_now_!" Just as during her audition, she fell forward into her handstand, and took a few steps around. As she walked across the stage, the camera panned up to one of the stage lights, and back down along a connected rope. As Bridgette passed by, she unwittingly got her leg caught in the rope. Though she continued to walk, the rope hampered her; she eventually tried to pull her leg free, but the camera cut to the rope untying and unwinding itself.

From below, the light was seen falling, and the camera cut away just as it crash-landed. It cut back to show Scott, eyes wide in alarm, prone on the ground having narrowly dodged the falling fixture. He quickly composed himself, and the camera caught his glance up at the lights before he got to his feet.

"Oh _crap_, are you alright?" Bridgette exclaimed, rushing to her teammate's aide.

"And just _what_ is going on here?" An annoyed voice took the focus off the Bass as Chris entered the scene, looking between the scattered campers and the fallen light. "I'd normally be pretty ticked off at you guys for wrecking the stage," he scowled briefly before his grin resurfaced, "but this gives me a chance to have my new _intern_ get to work!"

The host snapped his fingers, sending the camera panning over to Dakota. She'd changed out of her former pink ensemble and into the khaki pants and a red shirt similar to Chris', and was looking rather put-upon.

"I want that light back up there in time for the talent contest, so get to work!" Chris ordered, prompting a groan from the former contestant. "And _no_ asking for help! If you want your screen time, you've gotta _earn_ it!" He walked away, leaving the Bass to awkwardly watch their former member struggle to move the fallen light.

xxx

"Okay, klutzy surfer girl is going as soon as I can figure out how to blame _her_ for us losing the talent contest," Scott sneered into the confessional. "And, y'know, figure out how to get another _light_ to fall during one of our acts."

xxx

The presence of Alejandro, Beardo, and the twins preparing backstage with Geoff and B indicated that the footage had skipped ahead to shortly before the competition. Sugar appeared from stage right, a lavender sheet draped around her shoulders which hid most of her body. She strutted confidently past the other campers, earning most of their attention and a variety of looks.

"I hope yer all prepared ta _lose_," she announced, "'cuz the main attraction just _arrived_."

"Well I, for one, look forward to your performance." Alejandro replied with a smile.

xxx

"And _especially_ to how her team reacts to their so-called 'Pageant Queen'." Alejandro chuckled in a brief confessional

xxx

The static cut to a spinning background of orange and yellow rays, upon which the Killer Bass and Screaming Gopher logos rotated into view in the middle of the screen. "_Iiiiiiit's_ the TDI Talent _Extravaganza_!" Chris' voice announced, the facing logos backing away from each other then colliding in a shower of stars. The camera cut to a distance shot of the host on-stage; night had clearly fallen and the non-competing campers could be seen watching in the stands.

"Welcome," Chris said as the point-of-view moved behind him and panned across the seated teens, "to the very first Camp Wawanakwa Talent Contest," the view switched to the host's close-up as he thrust a finger at the camera, "where _seven_ campers will showcase their mad skills, and _desperately_ try not to humiliate themselves." The shot zoomed out to show Chris standing to one side. "First up for the Killer Bass, is _Geoff_!"

A brief cut to the Bass applauding and cheering their teammate before the focus shifted to the stage. Music began to play as the party boy burst out from backstage on his skateboard. He picked up speed as he traveled across the stage, then kickflipped off it and stuck the landing. Geoff circled back, grinding across the front of the Gopher's bleachers, kickflipped back off, turned himself around while the board was moving, and slid across the Bass' front row while shooting a wink and finger pistol at Bridgette. He spun himself around as he got back on the ground, built up more speed, and jumped back on stage. He rolled to a halt at centerstage, and kicked his board up into his hands.

The Killer Bass cheered.

xxx

"Did you _see_ that?" Bridgette gushed. "That was _amazing_! We _sooo_ have this in the _bag_!" She sighed dreamily, realized she was still in the outhouse, and flushed with embarrassment.

xxx

"Okay dude," Chris applauded as he walked out on stage, "those were some pretty _rad_ moves, and it looks like I'm not the only one who thought so!" The host put his arm around the party boy's shoulder as the 'Chef-o-meter' appeared on the top of the screen, the first seven sections filling with green and dinging.

The Bass were shown cheering again before switching back to Chris' close-up. "First up for the Screaming Gophers," he announced, "Make some noise for the twins, Amy _and_ Samey!" Their team was shown cheering before the two cheerleaders cartwheeled into the spotlight.

"Total Drama Island is the best show on TV;" Amy cheered with her sister shadowing her every move, "And all of us compete to win a case full of money!" The elder twin stepped in front of her sister and Sammy, forced smile straining, lifted her up by her thighs. "Chris McClean is _handsome_," the cheer continued with Amy faking a swoon and Sammy trying to keep her sister up, "and Chef Hatchet is so _strong_;" she flexed her arms and her sister wobbled, "The _Bass_ think they'll be _winning_ but the _Gophers_ know they're _wrong_!" The elder blonde struck a dramatic pose, and the younger finally lost her grip. "_Gooooooo_ GOPH-aaaahgh!" The twins lost their balance and crumpled to the floor.

"Nice cheer," Chris told them as he walked out, "but maybe Samey should practice her stunts a bit more. Let's see what Grandmaster Chef thinks!" He raised his arm and the Chef-o-meter appeared once more, registering a mere four. "Not much," the host frowned at the camera. The girls walked off the stage, Amy glaring at an ashamed Sammy. "_So_, with two down and _four_ acts to go, the Killer Bass are making a _killing_. Next on-deck, _B_!" He raised his hand and backed off the stage. "Do your thing, bro!"

The silent genius walked out into the spotlight and bowed to the audience. He grinned and snapped his fingers, sending the camera panning left as Dakota was shoved into view. She smiled and waved at the camera and held up a partially-filled garbage bag. Walking over to B, she dumped the contents of the bag at his feet – a few branches, vines, and stones as well as a considerable amount of food waste. B took a deep breath and got to work.

He hid his work behind his bulk, so the audience – and camera – only saw a few things moved or accidentally sent flying. After nearly a minute of work he stopped suddenly and revealed his creation: a scale model of the island. His team applauded his work and the camera zoomed in for a better view, but as it did a stiff breeze blew across the stage. The replica trembled for a moment as its creator looked on in dread, and then it collapsed into an unrecognizable mess.

"Well, it was nice while it lasted dude." Chris said as he stepped back into view; the Chef-o-meter showed a four. "Seems like Grandmaster Chef agrees! Intern, why don't you clean this up for us!" B walked off in defeat and Dakota stepped up in resigned humiliation. "_Three_ down, and _three_ to go, and the Screaming Gophers are _totally_ sucking so far. Let's here it for _Alejandro_!"

The Gopher's charmer stepped on stage accompanied by a stereotypically Latin American tune and his hands behind his back. "Friends," he opened, "tonight, I shall _juggle_ for you." He revealed a trio of oranges in his hands. "If any of you have anything to add, by all means throw it in – I'd like this to be a _challenge_ after all." He smiled at the audience, and his teammates laughed and cheered.

He started off simple, getting the oranges up into the air with ease. As per his request the other Gophers ran up to the stage and tossed various items at him – Shawn threw a bag of chips, Beth her shoes, and a small dumbbell from Jo – and all were integrated without missing a beat.

The shot focused in on Chris' head peeking out from behind the curtain. "_Anything_, you say?" he smiled devilishly, the camera following him backstage where he shot a glance at his latest intern.

"Um...do I have something on my face?" Dakota asked him, looking up from her nails.

The camera cut back to the front of the stage as the heiress was tossed into view by an unseen force. To his credit Alejandro managed to catch her, but in his shock he dropped a shoe and the bag of chips. Thinking quickly he tossed her back into the air and caught his other juggled items, dropping them gently to the floor just as Dakota back into his arms. "My sincerest apologies," he told her with his face close enough to make her blush, "I hope you are not hurt?"

"Oh, no, I'm fine..." Dakota stammered as she was let go. The camera cut to a shot of Sam scowling from the stands.

"Hahahaha! _Sorry_ about that, dude!" Chris laughed as he took to the stage. "I just couldn't help myself!"

"...no harm done." Alejandro forced after a moment.

"Anywho," the host wiped a tear out of his eye, "looks like Chef enjoyed the act as well." He pointed to the Chef-o-meter, which flashed a seven. "Looks like you've managed to tie things up for your team! We'll take a quick break, and then see how our _last_ two contestants fare!"

A simple blank-and-white animation of a man ironing a shirt – and his hand – in front of an old television set was shown as a means of transition.

xxx

"Uggh, who does that guy think he _is,_ treating Dakota like that?" Sam grumbled within the confessional. "_Chris_, I mean. Although I didn't really like watching Alejandro _flirt_ with her either."

xxx

"Welcome back to the TDI Talent Extravaganza!" Chris' voice announced over the same 'clashing logos' animation that had opened the contest.

"Welcome back!" the man himself repeated. "The score is tied up with Alejandro's juggling and Geoff's skate tricks. It's up to our last two competitors to score _higher_ than their teammates did, or else we'll be going into a tie-breaker. _So_, without further delay, here she is for the Bass, Sugar!"

The blonde who stepped on stage wasn't the pageant queen, but rather Dakota. "Umm, hold on..." the heiress said, taking out a long piece of paper. "She's a...genu-wine? Angel, who's come to earth to..._shave_ us?"

"_Save_ us!" Sugar hissed from out-of-sight.

"_Right_," Dakota said, "to _save_ us from our boring, un-glitzy lives with her..."

"Skip the intro!" Chris ordered in a hushed tone.

"Well _fine_, she wasn't doin' it right _anyway_," Sugar said as she walked into the spotlight, sheet still draped around her. She shoved Dakota off-stage and turned to face the audience. "Dear fans! You know me as _Sugar_," the pageant queen began. The camera cut to both the Gophers and the Bass, most looking confused save for Alejandro's anticipatory smirk. "But my farmies on the farm call _me_," she threw off her covering to reveal an alternate colored version of her regular outfit – white blouse and pink pants rather than pink blouse and blue jeans – with matching hat and a gold cowbell around her neck, "_Sugar Silo_!" The sound of a lackluster trumpet was played. "The _only_ artist ever to combine _rap_ an' country. I call it, Craptry!" She snapped her fingers and music started to play – a harp at first, but it quickly changed into a hip-hop beat.

"Sugar _Silo_! I'm wicked _sweet_, I tap it when I rap it with a tasty _beat_!" she licked her lips in a close-up, and shots of the Bass, the Gophers, and even Chris and Dakota were shown of them becoming increasingly alarmed. "I don't like milk from a Jersey _cow_, I'm the Queen of Craptry, you all should _bow_! Sugar _Hollaaa_!" The camera tilted as she hit the high note, and she began to strut around stage.

"Sugar Silo _go_, dosey _doe_! Sugar Silo _here_ to win the _dough_! Sugar _Hollaaaaa_!" The next high note was enough to shatter the camera lens, startle a flock of birds out of the nearby trees, and even cause the sharks in the lake to wince.

"Like a talking _horse_, the truth I _speak_," she danced across the stage as though on an invisible steed, "I'll beat out Mister _Juggle_ and the beatbox _freak_!" She pointed a thumb behind her, and the camera panned to Beardo and Alejandro backstage with their eyebrows raised. "Am I _trippin'_? No _way_, I'm bein' for real! I'm gonna _win_ this hundred-grand _deal_! Sugar _Hollaaaaaaaaa_!" Her final high note caused every human to clutch their ears in pain.

"_That's_ how it's _done_!" Sugar congratulated herself.

"Yeah, _no_." Chris told her, visibly displeased as he stepped into view. "_Never_ do that again, Sugar." To emphasize the host's point, the Chef-o-meter gave her a single point.

"_What_? That _can't_ be right!" Sugar protested as she was forced backstage. "I _demand_ a recount!"

Chris took a moment to regain his composure and his signature smile. "Well then, it's down to the final act of the night. Can _Beardo_ do better than Sugar? I certainly _hope_ so. Can he do good enough to win for his team? _Let's_ find out!"

Beardo stepped out to applause from his team; he waved to them. "Hey! This is gonna be longer than what I normally _do_," he told them, "so please, be patient and see it through." He took a deep breath, and began to beatbox.

He opened with a remix of Edvard Grieg's "Morning Mood", one of the tunes classically used to signify the start of a new day. He ended it abruptly with a short siren, then moved into an awe-filled tune. That, in turn was ended by a sudden whooshing noise, which was followed by a crash and a series of alternating sharp and dulcet tones. He imitated Chris' ring tone, which raised a few eyebrows amongst the crowd, then made a trumpet fanfare which quickly fell flat.

For a moment he seemed to have returned to a more standard form of beatboxing, until he interrupted is with a shrill whistle. More whistles alternated between other sounds – a mystic sort of tune, followed by a graceful and elegant tune, and so on until a hectic tune mixed with the roar of a fire, each bringing a smile to the face of one of his team members.

After imitating a flame being extinguished, Beardo made the sound of a video being fast-forwarded. From then his sounds came low and slow and tense, before erupting into a fanfare. The sound of a skateboard rolling over wood was followed by seven quick dings; the tune of the twin's cheer was followed by a crash and a quartet of sad rings. The sound of frantic movement and collapse and four tones; objects flying into the air and seven.

Seeing the audience at the edge of their seats, Beardo shifted into a hip-hop beat, and interspersed it with the sound of glass shattering three times. The sound of a buzzer, and he trailed his beatboxing into silence.

The Bass in the stands were shown slack-jawed and stunned, but even they couldn't help but cheer and applaud. Alejandro and Sammy both emerged from backstage to congratulate their teammate, and even Amy seemed to be impressed enough to stand near him.

"Great rendition, dude!" Chris added his own applause, the Chef-o-meter flashing a full nine. "Check it out! Grandmaster Chef has declared his winner! Despite their efforts, the Killer Bass have been _trampled_ by the Screaming Gophers!"

The other Gophers swarmed the stage, with Beth giving her teammate a giant hug. "You were _awesome_, Beardo!" she told him.

"And _as_ for the Killer Bass," Chris announced, stepping away from the winning team. Those still on the bench were shown looking at the host in fear. "Pick you favorite _loser_, and I'll see you at the _bonfire_."

xxx

"We lost without me _doing_ anything?" Scott confessed. "Feels kinda _weird_." He rubbed the back of his neck, then shrugged, "But I ain't _complainin'_. Too bad I'll have to _wait_ to get _Bridgette_ booted off."

xxx

"Kudos to you all for an _incredible_ night of entertainment!" Chris said over the night-time shot of the island. The shot changed to Geoff and Bridgette already holding marshmallows and smiling at each other. "Stunts, _drama_, and some _wicked_ wipe-outs," the camera panned across the Bass showing Sierra, Lightning, Scott, and Sam with a marshmallow each before cutting to Scarlett receiving her treat from the smiling host. "There is only _one_ marshmallow left on this plate."

The shot cut to Sugar and B at the campfire, the quiet one looking more confident than he'd been at the previous elimination, while the pageant queen had changed back to her normal clothes, added a tiara and bouquet, and was crying softly to herself.

"B," the host continued, "you showed us all what can be done with a pile of _garbage_." The young man smirked. ""And Sugar," the young woman sniffled, "your Craptry just _was _garbage. And considering how much your team was _counting_ on you living up to your own hype, I don't think _anybody's_ gonna be surprised when I give this final marshamallow," he paused as the camera focused in on the ball of white, "to _B_."

A quick pan over the remaining Bass showed a mixture of relief that Sugar was gone, lack of concern, and general annoyance. Chef appeared and escorted a Sugar down the Dock of Shame, and the sobbing young woman managed to choke out a few last words. "Competition should _not_ be based on _points_!" she lamented. "Instead, you should be judged on yer general _awesomeness_, which means _I_ should still be in the game!"

"Save it for someone who cares," Chef grunted as they reached the Boat of Losers.

The scene cut back to the campfire. "That's three losses in a row, Killer Bass!" Chris mocked them. "You'd better start turning things _around_ before there's none of you left!"

xxx

"While our current losing streak is compatible with the null hypothesis of our team members lacking sufficient challenge-relevant skills in comparison to the Screaming Gophers," Scarlett explained amidst the flies, "I am also investigating the possibility of there being one or more people deliberately inhibiting the Killer Bass' chances at victory beyond simple opposition." She adjusted her glasses before continuing. "It's _obvious_ that Alejandro is attempting to manipulate the other campers, but I lack sufficient data to come to make any conclusions regarding his overall control of the game. If I find evidence of his, or anyone else's misconduct," she narrowed her eyes, "I may see fit to _end_ it."

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

**Author's Note - Post Script**

Well, Sugar's elimination was a fairly easy decision for me to make. Not only does it trim away one of the many villains, it also means I didn't have to figure out who could save things for the Bass after her performance. It also allows me to parallel canon a bit - just as it was Harold who caused his team's victory for the dodgeball game and talent show, so too did Beardo's skills allow the Gophers to win. Incidentally, I hope you all enjoyed his show, I deliberately wanted something beyond his normal beatboxing - it worked for Harold, but Harold hadn't shown the skill beforehand so I wanted to have Beardo do something _more_.

I claim no great understanding of skateboarding or cheerleading beyond what I gleaned off wikipedia, so hopefully those two acts weren't awkward to read. The same goes for, uh, flirting...not particularly experienced in that regard either, and it doesn't help that neither Lightning nor Amy ever showed interest in someone in canon.

Perhaps more importantly, I hope nobody is irked that I basically cribbed the scenes of Dakota's return and Sugar's fall. The latter especially, as I'm not nearly as good with writing lyrics as I am with stories. Regarding Dakota's return as an intern, I had planned it from the start, but pushed it back to this episode because episode 4's elimination scene was so short.

I think that's all I wanted to say right now, so let me know what you think!

- Fangren

* * *

**Appendix: TSI Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (22nd Place)

Dakota - (21st Place)

Ezekiel - (20th Place)

Sugar - (19th Place)


	6. Chapter 6 - The Sucky Outdoors

**Author's Note**

I know you've all been waiting, so here it is! Episode 7 ended up not being as much of a pain as I thought it was, especially not once I got into the hang of things. It also helps that I've finally gotten around to drafting up a tentative list of eliminations for the entire season - the one pre-merge are set in stone, but I'm leaving the others more-or-less up to revision if I feel the need. I do have a decent idea of who is going to win, though.

With respect to the reviewers:

**80jj and Bellyacher:** Thanks as always! I figured Sugar's elimination (and Dakota return) were reasonable.

**Sleep Arypsure and Madison Wooten:** Same as above, but I'd also like to point out that not all current ship teases are strictly final! Well, aside from Gidgette at least.

**Anonymous Guest #2:** I'm glad you liked the acts!

With all that said, enjoy the show!

- Fangren

* * *

**Episode 6 – The Sucky Outdoors**

"Last time, on Total Drama Island!" Chris' recap began, the footage starting with the 'clashing logos' animation used in the previous episode. "A _talent contest_ brought out the _worst_ in our campers," the host said over shots of the campers seated and facing the stage, as well as the collapse of both Amy and Sammy's cheer and B's replica of the island. "_It_ was _awesome_!"

"While _Jo_ took charge for the Gophers," the jock-ette was shown blowing her whistle in front of her team, "the Killer Bass let pageant vet _Sugar_ call the shots," Sugar's puffed-up strut was followed by Bridgette and Sierra getting rejected. "After struggling to find two teammates with actual _talent_, she _failed_ to live up to her _own_ hype by showing us her '_Crap_try'," clips of Sugar's disastrous performance were shown next with particular emphasis on her ear-splitting high note. "Needless to say, it cost her team the _challenge_, and they voted her butt _off_ the island."

"_Who_ will be the next one to walk off this _crappy dock_?" Chris asked while walking down the dock in question. "Find out _tonight_, in the _most_ dramatic marshmallow ceremony _ever_! On Total! Drama! _Island_!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

_Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

_You guys are on my mind!_

_Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

_And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

_I wanna be...famous!_

_I wanna live close to the sun!_

_Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

_Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

_I'll get there one day._

_'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

_(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

The sun was already high in the sky as the episode started, panning down to show all eighteen campers and the host gathered around the campfire pit. "Campers," Chris began as the camera cut to a closer shot, "today's challenge will _test_ your outdoor survival skills." The camera panned over to the campers, the switched to the host's close-up. "I'm not gonna _lie_ to you, some of you _may_ not come back alive!"

Beardo, Beth, and the twins were shown gasping at the Gopher's end of the seating area, while Jo merely scowled. "Just joking!" Chris told them with a laugh. "All you have to do is spend one night in the woods." The camera panned over the Gophers again, showing their relief. "_Everything_ you need is at your team's campsite in the forest, you just have to _find_ it." He tossed a map and compass to each team, being caught by Jo and Lightning respectively.

"_Oh_, and watch out for _bears_. Lost a couple of interns in pre-production." Chris showed absolutely no remorse, and the campers were shown starting to get up. "First team back for breakfast wins _invincibility_!" He sounded an air horn and waved for the teams to leave the campfire pit. "Well, off you go!"

"Did, uh, did he say there were _bears_ out there?" Sammy asked hesitantly.

"Not to worry!" Alejandro told her, getting close enough to elicit a blush. "Between Shawn, Jo, and myself, we'll be _sure_ to pass the night safe and bear-free!" He noticed the Bass walking past, and continued just a bit louder. "Of course, with a player as intelligent as Scarlett, I'm sure the Bass will have no problems either."

Scarlett raised an eyebrow. "I'm certain we will. I made it a point to research methods of repelling both _Ursus americanus_ and _Ursus arctos_, in addition to several _other_ predator species, before arriving on the island."

"Well then," Alejandro gave her a smile, "may the best team win."

xxx

"Assuming that Alejandro _is_ attempting to verbally manipulate the Killer Bass," Scarlett explained to the confessional cam, "it is likely that his next target is myself. As such, I will need to act with caution, and prevent myself from standing out in the event that we lose again."

xxx

The Gopher logo appeared in the corner of the screen as the camera panned down, revealing them walking down a trail with Jo leading the charge.

"Alright," she told her alliance mates trailing behind her, "here's the plan for today. We've been doing great so _far_, and I intend on keeping our winning streak going for as _long_ as possible."

"Well, this challenge seems pretty straightforward," Beth said, "we just hafta wake up earlier than the Killer Bass and we'll win, right?"

Beardo nodded. "Yeah, seems pretty easy."

"I wouldn't _count_ on it," Jo countered. "Remember, _they're_ probably gonna wake up as early as they can too, so _we_ need another way of making sure they don't get back _before_ us."

Beth and Beardo shared a questioning look. "So how're we gonna do _that_?" the girl asked.

A flash transitioned the scene to the Killer Bass, the focus being on Scott and Scarlett running in the front of their team.

"Uggh, where'd that idiot _go_?" Scott complained. "Whose idea was it to give the map and compass to the guy who always has to charge _ahead_?"

"To the extent that any one individual can be blamed for the present situation," Scarlett answered, "_Chris_. _He_ threw them close enough to Lightning to be caught."

"Uh, _right_," Scott said back. "But still, it sure is bad of _Lightning_ to just run ahead like that. I mean, what if we get _lost_?"

Scarlett just kept running.

xxx

"Okay, I know I said I was going after _Bridgette_ next," Scott confessed, "but I can't exactly pass up the chance to pick off _Lightning_, can I?" He snorted and grinned. "_Especially_ since I caught him making out with one of those _cheerleaders_ the other day."

xxx

Cutting back to the Gophers, the shot focused on the four boys not involved in an alliance. "So, _bromigos_," Alejandro opened, "I think we need to do something about _those_ three." The viewpoint shifted behind him, showing Beardo, Beth, and Jo.

"I don't know, man," DJ said as the camera cut to him. "Beth and Beardo are pretty cool, I don't wanna vote 'em out."

"Ah yes," Alejandro retorted, "but what about _Jo_? She is clearly the _ringleader_ of their alliance, and hasn't exactly been _pleasant_ to be around." DJ scratched the back of his neck and looked uncertain.

"I know what you mean!" Topher added. "She's got _no_ appreciation for beauty! She has _got_ to go."

Alejandro looked at Shawn expectantly. "Hey leave me _out_ of this," he said quickly, putting his hands in front of him. "As bossy as Jo is, she's pretty capable, and I've gotta respect that."

"Fair enough," the charmer said.

Another flash returned the focus to the Killer Bass.

"Man, where _were_ you guys?" Lightning admonished his tired teammates.

"Tryin' to keep _up_ with you, dude!" Geoff said as he caught his breath. "You're _way_ fast, man."

"I _know_," the uber-jock replied, "I just wish the same could said for the _rest_ of you!"

"At _least_ tell me we're close to the campsite?" demanded Scarlett.

"Campsite?" Lightning repeated. "How the heck should _I_ know, I only looked at the map _once_!"

Scarlett glared at the jock, and swiped the map and compass. She studied the two for a moment, and started to continue down the trail. "Lucky for _you_, we're within one-hundred meters of the location marked on the map."

"See," Lightning said smugly, "I _knew_ I was goin' the right way!"

The scene changed to the top of a tall pine, which panned down to show the Screaming Gophers in a clearing with a few sleeping bags and other camping gear.

"Okay, according to _this_ we need to _find_ our food," Jo read from the map. "So who's up for some hunting and gathering?"

"On it!" Shawn offered first. "I'm pretty good at identifying edible _flora_."

"Oh, may I come as well?" Dawn asked second. "I do so enjoy the gifts of the Earth Mother."

The survivalist shrugged. "Suit yourself. Anyone else coming?"

"Samey, make yourself _useful_ for once and go _with_ them!" Amy demanded, pushing her sister forward.

As Sammy sighed and joined her teammates, Alejandro stepped forward. "If nobody objects, I think I'll try and catch some fish – add a bit of _variety_ to our diet."

Jo nodded at him. "Okay then, the _rest_ of us will stay here and set up camp."

"So, what are we gonna do about food?" Bridgette asked as the scene shifted to the Bass.

"One or more of us will have to forage," Scarlett responded as she helped B make quick work of their team's tent. "Preferably someone familiar with this island's flora, fauna, and fungi." She noticed the generally blank looks of the others and her face fell. "I'll take care of it," she sighed. "The rest of you get to work building a fire pit and a means of making loud noises."

"I don't get what the big _deal_ is about nuts and berries," Scott grumbled. "Why bother wandering around looking for 'em when we can just snack on a few clods?" He bent down and scooped up a handful of dirt and shoved it in his mouth.

The ones watching him recoiled in disgust. "That's soooo _gross_!" Bridgette said.

Scott rolled his eyes. "What, too _good_ for it? Fine, what do _I_ care." He snorted and walked away from the group.

Back with the Gophers, the six teens had finished setting up and were now waiting for the food to arrive.

"Oh em _gee_, what is _taking_ them so long!" Amy complained, slumping against the tent.

"I'm sure they'll be back soon, _right_?" Beth wondered aloud.

"Never fear," announced a voice just out of view, "the _fish_ is here!" The camera panned over to show Alejandro emerging from the forest with a few fish tied up with twine.

"It's about time!" Jo called as the talented young man reunited with the team.

"Yes, well, I apologize for making you all wait," Alejandro told her, looking around the clearing. "Where are the three who went foraging? I thought for _sure_ they'd have gotten back before me."

"Right here!" exclaimed Shawn, jumping out of the trees with a sack full of nuts and berries. Moments later, Dawn and Sammy arrived with a similarly large bounty. "Turns out this island's got a pretty good stock of berries, even _if_ they're a bit spread-out."

"Yeah, but Dawn had _no_ problem finding them," Sammy told the group, "it's like she has some sort of...berry _radar_!"

"It's simple if you know what to look for," Dawn explained happily, "and are sensitive to the energies of the Universe."

"Don't know what that _means_," Jo said, "but it looks like we've got ourselves a _meal_!"

The camera cut back to the part of the forest where the Killer Bass, campsite now set up, awaited the return of Scarlett.

"I hope she gets back soon, I'm _starving_!" Bridgette groaned along with her stomach.

"Hah! I know what you mean," Geoff added as he sat down next to her, "if a bear _does_ show up, I could probably just eat _it_!"

His attempt at humor backfired as the girl beside him looked horrified. "You're not _serious_ are you? I mean, I know it's a _bear_, but it's just looking for _food_!"

"Whoa, chill!" Geoff said quickly. "It was just a joke! I'd never actually _eat_ a bear!" Bridgette was momentarily relieved before the party boy opened his mouth again after a bit of thought. "Well, unless it tasted _good_, I guess."

Bridgette groaned.

xxx

"How was _I_ supposed to know she's a vegetarian?" Geoff smacked his face in the confessional. "Man, I hope I didn't just _blow_ it with her."

xxx

"Hey look," Sam cried with a gesture the camera followed to the edge of a trail, "Scarlett's back!"

The hungry teens looked at her expectantly, and were rewarded by a pile of blueberries dumped on one of the sleeping bags. "_Vaccinium angustifolium_," she announced. "I found several bushes along the trail. It isn't nutritionally ideal, but if we return to the bushes we should be able to collect a sufficient amount for the next several hours."

"Great job!" Bridgette exclaimed, sampling a few of the berries.

"Thank you," Scarlett answered, "but as I implied this will provide neither the nutrients nor the calories we require. I need at least two of you to accompany me in another foraging trip before it gets dark."

Geoff shrugged. "Guess I'll go. Need to make sure we find some non-animal food for dinner." He winked at Bridgette, who rolled her eyes.

"I'll come too," Sam volunteered. "I need to do _something_ to take my mind off not having any video games."

Scarlett nodded, and the three set off back into the woods.

The footage skipped ahead to a shot of the moon rising over the island, the Gopher logo appearing in the corner of the screen. A cut showed their fish cooking over an open fire tended by Alejandro and Jo, most of the others gathered around and waiting.

A rustling attracted their attention and the camera panned to DJ emerging from the bushes with several piece of wood under his arms and something small and furry in his hands. "Hey guys, look what I found!" he told his team as the camera zoomed to the animal he'd brought back with him – a gray rabbit, which coughed when he pet it.

"Oh, it's so _cute_!" Dawn gushed as DJ brought it over for the others to see.

Jo looked at it quizzically from the fire. "A _rabbit_, eh? We don't really need it, but I guess we can never have _too_ much food."

Both Dawn and DJ looked horrified at the suggestion. "Hey, this is my new _pet_!" DJ protested, turning the rabbit away from Jo. "I'm callin' him _Bunny_!"

"Make sure to keep him happy and safe," Dawn advised. "He's not used to _humans_ yet, and I wouldn't want him to come to harm because of a simple mistake."

"Yeah, I'll do my best to take good care of him," DJ agreed as he offered Bunny a few bits of green to nibble on.

The shot cut to Jo rolling her eyes, and walking over to Beth and Beardo. "Eat quickly, you two, I wanna get started before it gets too _dark_."

"Do we really _have_ to?" Beth asked, swallowing a few berries. "I mean, what if we can't find the other team?" She gasped suddenly. "What if we can't find the way back to _our_ team?"

Jo scowled. "Do you wanna win or _not_? As long as _we_ can find our way back to camp and the Bass can't, it doesn't _matter_ where we spend the night!"

Beth and Beardo shared an uncertain look, and Jo's scowl deepened. "Of course, if you don't _want_ to do what I tell you to, I can always find someone _else_ to take with me to the end of the game."

Her alliance-mates became very nervous, and the camera cut away from them.

"Yo, Lightning's gonna go take a _whiz_!" the jock announced as the shot cut back to the Bass' fire.

As Lightning left the clearing, a smirk flashed across Scott's face. "Yeah, I think I'm gonna go take care of some business _too_..." Neither boy's activities were given any particular attention from their teammates. The camera followed Scott as he walked away from the campsite, and once he'd gotten out of their sight he began sneaking in the direction Lightning had went.

The scene switched back to the other Bass sitting around their campfire. "...so anyway, the _entire_ collection ended up _covered_ in punch," Geoff recounted to his mildly interested teammates, "so _naturally_ my buddy was in pretty big trouble. His parents grounded him for like a _month_, and he _still_ isn't allowed to have any _parties_ at his house, and..."

He was cut off by a hooting owl, which caused the blonde sitting next to him to shudder. "Somethin' wrong?" he asked her. "S'just an _owl_."

Bridgette sighed and rubbed her arm. "I know, I just get _really_ freaked out in the forest."

Sam chuckled. "Really? Seems like an animal lover like you would feel at home out here."

The surfer girl looked down. "I _know_, but it's just...I don't know, there's _so much_ that could be _out_ there. I'm just glad you guys are all here or else I'd _really_ be freaking out."

Geoff sidled up close to her and put a hand on her shoulder. "Hey it's all cool! As long as I'm here, you don't have to worry about a _thing_."

The scene cut to a close-up of Lightning, whistling as he stood behind a bush. The music grew tense and eerie as Scott was shown peering out several times from the trees behind the jock. A twig snapped, alerting the jock who looked to his right. The camera panned the other way, showing Scott with a large stick raised over his head. The redheaded schemer brought the makeshift club down upon his unaware victim, knocking the boy out cold.

"And _that_, my friends, is the tale of how I got my driver's license." Alejandro finished with a bow as the camera cut back to the Screaming Gophers.

"Man, that was _amazin_'," DJ told him while stroking Bunny's head. "Who knew you could _do_ that with a garden hose and a golf cart." Most of the others shown on-screen nodded their agreement; only Dawn looked unimpressed.

xxx

"Alejandro is _not_ the good person he makes himself out to be," Dawn attested in the outhouse confessional. "He loves nothing more than _manipulating_ people;" her grimace softened for a moment, "it's a prominent part of his aura, along with his loneliness and _brother_ issues. I will do my best to _resist_ him, but I fear I will not be able to prevent him from hurting the others."

xxx

A rustling bush caught Alejandro's attention. "Ah, perhaps Jo and the others have finally decided to return to us?" he asked with a hint of smugness.

Rather than Jo, or Beth, or Beardo, or any _other_ human, it was a large brown bear that entered the clearing.

"BEAR!" Shawn shouted immediately. "Get to the trees!" Not missing a beat, the survivalist scrambled up as high and as fast as he could. DJ yelped and scrambled after him, and the other Screaming Gophers lived up to their team name and followed suit.

Only Alejandro and Dawn remained on the ground. "Surely it _must_ be a fake?" the young man said, struggling to hide his own fear. "Chris would _never_ allow such a _beast_ to freely roam the island?" The bear growled and stood up on it's hind legs. "Would he?" Alejandro said, backing away slowly.

"Oh no," Dawn told him calmly, "it's _quite_ real." With one teammate between her and the bear and the rest either missing or up a tree, the petite blonde walked up to the remaining fish unhindered. "There there, I know you're just curious and hungry," she told the bear, walking closer to it and tossing the cooked food in front of it. "We mean you no harm, and we'll be gone in the morning, so you don't have to worry."

The looked Dawn, then sniffed the fish, and looked at Dawn again. She smiled, and the bear seemed to smile too; it grabbed the fish in it's mouth and lumbered away. The seven teens remained where they were for a few moments until the petite blonde returned to her seat by the fire. "You can come down now, we should be safe for the rest of the night."

"Oh em gee-" Sammy began as she dropped down to the ground.

"-that was-" DJ added, landing with a thud.

"-_amazing_!" Shawn finished, merely poking his head out of the branches. "Where'd you learn to _do_ that?"

Dawn shrugged. "I just listened to what it _wanted_, that's all."

A few clouds were shown in front of the moon as the scene shifted to the other group of Gophers. "If I remember right," Jo said, "the Bass headed _east_ when the challenge started." The jock-ette was shown squinting at their team's map and compass in the moonlight. "Meaning their camp should be..._this_ way!" She pointed to her left, and ran off.

"Are you _sure_ it's okay to take the map without letting the others know?" Beth panted as she struggled to keep up.

"They'll be _fine_," Jo assured. "One of them _has_ to remember how we got to our campsite, so they should have no _problem_ getting back!"

"If you _say_ so..." the shorter girl said.

A sudden noise caused Jo to stop, and her allies to nearly run into her. She motioned for them to stay quiet, but Beardo made an owl's hoot on impulse. He didn't see Jo's scowl, but the trio did catch sight of a raccoon close to where the mystery noise had come from.

"Looks like we lucked out," Jo told them after a moment. "Now come on, we gotta be _quick_! You two remember the plan, right?"

"Once we find their camp," Beardo answered, "I make a bunch of bear noises to scare 'em away from their campsite."

Beth continued. "And with them distracted, you and I take their supplies and try to keep them from finding their way back."

"Exactly!" Jo said. "Now we just need to find 'em..." She squinted at the map again, but as a quick shot of the sky revealed, there were too many clouds in the sky for her to read by. "Hold on...I think we need to go...that way!" She pointed in a different direction, and the three started off again.

A wolf howled as the scene switched to a view of the Bass's campsite from the forest. The fire was still going, and was tended to by Sam, but the other members of the team were out of sight. The camera adjusted a bit to show Scott watching the scene from afar, before cutting to a top-down perspective inside the tent.

The six teens had laid in a circle and most were trying to get to sleep, but Bridgette kept squirming uncomfortably. "If there's something you need to do," Scarlett said suddenly, "please make it quick. I'd rather not disturb our sleep anymore than is necessary."

"R-right..." Bridgette muttered nervously. She sat up and lingered for a moment, before the camera cut to the outside of the tent just as the surfer exited it.

"Eh?" Sam grunted. "Oh, hey! Have to pee or somethin'?"

"Yeah...I'll be back in a bit..." she gulped, and started to turn away. The two teens were startled by a sudden noise in the bushes. Their eyes darted to it and they became still. Another noise came from a different direction, causing the two to start.

The shot cut back to Scott, snickering behind a tree. He peeked out at his teammates, and picked up a stone from the ground. "Just a little more..." he muttered, slinging the rock high. It hit the side of a large tree and bounced off, startling the animals that had been resting within a hollow.

A few bats swarmed the air and flew towards Bridgette and Sam; one managed to fly into the poor girl's face as the teens cried in alarm. Bridgette, panicked and blind, stumbled around the campsite until she tripped backwards over one of the rocks lining the fire pit. A cinder was sent flying and landed on her team's tent, causing it to burst into flame and become ash in seconds.

Fortunately, none of the Bass had been harmed, although they did look fairly annoyed with Bridgette and Sam. It was then that Scott showed himself, the camera catching him don a false look of concern beforehand. "Hey, are you guys alright?" He didn't notice the brief look Scarlett gave him.

The footage skipped back to the main group of Gophers. "I wonder where the others went?" DJ asked as he and the others finished off the last of their food.

"I'm fairly certain they went off on some ill-advised quest to delay the Bass," Alejandro answered. "I applaud their desire to help us _win_, of course, but I would prefer they found some other way to do it."

"I hope they didn't run into that _bear_," Sammy said. "I don't think they'll be able to convince it to leave as easily as Dawn did."

Amy rolled her eyes. "You _would_ want them to get hurt, wouldn't you? Uggh, that is _so_ like you Samey. I mean, just because they're _better_ than you doesn't mean they should be _hurt_!"

"What?" Sammy blustered. "But I-"

"Yeah," Topher added, "that _is_ pretty terrible of you, Samey."

The younger twin hung her head in resignation, only picking it up when another camper began to talk. "What're you talkin' about?" DJ objected. "She didn't say anything _like_ that!"

"I agree," Dawn said, "she is just as concerned for the well-being of our teammates as...well, _most_ of us are."

"Clearly, Amy _misheard_ her sister and jumped to conclusions," Alejandro interjected. "Perhaps we should take that as a sign to turn in for the night?" Amy just huffed and glared at her sister.

The scene cut back to the Bass, with Bridgette standing sheepish before her team. "_No_, Scott, we are most certainly _not_ alright." Scarlett hissed, not taking her eyes off her blonde roommate. "We are still functioning on inadequate sustenance, and now we are in need of _shelter_. Additionally, Lightning has yet to return from _relieving_ himself."

"Whoa, hey, _chill_!" Geoff told the prim young woman. "I mean _yeah_, it sucks that we don't have a tent anymore, but it could be _worse_, right?"

A single drop on the brim of his hat heralded the start of a downpour.

"_Yes_, Geoff" Scarlett deadpanned, "it _could_ be."

The background music turned deep and dangerous as shots of the three groups were shown weathering the thunderstorm. First Jo, Beth, and Beardo were shown taking shelter in a cave, then the Gophers were shown ducking into their tent, Shawn sitting nervously in his tree, and finally the Bass were shown again, sitting under a large leaf held up by Sam.

The scene faded into a shot of the sun rising into the sky. Birds could be heard singing as the camera panned down to show Topher stretching as he exited the tent, followed by Alejandro.

"Well, _that_ didn't do me any favors," the white boy mentioned. "I can't wait to get back to camp, I must look like a _wreck_!"

"Agreed," the other handsome boy added. "We can only hope Jo and the others made it through the night safely. For now, we must head back to camp."

"Yeah, well," Shawn told the two, jumping down from his tree, "wherever they are, they probably have the map. Good thing I know how we _got_ here, otherwise we'd have a _big_ disadvantage getting back."

Another cut showed Jo standing at the mouth of the cave she'd entered the night before. She blew her whistle, startling her two teammates out of their slumber. "Alright, listen up!" she barked, pacing around in front of them. "Last night didn't go to plan, I'll admit that, but we still have the map and compass, so we _will_ make it back to camp before the Killer Bass, _got it?_"

Beth rubbed her eyes, then immediately started wheezing and pointing wildly at something behind Jo. Their male companion's eyes also went wide, and he immediately began a number of different sirens.

"What are you...?" Jo asked in bewilderment, finally bothering to turn around.

Behind her was a very large and fairly irate brown bear. It reared up on its hind legs and growled, sending the three Gophers running.

Back with the Bass, seven teens were shown sleeping rather peacefully before the camera zoomed in on Scarlett laying between B and Sierra.. She blearily opened her eyes, blinked, then bolted upright.

"Get up!" she commanded, getting to her feet and immediately checking her own pockets for the map and compass. "Get up, all of you! We need to get back to camp!"

"What about Lightning?" Bridgette yawned. "Did he ever come back?"

"No time!" Scarlett commanded once again.

xxx

"Yeah, I dragged him _pretty_ far away last night," Scott gloated from atop the toilet of inner thoughts. "No _clue_ what happened to him after that."

xxx

The music became tense and the footage skipped ahead to a sot of Chris drinking from a thermos while Dakota prodded the main campfire pit with a stick, both with their backs turned to the camera. The host turned around just as the scene zoomed out to show the Killer Bass arriving.

"Hey!" Sam called, "We got back first!"

Moments later, the Screaming Gophers returned as well. "They beat us here!" Alejandro cried as he crossed under the wooden entrance.

"This is all _your_ fault, Samey," the elder twin spat.

"Uh-uh-uh, not so _fast_, Gopherinos!" Chris waggled a finger at them. "It seems _both_ teams are missing a few _players_!"

"Pretty sure Lightning got _eaten_ last night," Scott sneered. Scarlett gave him another questioning look.

"On the other hand," Alejandro smirked as he caught something out of the corner of his eye, "_our_ team seems to be present and accounted for."

Jo came running into view, trailed by Beardo and Beth. "Did we make it?" she asked immediately. She was met by smiles and nods from her teammates, and pumped her fist.

"Where _is_ he?" Scarlett muttered.

"Who knows," Scott told her. "Maybe you should try asking his _girlfriend_?" He sent a nasty smirk towards the twins.

"Ex_cuse_ me?!" Amy exclaimed, "I haven't seen him since the challenge _started_!"

"_Sure_ you didn't..." Scott replied.

As the schemer walked away, the cheerleader finally noticed the looks she was getting from the other campers. "_What_? So I made out with him a few times, big _deal_!"

At that moment Lightning was shown sliding into the area, a few leaves and twigs in his hair and clothes. "Finally made it!" he announced, unaware of the glares from his teammates. "Man, I have _no_ idea what happened last night. One minute I'm doin' my business, next minute I'm wakin' up getting' sniffed by a _bear_! Managed to outrun it _easy_, but I had to spend the night in a _tree_. So what'd I miss?"

It was Scarlett who answered him. "You _missed_ us losing the _challenge_!"

"Aww, dang!" Lightning exclaimed. "Which one of you made us _lose_?" He quickly looked over the other campers, and noticed Amy standing apart from the rest. He shot her a cocky grin and a pair of finger pistols."Hey boo! You miss me?"

The camera switched over to the grinning host. "Alright, Killer Bass! One of your fishy butts is going _home_!" He turned to the other team. "Gophers! You're going on an all-expense-paid trip _to_," a drum roll began, "the Tuck Shoppe!" The sound of an old cash register opening was played as the Gophers ran off to claim their prize. The Bass gasped, and glared at the still-oblivious Lightning.

The background music changed to a hip hop tune as the Screaming Gophers were shown celebrating in front of their cabin. Beardo beatboxed for a bit, ending with a happy "Win~!" He popped a few chips in his mouth, then passed the bag to Beth.

"Chocodiles?" DJ offered to his teammate, but Alejandro waved them away.

"No thanks, amigo," he said with a smile. "Still, I am quite enjoying our winning streak."

"Yeah," Jo said cockily, "Screaming Gophers _rule_!"

The music switched again to the tense and foreboding melody reserved for the elimination ceremonies.

"You've all cast your votes," Chris said as the camera came in for his standard close-up. "The camper who does not receive a marshmallow must _immediately_ hit the Dock of Shame, grab the Boat of Losers," his brow furrowed as he gestured towards the dock, "and get the heck _outta_ here! _And_!" he thrust a finger into the air before tapping it on his makeshift podium. "You can't come back. _Ever_."

The shot changed to show the Killer Bass as the host continued to speak. "Now, I can see you're all tired, so _tonight_," the camera switched back to the host with a marshmallow in his hand, "I'll just _throw_ them to you. Savvy? Scarlett!"

The redhead was shown accepting her prize with a smile. "Scott!" Likewise, the other redheaded Bass was shown making his catch. "Sierra! B! Sam! Geoff!" One by one, the camera panned to each camper happily accepting their marshmallow until only two were left. "Bridgette, Lightning!" The surfer looked scared, but the jock did not. Chris continued. "This is the final marshmallow of the evening!"

The bottom two campers were shown again, Lightning having decided to smirk at the girl sitting next to him. "Bridgette! The host announced, and she eagerly caught the bit of white.

"Sha-w_hat_?!" Lightning exclaimed, eyes popping forward. "You're getting' rid of _me_? But I'm the strongest player in the _game_, you'll _never_ win without _me_!" He stood up and thrust an accusatory finger at his former teammates.

"Yeah, well, we weren't winning _with_ you, so it's no big loss." Scott told him.

The scene cut to Lightning being dragged down the dock by Chef. "You'll regret this, you'll _all_ regret this! Every last one of you is a sha-_loser_!"

He was cut off by a bout of static.

xxx

Scarlett adjusted her glasses before beginning her confessional. "After reviewing recent events, I believe my previous hypothesis regarding the cause of the Killer Bass' losing streak is not sufficiently explained by the data at hand. Instead, I propose a _new_ hypothesis: that _Scott_, for currently unknown reasons, is _intentionally_ sabotaging the team." She fixed her eyes into a glare. "I have yet to test this hypothesis, but if I am able to verify it, then I _will_ take steps to ensure he is eliminated next."

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

**Author's Note - Post Script**

I hope what Scott did to Lightning wasn't too brutal and/or out-of-character. Also the fact that Jo and company failed to do anything meaningful to the Bass; I basically needed them to do something to fill in the time left behind by a lack of Katie and Sadie getting separated.

Also, yeah, Lightning's gone. Sorry to those, if any, who were looking forward to LightAmy!

That's all I have to say for now, so for now just sit back and look forward to next time!

- Fangren


	7. Chapter 7 - Phobia Factor

**Author's Note**

Here it is! This was both a fun and yet annoying episode to write due to the fears, as well as a few other things. Obviously, I kept the canon fears as they were, but I had to get a bit creative for some of the others, especially for those who wouldn't really admit to having a big fear. Hopefully you'll all enjoy what I came up with!

With respect to the reviewers:

**Sleep Arypsure:** Oh no, I didn't think you were being rude at all! I apologize for (unintentionally) making it seem that way.

**XxRin-sanxX:** Well, let's see. First of all, I'm glad you've decided to review each chapter! Feedback is always good. For the early chapters, I'm still trying to keep the eliminations more-or-less predictable, but as time goes on their should hopefully be a few surprises. Having so many villains has certainly made writing things interesting, but fortunately I decided on my main villain for the season almost immediately. The rest, starting with Sugar's easy elimination, will basically be secondary for the time being. Regarding the calling out of the second challenge's real timeline, I probably should not have done it outside an author's note, but it's always bothered me. I'm glad that you've been finding everyone in-character so far, and that you like LightAmy as well as DJammy and Dawmmy. Other than that, thanks!

**Madison Wooten:** Yeah, Jo's fear took some thinking. Also, had to re-watch Lightning's elimination in All-Stars to figure out how he'd take it.

**EvilAngel666:** I'm glad you enjoyed it! I've also been enjoying the various interactions between the villains, Soctt and Scarlett included.

**acosta pereze jose ramiro, Bellyacher, and RedHornedUnicorn:** I'm glad you all enjoyed it! Also that my writing quality has apparently been so consistent.

**80jj:** Yeah, I've been re-watching the seasons lately, and watched that episode a few days after I wrote or posted that chapter as I recall. Still, glad Lightning's elimination went so smoothly from an authorial point of view (although I did forget to include the updated elimination table in the last chapter).

With all that said, it's time for the next episode! Enjoy!

- Fangren

* * *

**Episode 7 – Phobia Factor**

"Last time, on Total Drama Island!"

The recap began with shot of both teams setting up at their campsites. "The campers had their survival skills put to the _test_ when they spent the entire night camping in the woods." Clips of the various highlights were played as they were mentioned by the host. "Scott continued to sabotage his own team by hitting Lightning over the head with a club, and Dawn managed to save her team from a bear by giving it _most_ of their food. Jo decided to go mess with the Bass but got her, Beth, and Beardo lost, which _sucked_ for them. Bridgette burned down her team's tent, which sucked even _more_, and then it _rained_. Basically, no one got any sleep last night. Ultimately, the Killer Bass were on the chopping block _again_, leaving Lightning without a marshmallow."

After the athelete's departure was shown, the shot cut to a close-up of a pile of wood being prodded by a stick. "Yup, the challenge was rough alright," Chris was shown holding the stick at the campfire pit, "and if _I_ have anything to say about it, today's will be even more _brutal_." the music picked up dramatically as the host's full body was shown, hitting the stick against his other hand. "Luckily, I _do_. What fresh horror have we planned for our campers? Find out next, on Total! Drama! Island!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

_Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

_You guys are on my mind!_

_Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

_And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

_I wanna be...famous!_

_I wanna live close to the sun!_

_Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

_Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

_I'll get there one day._

_'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

_(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

The scene opened with a pan down from the night sky to reveal the seven remaining members of the Killer Bass seated around the campfire pit.

"Man, who knew losing four times in a row would be such a _bummer_?" Geoff mused, sadly poking the fire with a stick.

"I know," Bridgette concurred, "we have _got_ to start winning challenges."

Scott snorted. "Easier said than done. We're three players in the hole, what could we _possibly_ do to catch up?"

"That doesn't mean we should stop trying!" Bridgette countered. "Come on, B, Scarlett, you're both smart, do either of _you_ have any ideas?" She looked first at the large silent one, who frowned and shook his head.

The camera cut to Scarlett, who took her glasses off and started cleaning them with a cloth pulled from a pocket. "It isn't that simple," she sighed. "If I knew the challenges ahead of time I could formulate a more thorough strategy based upon our relevant strengths and weaknesses, but in lieu of such data long-term planning is significantly more difficult."

"Hah hah, sounds like we could really use a cheat code." Sam chuckled. "Up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-b-a-start, and _bam_! We've got three more guys on our side!"

Scarlett rolled her eyes, then she and Sierra were shown glaring off-screen, "What do _you_ want?" Sierra asked.

"Prob'ly here to rub it in our _faces_," Scott added.

The viewpoint shifted to show that the Screaming Gophers had come to the fire pit, with Beth holding up a plate of flan to be seen.

"Oh no," Alejandro explained, "we merely had extra dessert after our Tuck Shoppe party, and decided to share."

Scott gave them an odd look. "_Why_?"

"Oh _please_," Jo rolled her eyes, "we just had a close encounter with a _skunk_ outside our cabin."

DJ nodded. "Yeah, _we_ managed to get out of the way, but it still got the _cabin_. We're just lettin' the place air out for a while."

"Uggh, you voted out _Lightning_?" Amy spat after a quick scan of the Bass. "Figures." Most of the other teens rolled their eyes.

Beth walked the flan past the fire and presented it to Sam. "GAHH!" he yelled, slapping the plate away as soon as he realized it was close to him. It landed close to Alejandro, who bent over to pick up the plate – the flan itself had landed first, and was ruined.

"You do not like flan?" the charmer asked, eyebrow raised.

"Sorry about that," the gamer scratched the back of his neck, "I just haven't been able to stand the sight of caramel since my Super Gaming System 2000 got covered with the stuff when I was a kid."

"I know how you feel, man," DJ told him. "Me? I can't stand bein' around anything that even _looks_ like a snake."

"Pfft," Shawn scoffed, "why are you afraid of _either_ of those things when we could get attacked by _zombies_ any second?" His eyes darted around the area nervously.

xxx

"And so then they all start _sharing_ their greatest fears," Alejandro began with a look of confusion, "like they didn't even care who _heard_!" He started to tick off fingers. "Beth went into _great_ detail about her mortal fear of being covered in _bugs_, Beardo is afraid of _medical_ _needles_, and even _Scott_ admitted to a fear of _clowns_!" He rubbed his chin in thought, then grinned. "It is an _odd_ feeling to have so many weaknesses handed to me in such a way, but it is _certainly_ a welcome one.""

xxx

As the footage cut back to the campfire pit, the Gophers were shown to have taken seats around it.

"Well, _Samey_ is afraid of goats," Amy announced smugly, "but _I'm_ not afraid of anything!"

"Umm," Sammy replied hesitantly "aren't you afraid of _sheep_?"

The elder twin gasped sharply. "_How_ could you just _say_ that? I'm your _sister_!" The younger girl squirmed under her sister's accusing gaze.

"Well, _I'm_ afraid of getting old," Topher declared as the camera panned to him. "I mean, could you _imagine _me with _wrinkles_?" He shuddered.

"Robots," Dawn said firmly. "They are _not_ what the Earth Mother intended."

"I'm scared a' hail," Geoff admitted when the shot cut over to the Bass, "it's small, but _deadly_, dude!"

Bridgette was next. "Being left _alone_ in the woods."

The camera panned over to Sierra, who appeared to be thinking. "Probably watching all of Chris' greatest hits get _destroyed,_" she finally said.

It was B's turn, and the mute young man mimed something coming out of his mouth. "B is terrified of public speaking," Dawn interpreted. B gave her a thumbs up.

"I myself do not fear anything," Alejandro said dismissively, "at least, not to the same extent as all of _you_."

"Yeah _right_," Jo scoffed. "There's gotta be _something_ that you can't stand!"

"Is that _so_?" Alejandro responded. "Likewise, I should ask what _you_ are most afraid of!"

Jo gulped as the eyes of the other campers were shown to be on her. "Those...those little _yappy_ dogs..." she muttered.

"Oh _really_?" Scott grinned wickedly. "You mean the small, _fluffy_ ones that old ladies like to have?"

"Ooh, I _love_ those dogs," Amy said, "they're so _cute_! I'm _sooo_ gonna ask Mommy for one when I see her again."

Jo shuddered. "Laugh all you want, but those things are vicious little _monsters_!"

"So, if we had, say, a _Shih Tzu_ here right now..." Topher mused with a glance towards his teammate.

"I'd make whoever brought it _pay_!" the jock-ette snarled. She calmed down, and looked at the only two who hadn't shared a fear yet. "Okay, I said my fear, now it's _your_ turn!"

"Assuming I'm limited to non-_lethal_ stimuli," Scarlett answered, "nothing stands out as eliciting a particularly intense fear response in me. I _will_, however, note a strong aversion to swimming in fluids of _unknown_ but potentially _dangerous_ composition."

Everyone turned to Alejandro expectantly. "I am truly sorry," he told them, "but I simply cannot think of _anything_ that I fear to such an extent!"

Scarlett frowned, Jo rolled her eyes, and the footage skipped ahead to a shot of the island as the sun just peeked above the hills.

The camera zoomed in on the main lodge, and it cut to the inside as Chris whistled to gain the teens' attention. "Campers!" he announced, the point-of-view centered on his back. "Your next challenge is a game I like to call '_Phobia Factor_'! Prepare to face your worst fears!"

"Pretty sure we're already doing that, heh heh." Sam chuckled, poking his amorphous meal with a fork.

"_Now_, for our first _victims_!" Chris continued as the camera showed him standing next to the door. He took a piece of paper out of his pocket and scanned it quickly. "_B_! Meet us all in the theater, it's time to let yourself be _heard_!"

The silent boy's eyes went wide and he started to choke on a bit of food. As Bridgette moved to help him, the host turned his attention to another member of the Killer Bass. "_Scarlett_! You, me, a couple hundred gallons of who-knows-_what_..."

The bespectacled young woman groaned. "Of _course_ he knows..."

"Wait a minute," Geoff said, "you mean to tell me that when we were talkin' around the campfire last night, they were _listening_?" The footage flashed back to the clip of Geoff confessing his fear of hail

Bridgette sighed. "Well, it _is_ a reality show after all..."

"Chef Hatchet!" the host called. "Didn't you have a special order for DJ here today?" The hulking cook grinned nastily as he worked the fryer, He thrust a frying basket at the boy with a single object in it – something battered and fried in the shape of a snake.

Trembling, DJ picked it up and the scene flashed back to show his fear of snakes. DJ looked at the item he was given, bringing it close to his mouth but unwilling to take a bite.

A faint hiss came from inside. Screaming, DJ dropped the fried thing and it burst open – a live snake slithered out and away.

The scene cut ahead to Chris standing in front of a small inflatable pool with the campers gathered around it. The camera panned across the Bass who looked at the pool in disgust, before the clip of Alejandro mentioning Beth's fear in the confessional was replayed. The camera then panned over the Gophers, showing DJ vomit before ending on Beth.

The short girl shrugged and hopped the side of the pool, landing with a distinct squish amongst a writhing mass of worms. She emerged moments later none worse for wear, causing her teammates to cheer and earning a point for the gophers on the on-screen scoreboard. "And Beth sets the bar _way_ up there!"

Topher was shown next, sitting on a stool in the cafeteria as a team of interns – Dakota included – went to work on him. His fear was shown in another flashback, and in a flash the make-up team had finished their work. They stepped away, and Topher was revealed to look like a gray-haired and wrinkly old man.

The twins were next, their portion beginning with a flashback of their fear. Cutting back to the present, the two blondes were shown standing in front of a rather muddy pen containing a number of sheep and goats. "Alright ladies!" Chris told them. "The two of you just need to stay in the pen for _ten minutes_!"

They looked at the thoroughly uninterested animals and gulped.

The next clip was of B, trembling on stage with a stack of papers in his hands. The camera cut to show that every camper not already occupied by their personal challenge was watching him along with both Chef Hatchet and the host himself.

"Just one page buddy, we're all _waiting_!" Chris told him cheerfully. The large young man's eyes darted around, his breaths became shallower, and he started to sweat. He did finally take a deep breath and glued his eyes to the top page of his stack, but as he opened his mouth a buzzer sounded. "Too bad!" the host said with a smile to match the younger man's look of disappointment.

Next was a pan over the Screaming Gophers who watched as Beardo took his turn. He was shown biting his nails for a second before turning around, making the noise of an engine revving and squealing tires, and running away. Chef Hatchet, dressed as a nurse and carrying a comically oversized needle, chased after him.

"Bridgette began her six-hours of solitude in the woods feeling _pretty_ confident," Chris explained over footage of the surfer girl sitting alone on a hollow log.

"I'm _not_ scared," she told herself. "Six hours out here is _nothing_!" A chipmunk popped it's head out from behind the log and approached the human girl with cautious optimism. Bridgette took one look at it, screamed, and sent it flying with a kick. It landed in the lake, and the camera panned up to show the Gophers and Chris walking along the beach.

"_Your_ turn, Alejandro!" the host announced cheerily as the group came upon a moderately-sized room set up next to the lake.

The handsome young man sent the room a nervous but fleeting look. "But I did not _tell _anyone my fear!" he said, quickly realizing his slip and adding "Not that I _have_ one, of course!"

"I _know_," Chris answered. "So we had to do a little _digging_ – and it turns out your brother _Jos__é_ was _more_ than willing to fill us in on a few of your _secrets_, heheh!"

xxx

"_José_," Alejandro muttered through clenched teeth. "He _always_ does things like this! _Every_ time I start to succeed, he's there to punch me in the arm, or call me names, or reveal personal information to TV hosts!"

xxx

"Say _hello_ to the Isolation Chamber!" Chris announced. "For the next _six_ hours you'll be _completely_ cut off from the outside world in a soundproof room devoid of _any_ stimulation!" He opened the door to show a white room, totally empty save a single light embedded in the ceiling. "Heck, there aren't even any _cameras_ in there! The door won't be _locked_, of course, but if you so much as touch the handle then you can say goodbye to any point for your team."

He shoved the wide-eyed boy into the room and slammed the door behind him.

The footage cut to the next camper. DJ stood alone on the stage next to a terrarium on a pedestal; the camera zoomed in to the glass tank to show a small snake eying the gentle giant. DJ looked at it hesitantly, and his admission of fear was played.

"You can do it, DJ!" Dawn said encouragingly from the stands. "I can tell from here that it will do you _no_ harm!" Both human and snake were looking at each other; the serpent blinked and DJ recoiled.

"It _blinked_..." he murmured.

"Just _do_ it already!" Jo exclaimed. "It's freakin' _tiny_!"

"It isn't what you _think_ it is!" Dawn told him. "You can do this, I _know_ you have it in you, I can _see_ it!"

DJ groaned and whimpered, but he inched closer to the tank. Taking a deep breath, he stuck a finger at it off-camera. His grimace changed to a smile as he drew back his finger, showing the tiny animal resting happily atop it. The Gophers cheered and the scoreboard dinged 2-0.

The camera cut back to the twins and the petting zoo of personal terror. Amy and Sammy had both managed to get in the pen, but were keeping as much distance between themselves and the mixed herd of ungulates as possible. A sheep finally wandered in the pair's direction, causing a bout of panic from the older girl. "Take _her_!" Amy cried, shoving her sister towards the animals. To Amy's horror, Sammy had instinctively clutched her abuser's sleeve, causing both girls to land in the mud.

A few more sheep and goats were shown looking in their direction. A few bleated, and the twins screamed.

"Okay, we've still got a few more minutes before Amy and Samey are finished," Chris said as the scene cut to him checking his watch. The host checked his list, then singled out one of the remaining campers behind him. "Let's see now...Shawn, you're _up_!"

The survivalist's well-known fear of zombies was shown again as a means of transitioning to him standing alone in an oddly desolate part of the woods. The walkie-talkie in his hands crackled and the host's voice could be heard once more. "Listen up, brah! I went to the trouble of bringing a couple of these suckers to the island, and," he chuckled darkly, "it looks like they really _liked_ the interns if you know what I mean. _Good luck_!"

The transmission crackled to an end, but Shawn had already figured out what was going on. Thoroughly on-edge, he snapped his attention towards a handful of shuffling figures emerging from the forest around him. He uttered a single word before bolting for the nearest tree. "Zombies!"

Geoff's clip was shown next, and the scene changed to a small, dark cloud covering the sun. Its shadow was shown drifting over Geoff as he lounged unwittingly on a beach chair. As the hail began, the cloud was revealed to be quite small – hovering just a foot or so above the party boy's head as he stood up and tried to escape it. As Geoff ran screaming, the camera panned over to show Chris in another chair, controlling the miniature storm with a device in his hands.

"Heheheh, looks pretty _fun_," Scott snickered nearby. "How hard can you make it _pelt_ him?"

"_Pretty _hard, dude," the host grinned, pushing a button and causing the hail to come down much harder. "But I think you've got your _own_ problems to worry about right now."

Scott raised an eyebrow, and the sound of a honking horn got his attention. Slowly, he turned around.

"Hiya! I heard _you_ could use some cheering up!" It was a male clown, all done up in white make-up and full goofy costume, holding a bicycle horn. Scott screamed and ran. "Wait!" the clown exclaimed, giving chase and honking his horn a few more times.

The camera cut back to Shawn clinging to the top of a tree. Below him, the group of zombies were slowly making their ascent.

"They can _climb_?!" he exclaimed in horror. "Everything I know is _wrong_!" He quickly looked around, and spotted another tree close by. He jumped to it, and nearly bounced off as he desperately tried to grab a branch. He succeeded, but not for long – the impact and his weight caused the branch to snap and Shawn to fall to the undead below.

Eyes wide in fear, he tried to scramble away from them but was stopped by another tree. "Okay..." he muttered nervously, "time for the plan of last resort." He took a deep breath, uttered a battle cry, and charged the zombies.

A montage of kicks, punches, and ill-advised headbutts was shown as Shawn fought his way through the zombies. Strangely, most of the allegedly-mindless things turned and fled in a rather lively fashion. Shawn paid no notice, clobbering zombie after zombie until he stood before a particularly well-put-together one. He went for a punch, but the zombie just ducked and cowered.

"Hey, take it _easy_!" it said in a muffled but familiar whine that gave Shawn pause.

"...'Hey, take it easy'?" he repeated in confusion. He looked back at the zombie's he'd already beaten and the one before him and came to a swift conclusion. "Wait a minute, you aren't zombies at all!"

"_Duh_!" Dakota said, taking off her rubber mask as the other interns groaned and did the same.

"Oh man, that was _awesome_!" Chris said, stepping out from behind a tree. "But yeah, dude, no zombies on the island, I _promise_." Shawn glared at the host even as the scoreboard dinged to show 3-0 in favor of the Gophers.

Sam's caramel-based panic was replayed before the scene changed over to him, the other campers, Chris, and Chef. The cook was stirring a large pot of something distinctively brown and gooey. "You just gotta stay still as Chef pours the _entire_ pot of caramel over you," the host explained.

Sam gulped, and didn't move. Scarlett peered at him, then wordlessly dashed off. As both gamer and cackling cook got into position, she returned with someone else in tow.

"Dakota?" he said as the sugary substance dripped on to his hair.

"Sam?" the blonde answered. "Is that _caramel_?"

Sam chuckled nervously. "Yeah, just gettin' a point for the team, y'know?" Some of it flowed into his mouth, and he blinked. "Huh, doesn't taste half bad! So, uh, how's it like being an intern?"

The confection oozed its way down his chest. "Oh, it's _horrible_! Not only do I have to do actual _work_, but Chris put a _restraining order_ on the paparazzi!" Dakota moaned.

Chef smacked the pot, sending a large glob down over the gamer's face. "You know, I thought I'd be more freaked out by this," Sam spluttered, "but mostly I'm just mildly annoyed. Probably 'cause you're here to give me something _else_ to focus on, Dakota."

"Aww, thanks!" the blonde blushed.

At last, Chef signaled the pot to be empty. "And looks like the Killer Bass are _finally_ on the board!" Chris announced to the joy of B and Sierra, and a look of self-satisfaction from Scarlett.

The footage skipped ahead to Dawn standing apart from the other campers. Her admission of fear was replayed, and the camera cut to a robot that looked like it had come from a several-decades-old science fiction story. "Just give it a hug!" Chris told the nervous-looking blonde.

The robot waved its mechanical arms, beeped, and rolled forward a foot. Dawn cringed.

"Come on," DJ told her, "you can do it! Even if it _is_ kinda creepy..."

The robot rolled forward another foot, and Dawn squeaked. "Umm...umm..." It rolled forward even more, and the blonde cried out. "I don't know what you _want_!" She took refuge behind DJ, who looked disappointed but understanding.

Cutting back to the twins showed both of them covered in mud and scrambling to get away from the sheep and goats chasing them. Eventually, one of them managed to haul herself over the fence and to relative safety. An alarm went off, and Chris appeared.

"Looks like only _one_ of you two managed to last the whole ten minutes!" he said as the second twin scrambled out of the pen as well. Chris looked at the two identical mud-covered young women and shrugged. "Not sure which one of you is _which_, not like it _matters_ – the Gophers get another point either way!"

"This is _your_ fault!" the first twin to leave growled. "If you had just _distracted_ those _sheep_, _I'd_ have gotten a point!"

"Sorry..." the second girl replied softly.

Geoff and Scott were shown again, still running and screaming away from their respective fears. Neither was watching where they were headed, and eventually they crashed into one another.

A flash transitioned the scene to the front of the Gopher's cabin. Sammy sat on the front porch, still covered in grime save her mostly-clean head. She sighed heavily.

"What's the matter?" DJ asked, appearing with Dawn by his side.

"Amy's pretty mad that I got a point but she didn't," Sammy explained. "She said I couldn't get cleaned up until she did, and I just _know_ she's gonna take credit for everything as soon as she can."

"Well, DJ and I will believe you," Dawn told her.

"Yeah!" DJ agreed. "But _man_, your sister's _terrible_ for treating you like she does. Family ain't supposed to hate each other like that, it's messed up."

Sammy smiled meekly. "Thanks. I just wish I could _do_ something about it..."

"We could always try to have her voted off next time we lose a challenge," Dawn suggested.

The cheerleader scoffed sadly. "Yeah, like _that's_ ever gonna happen..."

It was then that Alejandro ran past them, hollering "I can't _take_ it anymore!"

The trio was left shocked, and even more so when Topher ran past them from the other direction, clawing at his aged-up face. "Get it _off_! Get it _off_!"

Dawn, Sammy, and DJ shared a look of surprise.

The camera cut over to Bridgette, walking through the woods, eyes darting around. "Okay. Okay, okay, okay," she told herself. "You've lasted this far, Bridge, only..." she checked her watch, "two hours and thirty-nine minutes to go." The bushes rustled behind her, and she gave a small start. "Like I said, nothing to fear..." she muttered as a squirrel hopped into view.

xxx

"Actually," the blonde said confidently atop the confessional can, "I'd like to _thank_ the producers for making me face my fear. I'm proud of myself! Heck, once I got used to it, it was actually almost kind of _enjoyable_!"

xxx

It was Scarlett's turn next. The camera showed her looking up at something, then switched viewpoints to show a high dive positioned over a large vat of some unidentified liquid. "All you have to do is dive right in!" Chris smiled.

"Naturally," the bespectacled young woman stated. She approached the ladder without hurry, and began to climb.

"Hey, what _is_ that anyway?" Scott asked in a maliciously loud tone.

"Can't say," the host said as he watched Scarlett climb. "Wouldn't be as bad if she knew what it was."

The redhead glared at the two as she reached the diving board. She turned her attention to the vat below, and took a deep breath. She closed her eyes, pinched her nose shut, and jumped. Most of her teammates cheered when she broke the surface of the mystery fluid, and the scoreboard updated to show the Bass' second point.

"Well, _this_ is within the levels of unpleasantness I predicted," Scarlett muttered as she swam back up.

"I'm glad you like it!" Chris called. "It's a mix of kitchen grease, garbage water, sewage, and a bunch of things that were in _unmarked jars_." Scarlett shuddered, then vomited.

The clip of Jo confessing her fear of small dogs was shown in another flashback, and the scene cut to her, the Gophers, and Chris in the common area. The camera panned over to show Chef with a small brown terrier tugging at the end of its leash. It was yapping incessantly at Jo.

"Just one little pet is all you need," Chris told her.

"You are _much_ larger and tougher than it!" Alejandro added. "Petting such a small thing should be no problem for one such as you!"

Jo shot him a harsh look. "Well _you_ clearly haven't seen what those _things_ can do!" She paused and took a deep breath. "But you're right. I _am_ the toughest person here, and unlike you, _I _can actually face my fear!" Alejandro looked down in shame.

The jock-ette faced the terrier and steeled herself. She locked eyes with her foe, and charged. Chef let go of the leash, and the dog charged as well, barking all the way.

The dog bit down on Jo's arm, but she still managed to grab it with her other hand. "How do you like me now, ya little _rat_?" she said, yanking her hand free and petting the terrier aggressively. Her teammates cheered, and the scoreboard updated.

Chris was handed a note from off-camera, and read it quickly. "Well well well!" he announced. "Looks like Bridgette managed to make it the full six hours, earning the Bass their third point!" The surfer girl's teammates except Scott celebrated. "We've only got Sierra left!"

"Well, looks like we win again!" Jo said, having separated herself from the annoying canine. "Even _if_ your Stalker faces her fear, it won't be enough to beat _us_!"

"Yeah, _about_ that..." Chris countered. "Since the team numbers are so uneven, I decided it would be more interesting if we went based on _percentages_." The Gophers groaned. "Since only _half_ of you guys were able to face your fears, that means the Killer Bass only need _four_ points to win, meaning it all comes down to _Sierra_!"

The tall girl squealed in excitement.

"Well then, if we _do_ lose," Jo pondered aloud, looking straight at Alejandro. "I wonder who we'll be voting _off_?"

Dawn took notice, and narrowed her eyes.

The footage skipped ahead to the final part of the challenge. Sierra stood frowning at a pile of books, CDs, video tapes, and other assorted merchandise stamped with the face of Chris McLean. Chef whistled as he doused the pile with gasoline.

"Sierra," Chris said with a hand on the girl's shoulder, "all you have to do is watch _all_ of the crap I've ever regretted doing burn to ashes without trying to save _any_ of it. Do you understand?"

Sierra nodded, and so did the host. Chef lit a match, and started the bonfire.

An oddly touching tune was played over several shots of Sierra watching the memorabilia get destroyed, the flames reflected in her increasingly sad eyes and trembling lips. Scott was shown about to say something, but Scarlett quickly covered his mouth and dragged him away.

The camera focused in on the case of burning video tape, the area around the hosts' smiling face slowly being consumed.

"NO!" a voice cried out, reaching into the flames and rescuing the tape.

It was Chris himself. "Even if it _is_ just a pile of embarrassing memories," he cried as he pulled more and more things out of the fire, "I can't bear to watch my face be _destroyed_ like this!"

"Umm, does this mean I get the point?" Sierra asked.

"_Yes_!" Chris exclaimed. "Just _help_ me with this, will ya?"

She did so with glee, and the camera panned over to the Killer Bass cheering heavily as the scoreboard announced their victory.

xxx

"Darn it, I was doing so _good_, too!" Scott complained, leaning against the wall of the confessional and whittling a piece of wood. "I think _Scarlett_ might be _on_ to me..." His grimace turned into a wicked smile. "Well, I guess she'll just have to be _next_, then?" He cackled as his confessional came to an end.

xxx

The standard dramatic music played over a shot of the moon, which panned down to show two marshmallows remaining on the plate atop the sole vacant log. "There are only two marshmallows left on this plate," Chris said as the camera zoomed out to reveal Alejandro, Topher, and Amy sitting closest to the host. Jo was also in the shot, smirking at her rival.

"The three of you did _not_ complete your challenges today," Chris continued as the camera focused in on the three losing contestants and their nervous looks. "One of you is going home tonight and cannot return. _Ev-er_." The handsome host smiled in a close-up. "The next name I'm gonna call..." he paused as each of the three camper's faces were shown, "is...Topher!" The junior Chris was shown smiling as he walked over to claim his treat, and Amy and Alejandro shared a look of dread.

"The final marshmallow of the night goes to..." Chris began again, and suddenly the charmer's look of dread became a devilishly confident smile before the announcement was even made. "Alejandro!"

"_What_?!" Amy exclaimed. "But-but _Samey_...!"

Jo shoved her aside angrily. "Who cares about _her_, Alejandro's the _threat_!"

The tall young man happily tossed his marshmallow up and down. "It seems the others disagreed with _both_ of you."

The older twin growled as Chef approached her. "You'll _pay_ for this Samey! I don't know what you _did_, but you'll _pay_!"

Sammy was shown waving her tormenter off rather sheepishly. On either side of her sat Dawn and DJ, both glaring at the eliminated girl. They broke their gazes when she left their sight, and DJ turned a smile towards his friends. "Man, I can't believe she actually got eliminated! I wonder who voted for her besides us?"

"Oh, well, I'll tell you later..." Dawn said quickly, having had her eye caught by Alejandro.

xxx

"I'll admit, today was not my _finest_ moment in the competition," Alejandro mused. "Had it not been for Amy's treatment of her sister, I may have been at real risk of elimination! But, of course, I was _glad_ to give my assistance to Dawn – all I had to do was convince Topher to vote for Amy as well, and now _Dawn_ owes me a _favor_." He smiled evilly. "A favor which I shall make _very_ good use of."

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

**Author's Note - Post Script**

And now we've had the first strategic vote of the game, more-or-less. Fun fact: I had originally written Amy's fear to be pigs, but then I remembered 'I Love You Grease Pig' exists, so I changed it to sheep (and kept the mud, because it was kind of needed).

As for the non-canon fears, I wanted a good mix of believability and comedy. Sam's was born as a way to get the share-fest going, Jo's was made as an intentional mirror of Duncan's Celine Dion standee fear in canon as the 'tough person is afraid of something ridiculous', and Scott's was, well, the best I could think of as he has no reason to be afraid of sharks in this fic. Dawn's was easy to come up with, but weird to write.

I almost wish I had spent more time on Alejandro's fear, but I didn't want the chapter to be too long. Hopefully it was at least a reasonable thing for such an outgoing and manipulative person to have.

Also, Shawn beat up a bunch of interns, and unlike in canon Bridgette was actually able to face her fear! Good times.

That's all I have to say for now, and I hope the chapter was enjoyable!

- Fangren

* * *

**Appendix: TSI Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (22nd Place)

Dakota - (21st Place)

Ezekiel - (20th Place)

Sugar - (19th Place)

Lightning - (18th Place)

Amy - (17th Place)


	8. Chapter 8 - Up The Creek

**Author's Note**

Despite work being done on my house, I actually managed to complete Chapter 9 in three sessions, meaning Chapter 8 gets to go up at the 6 day mark! That hasn't happened for the past couple of chapters, so I'm pretty happy. Fortunately, Paintball Deer Hunter was fairly straightforward to write. This chapter, though, I needed to think about a few of the scenes. Still, I'm happy with how it turned out. Also, this now has more views than my other story Total Drama Rebirth, which I'm kind of sad about as Rebirth has been around much longer. Oh well, I guess that's just how these things end up.

With respect to the reviewers:

**XxRin-sanxX:** Well, I'm certainly glad you liked the fears I came up with. Regarding Alejandro's, and the issues you mentioned with the length of the chapters and how it's written like a show...yeah, those are certainly valid criticisms. They stem from me wanting to make each chapter believably be able to be told within the 21-ish minutes of a actual episode, as well as using the canon material as a guideline for scene planning (which has really helped me organize my writing). I am looking into clearer methods of written scene transitions, especially since next chapter the scenes change very often, but for the time being I'll have to ask you to please bear with it.

One last thing: I am somewhat disappointed you feel that way about DJawn, as it is one of my favorite ships.

**acosta perez jose ramiro:** Thank you, and you're welcome!

**Sleep Arypsure:** Well, I certainly learned something. Fortunately, from what little I've gathered solitary confinement isn't really considered torture unless it's for an excessively long period of time, whereas Alejandro was only in the chamber for a few hours. I also don't think his fear is specifically of solitary, but more of the abstract concept of isolation, if that makes sense.

**Star Saber21:** Thank you very much!

**Madison Wooten:** I'm happy you liked it! And hopefully this chapter will have a few surprises in store.

**Bellyacher:** Yeah, I figured immediately that Jose was going to be the best source for Alejandro's fear, given that he would never dare admit whatever it was in public. I've also been meaning to work in his hatred of being called 'Al', but none of the campers have really popped out to me as to who should get it started, so I haven't figured out when to work it in.

**Jinxup116:** Thank you! I hope you like this chapter as well.

**80jj:** Thank you as always! This may not be the last we see of Amy, of course - not with Total Shuffled Action, Total Shuffled World Tour, and Total Shuffled All-Stars to potentially appear in. For the time being, though, Sammy can be developed on her own. As for B...well, it was sort of a recurring joke in ROTI as well as his audition that he gets cut off anytime he tries to talk. I've always figured his selective mutism to be largely due to general social anxiety - and him constantly getting cut off doesn't help things.

That's all I have to say for now, so please enjoy!

- Fangren

* * *

**Episode 8 – Up The Creek**

"Last time on Total Drama Island!" Footage of the previous episode began to play, briefly showing Chris announcing the challenge in the mess hall, Alejandro getting closed in the isolation room, and then Amy and Sammy confessing - then facing – their fears. "The competitors were forced to conquer their deepest, darkest fears. Not all of them succeeded," Scott and Geoff's collision was shown, "but others surprised the group and faced their fears head-on;" the clips shown were of Beth, Sam, and Shawn.

"In a _shocking_ twist," DJ, Dawn, and Sammy were shown talking in front of their cabin was followed by the petite mystic's shared glance with her manipulative teammate, "Dawn formed a temporary alliance with Alejandro in order to get _Amy_ voted out."

Highlights of the elder twin's elimination were shown, and the Killer Bass were shown celebrating their victory. "With their losing streak _finally_ broken, will the Killer Bass manage to stay out of the water?" The camera cut to the host at the docks. "Will Alejandro call in the favor that is owed him? Find out today, on Total! Drama! Island!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

_Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

_You guys are on my mind!_

_Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

_And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

_I wanna be...famous!_

_I wanna live close to the sun!_

_Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

_Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

_I'll get there one day._

_'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

_(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

The episode opened with a shot of the Killer Bass standing in a row. "Bass, Gophers!" Chris said as the camera panned over both teams to show him, his back to the camera, standing next to an easel. "Today's challenge is a _true_ summer camp experience: a canoe trip!" He turned around and the camera zoomed out, revealing a staircase down to a beach. Seven canoes already laid upon the sand – three red, four green.

"You'll be paddling your canoes across the lake," the host continued, "to _Boney Island_!" He turned back to the campers and announced the destination in an exaggerated spooky manner. He motioned to the easel, which displayed a map of an island. "When you get there, you must _portage_ your canoes to the _other side_ of the island." The camera zoomed in on the map, showing a skull-shaped mountain at the top, a red X nearby, and a red dashed line extending out to show the general path to another red X on the other side of the island. "Which, is about a two-hour hike through _treacherous_, _dense_, _jungle_!"

"We've gotta por-_what_?" Geoff asked, scratching his head. Bridgette and Sam, standing nearby, looked at him in disbelief.

"_Por-ta-ge_," Chris repeated slowly and with air quotes. A fly was shown buzzing around the party boy's blank expression. "Dude, walk with your canoe!"

"_Oh_..." Geoff muttered off-screen as the host gave him a wink.

"When you arrive at the other end of the island," Chris resumed with his usual smile, "you'll build a rescue fire that will be judged by _me_!" The Gophers were panned across and bore generally hesitant and distrustful expressions. "The first team to paddle home and return their canoes to the beach is the winner of invincibility!" He pointed a thumb over his shoulders and became excited as the teens ran past him. "_Move_, campers, _move_!"

"Oh, wait!" he called after them, causing the campers to stop in their tracks and look back at him. "One more thing I should mention! Legend has it, if you take _anything_ off the island, you'll be cursed _forever_!" He used a spooky tone for the last few words.

The campers were shown gaping as thunder cracked ominously overhead. "Hey, cursed loot!" Sam said. "Cool..." The other teens just stared at him, and the gamer went quiet.

"Now!" Chris began again. "Get in your canoes, and let's have some _fun_!" He smiled as the campers continued to walk towards the beach.

A toilet flushed off-screen and Beth came running into the shot, toilet paper trailing from her right shoe. "What'd I miss?" she asked quickly.

"Canoes," the host answered plainly with a gesture behind him. Beth dashed off to join her teammates.

xxx

"Chris told us to pick a paddle partner," Scott explained in the confessional, "which means _I_ gotta pick someone I can pin the loss on – and it's about time the _Smart Girl_ went _home_!"

xxx

The footage cut back to a pan across the canoes to the first few campers descending the stairs to the beach. Scott was the first one down and sent a smile towards Scarlett. "Hey there! How 'bout you and me partner up!"

The bespectacled young woman raised an eyebrow. "No thank you." She looked over her shoulder and noticed Bridgette shooting Geoff an awkward smile. "Excuse me, Bridgette!" she called, getting the blonde's attention. "Would you partner with me for this challenge?"

The surfer looked relieved, and scurried over to the redhead. "Sure!" Behind her, Geoff's smile took on an undercurrent of disappointment.

xxx

"Man, I thought Bridge an' I were _tight_," the party boy confessed, "but lately, it feels kinda _weird_ between us, like I did somethin' _wrong_..." He looked down sadly for a brief moment before his face lit up again. "Nah! It's all _good_!"

xxx

"Come on, man," Sam told the boy as he passed, "let's get this co-op _started_!"

"Excellent!" Geoff smiled, shooting his teammate a thumbs-up and running after him.

As the two pairs went to their canoes, Scott stood frowning. B and Sierra walked by, and the farmer shrugged, "Well, looks like the three of us are _together_ on this!"

The logo of the Screaming Gophers appeared in the upper left corner as the camera cut to them partnering up. Jo had gotten there first amongst her team, but Alejandro and Topher were the first to wordlessly pair up. With Dawn, DJ, and Sammy looking to claim the host-mandated group of three, Jo made a snap decision.

"Okay! Shortstuff, Beatbox, I'm letting you two handle yourselves today," she told her alliance members. "Shawn of the Dead, you're with me." The three teens looked a bit put-out by the nicknames, but shrugged and voiced no objection.

The scene cut over to the Gopher trio. "So," Dawn began, "how has Bunny been?"

"Great!" DJ grinned. "I've been doin' just what you told me too, and he's _really_ started to get used to people!"

Dawn smiled. "That's wonderful!"

xxx

"You know," Sammy said with a bit of thought, "DJ and Dawn have a _lot_ in common. They both love nature, they're both good with animals, and they've both been _really_ nice to me since we got here." She looked away from the camera and blushed faintly, then turned her face back forward with a knowing smile. "I bet they'd make a _great_ couple."

xxx

DJ picked up a life jacket and shot a wary look towards the canoe. "Hey, uh, do canoes flip over a lot?"

"I don't _think_ so," Sammy responded. "But even if they did, it's no big deal...right?" Suddenly fearful, she looked between their vessel and the lake uncertainly.

"Oh no, it shouldn't be for us," Dawn explained, "but DJ has been afraid of water since he was young, right?"

The gentle giant nodded and shuddered. "Yeah, ever since the _wedgie flop_."

"Wedgie flop?" Sammy repeated. "That sounds painful."

"It _was_," DJ told her. "My brothers dared me to jump off the high dive when I was eight," he explained, "and even though I was scared I did it. Landed on my _butt_, which doesn't sound _too_ bad, but my trunks went so far up there I had to go to the _hospital_ to get 'em removed."

Sammy looked astonished. "Oh _wow_! How did you manage to jump off that cliff in the _first_ challenge?"

DJ shrugged. "What can I say? Jo was scarier than the water."

Sammy laughed. "Yeah, I can imagine."

xxx

It was Dawn's turn to use the confessional, sitting on the toilet in lotus position with her hands clasped together. "Sammy and DJ's auras go _great_ together," she said happily. "I just _know_ it's only a matter of time before they find love!"

xxx

Alejandro was shown dragging his and Topher's canoe into the water, and the Gopher trio were seen trying to do the same. DJ, in his fear, had already gotten inside leaving his two smaller friends to do the work. "Sorry about this," the young man said.

"No worries," Dawn answered.

"Yeah, just leave this part to us!" Sammy added.

It was then that the Bass team of Sierra, Scott, and B rowed past. "Wow, what a _man_!" the redhead mocked, causing DJ to hang his head in shame while Dawn and Sammy glared.

The footage skipped forward and the camera panned across the various sub-teams lined up in their canoes, then zoomed to the host on the beach. He cocked a starting pistol, and raised it into the air. "On your marks! Get set! _Paddle_!" He fired the gun, and the frantic screech of a bird could be heard over a shot of the race beginning. The scene cut briefly back to Chris as a large eagle fell out of the sky in front of him. "Well, _that's_ gonna make some people mad," he stated.

The campers were shown rowing their way across the lake, and the camera focused in on Dawn, Sammy, and DJ.

"So, do you think Chris was kidding about the whole 'cursed island' thing?" Sammy asked.

"Hard to say," Dawn told her. "For although Chris _did_ seem to truly expect us to get cursed, I haven't sensed any dark clouds or looming tragedies – at least, no more than _usual_."

"That's, umm...reassuring?" Sammy smiled half-heartedly, as did DJ behind her.

Dawn smiled at them. "I wouldn't worry too much, they really only mean that we're at the mercy of Chris. If anything _truly_ ominous occurs, I'll make sure to let you know. "

"Oh, thanks!" Sammy said. "Being here would be _way_ worse without you, Dawn." The mystic blushed at her friend's smile.

xxx

"Yeah, Dawn can take some getting' used to," DJ said from the privacy of the outhouse. "But she's pretty cool once you get to know her. Sammy too." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "To tell the truth, I wouldn't mind datin' either one of 'em, but I'm pretty sure they're into each other."

xxx

The camera followed the Gopher trio for another few seconds before panning forward to show Jo and Shawn paddling quickly. "I was the captain of my whitewater team back home," she boasted, "so our win is pretty much a guarantee."

"Somehow I doubt we'll be seeing any rapids," Shawn told her. "Besides, it's the _curse_ we have to _worry_ about."

The jock-ette scoffed loudly. "Oh please, I'm sure that was just McClean trying to psyche us out."

"Yeah, well, I'm not gonna take the risk of having one of us turn into some kinda magical _zombie_ in the middle of the challenge," the survivalist replied.

"Sure is a great day out," Topher mentioned as the focus passed to him and Alejandro. "Which is a shame, really. A canoe race to a cursed island totally needs more _ambiance_, am I right?"

Thee charmer shook off a raised eyebrow. "Oh yes, certainly."

The scene cut to Geoff and Sam. "Can I ask you somethin', dude?" the party boy opened. "I gave Bridgette an _awesome_ gift this morning but she's been sendin' me some_ weird vibes_." As he scratched his head, the camera cut to the object of his affection.

"Oh my _gosh_, Scarlett, it was _so bad_!" the blonde vented as a flashback from her perspective began. "I came back from brushing my teeth," she said as her arm was shown opening the door to her cabin and her bed was zoomed in on, "and I noticed something _bulging_ under my covers, and when I lifted them, _there_ it _was_!"A heart-shaped object was revealed as the ominous background music spiked dramatically. It was pink and covered in pieces of dry macaroni, and pasted into the center was a photo of Geoff and Bridgette which had clearly been taped together from two other pictures.

"Hrmm," Scarlett could be heard saying, "that certainly sounds awful."

"I _know_, right?" Bridgette replied, and the scene shifted back to the boys.

"I made it in Arts and Crafts," Geoff explained as the background music became flowery once more.

"Really, dude?" Sam told him in disbelief.

Geoff nodded happily. "Yup!"

"It gets _worse_," Bridgette continued as the scene switched back to her. "Etched into the back was an _inscription_ that said..."

"I hope you think of me whenever you drop loose change into this," Geoff finished. Sam groaned.

Bridgette mimed choking, and Scarlett sighed in exasperation.

"Not good?" Geoff asked his paddle partner.

"Dude, I don't really know much about girls," Sam answered, "but even _I_ know that's not how you're supposed to do romance. You gotta take things _slowly_, make sure you trigger all the right flags before you move on to the next part of the sidequest. Handmade gifts are for _later_, once you're almost at the end!"

The party boy looked like he was trying to understand, but mostly looked confused by the gamer's explanation. "So...you're sayin' I messed up?"

"_Totally_, dude." Sam said.

"Hey, Sierra," Scott began slowly and deliberately as the camera focused on the Bass trio, "you know all about Chris, right? You reckon he was telling the truth about the whole 'cursed island' thing?"

The tall girl nodded enthusiastically. "Oh yeah. Based on his body language and tone of voice, I'd estimate about an 89.7% chance that Boney Island is cursed."

"Well _shucks_," Scott exclaimed in an exaggerated manner, "that's not good for us, is it? My Grandpappy's had a few run-ins with curses before, and _he_ told me they always affect the ones that don't _believe_ in 'em the _most_." The point-of-view rotated to show Scott, Sierra, and B looking at the Bass girls in the water ahead of them. "And there's no way someone like _Scarlett_ is gonna believe in a _curse_."

Sierra gasped. "Oh my gosh, I bet she's like a curse _magnet_!"

The schemer nodded and grinned. "Yeah, that's what I was thinkin'. Well, at least if we _lose_, we know who to _vote off_." Though neither Scott nor Sierra noticed it, B pursed his lips and glared.

It was then that the music took an ominous and spooky twist distinct from what had been used for other clips. Fog began to appear in front of the campers, lightly at first but thickening by the second. "Hey, is it just me, or is it getting hard to see?" Sierra asked her teammates.

"No," Scott answered, "I think this is _new_."

The camera zoomed out to show the cluster of seven canoes gliding through a part of the lake infested with fog and rocks. The map of Boney Island appeared on-screen and faded into a shot of the island itself as Chris' words were repeated. "You'll be paddling your canoes across the lake, to _Boney Island_!" Blanketed in mist and pines, the most prominent feature of the new landscape was a central skull-shaped mountain looking out over the lake.

The campers looked wary as the paddled closer, and as the first few canoes ran ashore the focus was put on Alejandro and Topher.

"Now _this_ is what I call _atmosphere_!" Topher declared, jumping to the beach and spreading his arms excitedly. "_Perfect_ location for a haunted island, as _expected_ from the man himself!" A screeching gust of wind crossed over the skull-shaped mountain, as did the camera.

"I...think we should probably stay here as _little_ as possible," Dawn advised as her partners lifted the canoe over their head, and the campers quickly departed for the interior.

The two teams were shown running through the forest, passing an eerie number of impaled skulls along the trail. A large tree feel in front of the Killer Bass, and Sam cried out as several pairs of yellow eyes opened in the darkness around them. A bush rustled off to the side.

"What was _that_?" Sam said, looking around in fear.

A large animal with shaggy brown fur, bucked teeth, and gnarled tusks popped its head into view. Several more followed, and a few of the beasts even took heavy steps towards the terrified campers.

"Monster beavers!" Scott yelled. "Run for it!" He turned his canoe and ran screaming.

xxx

It was Chris himself who made of the outhouse for the next clip. "A remnant of the Pleistocene era," he exposited, "the Woolly Beaver is a day-active rodent, indigenous to Boney Island. Oh yeah, and they're _meat-eaters_!" He finished his confession with a wink.

xxx

The Killer Bass were shown running away from a pack of no less than five beavers. They passed a bear rubbing its back against a tree; it watched the procession in confusion and even pulled out a pair of eyeglasses, presumably to verify what it had seen.

The Bass continued running with Scott at the fore. "Aww, crap!" he exclaimed as the group came upon a shallow pool nestled against a dead-end cliff. There were numerous gatherings of grass and twigs dotted along the cliffside, and the beavers were shown giving up their pursuit at the edge of the pool.

"Hey, they're leaving!" Sam noted.

"But _why_?" Scarlett pondered with furrowed brow. "Everything I've read about them suggests they should have simply _killed_ us."

B's eyes went wide as he spotted something stirring nearby, but he went unnoticed.

"Who cares? They're _gone_, dudes!" Geoff rejoiced in a loud enough voice to raise a head from every nest along the wall of rock.

The animals had coloration reminiscent of Canada Geese, but they were much larger, had elongated heads, and possessed bills full of teeth. As they began to squawk and chatter at the campers, Scarlett offered a few more words. "We appear to have stumbled into the territory of _another_ predatory species."

The shot cut to the Killer Bass running and screaming passed the same glasses-wearing bear, this time with the monster geese in pursuit. The bear, apparently unaccustomed to such sights, snapped its glasses with a grunt.

"Scarlett, you're smart, figure something _out_!" Scott cried.

"The canoes!" the genius announced after a moment. "If we work together, we should be able to use their weight and breadth to simultaneously bludgeon the geese and shield ourselves!" To demonstrate she moved her grip to the seat and ribs of the canoe, her partner and the other groups following suit shortly after. They turned around and charged the geese, ramming the hulls forward and knocking the birds away. The geese soon gave up their pursuit, and the Killer Bass were passed by their human opponents.

"Come on dudes, it's not over yet!" Geoff declared as they began running once more.

The footage cut to the Screaming Gophers at a fork in the trail. "Which way we gonna go?" DJ asked.

"I'm thinking _left_," Jo said, pointing in her preferred direction.

"But the right trail is _wider_," Alejandro objected, "so we'll be able to travel more quickly."

"What do you think, Dawn?" Sammy asked the girl in front of her.

The short blonde, arms stretched to their limits due to the height difference within the trio, merely looked from left to right. "There is _slightly_ more danger looming to the left," she announced, and the Gophers veered right.

The shot cut back to the Bass. "Hey, I can see the others!" Sam exclaimed.

"They're headed right!" Bridgette added.

"Then _we_ should head _left_!" Scott declared.

The scene skipped ahead to show the three Bass sub-teams slowly but steadily making their way through the dense forest. Geoff was taking the lead, but he suddenly began to sink into the ground. "Uh, dudes, I think we've got a _problem_ here!"

xxx

"Yeah, so it was just _quicksand_," the fun-lover explained. "Who'd have guessed it looked so much like _regular_ sand?"

xxx

Chris laughed from within the outhouse. "Can you believe they _fell_ for that?" he asked the camera, barely controlling his mirth. "I set it up, but I didn't think anyone would walk _into_ it! That's just _great_!"

xxx

"A little _help_?" Geoff asked as he continued to sink.

"Oh no!" Bridgette cried, dashing out from her canoe to the edge of the hazard.

Scarlett sighed, struggling under the weight of her previously-shared burden. "Remain calm, and slowly assume a supine position while B locates a means of pulling you out," she advised as the largest member of the team separated from Scott and Sierra.

"A _what_ position?" Geoff asked frantically, now up to his armpits.

"On your _back_, Geoff, your _back_!" the surfer girl told him hurriedly. The party-goer nodded, and started leaning backwards. B appeared again bearing a vine coiled around his arm; he tossed one end to his teammate and got a firm grip on the rest. The free end was shown landing on the trapped boy's face; Geoff smiled and took hold. He pulled himself to freedom moments later.

Bridgette, Sam, and Sierra cheered. "Scarlett, B, thank you _so_ much!" the blonde girl said as she helped her teammate to his feet.

The silent one gave her his usual smirk and thumbs-up. "You're welcome," Scarlett told her. "The relatively higher surface area of a supine body will _obviously_ result in increased buoyancy, I merely remained calm enough to inform you all of that fact."

Scott snorted and rolled his eyes. "Come on, we gotta _go_!"

"_Just_ when things were looking up for the Gophers," Chris' voice-over said as the scene cut to the other team, focusing on Alejandro and Topher as the latter fell forward suddenly, "_disaster_ struck!"

"My _leg_!" the handsome boy cried in agony, lying on his back and clutching his leg. "My precious _leg_! Why _now_? I...I can't go _on_ like this!"

"Suck it up," Jo scoffed as she and Shawn stopped to look back. "Now keep movin',we've got a _challenge_ to win!"

DJ stopped and shook his head. "Nuh-uh," he told her, "we're not leavin' any man behind while _I'm_ around!" He stepped out from under his shared canoe and took a step towards his fallen teammate.

xxx

"I'll admit I like to work the camera now and then," Topher admitted, "but make no mistake, I was _seriously_ hurt. I'm surprised I made it!"

xxx

"I've seen people get run over by tractors before," Beth told the camera, "but I've _never_ seen something _this_ bad!"

xxx

"Dude just _kept_ goin'!" DJ added, tapping a fist to his chest. "What can I say, the man's got _heart_!"

xxx

The camera cut to a close-up of a jagged piece of wood stuck in human flesh; it zoomed out several times until the splinter was no longer visible and the afflicted was revealed to be lying on top of the canoe now carried by Alejandro and DJ.

By the time the Gophers arrived, the Bass were already at the beach and working on their fire. Geoff tipped his hat to them as B knelt down to the team's tinder pile, rubbing two objects together vigorously enough to create sparks. He blew encouragingly on the small flames they made, and soon the tinder pile was alight.

"How did they do that so _quickly_?" Alejandro asked in astonishment. B smiled, holding up a 9-volt battery and a paper clip, rubbing them together to create another spark.

The shot cut to Chris piloting a small red helicopter. "Hey, no rule against that!" he announced. "Edge: Killer Bass!"

Beth and Sammy were shown gathering wood off the beach for their team while Scott watched. He frowned, then walked over to a nearby bush. The music took an ominous bent as the schemer's eyes went wide, and a small wooden object was shown lying on the ground. It was a carved idol, and its appearance was accompanied by a brief rattling sound.

The clip of Chris' warning at the beginning of the challenge was flashed back to. "If you take _anything_ off the island, you'll be cursed _forever_!"

Scott's eyes narrowed and a devilish grin appeared on his face. "_Perfect_," he muttered as he picked the idol up. The camera zoomed out to show Alejandro peering at him from a distance.

The camera cut over to Bridgette and Geoff combing a different part of the beach. "So, uh," Geoff began awkwardly, "I just wanted to say thanks for helpin' me out back there."

"It was nothing," Bridgette told him without meeting his eyes, "just helping out a teammate."

The party boy's face fell slightly. "Right, right." The two continued to work in silence for another few moments before Geoff spoke up again. "And, uh, sorry about, y'know, the gift. I guess it wasn't very good, huh?"

"...yeah, but it wasn't the _worst_..." the surfer said with a small smile.

"Excuse me!" the pair of blondes had their attention caught by Scarlett's voice from off-screen. "If you have any more firewood, please bring it to the firepit so the flame can be fed."

The camera cut to Scott, taking advantage of his team being distracted to inch closer to their canoes. He double- and triple-checked that nobody was watching, pulled out his whittling knife, and started to work on the nearest boat. The redheaded saboteur did not notice one set of eyes catching his misdeed.

xxx

"Now what on earth was that dirt farmer doing?" Alejandro pondered looking away from the camera and rubbing his chin. "I'd have understood if it was _our_ canoes he was taking a knife to, but why would he sabotage his _own_ team's chance of winning?" The charmer shrugged and smiled. "No matter. If he wants his team to lose, why not let him do as he pleases?"

xxx

With Scarlett watching on, the Killer Bass arranged their freshest wood in a way that caused their fire to grow. The camera panned over to Jo, who pursed her lips and looked down on the Gopher's smaller blaze. Behind her, Topher dragged himself along the land with one arm, having managed to gather a token amount of tinder even with his injured leg.

"Okay people," she barked, "we need to make it _bigger_! More _wood_!"

"No need," Shawn stated as he walked into view. "I've got it covered." He held out a golf ball-sized object for his team to see, and continued his explanation. "I made it from some tree sap and a few other plants I found in the woods, it should give our fire the boost it needs. You should _probably_ take a few steps back though."

His teammates were shown complying warily, and Shawn nodded. He tossed the ball into the flames and ran away, the camera switching to a full shot of the beach they were on as the fire suddenly tripled in size. Chris was shown watching from his helicopter, Dawn and Sammy were shown shielding their eyes, and the Bass were shown with mouths wide open. "Woo! Looks like we've got our fire building winners!" the host announced from the air. "Point for the Gophers!"

"Nice work!" Jo commended. "Where'd you learn to make it?"

Shawn brushed a bit of soot from his clothes. "Basic research," he explained. "Sudden explosive fires are handy as both a weapon _and_ for distracting zombies, so it helps to know how to build one from whatever you have available."

The scene cut to the canoes sitting in the water, panning left to show both teams making their approach. Alejandro helped Topher into their shared canoe, and the seven groups set off at about the same time. However, the Screaming Gophers soon pulled ahead.

The Bass paddled harder but to no avail; Bridgette gasped and pointed at the floor of her canoe. "Scarlett, _look_! We're taking on water!" The redhead complied, as did the camera – water was slowly seeping in through cracks and holes in the canoe.

"Us too!" Geoff called out with a hint of panic.

"Same here!" Scott added with forced surprise.

"How did this _happen_?" Scarlett asked to herself more than anything else. "All three of our canoes made the initial journey without issue!"

Scott briefly smirked. "It must've happened when we used them against those monster _geese_!"

Scarlett frowned. "Paddle harder, and we may be able to overcome the additional drag!" she commanded, but her team's frenzied pace was not enough – the Gophers landed all four of their canoes before the first of the Bass arrived.

"The Gophers are the winners!" Chris announced to the cheers of the larger team.

The moment the Bass were on dry land, Scarlett flipped over her canoe to examine the hull. When she did so, a small wooden object fell to Bridgette's feet.

"Scarlett, what _is_ this?" she asked her partner.

The red-haired young woman spared it a single moment's glance. "A piece of wood carved into an approximation of the humanoid form, but I fail to see the relevance. More importantly, these holes," she rubbed a finger around the damage to the hull, "were _clearly_ made from inside the canoe. It's unlikely they were caused by the anserines we encountered earlier."

"Hey, did you get that from the _island_?" Scott asked immediately, taking the idol out of Bridgette's hands.

Sierra gasped. "Oh em gee, it must be _cursed_!"

"Well guys, I guess we know who to vote off, right?" Scott said smugly.

Scarlett's eyes went wide for a moment, before she turned a glare at her fellow redhead. "_You_ did this!" she accused. "And furthermore, you've been sabotaging us from the _beginning_!" Bridgette, Sam, Geoff, and even B gasped; Scott put his hands up defensively.

"Whoa, hold on! You can't be _serious_, right? Why would I sabotage my _own_ team?" Scott said.

Scarlett took a step towards him. "I don't _know_ why, but the evidence suggests _one_ obvious conclusion! _You_ left the group shortly after Lightning was last seen during the camping challenge and returned shortly after Bridgette was startled and unintentionally incinerated the tent, _you_ were the last person still awake from on our team during the 'Awake-a-thon', _you_ were the last person who could have talked to Dakota before she decided _not_ to jump in the first challenge, and _you_ are the only person known to carry an object capable of _damaging_ treated wood!" With each accusation Scarlett took a step forward and her glare intensified.

"Oh yeah?" Scott sneered. "_Prove_ it!"

The two redheads locked eyes for a silent few seconds before they were interrupted by an unexpected visitor.

"I apologize for intruding, "Alejandro said, "but I could not help but overhear your troubles. Although it is _hardly_ my place to cast judgment, I _did_ notice Scott picking something up out of a bush while we were all gathering wood, and then go over to your team's canoes."

"Hey, that must have been when you wrecked the boats!" Sam exclaimed. "I bet you planted the cursed idol, too!"

"B-but..." Scott began to say, eyes wide and suddenly fearful. "Th-the statue..."

He held it out again, but Scarlett slapped it out of his hands. "Irrelevant! _You_ are the one who has been causing us to lose challenges, not _it_!" The camera followed Scott's wild glances at his angry teammates, then cut to static.

xxx

Alejandro laughed. "_Sure_, I could have allowed him to continue holding back the other team, but _this_ way I get to watch him squirm _and_ gain their trust!" He laughed again as his confessional ended.

xxx

A wolf was shown howling against the moon as the elimination ceremony began. "And now," Chris said, "the always anxiety-inducing," he spun the plate of treats on one finger, "_marshmallow ceremony_."

The camera panned across the Killer Bass, most of them glaring at Scott. "When I call your name, come and get a marshmallow. Sam!" The gamer smiled and claimed his prize. "Geoff," he smiled and stood up, "Bridgette," she stood up as well, and the blondes smiled at each other, "Sierra," the tall girl squealed and dashed forward, "and B." A tense note was struck as the largest Bass took his marshmallow confidently, and the camera showed one bit of white left on the plate.

"One last marshmallow," Chris announced. "The person who _doesn't_ get this marshmallow," Scarlett was shown with her arms crossed, "will _walk_ off the Dock of Shame," Scott was panned to as he chewed his nails, "and take a _ride_ on the _Boat_ of _Losers_. Who's it gonna be?" the host smiled.

Scarlett rolled her eyes. "We already know, so please cease the extended formalities."

Chris frowned. "_Fine_. _Scarlett_." He flicked the final marshmallow across the fire, and the young woman caught it easily.

Scott snorted. "Whatever," he said with a look straight towards Scarlett. "I would have gotten away with it if it hadn't been for _Alejandro_ – as far as I'm concerned, _he's_ the one who caught me, not _you_."

The bespectacled young woman twitched briefly, but said nothing as the dirt farmer walked away.

The scene skipped forward to a shot of the communal bathrooms, and zoomed out to show Sam making his way towards them as Dakota came out of them holding a mop and bucket. He looked up from the handheld game console he was playing and smiled.

"Oh, hey!" the gamer said happily. "How's it hangin'?"

"Crappy as usual," the heiress-turned-intern answered. "I've barely gotten any _camera time_ lately!" She noticed the one on Sam, and immediately started posing for it. "But hey, I heard you got rid of that slimeball _Scott._"

Sam chuckled. "Yeah, Scarlett really tore into him, you should've been there." He quickly realized his faux pas. "Err, I mean..."

"Don't worry about it. I probably would've been voted out early even _without_ Scott's bad advice," the blonde said. "I'm not really cut out for all those _challenges_. I really should've signed up for a _different_ reality show, y'know?"

"Yeah, well, if it's any consolation _I'm_ glad you signed up for Total Drama," the blushing gamer told her.

"Aww, thanks!" Dakota smiled.

The scene cut again to an outdoor shot of the Bass cabin as the sound of something shattering was played. The view shifted to a close-up of Bridgette's gift from Geoff, laying on the floor in pieces. The surfer sighed and looked up at Scarlett who was cleaning her glasses, and asked "Have any glue?"

"No," Scarlett replied with a dismissive look to the floor, "but I wouldn't bother – it holds no significant value to you, correct?"

Bridgette picked up the pieces and smiled lightly. "Maybe it _does_..."

The camera cut one more time to the beach, and the music became ominous and eerie. The shot focused on the wooden idol from Boney Island, nestled in between two rocks. Lightning flashed, and the scene rapidly zoomed out to the full shot of the island as the lights were turned off and the feed cut to static.

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

**Author's Note - Post Script**

And thus the second quarter of Total Shuffled Island begins with the end of Scott's arc (barring any future appearances, of course). Hopefully it was satisfying.

Fun fact: I had originally planned on Beth getting the idol as she did in canon but the Bass losing anyway, which is why I included the scene of her missing the warning from Chris, but decided against it partway through the chapter. I realized that Scott, with full knowledge of the curse, would definitely try to use it against his team - especially if it would help get rid of Scarlett, whom he suspected of suspecting him. It also cleared up one of the other big problems I had with Beth getting the idol: Dawn. I originally could not think of a good way to have Dawn not immediately call Beth out on having the cursed idol, as they are roommates and it seems like something our aura-whisperer would notice. Having the idol stuck on the beach due to Scott, waiting to be used in the future, ended up being a much better way of dealing with it.

I'm sort of uncertain about Topher getting the splinter, given that it didn't really go anywhere unlike in canon where it ended up furthering Gidgette a bit, but I was stuck on what else to include in that 'slot'. Shawn using a smaller version of Izzy's fire starter was a similar thing, but it did give him something to do as well as allow that part of the challenge to be ended swiftly.

I also finally referred to Sam having brought more than one game console, as well as further his relationship with Dakota a bit, both of which I've been meaning to do but haven't found a good place for until now.

I think that's all i wanted to say, so until next time!

- Fangren

* * *

**Appendix: TSI Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (22nd Place)

Dakota - (21st Place)

Ezekiel - (20th Place)

Sugar - (19th Place)

Lightning - (18th Place)

Amy - (17th Place)

Scott - (16th Place)


	9. Chapter 9 - Paintball Deer Hunter

**Author's Note**

Hello again! I'm quite glad to have finally gotten this chapter out, considering how much trouble Chapter 10 was giving me. Work on my house, sadly, has been delayed a bit so it may end up causing me to work more slowly for a future chapter. I will still do my best to maintain posting new chapters every 6-8 days. I also decided to implement a better way of visually identifying scene changes. I'll still use 'xxx' to denote confessionals, but '/' will be used as a break between major scenes, assuming it appears correctly.

With respect to the reviewers:

**XxRin-sanxX:** Well, I'm glad you cleared up your feelings on DJawn, so thanks! And yeah, I guess there really are more plot-relevant ships than there were at this point in canon. I didn't realize it, because I tend to think of the Dawn/DJ/Sammy complex as one entity. And I'm happy that the elimination surprised you!

**80jj:** Yeah, that's just about it as far as those three are concerned. B I've always felt was an underused character despite his built-in limitations. As for Fang...well, I for one have _definitely_ been looking forward to who he, ah, 'interacts' with in my version of Revenge of the Island. Too bad it'll have to wait until mid 2016 to happen most likely, given my current pacing.

**Sleep Arypsure:** Ah, that explains it. I'm not familiar with BlazBlue, but thank you anyways!

**Bellyacher:** Thank you as always! Aside from being glad that the Topher bit was acceptable, I can't really comment on the other stuff without spoiling things, so you'll have to wait and see.

**Madison Wooten:** Well then, just read on and see! Thanks for the review as always.

**TotalCyborgPineappleIsland2:** No worries! As for your questions, well I'm certainly going to do both of the specials, if only because they explain the line-ups for Action and World Tour. As for my personal twists...well, I do have a few things planned, but I don't intend on changing the formula of the series very much. Most of the big stuff will have to wait for later on.

**White Weasel and acosta perez jose ramiro:** Yes, I figured having them each ship the other pair would be sort of a cute and believable way to have the basis for conflict.

**RedHornedUnicorn and Star Saber21:** Oh yes, having Scarlett cause Scott's downfall was one of my early plans as I recall, at least once I'd gotten a good hold on the Pahkitew Island contestants' personalities and decided how I wanted to handle the villains for the first three seasons.

I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

- Fangren

* * *

**Episode 9 – Paintball Deer Hunter**

"Last time, on Total Drama Island!" The opening clip was a pan across the seven canoes to show the teams walking up to them, which soon faded into the map of their destination, and a shot of the island itself. "Both teams set out on a canoe trip, to _deadly_ Boney Island!"

A montage of the two teams paddling across the lake shifted to focus on the devious farmer as he chose their direction and shiftily approached their boats while his teammates worked on the fire. "Scott continued to sabotage his team by filling their canoes with holes, and even planted a creepy-stick-statue-voodoo-thingy that he found in order to pin the blame on Scarlett."

A close-up of the idol was shown, as was the Killer Bass falling behind in the final stretch, and Scarlett glaring angrily. "He managed to cause his team to lose, _again_, but Scarlett proved too smart to fool and called Scott out. And when Alejandro spilled the beans about seeing Scott at work," the handsome young man was shown talking to his opponents, "the rest of the Bass got _pretty_ TO'd as well!"

Chris laughed, and continued over clips of the elimination ceremony. "_Unsurprisingly_, Scott got the boot – but not before leaving behind the cursed statue thing." The object in question was shown again, lightning flashing ominously as it sat on the beach. The footage cut to the host's close-up as he finished his introduction. "Will the Killer Bass finally be able to start winning now that Scott's gone?" He looked over at Dakota, who was holding up a full-length mirror next to the host. "And can my teeth _get_ any whiter?" he said, admiring his reflection. "Find out here! On! Total! Drama! Island!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

_Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

_You guys are on my mind!_

_Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

_And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

_I wanna be...famous!_

_I wanna live close to the sun!_

_Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

_Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

_I'll get there one day._

_'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

_(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

A peaceful tune opened the episode alongside a scene of a rabbit hopping across the common area; the shadow and sounds of a helicopter disturbed the tranquility as Chris, in pilot's uniform, flew over the cabins and winked at the camera.

The shot cut inside to the boys' side of the Bass cabin as Sam jolted awake. "Gah!" he cried, falling out of his top bunk. "Okay, _that's_ overdoing it. Why can't we just get a _normal_ wake-up call for once?" B yawned from the bed below the gamer's, and nodded. The camera panned over to Geoff, looking similarly annoyed.

Cutting back outside, the helicopter flew over to the Gopher cabin, causing a headgear-wearing Beth to hit her head on the bunk above her and groan. "Why does he always _do_ that?" she lisped, rubbing her new bump.

"To sort out the _weak_," Jo said as she hopped down from the higher bunk, "so quit _complaining_ and start _moving_." Beth sighed, and the other two girls in the room shared a look.

/

The scene flashed ahead to show Beth and Jo arriving at the communal bathrooms. To their surprise, DJ and Beardo were standing outside of it along with the Bass girls.

"What's with the _line_?" Jo asked, cutting around the queue to talk to her teammates directly.

"Topher wanted some _private time_," DJ answered. "only let _Alejandro_ in with him, and even _that_ dude's left by now."

"_Wow_," Beth said with a finger on her lip.

Jo rolled her eyes, walked forward, and pounded on the door. "Hey Pretty Boy, don't take all day!"

"Man, Topher may be _hot_ but hoggin' the bathroom like this ain't right," Beardo said.

The piercing sound of feedback drew the group's attention to a nearby loudspeaker. "I hope you're ready for the _most_ challenging challenge _yet_!" Chris announced. "Breakfast in three minutes at the campfire pit!"

Sam and Geoff were shown listening in their room, and the camera cut back to the bathroom. "Aww screw it," Jo said, "I'll just go in the _woods_. Beth, Beardo, make sure you don't hold anybody _up_, got it?" Her allies sighed as she stormed off.

/

The footage flashed ahead to the campers assembled before Chris. "Are you ready, for today's EXTREME MAX IMPACT _CHALLENGE_?!" the host asked them excitedly. The campers just stared at him blankly, and Chris rolled his eyes. "_Whatever_," he said, throwing a can at the teens – it was caught by DJ just before it hit Sammy, and the two smiled at each other.

"_This_," Chris said as he tossed cans to Alejandro, Beardo, and Jo, "is _breakfast_."

"_Beans_?" Alejandro questioned, looking at the can closely. "Hardly a _balanced_ breakfast."

"Hey, cool!" Sam said as he examined his own can. "They _always_ give you random food items as power-ups in video games!"

"Today's challenge is about _survival_," Chris continued. "We're going _hunting_!" He pulled out a lime green gun from behind his back, which got the attention of a few campers.

"Yes!" Jo pumped her fist. "Finally we get a _decent_ challenge!" Next to her, Sam happily dug into his meal.

Scarlett stepped forward and peered at the firearm with a smile. "A paintball gun, if I'm not mistaken?"

"Why yes Scarlett, it is!" Chris answered happily, shooting at the redhead but narrowly missing.

"So we won't be _killing_ anything?" Bridgette asked from the host's other side.

"Negatory!" Chris told her. "_This_ is the first ever paintball deer hunt! I'll announce the teams once we get into the woods! _Sooo_, finish brekkie!" Dawn, DJ, and Sammy were shown listening quietly, but turned their heads when Sam belched.

The gamer blushed. "Heh, excuse me."

/

The music picked as the scene skipped forward again, showing the two teams standing apart from each other. In front of them, Chris stood next to a large rack, upon which several colored paintball guns were hanging.

"And now for the team breakdowns," the host announced. "The Killer Bass hunters are," he began to reach for another lime green gun, "B, Sam, and Bridgette!" The two guys caught their weapons happily, but Bridgette looked uncertain. "Lock and loaded with Bass Blue paint!" Chris told them before moving on.

"And using orange paint," the host grabbed a magenta gun off the rack, "are the Gopher hunters! Jo, Beth, Topher, Samey!"

"Good choice, Chris!" the handsome boy told his idol.

Chris smiled, putting on a pair of orange-tinted safety glasses and camouflage-print hat. "You _also_ get these _stylin'_ glasses an' _wicked_ camo caps! The rest of you," the camera turned to show the remaining eight campers and two deep notes were struck in the music, "are now _deer_. Here are your antlers, noses" he held up an antler headband and a small stick-on nose, "_aaaand_ little white _tails_," he finished by turning around and wiggling his own fake tail with a laugh.

"You _can't_ be _serious_!" Alejandro exclaimed.

Scarlett sighed. "I assume we'll be penalized if we remove this embarrassing equipment?"

"You got it!" Chris smiled, forcing the items on to Alejandro along with a pair of safety glasses, causing Jo to snicker.

"Well, if I _must_ be a deer," the tall boy said in resignation, "then at least I shall be a _handsome_ and _noble_ one."

"Whatever you say, _Bambi_!" Jo said with a smirk.

/

The Bass logo appeared in the top right corner as the team's three deers were shown walking through the woods.

"Hey, at least we get a head start," Geoff said.

"We should probably separate," Scarlett advised. "We stand a better chance of winning if they have to locate each of us individually." Geoff and Sierra nodded, and the three split up.

/

The scene cut over to the five Gopher deer, their own logo sliding into view in the corner.

"Well y'all, I'm outta here!" DJ said with a smile, bounding off on all fours.

"Me too," Shawn said as he started to climb a tree. "This'll be good _practice_ for the zombie apocalypse."

Alejandro and Beardo shared a look. "So then, what should we do?" The charmer turned to the last member of their group, but Dawn had disappeared without a trace.

Beardo produced an eerie whistle as he shared another look with Alejandro. "But seriously, I'm probably gonna go find Beth, an' see what Jo wants us to do _this_ time," he finished with a hint of bitterness.

"You really shouldn't allow Jo to dictate everything you do," Alejandro said. "I'm certain you're capable enough to hide on your own."

Beardo blushed at the charmer's smile. "Yeah,well, I figure nobody will expect me to be hangin' with a couple hunters, right? So I guess I'll see you later."

xxx

"Breaking up Jo's alliance may be easier than I expected," Alejandro mused in the confessional. "Jo may be the most difficult _individually_, but her allies appear to be more loyal to _each other_ than they are to Jo. If I can get rid of even _one_ of them, the alliance should disintegrate!"

xxx

A short triumphant melody was played over a shot of Sam, B, and Bridgette putting their hands together. "Go team!" the game said as they broke and the boys put on their glasses.

Bridgette still looked hesitant to be holding a gun, and her teammates took a step forward to console her. "Hey, don't worry about it! It's just paint, it's not like anybody's gonna get _hurt_ or anything. Just think of it as a _game_!"

The gentle girl took a deep breath and picked up her gun. "You're right. If I can stand being alone in the woods for six hours, I can stand shooting a few paintballs at the Gophers."

B smiled at her, and three set off.

/

"Start your paintballs!" The loudspeaker was shown again as the host signaled the beginning of the challenge. "_Game on_!"

"Alright!" Beth cheered, popping into the shot. "Let's go bag some _deer_!"

"Oh yeah!" Jo pumped her fist. "We're gonna show those Bass who's boss!"

Sammy hesitantly raised a hand. "Umm, sorry, but what's our plan? It's just that, y'know, the woods are pretty _big_, and there are only _three_ of them, so-"

"Good point, Samey!" Topher interrupted with a smile.

The cheerleader raised a finger to correct him. "Umm, it's _Sammy_..."

"Whatever," the handsome boy said dismissively. "The point is, it's time for _this_ guy," he pointed his thumbs towards his chest, "to show the world what he can do _alone_, so I'll catch you ladies later!"

As he walked away, Sammy walked closer to Jo and Beth. "As much as I hate to say it, the mini-Chris has a point," Jo said. "We need to split up if we wanna cover enough ground to find our prey, so Samey, you should go hunt in another direction."

"Okay," Sammy replied, "but, uhh, what about you two?"

Jo pursed her lips in thought, but it was Beth who answered. "I guess we could go find Beardo?" The jock-ette gave her a questioning look, and the wannabe quickly continued. "I mean, maybe he knows where some of the other deer are?"

"Good thinking," Jo said, looking impressed. "Alright, we're gonna go find Beardo, so you go start hunting."

"Oh! Okay. I guess that means I'll be on my _own_ then..." Sammy told her hesitantly, turning around and walking off. She briefly stopped to look back, but Jo and Beth had already gone. She hung her head ans sighed.

/

The footage skipped ahead to show the two girls quietly creeping through the forest. They stopped when they heard an unusual warbling song, and Beth gasped softly. "I _know_ that bird call!"

"_Good_," Jo deadpanned in a whisper, "now if you've finished admiring nature, we've got a _soundboard_ to find." She started to walk off, but Beth tugged on her arm.

"No, you don't _understand_," she said, "that's the signal _Beardo_ taught in case we ever needed to _find_ each other! I'm supposed to answer it with another call," she bit her lip, "but I can't remember how it _goes_..." She tried to whistle a few notes, but mostly just spluttered. Jo quickly got annoyed with her attempts and stood up from behind the bush they'd been behind.

"Hey Beardo!" she yelled. "If that's you, get your butt _out_ here!"

Sure enough, the hairy boy soon came into view. "Guess the signal worked, kinda..."

Jo rolled her eyes. "Yeah, whatever. Did you see any other deer before you got here?"

"Uh, no," Beardo told her, "not unless our team counts. But that was only at the start, I don't know where they are now."

The bossy blonde looked unimpressed. "Great, looks like we spent all that time looking for you for _nothing_." It was then that her eyes lit up, and a smile formed on her lips. "Actually, I just had an idea where to find some _deer_." Her allies gave her questioning looks, and she continued. "Look, we're probably gonna be out here for awhile, right? And since we had such a _crappy_ breakfast, sooner or later somebody's gonna get hungry."

"So we go where there's food!" Beth finished before donning a puzzled expression. "But _where_?"

"The only place on the island with halfway decent food- the dining hall." Beth and Beardo's eyes went wide.

xxx

"No _way_ is anyone crazy enough to try and take food from Chef's kitchen," Beardo confessed. "But Jo's too full of herself to listen to me or Beth, so I guess we gotta do _another_ of her bad plans." He sighed, and frowned. "Man, I have just about had it with her an' her _alliance_."

xxx

"Oh yeah," Topher grinned at the camera, "I make this look _good_. Those Bass won't know what hit 'em!" He struck a few poses with his gun, rolling forward a few feet and darting behind a tree. "Because, of course, only _I_ have the Chris-like _killer instincts_ that tell me the best ways to _bring out_ the _drama_!" He rolled forward again and took a few quick shots, the viewpoint switching to behind the boy, and showing his target stuffing her face in front of a bush.

"Looks like you missed me, _fake-fan_!" Sierra taunted hatefully, mouth covered in blueberry juice. She blew him a raspberry, and ran off giggling. Topher pursed his lips, flared his nostrils, and gave chase.

/

The scene cut back to Jo, Beth, and Beardo near the main part of camp. As they hid behind the corner of the dining hall, Chef emerged from the building wearing swim trunks and an inner tube. Whistling happily, he made his way past the three campers and across the common area.

Once he was gone, Jo stepped out of hiding. "Well then," she smiled, "if he's gone I might as well get something to eat myself!" She turned to her wary allies. "You two let me know if Chef or one of the Bass comes around, _got it_?" The two nodded.

/

Cutting back to Topher, the camera zoomed out from his close-up to show him walking through a different part of the forest – and more importantly, Sierra was stalking behind him. "Oh _Sierra_," he called, "come out, come out, wherever you are! You can't hide forever, you delusional _stalker_!" He heard a twig snap behind him and turned around, narrowly missing Sierra again. The two resumed their chase.

/

Back at the dining hall, Beth and Beardo had hidden in a nearby bush. While the large boy kept a lookout the small girl noticed something on the ground and picked it up. "Hey, look what I found!" Beth said, showing her friend the wooden idol from Boney Island.

xxx

"Yeah," Chris chuckled in the private outhouse, "I had an intern move the statue thingy somewhere the kids could find it more _easily_. What can I say? Curses are good for ratings!"

xxx

"Cool," Beardo said in admiration. He was broken out of his smile by the distinct sound of whistling, and a camera change revealed Chef on his way back. Beardo quickly made his warning bird call, and the scene switched to the interior of the dining hall.

"Huh?" Jo grunted, turning her head as she took a bag of chips from a cupboard. She walked out into the main room, brow furrowed as she focused on listening. "Wait, isn't that...?" She had missed the silhouette at the front door, which slammed open to reveal Chef Hatchet. The large man took one look at Jo and became furious.

"You did _not_ just steal food from _my_ kitchen!" he barked, charging at the teenaged girl who quickly ducked aside and ran out the door. The camera switched outside, and the girl's concerned allies were shown watching Jo run by, then fearfully joining in her escape.

/

Another clip of Topher and Sierra's cat-and-mouse game was shown, the handsome young man chasing the tall young woman across a stream. "Haha, you _so_ aren't in shape like _Chris_ is!" Sierra mocked. "Honestly, I don't even know why you _try_, you'll _never_ compare to him you know!"

"Oh, I will!" Topher shot back with words and paint. "Too bad _you'll_ never be anything more than a creepy _freak_ in _his_ eyes!"

/

The scene cut back to the trio of Gophers once again, showing them catching their breath in the woods. "I think we finally lost him," Jo muttered, looking around warily. "Probably can't go back there for awhile, but at least I managed to steal something before anyone else could."

"Hey, can I have a few?" Beth asked. "I'm kinda hungry myself."

Jo clutched the bag to her chest. "Get your own!" she barked. "I risked my _life_ getting these, all thanks to _you two_ not letting me know Chef was coming!"

"Sorry...," Beth sighed, looking down. "But hey, at least I found this cool statue!" She smiled as she held up the idol.

The viewpoint shifted to a nearby bush, and pulled back to show Alejandro watching the group. His eyes narrowed as he saw the idol in Beth's hands. "_Interesting_..." he muttered just before the footage cut away from him.

"It's just a stupid _statue_," Jo said dismissively. "Now come on, we've wasted enough time, we still have _hunting_ to do."

As the Gopher alliance turned to leave, the camera cut to yet another viewpoint. A green gun was lowered to shoot, but an arm was put in front of it. The shot pulled back to show Sam shaking his head at Bridgette, bringing a finger to his lips, then motioning for her and B to follow him in the direction Jo's group had gone.

/

Back with the Chris fanatics, the incline of the landscape suggested that the pair were running uphill. "Stop fooling yourself!" Topher yelled at his target, continuously firing shots. "You know you can't escape me forever!"

"_Never_!" Sierra shouted back, but she came to a sudden halt. The shot zoomed out, revealing that she'd been cornered on top of the highest cliff on the island.

Topher lowered his paintball gun and smiled. "_Finally_ this sequence is _over_! I could _really_ use a shower right now." He pulled the trigger, but nothing came out. Sierra grinned evilly and charged the boy, bull rushing him aside and over the cliff. Topher managed to hang on to the very edge, groaning as he lost track of his rival.

/

"Why don't we just _shoot_ them?" Bridgette whispered as the scene cut back to the Bass hunters.

"Because," Sam whispered backed, "this is a _stealth_ mission, not a shooting frenzy!" At the girl's blank look, he elaborated. "Look, as long as we _follow_ them we can shoot Beardo at any time! But if we stay out of sight and wait long enough, they might meet up with another one of their _deer_."

"So basically," Bridgette said, "we're letting them _take_ us to the other deer?" The gamer nodded, and the surfer smiled. "Good plan."

"Thanks," Sam said. "To be honest, it's better this way. B and I aren't exactly _suited_ to running around the woods." The silent young man nodded to indicate his teammate had a point, and the three hunters resumed their stalk.

/

The camera changed focus to the opened bag of chips as Jo ate a handful of them. She stopped mid-chew, quickly holding up her gun and beckoning her allies to stop as well. Geoff was shown walking aimlessly through a nearby clearing, deer antlers strapped over his usual cowboy hat. Jo lined up the shot, but a rustling behind her caught the party-lover's attention, and he ran away.

"Darn it, I almost had him!" Jo shouted angrily, whirling around to look at the source of the disturbance.

It was DJ who bounded into view on all fours with a mouth full of leaves. He flinched when he saw Jo's angry face, and Beth and Beardo's annoyance. "Uh, sorry y'all. I interrupt somethin'?" the gentle giant said apologetically.

"Yes, you _moose_!" Jo exclaimed. "I had Geoff in my sights, and now I have to track him down again!" She groaned and thrust the bag of chips at Beth, then ran off after the blond Bass.

DJ rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, and along with his teammates followed the aggressive young woman. The camera zoomed in on a trail of chip crumbs dropping from a hole in the bag Beth was holding, then showed the Bass hunters emerge from the bushes and smile. The shot panned over, revealing Alejandro hiding nearby. He raised an eyebrow, then smiled.

/

The shot cut back to Topher, on his back and panting at the top of the cliff. "Okay," he told himself, "_maybe_ I underestimated her. But I've still _got_ this, no doubt about it. Just gotta," he sat up, "regroup, and double down on the _ruthlessness_!" He jumped to his feet, struck a pose for the camera, dusted himself, then struck the same pose again.

Topher began to walk back down the cliff, and both he and the camera caught a glimpse of red hair in the trees. "Well what do we have _here_!" the boy grinned, quickly readying his gun and increasing his pace.

/

Once again, the focus shifted back to Jo. She was shown running through the woods for a few seconds, with DJ, Beardo, Beth, and a line of chip crumbs trailing her. Eventually the jock-ette came to a halt, threw her at to the ground, and growled.. "I lost him! This is all _your_ fault, Dumb Jock!"

"Maybe...," Beth panted, "he's still nearby?"

"No, I would've seen him by now," Jo corrected as she backtracked past her teammates. "I think I know where he got away, though, and..." she stopped when she noticed the line of crumbs that had marked their path. "What the heck is _this_?"

"Huh," Beth said, looking between the trail and the bag she held. "Looks like there's a _hole_!" She stuck a finger through to prove it.

Jo groaned. "Well that's just _great_! Now whoever's out there can _find_ us!"

"Well it's not like I _meant_ to leave a trail!" Beth defended herself.

"As if that _matters_," Jo countered. "Give me those, I'll finish 'em off so at least the trail will end _here_." She swiped the bag away from her ally and began to stuff the remaining chips into her mouth.

"Uh, maybe I should _go_," DJ offered.

"Me too," Beardo added. "I don't wanna risk gettin' _shot_ because of some chips." A sudden rustling of the bushes got the four's attention, and Beardo produced a few dramatic and shocking notes as he brought his hands to his mouth in fear.

The background music also became tense, but changed into a certain Latin riff as Alejandro revealed himself to the group. "Amigos!" he exclaimed with a look of concern. "I am glad I am not too late!"

/

The footage cut back over to Topher, showing him stalking through the forest. "Losing to Sierra is one thing," he told the camera, "she's basically the _foil_ to my shining star. She has to win _some_time or it wouldn't be as dramatic! But Scarlett?" He paused, gave an exaggerated shrug, and flashed a smile. "Poor girl just isn't in my _league_! I mean, have you _seen_ her? She's not even _clos_e to _this_ handsome hunter!"

As he got into his groove, he paid less and less attention to where he was walking. The camera zoomed in on partially-hidden snare trap, which Topher promptly stepped into. He screamed as he was sent flying upwards legs-first, and even dropped his paintball gun. Scarlett, a smug smile on her face, stepped into view and picked up the gun herself.

"Not the face!" Topher cried, putting his hands in front of his head. He was shot twice in the chest, then a third time in his favorite body-part once his guard had been broken.

/

Sammy was the next person the footage focused on. She trudged through the trees looking thoroughly lost. "Where _is_ everybody?" she murmured before tripping over an exposed root. Groaning on her knees, she crawled forward a few paces and something caught her eye. "Is that..." she wondered aloud, getting back up and walking forward into a small clearing where a tree had fallen. "...Dawn?"

The camera focused on the petite girl, sitting on a tree stump and still wearing her deer accessories. She appeared to be meditating. "Hmm?" she said, opening her eyes and blinking. "Oh, hello Sammy! I take it you haven't had any luck with the challenge?"

"Well, _no_..." Sammy admitted, sheepishly rubbing her arm. "I saw Scarlett a little while back, but I guess she set up some traps because I got caught in a _net_, and by the time I got out she was long gone."

Dawn clasped her hands together and peered deeply at her friend. "That's probably for the better," she said, continuing before the cheerleader had time to ask any questions. "Our team has been cursed with misfortune, so an ill fate would have likely befallen you had you kept hunting Scarlett."

Sammy gasped. "A _curse_?! But _how_? Did somebody take something off of Boney Island?"

The mystic frowned. "I'm not certain. I didn't notice anything before the challenge, but I can't think of any other cause! Fortunately, we're far enough away from the source of the curse that nothing _too_ bad should happen to us." She looked off in the distance, and Sammy did the same.

"Huh," the hunter said, "how can you tell?"

Dawn met her eyes, then looked at her own hands. "Our auras, of course. Well, mostly yours, since I can't really _see_ most of mine. The curse is sort of...a dark _fringe_ around the edge, like _tendrils_ trying to pierce it. But they're very _small_, so we should be relatively safe."

"Oh, right." Sammy replied with a nod. "So, uh, what do we _do_ about it?"

The deer sighed. "I won't know for certain until I get closer, but at the very least we _must_ get rid of the source of the curse."

/

The scene changed, showing the group of Jo, Beth, Beardo, and DJ giving Alejandro confused and wary looks.

"What do _you_ want, Alejan-deer?" Jo asked gruffly.

The tall boy's eyes twitched briefly, but he donned a smile. "Allow me to explain," he began, walking towards the smallest Gopher present. "Beth, may I see that wooden idol you have?"

"Okay," the bespectacled young woman said uncertainly, placing the statue in Alejandro's outstretched hand.

The charismatic young man examined the idol for a few moments, then sighed deeply. "It is as I feared. This is the same idol that Scott took from Boney Island, and no doubt the reason why the Killer Bass _lost_ the last challenge." All but Jo gasped, and Alejandro continued. "Beth, you _must_ get rid of this before _we_ get cursed as well!"

"Oh my gosh, what do I _do_?" Beth said, running about in a panic.

Jo rolled her eyes and tripped the girl. "We do _nothing_. As long as we win the challenge, then who _cares_ about some stupid _curse_?!"

The shot switched over to the trio of Bass hunters watching the conversation from the bushes and smiling. "Fire!" Sam cried with glee, and he, B, and Bridgette began peppering their five opponents with paint.

"Hey, this is kinda _fun_!" Bridgette laughed as the Gophers squirmed and tried to shield themselves in vain.

"Attention, human wildlife _and_ hunters!" Chris' voice was heard over the loudspeaker. The Gophers looked up in dread, all five now sporting splotches of blue paint. "Please report back to camp! It's time to show your hides and tally up the scores!"

/

"Tsk, tsk, tsk," Chris said as the shot switched to a close-up of Topher's disappointed face. The camera zoomed out to show the young man with several orange splatters as the host paced back and forth. "Stealing from Chef. Eating chips in the woods. Getting caught in traps," Chris listed off in a serious tone. "Do you _know_ what I see here?" the camera panned up to show his face, then panned across the spotless but cautious Killer Bass – Scarlett still holding Topher's gun – past the host, and over the colorfully ashamed Screaming Gophers. "I see a _very_ _un_disciplined group. I see a disgraceful mess. I see a _massive_ waste of paint product!"

As Chris continued, his face was given an extra-zoomed in close-up. "And, I have to say," the camera zoomed out and he began to grin, "that, was _awesome_!" He began to laugh. "When you guys got _ambushed_ like _sitting ducks_?" Chris told the Gophers, "just _classic_! _Great_ TV guys." B and Sam bumped fists.

"_Well_," Chris said after he'd taken a moment to calm down, "since six of the Gophers are dripping in paint," the camera panned over Topher, Jo, Beth, Beardo, DJ, and Alejandro, before returning to a furrowed-brow host, "and some of them aren't even _deer_," he turned to the other team and smiled, "I think we have our _winner_!"

Two-thirds of the Bass immediately began to cheer, only B and Scarlett refraining as per usual. "You're off to a hunting camp _shindig_!" Chris told them as they celebrated. "Gophers!" he turned back to the losers, "I'll see you at the campfire ceremony!"

"Well, at least we know who to vote off!" Jo said immediately after the host walked away.

Beardo made a sharp and shrill whistle similar to Jo's own, which gained him the immediate attention of his teammates. "I'm sorry, but are you suggestin' we vote Beth for something that isn't even her _fault_?" He asked the jock-ette. "What about our alliance?"

"The way I see it, _she_ caused us to lose," Jo said bluntly. "That counts as breaking the rules of the alliance, which means she's _out_, and no _way_ am I letting her curse mess us up again!" She and Beardo glared at each other.

xxx

"Y'know, I almost can't _believe_ Jo," Beardo confessed angrily. "But really, what did I expect? She _never_ saw us as anything more than a ticket to the final three. I can only hope that the others realize that _she_ was the reason why Beth got that cursed statue in the first place!"

xxx

"Of course, I _could_ have kept the origins of Beth's statue a secret and warned the others about the ambush," Alejandro explained in his turn at the outhouse, "but if it really _was_ cursed, then we would have lost anyway!" He smiled devilishly. "And now that Jo's alliance is through, _Beardo_ is ripe for the picking."

xxx

/

The shot of the moonlit night sky over the campfire pit signaled the start of the elimination ceremony. One camper's voice could already be heard over the opening scene.

"See, _this_ is why I decided to hide in a tree," Shawn stated matter-of-factly. "You guys could have been _smart_ and hid too, but _instead_ you unleashed a _curse_ on us and then got _caught_." He shook his head in disappointment.

xxx

"Uggh," Beth groaned in her confessional, "_why_ did I think that having an alliance with someone as mean and bossy as Jo was a good idea? I am _so_ over her. I just hope _she_ gets kicked out tonight instead of _me_!"

xxx

Dawn's confession was next. "Unfortunately, a _lot_ of negative energy has been transferred to Beth, so even if we _return_ the idol to its rightful place the curse will _not_ be broken until Beth leaves the island," she said sadly.

xxx

"Jo's pretty messed up," DJ admitted in the outhouse, "but I gotta agree with Dawn on this one – we _gotta_ break that curse."

xxx

"There are only _eight_ marshmallows on this plate," Chris said as the ceremony resumed. "When I call your name, come up and claim your marshmallow. The camper-"

He was cut off by Jo. "Blah blah, whoever doesn't get one has to leave and can't come back, get _on_ with it!"

Chris shot her an annoyed glance. "Fine, whatever, spoil the moment." He picked the first marshmallow off the plate and tossed it across the campfire. "Shawn. Samey. Topher. Dawn. Alejandro. DJ. Beardo." One by one, each camper had a marshmallow thrown at them. Most made their catch, but Dawn's went high and DJ's hit him in the chest.

"Campers," Chris said, holding up the last bit of white as the music turned dramatic, "this is the final marshmallow tonight." Jo and Beth were shown glaring at each other in split-screen, then each looked at Chris with dread. The host eyed the final marshmallow, and uttered a single name. "Jo."

"_Hah_!" the take-no-prisoners said, swiping her prize and pumping her fist. "I _knew_ you all weren't dumb enough to vote your strongest player off!" Her gloating her glares from the other Gophers.

"Beth!" Chris interrupted. "The Dock of Shame awaits!"

She stood and started to walk away with her head low, but was stopped by a hand on her shoulder. Beardo smiled at her, and as they made the trip together he made some of the sounds she'd liked most. They finally reached the end of the dock, and hugged.

"Give her one from me, okay?" Beth asked.

"I will." Beardo replied. She gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek, and boarded the Boat of Losers. As he waved her off, he put his hands to his lips and began to play 'Taps'.

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

**Author's Note - Post Script**

For those of you who do not know what 'Taps' is, I recommend you listen to it on YouTube or something similar. You have likely heard it before, it's a fairly common piece in the United States used at dusk or at funerals, especially by the military. I felt it appropriate for the elimination.

And yes, Beth did not make it as far as she did in canon, nor did she have as epic a retaliation against the leader of her alliance. Still, I myself an satisfied with how it turned out, and I hope that you readers are as well.

My apologies for those who were expecting a bear attack - I just couldn't think of a good way to work it in. Instead, I decided to have the chip crumb trail end up allowing the Bass hunters to keep track of their targets. I also decided to give Owen's solo scenes to Topher - I felt he was a good fit, and it also allowed a bit of development of his and Sierra's subplot.

There's probably something I've forgotten to comment on, but there's no use trying to remember it. Until next time, dear readers!

- Fangren

* * *

**Appendix: TSI Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (22nd Place)

Dakota - (21st Place)

Ezekiel - (20th Place)

Sugar - (19th Place)

Lightning - (18th Place)

Amy - (17th Place)

Scott - (16th Place)

Beth - (15th Place)


	10. Chapter 10 - If You Can't Take the Heat

**Author's Note**

Greetings, dear readers! Despite only minor progress on the part of the work being done on my house that affects me (and what's left shouldn't really hinder me at all), I've managed to work my way through Chapter 11, and thus am proud to present Chapter 10 for your viewing pleasure. However, judging by some of the reviews on the previous chapter, it seems there's something I need to clear up: **Beth and Beardo are just friends.** The kiss Beth planted on Beardo's cheek when she was walking down the Dock of Shame was intended to be purely platonic, and I apologize for not making that clear. I don't particularly mind the Beth/Beardo ship, but I don't intend on including it in this series. Again, I apologize for any disappointment I've caused.

With that out of the way, on to the reviews!

**Sleep Arypsure:** Well, their relationship isn't going to happen, but I do certainly intend on continuing their friendship in future seasons. Other than that, thanks as always!

**Bellyacher:** Yeah, especially when you have to deal with the time that passes between each clip in a single viewpoint's arc/subplot. It can't really be one single segment, so you have to break it up, but then all the pieces become tiny ind mixed with other tiny pieces...it works, but it's still annoying. I'm happy that you liked how I handled Sam, Sierra, and Topher as well!

**Madison Wooten:** Thank you as always! Regarding the Aftermath...well, even if Geoff and/or Bridgette hadn't been in this season I would have managed to make those episodes work.

**acosta perez jose ramiro:** Thanks again!

**XxRin-sanxX:** I'm glad you liked it! The Sierra-Topher scenes have certainly been fun to write, as has planning out their conflict. As for the Courtney/Duncan/Gwen triangle, I have to say I most prefer Courn (Courtney/Gwen), but only after significant amount of development on both sides. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy both Duncney and Gwuncan, but I don't think they were ever stable relationships - Duncan in particular is just too immature I think, although Courtney and Gwen have their issues as well. I hope that makes things clear!

**Star Saber21:** Yeah, I did toy with the idea of showing how Shawn was hiding, but decided against it in the end. It likely would've been something similar to what he did either in 'Twinning Isn't Everything' or one of the other times he's hidden.

**TotalCyborgPineappleIsland2:** Well, you were certainly right about Beth and Beardo!

**80jj:** Yeah, they're really close friends, but only friends. Thanks as always!

With all that said, I will leave you with the following disclaimer: I don't know much about cooking. It probably only matters for one or two things, but I feel I should get that out there anyway.

- Fangren

* * *

**Episode 10 – If You Can't Take The Heat**

"Last time, on Total Drama Island!" Following the stock shot of the host, the highlight footage opened with the two teams lined up as the previous challenge was explained. "Our competitors became hunters," B, Sam, and Bridgette were shown with their equipment, followed the Gopher deer as they split up, "_and_ the hunted!"

"Topher's game was off when Sierra gave him the slip," the tall girl's repeated escapes from her rival were shown, as was the handsome boy being strung up in a tree and shot with his own gun, "and Scarlett gave him a _snare trap_." Clips of the trip to the dining hall were shown next, focusing on Beth picking up the statue and then three Gophers running from Chef. "Beth got her hands on the statue of Boney Island when Jo made her act as a look-out, cursing her team. It wasn't long before the Gophers found each other," the trio's encounters with DJ and Alejandro were replayed, as well as shot of chip crumbs trailing from the pilfered bag, "and then an _ambush_." The Bass hunters were shown tracking their prey, and shooting all five repeatedly.

"Jo showed us just how much she valued her ally Beth by getting the _others_ to vote her off," the elimination was shown along with Jo arguing with the other members of her alliance, "ticking off her _other _ally, Beardo, in the process. With the teams at six to eight in their favor," the recap finished with a shot of the remaining Gophers at the campfire before switching to Chris," the Gophers are _still_ going strong. Will they manage to stay out of the fire? Or will the _Bass_ manage to finally get ahead? Find out tonight, on Total! Drama! _Island_!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

_Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

_You guys are on my mind!_

_Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

_And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

_I wanna be...famous!_

_I wanna live close to the sun!_

_Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

_Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

_I'll get there one day._

_'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

_(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

The episode began by fading in to a picturesque scene of the sun gleaming off top of a waterfall amidst the conifers of Wawanakwa. It then cut to a shot of the camp from eye-level at the end of the dock, the camera flying up and forward to the cabin of the Killer Bass. A yawn preceded a cut to Bridgette as she woke up and stretched her arms. The blonde blinked drowsily a couple of times, then her eyes popped open. "Uhh...," she began, "Sierra, what are you _doing_?"

The viewpoint rotated to show the surfer sitting up in a lower bunk on the left, with the background music becoming energetic and creepy. Sierra was sitting cross-legged on the covers of the lower bed to the right, with a pizza box open on her lap and was something brown and slightly shiny pressed to her right knee. She looked back at her roommate and said matter-of-factly, "I'm sending my mom an e-mail, _duh_!" She began to 'type' on the pizza box, freeing the cockroach she'd been using as a mouse to scurry away.

Bridgette cringed. "_Right_..." With a look of desperation she turned to look at the other side of the room, and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Scarlett, wide awake and taking notes from her top bunk.

"She appears to be suffering from technology withdrawal," Scarlett explained at Bridgette's pleading look. "Although the onset is considerably later than the form Sam suffers from each time Chris confiscates one of his portable gaming consoles, I'm currently uncertain as to the reasons behind the discrepancy."

"It's because Dakota stopped letting me use her phone," Sierra answered suddenly without taking her eyes off her fake laptop, "ever since she found out I was secretly using it. Now where'd that _mouse_ go?" She furrowed her brow, and leaned over to check under her bed. Bridgette shuddered.

/

The footage flashed ahead, showing the silhouette of an eagle against the morning sun before panning down to show the fourteen campers assembled on the beach with Chris. "Today's challenge will test your _mind_," the host began with a tap on his head, "your _teamwork_, and your _skills_ in the _kitchen_! You'll be cooking a three-course meal, and serving it to _me_, for _tasting_. The winners get a _reward_, the _losers_ will send somebody _home_."

The camera cut to a close-up of the Bass boys and Bridgette as they listened. "Each team will appoint a _Head Chef_," Geoff and Sam shot hesitant looks at each other, "to create the theme of the meal, _and _to oversee the cooking."

The smiling host was shown again "To _cook_, you need _ingredients_! Every morning," the scene cut over to a few bubbles at the edge of the lake as a small delivery truck backed up out of it and on to the beach, "a truck brings us food. Today's tasks start there." The cabin of the truck was zoomed in on, and a uniformed dolphin popped its head out of the window and saluted the camera cheerfully.

/

The doors to the truck trailer were seen being opened by Geoff and Sam from the inside, the light revealing a variety of hanging meats and crates of fruit and eggs. The two guys' faces lit up, and Geoff was focused on by the camera. "We could do a killer _Italian_ theme!" he declared.

"Sounds good to me," Bridgette said as she peeked into the trailer.

"I guess that makes you Head Chef!" Sam agreed with a chuckle.

"Awesome, dudes!" Geoff told them. "Then let's get grabbin'!"

As the party boy stepped in up to the trailer, the Gophers were seen making their own approach. "I'll take the role of Head Chef, if nobody objects." Alejandro told his team.

"Well _I_ object," Jo said immediately, "so just step aside and let me see what I have to work with."

She took a step past her rival, but he pulled her back. "Actually, I _must_ insist. I am quite the skilled cook!"

"Oh yeah?" the athlete scoffed. "Well _so_ am _I_!"

"Then let's take a vote, shall we?" Alejandro suggested. "Those in favor of Jo being Head Chef, raise your hands." To her dismay, only Jo herself raised a hand. "And those in favor of _myself_ as Head Chef?" His hand was accompanied by those of Topher and Beardo.

"Hey, what about the alliance?!" Jo shouted at the hairy boy, who merely made the sound of a loud buzzer and walked past her. "Fine, be that way!" the jock-ette spat, crossing her arms and turning her back on her team.

"Sweet!" Geoff said as he led his team past the Gophers, all six members with an armful of ingredients. "Let's hit the road!"

"Now that that has been settled," Alejandro said once the competition had passed, "I think we should go with a _French_ theme. I've already got the dishes in mind, so here is what we'll need..."

/

The footage immediately skipped ahead to the Bass entering the kitchen with their food. "Okay," Geoff said, tossing a can into the air as he brought up the rear, "we got like three courses, and five people. How we gonna split this up?" He tossed the can to Scarlett, who caught it and placed it on their counter top.

"I'm pretty good with pasta," Sam volunteered first.

"Me too!" Bridgette added, and the two high-fived.

"Given his creative skills, B should be sufficient to prepare the antipasto," Scarlett offered. "Similarly, Sierra and I will make the dessert."

B gave her a thumbs-up, while Sierra looked thoughtful. "Maybe I should look up a recipe online?"

Scarlett and Bridgette shared a look. "No, that won't be necessary," Scarlett told the girl.

Geoff grinned. "Okay, looks like we're good to go!"

xxx

"The sole reason I volunteered to work cooperatively with Sierra for this challenge," Scarlett confessed, "was because she needs to be carefully observed. Unfortunately, I am the only one qualified to do so. Bridgette is aware of the problem but lacks the knowledge necessary to mitigate it, and is too easily distracted by Geoff. B is the only person on the island with intelligence close to my own, but is unaware of Sierra's technology withdrawal. And finally, Sam and Geoff are significantly inadequate in _all_ relevant areas." She sighed deeply. "Once again, I find myself the most important member of the team. Fortunately, they are at least able to work cooperatively without significant issue."

xxx

Sierra was shown staring blankly at the workspace in front of her; sitting prominently on top of was piece of paper with blurred writing on it. "Is there an issue with the instructions I gave you?" Scarlett asked dryly. "Do you understand each step, or do you require further explanation?"

"No," Sierra answered, "I get it, but I just think we should make it more _special_, y'know? Make it more specific to _Chris_, so he'll like it more."

"That..." the redhead paused, searching for words, "is a hypothetically _sound_ idea, but we shouldn't risk going off-theme. Secondarily, evidence from your previous attempts to impress Chris McClean has suggested a net _opposite_ effect, so I'm skeptical your efforts would provide the desired results."

"But-" Sierra started, getting silenced immediately.

"No buts, please," Scarlett said. "If you have a suggestion, write in down in detail and I will consider it when I have the time." Sierra frowned, and began to look over her written instructions.

/

Traditional french accordion music began in the background as the focus shifted over to the Gophers. "Gentlemen," Alejandro said to Beardo and Topher as they entered the kitchen bearing a sack of onions and a box including a baguette and other unidentifiable ingredients, "you shall be in charge of the appetizer: french onion soup."

"You got it!" Topher grinned, setting his box on the counter. Beardo merely gave a short ding to indicate he'd heard, and placed the onions down.

Dawn, DJ, and Sammy were the next to come into view, bearing a box of miscellaneous ingredients, a crate of oranges, and a whole duck on a tray respectively. "And you three, of course, shall be tasked with the main course: duck à l'orange. DJ, as you have the most culinary experience, I'll trust _you_ to take the lead for this."

The gentle giant shrugged as he and his friends took their stations. "Haven't really made duck before, but I won't let you down!"

"I'm certain you won't, my friend," Alejandro smiled, turning his attention to the last members of his team. "And last, but certainly not least, Shawn and Jo shall be making our dessert: mille-feuille. I trust you two can handle it?"

"Napoleon slice?" Shawn asked, setting his box of ingredients on the counter with Jo just behind him. "Yeah, I can do that. I worked in a bakery for awhile, cake decorating is a pretty useful skill."

Jo rolled her eyes, and Alejandro smiled. "Good to hear it!"

/

The accordion music faded as the camera cut over to Sierra and Scarlett, working with a mixing bowl and a wad of dough respectively. The taller girl tasted a spoonful of whatever creamy substance she'd been working on and frowned. "It needs a little _more_..." she muttered, earning a questioning look from Scarlett. "I'll be back in a sec!" Sierra said, leaving before her partner could stop her.

The scene panned over to Alejandro, who watched the girl depart with interest. "I just thought of something we could add," he told his team, "I'll just be a moment. DJ, you're in charge while I'm gone."

"Hey," Jo protested, "why does _he_ get to be in charge?"

"Because _I _am the Head Chef," Alejandro told her plainly, "and so it is up to _my_ discretion to determine chain of command. I will be back shortly." As he turned and left, Jo leveled a glare at DJ, who smiled sheepishly.

/

Geoff was shown stirring a tall and steaming pot on the stove, taking a sip and smiling. In the background, Sam and Bridgette were shown chopping tomatoes, and the camera focused on the surfer as she watched the party boy. He left the stove and started to whistle, walking behind Sam and Bridgette. The gamer's eyes went from the girl to the boy, and he smiled. "Hey, I'm gonna go get some more tomatoes, and maybe a sausage or too for some killer meatballs. Geoff, mind taking over for a bit?"

"No prob, man!" Geoff said, turning around and tipping his hat.

"Cool!" Sam grinned, taking his leave and allowing the party-lover to get close to his fellow blonde.

As Geoff began to chop, he met Bridgette's eyes and they both smiled. "Y'know, you look really _good_ when you're cookin' dinner," he told her. She looked down shyly, and he continued with confidence. "Kinda like my friend Evan's _really_ hot mom!"

The smile immediately slid off Bridgette's face. "_Excuse_ me?" she asked him. "What is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Uhh...," Geoff said, starting to sweat," just that you'd make a really good mom some day!" He smiled at her, but Bridgette didn't look impressed.

/

The next cut showed Sierra rooting around the back of the truck, tossing a few small cans and boxes over her shoulder. "Oh!" a voice said suddenly, causing the young woman to raise her head and look behind her. "I apologize, I didn't realize you were in here," Alejandro said with a smile.

"What do _you_ want?" Sierra asked with a frown as the young man stepped into the trailer.

"I merely came out here to fetch a few more _ingredients_ for my team, like you I assume," he explained. The two spent a few seconds searching in silence before Alejandro began speaking again. "Although I will admit, it _would_ be a blessing to have someone like _you_ on my team," he said with his best smile.

Sierra blushed briefly, but shook it off. "Okay, if you're trying to _flirt_ with me," she snorted, "it's not gonna work. You _really_ aren't my type." She closed her eyes and turned her back towards the boy, ponytail knocking over a few cans as she spun.

Alejandro immediately became defensive, eyes becoming wide and hands waving in front of him. "Oh no, you misunderstand! I did not mean my remark like _that_. Of course you're not interested, as _anyone_ can see. I merely meant that, with your unparalleled knowledge of _Chris_, our team's victory would be _guaranteed_!"

Sierra huffed. "Yeah, well, tell that to _Scarlett_," she muttered.

"Clearly," Alejandro said, "she does not _appreciate_ what you are capable of. I probably shouldn't be telling you this," he leaned in conspiratorially, "but even _Topher_ fears that Chris prefers you to him. It is obvious that only _you_ know what Chris _truly_ likes, and that Scarlett is _jealous_ of your knowledge. I mean," he told her, every word causing her frown to deepen, "a brainiac like that must not be able to stand _anyone_ knowing more than her!"

"You know what," Sierra said, "you're _right_! Who _cares_ what that jealous _Scarlett_ thinks, I'm gonna do what I _have_ to to please our host!"

"Yes," Alejandro grinned devilishly behind her back, "you do that."

/

"Hey, don't go so fast with that," Shawn told his current partner as she grumpily worked the pastry dough, "you need to give it enough time between folds!"

"Uggh, why does this stupid thing take so long to _make_!" Jo groaned. "What difference does it make how long it sits there like a _lump_!"

"Because," Shawn explained, "if you don't make the puff pastry right, then it doesn't have the same taste and texture, which throws the whole thing off! And at _that_ point, we might as well have spent all this time doing _nothing_!"

"_Fine_," Jo said forcefully. She let go of the pastry and crossed her arms. "Stupid _French_ and their namby-pamby _baked goods_..."

It was then that Alejandro returned, with Sierra at his tail. "So how are things going?" he asked DJ as the gentle giant peeked into the oven.

"Just about to put the duck in," DJ replied as he closed the oven and turned his full attention to the Head Chef, "and I think Beardo and Topher are just about done with the onions. You get what you were lookin' for?"

"Unfortunately not," Alejandro said with a tinge of regret. "It seems they did not have the spice I desired, so we shall have to do without."

"No problem man," DJ said, putting a hand on his teammate's shoulder, "we got this."

The camera showed Chris poking his head over the small swinging door on one side of the kitchen. "Smells good already!" he smiled after taking a deep breath through his nose. "Just three hours left, though, so keep working!"

/

The music became tense as a beehive was shown hanging in the eaves of one of the cabins. The camera panned down, revealing Sam carrying a crate of tomatoes and sausage and eying the hive warily. "Hmm...take the _quick_ route and risk the _bees_, or the _long_ route and risk not having as much time to _prepare_," he said to himself. He looked down and saw that a number of glass bottles were laying on the path, and raised an eyebrow. "Weird, I could've _sworn_ those weren't here when I came through last time."

A groan off-camera got his attention, and he looked over to see Dakota standing with a few rakes. She was balanced on one foot, rubbing the other one and looking annoyed at a stone in front of her. "Stupid rock..." She looked up and noticed her former teammate. "Oh, hey! I didn't see you there!"

"Hey Dakota," Sam greeted with a brief smile. "Uh, did you put all that stuff under the beehive?"

"Yeah, Chris wants somebody to get _stung_ or something," the heiress-turned-intern explained, "So I've been stuck carrying this junk around all _day_." She threw the rakes down in front of her, only one of them landing tines-up.

Absentmindedly, Sam walked towards his crush. With the crate of food blocking his view of the ground, he didn't notice a bottle in his way before he stumbled over it. He managed to keep his balance, only to step on the one dangerous rake. He yelled in pain, which aggravated the bees above him. Dakota was cut to, wincing as the gamer was repeatedly stung off-screen. "Oh, wow..." she said. "I feel _weird_, almost like I want to..._apologize_? Is that the word?" Sam stumbled back into the shot, covered in stings but still holding his crate. "Umm..._sorry_?" Dakota offered hesitantly.

"Don't...," Sam heaved, "don't worry...about it..." He slowly plodded away.

/

The camera panned over the Bass and Gophers working to show Sam stumble through the kitchen door and collapse. "Whoa, dude, are you alright?" Geoff said, rushing over to his friend.

"Yeah..." the gamer panted, "just a few stings. But I got the stuff I wanted!" He held up the crate, and Geoff took it from him.

"Good goin', man," the fun-lover told him, "but we _gotta_ get those stings checked out!"

"As long as he doesn't have an allergic reaction," Scarlett said as she walked over, "he'll be fine. For now, focus on removing the stingers as quickly as possible by any means necessary, and then apply a cold compress to as much of the affected area as you can in order to reduce pain and swelling."

"On it!" Sam said woozily, getting to his feet. "Just give me somewhere I can sit down..."

"Right this way, buddy," Geoff said, helping the gamer to the bass' side of the kitchen, "and don't worry, I'll make sure the pasta gets finished."

"Thanks, man..." Sam told him.

Scarlett walked back over to where Sierra was working, and noticed her looking closely at a number of small jars. "What are those?" the brainiac asked..

The stalker's eyes went wide, and she quickly hid the jars behind her back. "Nothing!" she said with a grin. Scarlett raised an eyebrow.

/

The shot cut to an eye-level view from the beach, the camera flying and around to focus on the dining hall. Another cut to the kitchen showed Beardo and Topher grating cheese. "That looks about good," Topher said, "time to check on the soup!" He dashed off-camera and reappeared in the foreground, smelling the steam coming off a medium-sized pot as Beardo watched with a bored look.

"Why are you wasting time with _cheese_ when you're making an _onion_ soup?" Jo asked as she walked by.

"Because you put the _cheese_ on top of the _bread_," Beardo told her without making eye contact, "and you put the _bread_ on top of the _soup_, just like Alejandro _said_."

Jo crossed her arms. "Well, good. Looks like you can follow directions after all!"

Beardo finally turned to look at her. "Is there a reason you're _here_ and not helpin' Shawn with the dessert?"

"Yeah, the Baking Hermit messed up the frosting, so now _I_ have to go get more from the truck!" Jo answered.

"Well then," Beardo told her as he turned back to his own task, "you'd better get on that."

The dirty blonde snorted. "Yeah, I will."

xxx

"Beardo better watch that _attitude_," Jo complained in the confessional, "because without _me_ to take him to the top, he's gonna need allies, and _fast_! He's just lucky he hasn't cost us a _challenge_ yet."

xxx

"For the record," Shawn said as he approached his hairy teammate with a bowl being stirred in his hands, "_she_ was the one who messed up the frosting, not me. It's like she doesn't even understand the _subtlety_ involved! I mean," he ranted, "you don't just _squirt wildly_ and expect to get good coverage! You've gotta use _finesse_, make sure it turns out _exactly_ how you want it to." Beardo's raised eyebrow went unnoticed as Shawn finished in a matter-of-fact tone. "That way, when the hordes of undead show up at your door, you can be _sure_ you'll be able to hide from 'em!"

"Well, I don't know about that _last_ part," Topher chimed in as he came back to his work station, "but I _will_ agree that _Jo_ needs to _go_. She's bad for our image _and_ our morale! I mean, just _looking_ at her makes _me_ depressed. How about the three of us work together to get her voted out?"

"Uh, if you're looking to form an alliance," Shawn said, "then count me out. I'm not interested in having _obligations_ to other people. One minute you're asking me to vote for someone, the next you're expecting me to save you from a pack of ravenous brain-eaters. No thanks!" Beardo and Topher shared a look as Shawn walked away.

/

The music became deep and tense as Sierra became the focus of the scene. Scarlett had just taken a sheet of finished pastry shells out of the oven while Sierra finished stirring the custard. "I need to use the restroom for a moment," the redhead informed her partner, "please don't begin until I return."

Sierra nodded vigorously, and watched her leave. A grin formed on her face, and she took a small plastic jar out of her pocket. The camera zoomed in on it, showing an image of a chili pepper on its side. "Chris _loves_ spicy food," Sierra could be heard whispering as the camera zoomed back out to show her looking around at her teammates. B was pondering over his plate of antipasto; Sam was in a chair holding a bag of ice to his multiple stings; Bridgette was checking the pasta; and Geoff was making sandwiches.

Sierra grinned again, unscrewed the lid of the jar, and sprinkled pepper flakes into her custard.

"Hey guys!" Geoff announced suddenly, forcing Sierra to hide her secret ingredient. "I made us some sandwiches so we can chow down while we work!"

"Cool, I'm _starving_! Who knew getting attacked by angry bees could be so _tiring_?" Sam chuckled as he, B, and Bridgette happily approached their Head Chef. With them distracted, Sierra quickly dashed over to the dish of meaty pasta sauce that was to be used and sprinkled pepper in it. Nodding happily, she shoved the jar back into her pocket, snatched a sandwich from Geoff's plate, and went back to stirring the custard.

/

"Okay, the bees were supposed be somewhere around _here_..." Jo muttered to herself as she jogged across the common area. She spotted the various hazards on the ground and pursed her lips, easily jumping over all of them. "Ha! It'll take more than that to take _me_ down!" she shouted cockily. As soon as she left the screen, a swarm of bees flew out of the hive and chased after her.

/

Aside from Shawn, the Gophers were shown putting the last few touches on their respective meals when Jo barged through the door. She quickly slammed it shut and braced herself against it, eyes wide. "Bees..." she told her team upon receiving several inquisitive looks. "But I managed to outrun 'em. Probably a good idea to stay _inside_ right now."

"Did you get the frosting?" Shawn asked. Jo frowned and tossed the small can at him; he caught it and raised an eyebrow. "Not exactly what I was _hoping_ for, but I'll make it work. I should try thinning it out a bit..." he said, tapping his chin as he walked back to the unfinished mille-feuille.

"So, anything _else_ I need to do myself?" Jo asked of Alejandro as the tall young man walked up to her.

"Not so much," he told her. "The soup is finished and merely needs to be kept warm," Alejandro motioned to Beardo and Topher as the high-fived and shot smug looks at their teammate, "likewise the duck will be finished in minutes and merely needs the sauce and proper garnishment," he moved his hand over to the smiling trio who had been working on the main course, "and Shawn is _more_ than capable of decorating the dessert himself. I'm afraid there just isn't much left for you to do!"

Jo looked around the room, then smirked. "Good job! Looks like you managed to do well for yourselves without _me_ to hold your hands for once. You just better hope the food's actually _good_ or whoever messed up their part is going home tonight."

The other Gophers shot her annoyed looks.

/

The scene cut over to Bridgette and Geoff, standing in front of the pot of pasta on their team's stove. "Help me with this," the surfer girl asked the Head Chef, holding up a strainer and pointing at the sink. Geoff smiled at her, and together the two blondes lifted the pot and drained the noodles. As the steam faded away and the water passed through the strainer, the two bass turned back to the bowl of sauce and meatballs.

"Man, Sam made a good call getting' this spicy Italian _sausage_," Geoff said as he sampled the sauce. "Adds a little _kick_, y'know what I'm sayin'?" He paused a moment, then scratched the back of his head. "Oh yeah, you're a vegetarian. No sausage for you I guess."

Bridgette craned her head over the sauce and took a sniff. "No, but it definitely _smells_ good. I think we've got a good shot at winning this!"

"I know, right?" Geoff smiled. "I was beginnin' to think I was on a team of _losers_!" He laughed a bit, then caught Bridgette's annoyed look. "Uh, I just meant that, y'know, we weren't gonna win any of the challenges because of who was on our team."

Bridgette sighed, and shook her head.

xxx

"Geoff's _cute_," the surfer confessed, "but sometimes he really needs to _think_ before he says something." She sighed. "Well, nobody's perfect!"

xxx

"Man, Bridge is _perfect_," Geoff swooned in the outhouse. "She's, like, so _patient_ an' stuff. I just need to figure out how to _talk_ to her, y'know? I don't wanna keep messin' up like I've been doin', that's for sure."

xxx

The accordion music began again as a vase of roses was placed on a pale green tablecloth, the camera zooming out to show Alejandro as the one who had placed it. He and Geoff stood at opposite sides of the table at which Chris sat.

"You meal shall arrive in moments, _monsieur_!" Alejandro told the smiling host.

Geoff leaned over and lit the candelabra on the table, and blew out the match. "Your meals comin' right up, dude! I mean, _sir_!" He bowed and backed away from the table.

/

A close-up of each of the Bass' three courses was shown. First the artfully arranged antipasto platter, then the platter of spaghetti and sausage meatballs, and finally the custard-filled pastries with a slightly unusual color. The six members of the team stood around it and smiled.

"Man, I'm getting' hungry just _lookin'_ at it!" Geoff said. "We've got this in the _bag_!"

"Oh yeah," Sierra said confidently, "I just _know_ Chris will love it!"

The camera cut over to the Gopher's side of the kitchen, and the close-ups of their meal: the steaming bowl of soup with bread and cheese on top, the roast duck covered in orange sauce, and the mille-feuille with a vague picture drawn on the top in chocolate.

"Alright," Jo announced, "I'll watch the food so the rest of you get out there."

"I doubt it will be necessary," Alejandro told her, "but be my guest. Well then amigos," he turned to the rest of the team, "to our victory!" Smiling, he led them out of view.

As soon as they had left, Jo swiped a bit of orange sauce off the duck with a single finger. She stuck it in her mouth, and looked impressed, muttering "Not bad."

/

Chris was shown with the plate of antipasto in front of him, chewing and swallowing. He smiled and shot the Bass a thumbs up. "Your antipasto passed the test-o! Pass the pasta please!"

B was shown wiping the sweat from his brow, then Geoff placed the main course on the table and removed the antipasto. Chris took a fork full of noodles and shoved it into his mouth, chewing it a bit and slurping up the hanging end of the last bit of pasta. He signaled his approval and smiled at Sam and Bridgette at the side of the table. "Just a little bit spicy, just how I like it! I'll give it a 15!" The two Bass smiled, and the host faced the camera. "And _how_ will the Gophers respond?"

Alejandro was shown standing by the door to the kitchen flanked by Beardo and Topher, who held the empty bowl of soup. A drumroll was heard in the background music as the Gopher's Head Chef stepped aside to allow DJ to enter with the main course. The camera lingered over the duck: sliced, covered in sauce, and laying on a platter. The gentle giant paused long enough for Dawn and Sammy to scurry out behind him and quickly lay down the host's place setting. The blondes scampered off to the sides just as quickly as they had arrived, and DJ set the duck on the table.

Chris took a moment to take it all in. "This smells _fantastic_!" he said with a grin. He stabbed a piece of meat with his fork and took a bite. DJ was shown biting his nails nervously as the host and judge chewed slowly, his assistants on either side also looking anxious. Finally, Chris swallowed and smiled. "_Easily_ one of the best ducks I've ever had. I'm giving it and the soup a combined score of 16, putting you _just_ ahead of the Bass!"

As their teammates cheered, Dawn, DJ, and Sammy shared a hug. They broke it abruptly a moment later, each one blushing.

"Well then," Chris announced, "time for dessert!"

The footage skipped forward to the host sniffing one of the Bass' pastries with the slightly reddish custard filling. He looked hesitant, but shrugged and took a bite. After a few chews his eyes began to water. "Why...," he coughed, "why the heck is it _spicy_?!"

"_Spicy_?" Scarlett repeated, taking a taste from another pastry and recoiling at the taste. "Sierra!" she hissed at the girl standing nearby.

"But...," Sierra said in confusion, "but you _love_ spicy food!"

"Not _custard_!" Chris angrily countered. "I mean _yeah_, it was good with the _meatballs_, but _this_? This just _sucks_." He took a moment to compose himself while Sierra began to tear up. "That said, it didn't kill me, so what the heck? 2 points for effort." As the failed pastry chef was forcibly lead away by her teammates, Chris turned to their competition. "Gophers! Better hope _your_ team didn't mess this one up!"

Shawn brought over the plate of mille-feuille and shot a cocky smirk across the room. Chris took one look at it and grinned. "Now _this_ is what I like to see!" The pastry was shown from the top, and Shawn's handiwork could be seen clearly: the image of the host himself grinned up from the top of the dessert. He eagerly took a bite, and made his decision. "Honestly, it could use a little work," Jo scowled, "but I like it! I'll give it 6 points, and with the scores at 21 to 17, the Gophers are the winners!"

The winners cheered, and the camera panned over the six disappointed Bass. "_This_ is why I told you to inform me of your ideas _before_ implementing them!" Scarlett scolded her taller teammate.

Sierra huffed and turned away. "Why do _you_ get to be the boss? _You're_ not Head Chef! Besides, it's not like _you_ know what Chris likes!"

"Although you are _technically_ correct," Scarlett conceded, "I still could have _prevented_ you from introducing _capsaicin_ to the _dessert_!"

"Whatever," the super-fan said, "you're just _jealous_ of that I knew something that you _didn't_." As Sierra walked away, Scarlett grit her teeth."

"_Okay_..." Chris said slowly, drawing the camera back to him. "Looks like the Bass are gonna be down yet _another_ member soon, with their _five_ to the Gophers' _eight_. And as promised, the winners will be enjoying a reward tonight." A drumline started up as Chris made his announcement. "A five-star dinner, under the stars."

The Gophers cheered again.

/

The three Bass boys were seen assembled on their cabin's porch. "Man, I can't believe Sierra messed with the food like that," Geoff said sadly. "I mean, I totally would've let her try it is she'd asked, but just doin' it behind our backs?" He rubbed the back of his head. "I don't know, man."

"Yeah, I know how you feel," Sam added. "I mean, I tried one of the leftover pastries and they weren't half bad, but it wasn't a risk we should've taken." B nodded his agreement.

"Guess she doesn't know as much about Chris as she thought?" Geoff said. "Bummer."

/

Inside the Bass cabin, Scarlett and Bridgette were having a discussion of their own. "I assume tonight's vote needs no explanation?" the redhead asked as she cleaned her glasses.

The surfer sighed. "No...it's just, I don't know, I feel _sorry_ for her, you know? I mean, she was only trying to _help_..."

Unnoticed by Bridgette, Scarlett rolled her eyes. "Her intent and lapse in judgment cost us the challenge," she explained, "and we can no longer afford to indulge her peculiarities. Or is there someone _else_ you believe to be a better candidate for elimination?"

Bridgette sighed again. "No..."

xxx

"So I made a _teensy-weensy_ little mistake," Sierra told the confessional's camera. "It's not like I'm the _only_ one. Alejandro was right, Scarlett _totally_ thinks she's smarter than everyone else, but she's _not_."

xxx

"Okay, yeah, I got a few hornet stings," Sam confessed, still noticeably swollen. "Could've done better today, but hey! Never thought I'd make it _this_ far!"

xxx

Bridgette was next to be shown in the outhouse, and she was visibly distraught. "_Why_ do we keep _losing_?!" she exclaimed, putting her head in her hands. "I thought for sure after _last_ time we were finally turning things around, but I guess that was too much to hope for." She sighed. "Maybe Geoff was right..." her eyes went wide and she slapped herself. "No! Even if we _have_ lost a bunch of times, we are _not_ a team of losers!"

xxx

Geoff flicked his hat and looked around uncertainly. "Yeah, I dunno man, but I guess Sierra _did_ mess us up today..."

xxx

"I vote for Sierra," Scarlett said plainly.

xxx

B was the last person to be shown in the confessional. He looked at the camera and shrugged.

xxx

As the elimination ceremony began, Scarlett and Sierra were shown glaring at each other in the front row. Behind them, Sam's swelling had gone down but he still held an icepack to his face.

"I've got _six_ Bass sitting in front of me tonight," Chris said with a smile as he approached the campers, "but only _five_ fluffy bits of sweet safety in my hands! So," he placed his plate down on an empty stump, "good luck! When I call your name, come up and get a marshmallow. Bridgette!" The surfer girl smiled and walked up to claim her prize.

"B!" The silent genius also walked over with confidence, popping the sweet into his mouth before returning to his seat.

"Geoff!" The party-lover was next, eagerly going up to the host. As he returned from off-camera he winked at Bridgette.

"Sam!" The penultimate player to be called breath a sigh of relief and grabbed his marshmallow.

"Scarlett, Sierra!" Chris said as the pair were shown perking up. "It's down to you! Whoever doesn't get this last marshmallow must _immediately_ walk the Dock of Shame. and leave on the Boat of Losers! _Forever_!"

As the music picked up into it's usual level of ceremonial drama, Sierra was shown trembling with nerves while Scarlett looked confident and haughty. "The final marshmallow goes to...," the host began as the camera lingered on the lone prize. As he drew out the pause, the two young women's eyes were shown in alternating close-ups as they eyed the marshmallow.

"Scarlett," Chris finally announced.

"Naturally," the redhead said as both girls realized who had been eliminated. "It was a logical and predictable conclusion of your failure to follow my directions."

Sierra sighed, and stood up.

"It was fun while it lasted," Geoff said as she left.

"That's it for tonight!" Chris told the Bass as Sierra walked past him, shuddering as she gave him a sudden but brief hug. "Uh, _yeah_," he said as she finally left the clearing, "I'll be honest, kinda glad you got rid of her. She was _really_ annoying me."

"At least she was someone on _our_ team," Sam commented. "Now the Gophers have got nearly _twice_ as many people!"

"Yeah, good luck with that!" Chris laughed, leaving the Bass to stew in their defeat.

/

A wolf was shown howling at the moon before the shot cut to the Gopher's cabin. The four boys were shown getting ready to sleep before the camera zoomed in on Alejandro and Topher, the latter looking mildly annoyed. "So, the Bass must _surely_ have eliminated Sierra tonight," Alejandro told his teammate. "I thought you would be _happier_ knowing she is finally gone?"

"Yeah, well," Topher said as he checked his reflection in the mirror, "_I_ wanted to be the one who eliminated her. I mean, after all the _drama_ between us, you'd think she'd at _least_ have stayed until the teams merge!" He sighed, and walked over to his bed. "This whole thing was just one big _disappointment_," he continued. He got under his covers, and the lights in the room went out.

Topher muttered one last sentence before the footage cut to static. "She was almost as bad a _rival_ as she was a _friend_..."

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

**Author's Note - Post Script**

I chose the French theme for the Gophers because I wanted something that would allow Shawn to make use of his cake decorating skills. I did research a few different Latin American cuisines as something like that was my first choice, but nothing really satisfied me dessert-wise. I apologize if I've overlooked anything.

Likewise, no clue what happens when you mix chili pepper flakes into custard. Probably not as bad as I made it out to be. I did take some liberties with Chris' food preferences, as they hadn't really been stated in canon, but I figured it was something Sierra would pull out for this sort of challenge.

My initial idea for Sierra's elimination in this chapter involved her somehow creeping up the presentation rather than tampering with the food, but I wasn't able to flesh that idea out any further so I changed it into something I think works better overall.

Also, nobody got locked in the fridge. I did consider it with Jo, but she didn't really have anything that stood out as bait like Heather did with her make-up bag. But hey, at least I included the bees! And I managed to work Dakota into the episode, which has been sort of difficult for a few of them.

That's all for now, I hope you all await the next episode!

- Fangren

* * *

**Appendix: TSI Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (22nd Place)

Dakota - (21st Place)

Ezekiel - (20th Place)

Sugar - (19th Place)

Lightning - (18th Place)

Amy - (17th Place)

Scott - (16th Place)

Beth - (15th Place)

Sierra - (14th Place)


	11. Chapter 11 - Who Can You Trust?

**Authors' Note**

Hello again! Despite having come down with a cold this week and a minor delay in writing due to ongoing housework, Chapter 12 was surprisingly easy and enjoyable to write. I would have preferred to have gotten this chapter out several hours earlier, but happily I've still gotten it out at the early end of my 6-8 day schedule.

On to the reviews!

**Sleep Arypsure:** I think all of this was already covered in a PM convo, so I'll just give you my usual thanks for reviewing.

**XxRin-sanxX:** Hmm, well, I don't know about the 'love' part in their relationship in this series, but I could totally see it happening in another fic. And yeah, Courtney totally was abusive towards Duncan, especially in Action and World Tour. It was funny in Island when they were just hot for each other, but then time went on and Courtney became more and more demanding...well, I needn't say more. Character development is definitely what Courtney needs before she's in an actual long-term stable relationship.

**80jj:** I think I would probably use 'exceptionally' rather than 'emphatically' in that case. I personally think Jo has potential despite her abrasiveness, but how she ends up developing in this series will have to wait to be seen. As for your last question...limiting the couples in question to Gidgette, Gwent, Lyler, Duncney, Lesharold, Ozzy, Gwuncan, Aleheather, Zoke, Samkota, Scourtney, Dasky, and Jashawn...according to my current plans, exactly **six** of those couples (Samkota and Gidgette included) will at least meet at some point during this series, either in their initial seasons or in the mixed old/new casts of World Tour and All-Stars. I'll leave it at that.

**acosta perez jose ramiro:** Thanks as always!

**Bellyacher:** Well...I will say that, as far as Topher is concerned, his final line of last chapter was genuine. I have...a bit of a backstory planned for him and Sierra.

**Madison Wooten:** Thanks, and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**4428gamer:** Thanks! I don't think I've really run across many boring/tedious rewrites of that challenges (although to be fair I only read a few Total Drama fanfics). I think the key is probably to focus less on the cooking and more on the interactions it forces between the campers. As for the origins of Shawn's cake decorating skills...it could be that the writers did it as a tribute to Peeta, but I'm admittedly not too familiar with the Hunger Games series so I don't really know.

**Star Saber21:** Thanks! Also, good suggestion about the list of remaining campers, I'll make sure to do that from now on.

**Cole D. soul:** I apologize, but I want to keep my plans for shipping in future seasons as much of a secret as I can. Please understand.

As requested, here are the remaining contestants as of the beginning of the chapter:

Killer Bass - B, Bridgette, Geoff, Sam, Scarlett

Screaming Gophers - Alejandro, Beardo, Dawn, DJ, Jo, Sammy, Shawn, Topher

With all that said, I hope you enjoy the chapter!

- Fangren

* * *

**Episode 11 – Who Can You Trust?**

"Last time, on Total Drama Island!" The recap began with a shot of each team working in the kitchen. "Things _really_ got cooking between the campers! Scarlett and Jo both tried to throw their weight around despite not being the Head Chefs for the cook-off challenge," the scenes quickly transitioned into Scarlett narrowing her eyes at her partner and Jo arguing with her teammates, "Sam got _stung_ by some bees," clips of the gamer's incident while he retrieved additional ingredients was shown, "and Alejandro convinced Sierra to alter her team's meal behind their backs, giving the Gophers another victory." The pair's conversation in the food truck was shown, followed by Sierra adding pepper flakes to her team's dessert and Chris subsequently rejecting it.

"It was _finally_ time for Sierra to go," the host said over clips of Sierra's elimination, and his stalker giving an awkward hug as she left for the Dock of Shame. "Will the Bass _ever_ be able to come back from behind? And how much longer before the _Gophers_ start trying to kill each other?" The previous episode's footage finally ended, and Chris gleefully finished his introduction. "Find out, this week! On Total! Drama! Island!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

_Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

_You guys are on my mind!_

_Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

_And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

_I wanna be...famous!_

_I wanna live close to the sun!_

_Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

_Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

_I'll get there one day._

_'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

_(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

A close-up of an empty meal tray opened the episode, and Chef's arm was shown dropping a scoop of a pale orange something with the consistency of mashed potatoes onto it. "Today's breakfast," Chef announced as he stuck a straw into the pile, "is French-Italian fusion casserole!"

The camera pulled back to show Scarlett skeptically accepting the tray. "Made from the remnants of the previous challenge, of course," she said dryly.

"Yeah, that's right!" Chef shouted over a military drumline leitmotif. "You got a _problem_ with that?!"

Scarlett paused, peering at her breakfast and not meeting the cook's gaze. "It doesn't appear to have spoiled, so no." She walked away from the counter without looking at Chef, and the giant man could only sneer menacingly at her back.

She was shown sitting down with her four other teammates, and wordlessly began eating. "Man," Geoff said as he looked around the table at his team's low spirits, "you guys need to cheer up. It's like a _graveyard_ over here or somethin' right now."

"Unlike you," Scarlett told him, "the rest of us are unlikely to have a significant boost to morale until we begin to _win_, and more importantly win _consistently_. If we continue to fail, we risk losing our chance at the prize money."

"Hey, I know losin' so much is a _bummer_ an' all," Geoff replied, "but at least we're havin' _fun_, right?"

Scarlett just raised an eyebrow at him.

/

Over at the Gopher table, Jo was approaching with her breakfast. Just as she was about to sit down, a loud fart was heard and she blushed. The camera panned over to Beardo sitting nearby with his hands over his mouth; he began to whistle faux-nonchalantly while Alejandro and Topher laughed.

Jo clenched both teeth and fists, glaring at her former ally.

Further down the table, DJ gently placed Bunny on the table and began petting him. Dawn and Sammy soon joined in, and offered the rabbit bits of food.

Topher looked over at them and rolled his eyes. "I don't know why you _bother_ with that thing," he told them, "it's _timid_ and _weak_, not at all suitable for a _harsh_ competition like Total Drama."

"Hey!" DJ protested, clutching his pet close to his body. "There's nothin' _wrong_ with Bunny! He's just a cute little rabbit!"

"That's the problem!" Topher replied. "It's _just_ a rabbit! The only way _it_ could cause any drama is if it ran away or got _eaten_!"

The gentle giant gasped, as did his two companions. "How could you _say_ that?" DJ asked, beginning to tear up. He began to stroke the anxious Bunny, and whispered "It's okay little guy, you're gonna be safe with me, I _promise_."

The handsome boy scoffed. "Oh _please_, it's only a matter of time before something _happens_ to it," he began to smile blissfully, "and I just _know_ it'll make Chris laugh to watch it. It'll be _great_."

"I know you're only trying to follow in Chris' footsteps to get people to like and respect you," Dawn interrupted, "but it won't work. Chris McClean is a bitter, sadistic, and _lonely_ man who ends up driving away anybody who tries to get close to him."

Topher spluttered and flustered for a few seconds. "You take that back!"

/

A touching and emotional tune began as the scene changed to the forest, and Chris walked into view with a frown on his face. "Hi," he began sadly, "Chris here. Sometimes teams...just _don't_ get along! So the producers and I thought that the _best_ way to work through the group friction would be," his frown became a grin, "to exploit it for laughs!" He started to rub his hands together. "This is gonna be _awesome_!"

/

The two teams were shown lined up along the docks, team logos appearing in their respective corners. "So!" the host began. "Last week's challenge exposed a few _Gopher_ issues," Jo was shown glaring first at Alejandro, and then at Beardo, "_aaaand_ I'm sensing a little something _funky_ floating in the Bass pond too!" Scarlett crossed her arms and grimaced, glancing briefly at Geoff who didn't seem to notice.

"_So_," the host continued as each team was shown in their entirety, "this week's challenge is gonna be centered around _building trust_, because," Chris grinned, "all good things _begin_ with a little _trust_!"

xxx

"Pfft," Jo scoffed in the confessional, "trust is for the _weak_."

xxx

"There will be _three_ major challenges that _have_ to be completed by two or more members of your team," Chris explained as the jock-ette rolled her eyes. "_Normally_, we like to have the campers _choose_ their partners," he said with a hint of laughter, "but not _this_ time! More fun for me!"

/

The footage skipped ahead and the music became tense as the campers were shown assembled at the base of a cliff. "Okay!" the host began as the camera slowly panned upwards. "So for the first challenge, you'll be doing an extreme _freehand_ rock-climbing _adventure_! B and Sam will play for the Bass," Chris announced as the camera cut back to his close-up then switched to the Gophers, "Topher and Dawn for the Gophers."

"Oh my..." the mystic said in a hushed tone.

"Here's your belay and harness!" Chris said, throwing the equipment with a smile. Dawn reached to catch them, but Topher stepped in front of her to take them first.

"Sorry Dawn," he told the blonde in a condescending tone, "but I'm not about to entrust _this_ beautiful face to _your_ little arms."

"You won't be holding her up _exactly_," Chris interjected. "One camper _pulls_ the slack through the belay as their partner climbs," he explained while Topher and Dawn glared at each other. "If their partner _falls_ the belay will stop them from crashing." He demonstrated by pulling the rope through the belay and throwing the slack to B, who was shown looking at it closely.

"The catch?" Chris continued. "Both the _side_ and the _base_ of of the mountain are rigged with a few _minor_ distractions _like_," each obstacle was shown in turn, "rusty nails, slippery oil slicks, mild explosives," several clusters of dynamite were already primed and ticking along one stretch of rock, "_aaaand_ a few other surprises."

"Sounds pretty cool," Sam said excitedly.

"The person on belay must _also_ harness their partner up," the host said as B shot a smirk and thumbs up to his partner while Topher and Dawn continued to glare at each other. "It's _all_ about _trust_ people, and, remember, _nev-er_ let _go_ of the _rope_! Your partner's life _depends_ on it!"

"Umm, I don't suppose you'd consider a swap?" Dawn asked the host hopefully.

"Oh please," Topher shot, "like _I'm_ gonna kill you!" For a moment, Dawn looked slightly relieved. "Of course, I can't guarantee what'll happen if you hit one of Chris' _devious_ traps! Now let's get you harnessed up!" The young woman pursed her lips and raised her arms.

"Huh, I can't think of a game I've played that's like this," Sam commented as B began to secure him. "Then again, climbing mechanics are usually pretty simple in video games anyway. Guess this'll be a new experience for me!" He took another look at the cliff and frowned. "Probably a _painful_ one. Got any tips?"

B scratched his chin, then shrugged. He worked on the harness a little more, then gave his partner a pat on the back.

The camera cut back to the Gophers. "Okay, that should be good!" Topher said as he stood up. "As safe and secure as I can make it!"

Dawn looked down and the camera focused on the oddly convoluted system of loops running through and around her harness. "That really isn't very comforting..."

xxx

Topher looked slightly uninterested to be in the confessional. "With Sierra gone, I'm in need of a new _foil_, someone I can play off of in order to cause drama. First I was thinking _DJ_, but after she insulted Chris I think _Dawn_ might work too." He rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "Of course, I'll see what I can get out of both of them for now, and oh do I have some _plans_!"

xxx

The music picked up as the footage cut back to a close-up of a patch of nails just as a slender hand grabbed on to a ledge between them. The viewpoint shifted to show Sam and Dawn slowly making their way up the cliff, the gamer in a slight lead.

"No, not there, too much negative energy," Dawn muttered as she carefully planned her next move and Sam's lead widened.

"Come on, Dawn," Topher called up in annoyance, "we don't have all day!" The two competitors were shown again as Sam pulled himself up. To his right, an explosion detonated just above Dawn, causing both teens to flinch. Moments later another explosion occurred in front of Sam, sending the large boy flying backwards. Dawn couldn't help but watch as the gamer screamed and fell.

The camera cut to B, who immediately pulled the rope and stopped his partner's fall. "Thanks man!" Sam called out, getting a thumbs up in response.

"I promised _surprises_!" Chris said, leaning into the shot and showing the camera large water gun. "Habañero pepper sauce, anyone?"

The nozzle of the gun was lowered, and a stream of red sauce was fired from it. "Gah! Not the _hair_!" Topher cried, having been the first to be hit. "Or the _face_!" he added, letting go of his rope and attempting to rub the spicy fluid out of his eyes. Dawn felt the slack in the rope and looked down worriedly.

"Muy caliente!" Chris said with a flashing smile. Another stream was shown heading for B, but the silent young man merely raised his large coat to shield himself from the sauce. He didn't once take his eyes off of Sam.

The camera quickly panned back to Chris, who put his hand on his sauce gun and frowned at the camera. "Don't we have anything _else_?" he asked in a whisper.

Continuing with the challenge, Sam was quickly catching up to his slow moving opponent. "Heh heh, this is _much_ easier now that I know where all the obstacles are!" the gamer chuckled. "Nails, nails, grease, nails, _explosion_," he listed off in sequence, getting around each in turn. "Sorry Dawn, but the combo train is leaving the station! Woo woo!" He cheered, and sped up.

Dawn groaned and looked hesitantly at the wall above her. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and sped up as well. For several moments the two were making good progress on their climb, but the camera cut briefly to a grinning host before showing Dawn put a hand down by a hidden cache of dynamite. It exploded, and Dawn fell.

"Topher, the rope!" She called out to her partner below her. The handsome boy, however, was paying more attention to the sauce in his hair than to his teammate. Without anyone holding on to the free end of the rope it slipped through Topher's harness, and Dawn hit the ground with a thud. As the camera looked down at her, she groaned and passed out.

Sam made it to the top of the cliff without further issues. "Looks like the Bass have won the first challenge!" Chris announced as the gamer smiled and caught his breath.

"Oh yeah!" he cheered, raising his arms. "New high score! Literally, huh huh."

/

A pair of lights came on in the Mess Hall, illuminating a podium standing between the two tables. A third spotlight came on in the center, and the opposing pairs rose into either side as if they were being raised mechanically: first Beardo and Jo for the Gophers, then Geoff and Bridgette for the Bass. The camera panned up from the blonde duo, catching an unnamed white male somersaulting through the air and landing behind the podium. Seconds after the landing Chris popped up from behind it, dusting off his shirt as though he had done the stunt himself. He crossed his arms and grinned cockily at the camera.

"And now round two!" he announced as the camera pulled back to show both pairs watching him. "The _Extreme_! _Cooking_! _Chal-lenge_!" As Chris mugged for the camera, the unnamed man crawled out in the background, heading into the kitchen as the four teens watched.

"Each team must choose who _cooks_, and who _eats_," the host explained with a grin.

"I was Head Chef last time," Geoff offered, "you better cook." Bridgette nodded.

"_I'll_ be cooking," Jo said, "I'm not gonna risk you messing this up."

Beardo raised an eyebrow.

xxx

"Yeah, there's no _way_ this is gonna end well for me," the hairy boy confessed. "I doubt Chris is gonna give us somethin' _easy_." He sighed and imitated the classic tune of Chopin's 'Funeral March'.

xxx

"Today you'll be preparing fugu sashimi," Chris announced, "the traditional Japanese poisonous blowfish." Chef wheeled a cart into the scene, on top of which sat a tank with two trembling and wide-eyed blowfish inside.

A gong sounded, rattling Beardo and Jo before a short Japanese tune played in the background. A rough diagram of where to cut the fish was projected onto the wall next to the host, who picked up a pointer to assist in his explanation. "The fugu blowfish contains enough lethal toxin to kill thirty people," Chris said. Chef tapped the side of the tank with a fish scoop, causing the two blowfish to puff up.

"Fishies?" the hulking man said, picking up the fish by their tails, "meet your _maker_!" He tossed them onto the cutting boards on the tables in front of Jo and Bridgette, who looked at them warily.

"They must be sliced _veeerrry_ carefully," Chris told them, "to cut around the poisonous _organs_." Jo poked the fish with a knife, and Bridgette looked anxious. "The poison paralyzes the nerves, _and_," Chris grinned darkly in a close-up, "there is no _antidote_!" His tone became lighter as he finished, "So no worries!"

Beardo gulped, and Jo snorted. "Oh _please_," she said, "it's just a fish! How hard can it _be_?" She confidently jabbed the fish with her knife, causing it to rapidly deflate and fly around the room. Beardo and Jo followed it with their eyes as it shot into the kitchen and, as evidenced by the sounds, crashed into some pots and pans.

/

A stack of sashimi rolls on a plate was shown, and Bridgette placed a sprig of parsley on top. "Finished!" she said after she let out a breath and wiped her brow.

"Took you long enough!" Jo said from across the room, holding up a pile of pink mush. "I've been done for five minutes!"

Bridgette smiled and pushed the plate over to Geoff, who picked up a piece hesitantly. Chris and Chef were shown watching with anticipation as the party lover slowly put the piece of fish into his mouth, chewed it, and swallowed. He looked around, and grinned. "Excellence!" he said, giving his partner two thumbs up.

Chris and Chef looked over at the other team as Jo shoved her plate into Beardo's arms. "Eat up!" she said in a commanding tone.

The camera focused on the vague lump of fish on the plate, looking the complete opposite of the Bass' sashimi. Beardo stabbed a piece with is fork and held it up to his face. He took a whiff and stuck his tongue out in disgust. The shot switched repeatedly from Beardo's nervous visage, to the piece of fish, to Jo's scowl, and back again. Eventually, the hairy boy's face fell and he put his fork down. "I'm sorry. I just can't do it," he said.

Jo looked at him with disgust. "Oh come on," she told him, "it might _look_ crappy but it's not gonna _poison_ you! Here, let me prove it!" Before anyone could stop her she had picked up the fork and shoved the fish into her mouth. She quickly swallowed it, and for a moment she looked to be fine.

Then her stomach gurgled, she wretched, clutched her stomach and fell over. "I blame," she gurgled out, skin turning bluish "the diagram!"

She was shown lying on the floor twitching, vomit flowing out of her mouth. Beardo recoiled, and gave her a reluctant look of pity.

"It's cool," Chris told the teens as Geoff and Bridgette rushed over to see, "give her twenty-four hours and she'll be up walking and breathing good as new."

"Uh, is anybody gonna _help_ her?" Geoff asked in bewilderment. Jo was shown in the midst of another spasm, the Chef – dressed in a nurse's uniform – leaned in to give her mouth-to-mouth. She gurgled in horrified disgust as the scene faded to black.

/

The sun was shown high in the sky before the camera panned down and out. Bridgette and Geoff were running across the docks together, smiles on their faces.

"Last one in's a rotten blowfish!" Geoff said, taking the lead and flinging himself into the lake. Bridgette followed shortly, and the two surfaced near each other a few feet away.

"You were _so_ brave to eat that blowfish," Bridgette said as touching music played in the background.

"No biggie!" Geoff told her. "I knew I could trust you. You're cool."

"Oh yeah?" the surfer smiled playfully. "Know what else is cool? _This_!" she splashed him with water and swam off, laughing. Geoff laughed and gave chase.

/

Jo was shown lying on a bed next to some medical equipment, still clearly afflicted by the blowfish she'd eaten. A small puddle of vomit had already formed under her head, and she was making alarmed gurgling noises. Chef, in his nurse's uniform, smirked as he looked between her and a large needle filled with a purple liquid. "This won't hurt a bit," he told her with a tap of the needle, "it'll hurt a whole lot."

As Jo pitifully attempted to scream, the camera panned over to Dawn lying unconscious on another bed. Beside her stood Sammy and DJ, the latter holding his pet in his hands.

"I hope she's okay," the cheerleader said quietly. "I don't want her to get voted out because of this."

"I know how you feel," the gentle giant said. "I don't want her to go either. Here, Bunny," he set the rabbit down next to his petite friend, "you watch Dawn for us while we're gone, okay? When she wakes up she'll need somebody to keep her company." Bunny sniffled, and hopped closer to the girl. DJ and Sammy smiled, then walked away.

The camera lingered and the music turned dark as Topher poked his head into the infirmary tent. He checked and saw that Chef was still preoccupied with Jo, and grinned. He ducked off-screen momentarily, before a pair of hands rose up behind Dawn's bed and snatched Bunny away.

/

"Good news!" Chris announced as the camera panned down from the treetops to show the remaining members of both teams lined up before the host. "The _third_ round involves three more challenges! It's the Three Blind Challenges!" The handsome man held up three fingers, and the camera passed over the campers as they reacted to the names of their next tasks. "It begins with the Blind William Tell, followed by the Blind Trapeze, and culminating in the _treacherous_ Blind Toboggan."

He gave Beardo a pair of shades similar to what was used during the paintball challenge, then placed an arrow on top of the boy's mane. "Like legendary marksman William Tell," Chris explained as he went to stand by a barrel of apples some distance away, "you'll be knocking arrows off your partner's head with crabapples."

"Actually," Scarlett corrected, "Tell shot an apple off his son's head with a _crossbow_, thus-"

"Shush!" Chris interrupted. "Also," he showed them a white cloth, "the shooter will be blindfolded!" Beardo made an alarmed sound and his teammates edged away from him.

"The person who knocks off the arrow while causing the least amount of facial damage," the blindfolded host explained, readying a slingshot, "wins." Chris let lose the apple, which hit Beardo below the belt. He fell to his knees and made a high-pitched buzzing noise, putting his hand on the damaged area.

"Ahh, nuts!" Chris said, peeking out from beneath his blindfold. "Sammy and DJ, you'll be one team," he said as the two Gophers smiled at each other, "Scarlett and B, you'll be the other."

The two geniuses looked at each other. "I suppose I'll throw, my motor skills and visualization abilities should allow me to mitigate the lack of visual input," Scarlett said.

"Okay!" Chris said, pumping his fist. "Let's rock and roll!"

The scene cut to B with safety glasses and arrow on his head, panning over to show Sammy in a similar situation. Across the clearing stood DJ and Scarlett, already blindfolded, while Chris and the other campers stood to the side – Beardo still holding his groin. Both shooters shot their first apples; DJ's came up short and hit the ground before reaching its target, while Scarlett's bounced off her teammate's chest.

"Little higher, DJ!" Sammy called, and the shooters prepared their second volley.

"I'm sorry, I just don't want you to get hurt!" the gentle giant told his friend as he made his second shot, Scarlett following shortly after. DJ's shot went high this time, while B was struck in the shoulder.

An apple was shown whistling through the air after being shot by DJ, and it was soon joined by Scarlett's third. "You...!" Sammy began to say, wincing as the fruit hit her in the arm. "You can do it! Don't worry about me, I'll be fine!"

DJ whimpered but continued to fire, as did Scarlett who was beginning to grit her teeth. Several more apples were shown hitting or missing the two targets in quick succession and B was looking annoyed at all the hits he'd had to suffer.

Eventually, DJ steeled himself and let one more apple fly. The camera followed it in slow-motion as it soared through the air and impaled itself straight onto the arrow. As it fell off the Gophers cheered, and Scarlett growled in frustration.

"Oh man, are you alright?" DJ said, removing his blindfold and rushing over to his teammate. "I didn't hurt you with any of those, did I?"

"Oh, I'm fine," the blonde said with a slight blush, rubbing where her arm had been hit. "I've been hurt worse, this is nothing. Besides, you did it! You won this part of the challenge!"

DJ smiled. "Yeah, you're right! I did!" The two high-fived, and rejoined their cheering teammates.

/

The next part of the challenge had the host and campers assembled behind a tall wooden structure suspended over a pool of water. Going up the two front posts were rungs that could be used to climb to a small platform, and hanging over the gap in the middle were two trapeze.

"And now," Chris announced, "the Blind Trapeze! To avoid serious injury, the trapeze has been set up over this pond," he motioned to the pool, "which is full of jellyfish!" A school of pinkish-purple jellyfish crackling with electricity was shown, and the Killer Bass gasped.

"You two," Chris said as he tossed blindfolds to Sam and Shawn, "will stand blindfolded on the platform until your partners tell you when to jump." The two boys looked warily at their assigned partners Geoff and Alejandro.

"And then we trust them to catch us, right?" Shawn asked nervously.

"Yup!" Chris told him. "Otherwise, that's gonna be one heck of a _painful_ swim. Okay, hut hut!"

The scene skipped ahead to show the two blindfolded young men at their stations, Geoff hanging from his knees from the Bass' trapeze, and Alejandro next to his teammate on the Gopher's platform.

"Okay, dude!" Geoff called as he swung back and forth. "Get ready to jump...," he swung forward, and Sam cautiously inched towards the edge of the platform, "now! No wait, not now! _Not now_!"

It was too late. Geoff had waited too long to make the call, and missed catching Sam by a yard. The gamer plunged into the pond, sending up a wave of water and jellyfish. His screams and the sound of stinging filled the air as his team looked on in concern.

"Okay Gophers, your turn!" Chris continued with a smile.

Shawn was shown standing alone on the platform, and Alejandro was swinging calmly. "Okay amigo," he said, "I want you to jump when I say '_three_', do you understand? I was once part of Cirque du Monet's all-child show 'Infantile', I have done this many times before!"

"If you say so!" Shawn replied uncertainly.

"One..." Alejandro called out slowly. "Two..._three_!" Shawn gulped but took the leap, and his multi-talented partner caught him easily. As the two swung over the pond, the Gophers cheered.

"Looks like that's another point for the Screaming Gophers!" Chris announced.

xxx

"I _knew_ he'd be able to tie it up," Topher confessed smugly, "you can _always_ count on hot guys like me and Al to look good on TV. Now I just gotta do _my_ part!"

xxx

The footage cut back to the infirmary. A gruff "Oww!" followed by the sound of an electric shock was heard as Sam entered the tent, a jellyfish still clinging to him. "This sure got painful pretty fast. Oww!" He took a seat on one of the beds, and noticed somebody off-camera.

"Oh, hey Dakota!" Sam greeted as the camera panned over to show the heiress spoon-feeding Jo on the other side of the room. "You got anything for removing jellyfish?"

Dakota waved, then put a finger to her lip. "Umm, I think _Chef_ probably has something, he should be back soon."

"Great!" Sam chuckled, getting shocked again. "Oww! Hey, what's with her?" He pointed to another bed, where Dawn sat, meditating in the lotus position.

"I have _no_ idea," Dakota said. "She was like that when I got here."

"Just making sure my natural energies are flowing correctly," the small blonde explained, moving only her lips. "I should probably return to my team – if that's allowed, of course."

Dakota blinked, then shrugged. "Like, I guess so? Chef didn't really _say_..."

"Then I shall take my leave of this place," Dawn stated as she uncrossed her legs and slid off the table.

Dakota shrugged again, and reluctantly turned her attention back to Jo. "_Eww_..." the intern whined as a bit of drool came out of the paralyzed girl's mouth.

/

A pair of toboggans leaning against a tree had caught the eyes of the remaining campers as Chris began to explain the final challenge. "And now, the final leg!" he said grandly. "The Blind Toboggan Race!"

"Ooh, I've been looking forward to this!" Topher said, rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

"Each team will have a _driver_, and a _navigator_," the host explained, and the camera panned over the ten teens. "The driver steers, while the navigator shouts directions. Oh yeah! And the driver will be blindfolded!" Bridgette, B, and Geoff gasped.

"Looks like we're down a few," Chris noted as he looked over the campers. "We keep _losing_ you guys!" He laughed, then scratched his chin. "Oh well. Ah...Topher and DJ, Scarlett and Bridgette." The two pairs looked at each other, but DJ's eye was soon caught by someone else.

"Dawn!" he called as his friend rejoined her team.

"You're awake!" Sammy added, giving her friend a hug.

""Oh yes," Dawn smiled, "and I decided it would be best to watch the end of the challenge."

"Cool," the gentle giant nodded, "did you bring Bunny? I don't see him."

The mystic's brow furrowed. "Why would _I_ have Bunny?"

"Wasn't he in the infirmary when you woke up?" DJ asked in growing concern.

Sammy gasped. "Oh no! Did he run away?"

"I'm so sorry!" Dawn said sadly. "I hope he returns!"

DJ wiped away the tears that had started to form, and placed a hand on Dawn's shoulder. "It's okay, it's not your fault." He sighed, and stepped over to a mischievously grinning Topher.

"Bunny...we were such good friends." DJ dropped to his knees and raised his hands to the sky as the music became touching. "Please don't do me like this!"

/

The non-competitors were briefly shown standing behind the finish line as the camera panned over to the highest cliff in the area. "This is it, DJ!" Topher said, looking down over the course. "The final challenge of the day, the all-important tie-breaker that will determine who wins! It's all up to us, and here _you_ are without your beloved pet! Tell me, how _are_ you feeling?"

DJ sighed and slouched. "Pretty sad, dude. I just wish I knew why Bunny deserted me..."

"Hey, you never know, he might come back!" Topher said, putting a hand on his teammate's shoulder. "If we can make it through this death-defying race, you'll have _plenty_ of time to go look for him!"

He looked over at Chef, who was brushing something oily onto the bottoms of the toboggans. "Just lubin' them up," he said with a devilish smirk. "Get a little more _speed_ goin'." Topher raised an eyebrow, but DJ took no notice in his despair.

/

The footage cut to Chris and Chef standing over the Gopher duo on their toboggan, DJ having donned the blindfold. "On your marks!" Chris said as he walked over to the Bass, showing Bridgette blind in front with Scarlett behind her. "Get set!" He put his foot on the edge of the girls' toboggan, and took out an airhorn. The shot zoomed out to reveal Chef with his foot on the boys' toboggan, and as the host blew the horn the two men gave the teens a push.

The music became fast-paced and hectic as Bridgette and Scarlett sped down the hillside. "Left! Right!" Scarlett called, leaning down and forward. As Bridgette moved the toboggan according to the directions, her partner pressed down on her back, forcing the blind driver to keep herself low. The two passed behind a large tree, allowing the footage to transition to the other team.

"Right!" Topher called, and DJ sluggishly leaned away from the camera. "Watch out for the tree!" DJ leaned the other way, and the perspective changed to a top-down view, showing Topher glance back at the tree they'd just dodged before the camera panned forward to show Bridgette and Scarlett hitting a sloped rock.

"Are we _flying_?!" Bridgette cried as the two ramped into the air.

"An intentional shortcut, I assure you!" Scarlett called back. "Now brace for impact!" A splash was heard, and the Bass girls were shown to have landed on the river. They quickly went over a waterfall, hitting a log lodged between two rocks and springing back into the air.

The boys were shown again, DJ still steering the toboggan in a lackluster manner. "Okay, DJ," Topher said, "this isn't working. We keep this up, and we're gonna lose!" DJ gave no reply, prompting Topher to frown and reach behind his back. "I was saving this for later, but I know when to play my cards. DJ, look what I've got!" The background music struck a triumphant note as the handsome white boy pulled a rather scared-looking Bunny out from who-knows-where. He pressed the rabbit against DJ's cheek, and the gentle giant frowned.

"Don't tease me man," DJ told his partner while reaching for his blindfold, "why would Bunny be with..._Bunny_!" He peeked out from beneath the piece of cloth over his eyes, and his entire face lit up.

"Okay then, let's _go_!" Topher cheered before DJ could say anything else.

"Yeah!" DJ smiled, sliding his blindfold down and getting serious.

"Right! Left!" Topher directed, still holding Bunny in one hand. As they raced down the hill, the perspective changed again to show Bridgette and Scarlett landing a ways ahead of them.

"Left!" Scarlett said as trees sped past behind her. "And again!"

"Right!" Topher said in alarm. "_Right_!" Suddenly, an explosion went off just to the left of their path, and Topher looked back in shock.

"What the _heck_ was that?!" DJ asked in a panic.

"Heh heh, n-nice surprise, Chris!" Topher mumbled nervously.

The scene cut to Chris, holding a blasting machine, smiling as he depressed the plunger. "We had a few explosives left over," he explained to the camera as another explosion was heard in the distance, "and I just hate to waste." He detonated another explosion, this one going off near Bridgette and Scarlett. The two teams were shown barely dodging the blasts, until another one hit close to the boys and sent Bunny flying off of Topher's hand and into the trees.

"Rabbit down!" the young man said frantically. "I repeat, _rabbit down_!"

"_What_?!" DJ cried. "_BUNNY_!" He began to sob, and the Gopher's toboggan quickly spiraled out of control. One of the explosives finally hit them directly, sending both them and their toboggan flying apart.

Scarlett smirked as she looked back at her opponents, then resumed facing forward. "Right! Left!" she called, and the scene cut to the finish line.

Geoff was cheering loudly, while the Gophers looked mostly stunned. Dawn and Sammy were at the front showing visible concern. The racing music reached it's triumphant conclusion as Bridgette and Scarlett slid into the tape stretched across the finish line, breaking it and winning the challenge.

DJ and Topher trudged in shortly after. The gentle giant had already removed his blindfold and was dragging the toboggan behind him, looking inconsolable. He didn't even spare Dawn or Sammy a glance as he walked over to his team and slumped onto the ground.

xxx

"Bunny..." DJ sobbed into his hands in the confessional. "_Whyyyyy_?" He sniffled, and looked up into the camera. "This...this is all _Topher's_ fault, man. _He_ brought Bunny to the race." He broke out wailing again. "And now he's _gone_!"

xxx

As the camera panned over the campers, Jo and Sam were revealed to have rejoined their teams. Sam had a few adhesive bandages on his face but looked fine otherwise, while Jo was confined to wheelchair and still gurgled every now and then.

"And the Bass are the winners of the toboggan race!" Chris announced, to the five teens' delight. "Gophers! You're headed to your fourth elimination tonight." He walked away, and after Bridgette and Scarleet had been lifted onto their teammates' shoulders the Bass did as well.

"Aww, man!" Shawn lamented, giving Topher an annoyed look. "First you let Dawn fall, and now _this_? Why did you even _have_ that rabbit in the _first_ place?"

Topher rolled his eyes. "Well _excuse me_ for wanting to make things more interesting! How was _I_ supposed to know the stupid thing would get blown up?" DJ wailed at the mention of his pet's potential fate.

"For treating one of nature's children to such unjustified cruelty," Dawn told him as she passed with Sammy doing her best to comfort DJ, "doom is _certain_ to befall you."

"Come on, you don't really _mean_ that, right?" Topher asked the backs of his teammates. "_Right_?"

/

The logo of the Screaming Gophers appeared in the top right corner of the screen as the elimination began, the camera panning from the eight members of the team to the smiling host and his plate of marshmallows. "Who wants a treat?" he opened. "A tasty goody that represents exemption, security, peace of mind-"

He was interrupted by a soft groan from Alejandro. "Must you do this every time?"

Chris immediately popped up behind DJ and sped up his speech. "And if you don't get a marshmallow you have to walk the Dock of Shame and you can never come back!" He ducked behind the teary giant and showed back up close to Alejandro's face. "_Ever_!" Alejandro glared as Chris retreated.

"Let's see...one for Beardo, one for Sammy, one for Dawn!" He tossed three of the marshmallows across the fire, and the two girls happily caught them in their mouths. "Alejandro, Shawn, and DJ! Well _done_, my brothers!" The charmer and the survivalist also caught their prizes in their mouths.

"Looks like we only have one left," Chris said as the view moved to the remaining campers. "Jo and Topher," the boy looked nervous while the girl could barely manage a glare, "the final marshmallow..." As the smug-faced host paused, Topher met Alejandro's eyes, but Alejandro quickly looked away.

xxx

"Topher has been a reliable vote all game," Alejandro confessed, "but while Dawn _does_ owe me a favor, I do not think she or her allies would agree to eliminate anybody else right now."

xxx

Topher looked back at Chris and gulped, while Jo continued to glare angrily. "Uhh, are you gonna do this or what?" Shawn asked.

"Don't _rush_ me!" Chris protested. "The audience eats up this kind of dramatic conclusion!" Shawn just rolled his eyes.

"...Jo." the host said after another pause. The marshmallow he shot bounced off the paralyzed young woman's forehead, and she grunted.

The handsome boy let out his breath, then stood up. "Well," he said sharply, "looks like _some_ people don't appreciate everything I bring to the table. Guess this show just lost its best-looking contestant." Alejandro's grimace at the remark went unnoticed. Topher walked up to his idol and extended a hand. "It was an absolute _honor_ to meet, and work, alongside you, Chris. Keep givin' 'em everything you've got, man!"

"Oh, I will Topher," Chris said happily, accepting the handshake, "I _will_." As the young man walked off, Chris turned his attention back to the remaining Gophers. "The rest of you are safe," he told them. "For _now_."

/

Topher was shown walking sadly down the Dock of Shame. He noticed the camera, and winked at it. His parting words were spoken in a style similar to the host's own. "What does Chris have in store for the remaining contestants? Find out next time, on Total! Drama! Island!"

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

**Author's Note - Post Script**

Well, there's Topher down. I think I at least handled his elimination better than what happened in the canon episode, in which Sadie was finally given the boot after having done essentially nothing since Katie was eliminated. Topher, on the other hand, has at least had some form of relevance to the plot, even if it was partially limited to his feud with Sierra. At any rate, we'll be seeing both him and his foil again in the future.

I did actually consider having Alejandro call in his favor from Dawn, but as I still intended on having DJ and Sammy vote for Topher anyway, I decided to save it for another time.

Regarding Bunny...well, he wasn't eaten. He might have died, or perhaps he'll turn up in a future episode, who knows?

Only three chapters left before the merge, so until next time!

- Fangren

* * *

**Appendix: TSI Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (22nd Place)

Dakota - (21st Place)

Ezekiel - (20th Place)

Sugar - (19th Place)

Lightning - (18th Place)

Amy - (17th Place)

Scott - (16th Place)

Beth - (15th Place)

Sierra - (14th Place)

Topher - (13th Place)


	12. Chapter 12 - Basic Straining

**Author's Note**

Hey, I'm no longer sick! Also, Chapter 13 turned out to be not as bad as I was expecting, meaning I have officially finished writing the first half of Season One. Not much else to say, so I'll go right on to the reviews!

**Sleep Arypsure:** Thanks! I can't wait to write the merge, thankfully I'll be starting it next week-ish.

**80jj:** Hmmm...well, to be honest I haven't completely planned out all the fanon couples for the later seasons. Right now, though, I'll estimate at around 7 total, including the ones in this season.

**Knifez:** Despite already having a lot to answer for you, I'm kinda disappointed that you've only reviewed the first five chapters. Hopefully you haven't lost interest in the story. As for the issues you've pointed out...well, I honestly haven't really considered that people might not like how much I use italics, but I have started watching myself in that respect more. I'm probably not going to go back and edit the earlier chapters any time soon, though, so I guess you'll have to bare with them if you're still reading.

The degree to which I keep things the same as canon is also something I'm really trying to work on, and fortunately the relative lack of canon characters helps with that. At the very least, while dialogue for Chris and Chef is still going to be largely the same as it was in canon even if not exactly so, I've been trying to move away from having similar lines to canon in any given scene without good reason. Other than that, I'm glad you like my characterization and subplots!

**Bellyacher:** Oh yes, I'm always amazed by how far I've come yet how far is left to go. So many fun things left to write!

**acosta perez jose ramiro:** Perhaps, my friend, perhaps. Thanks as always!

**Madison Wooten:** Hah, I'm glad you liked that! I wasn't sure if I should do it at first since I knew I'd have to address it at the elimination ceremony, but I'm glad it worked out.

**Star Saber21:** Thanks! I mean, it's basically just the same joke that was used in the first episode of Pahkitew Island, but I've kinda been wanting to use it at some point in the series. And Topher, like so many contestants, isn't quite as good as he thinks he is.

**Lowland Warrior:** There's...well, a lot to that question, to be honest. Mostly, it's because I have all the time that comes with being unemployed and out of school - I could actually get chapters out more quickly, but that would either force me to forsake my other fic, Total Drama Rebirth, or to burn-out on writing. There's also the fact that my keeping so close to canon basically gives me a free template to use for my chapters, since I don't need to think up challenges and such. It also really, really, helps to plan things ahead; I've had the entire eliminations for this season worked out for some time now. I hope that's a satisfactory answer!

**bruno14:** Oh yes, I'm continuing each week until, at the very least, this fic is complete. I have certainly figured out who will be competing in my version of Total Drama Action, and even who will be on each team (though I haven't worked out the full order of elimination yet). The same is true for World Tour and All-Stars as well.

As requested, here are the remaining contestants as of the beginning of the chapter:

Killer Bass - B, Bridgette, Geoff, Sam, Scarlett

Screaming Gophers - Alejandro, Beardo, Dawn, DJ, Jo, Sammy, Shawn

Well then, sit back and enjoy!

- Fangren

* * *

**Episode 12 – Basic Straining**

"Last time, on Total Drama Island!" The recap began with a clip of the two teams on the docks, with a focus on Jo and Scarlett as they looked at their teammates with disdain. "The teams were given three challenges that tested their trust in their teammates. The rock-climbing challenge showed _just_ how much Topher cared about Dawn's safety," the cliff was shown, as was Dawn falling off while Topher fussed over his appearance, "and Jo got the bad end of a blowfish courtesy of her own crappy cooking." Beardo's refusal to eat was followed by Jo taking a piece of fish, then keeling over.

"DJ left his pet Bunny in the infirmary," the relevant scene was shown, including Topher sneaking in after, "which ended up being a _huge_ mistake when Topher decided to use him to stir up some drama." The reveal of Bunny during the final challenge was followed by Bunny flying into the woods, and DJ and Topher hitting an explosion and losing the race. "The Gophers got their fourth loss, and sadly, it was Topher who was sent packing. Bummer. Kinda liked the kid." Topher's elimination and his final goodbye to Chris finished the recap. "Stay tuned," the host said from the docks, "for the most dramatic bonfire ceremony _yet_, on Total! Drama! Island!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

_Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

_You guys are on my mind!_

_Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

_And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

_I wanna be...famous!_

_I wanna live close to the sun!_

_Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

_Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

_I'll get there one day._

_'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

_(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

The scene faded in to the outside of the Bass cabin, as Geoff lounged on the front steps and B worked on the hot tub they'd won in the very first challenge of the series. The door to the cabin opened and Sam wobbled out, groaning and eventually falling to the floor.

"Chris take away another one of your video games, dude?" Geoff asked out of concern.

"Yeah," the gamer answered, "and it was my last one, too." He crawled forward, and managed to turn himself around to sit on the steps next to his roommate. "I thought I was doing so _well_ by pacing myself on my games," he explained, "it really helped me build up a tolerance to the _withdrawal_, y'know? But I don't know how long I can last without anything to fall back on..."

"Come on, it ain't that bad!" Geoff said, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder. "You're a pretty tough dude for someone who doesn't play a lot of sports, so I'm _sure_ you'll get through this. Just gotta keep goin'."

Sam sighed. "I hope you're right, man. I don't wanna go home yet, I think I'm finally making some progress with Dakota!"

"Yeah, I noticed!" Geoff smiled. "I think she's _totally_ digging you, right B?" B looked up from the tub and shot his usual smirk and thumbs up at Sam.

The beginning of a military drumline heralded the voice of Chef Hatchet coming over the camp loudspeaker. "Listen up, you little _cockroaches_!" he yelled, gaining the attention of the Bass boys. "I want _all_ campers to report to the Dock of Shame at 0900 hours!" A zoomed-out shot showed Shawn, Beardo, Dawn, and Sammy loitering nearby, and the campers looked at each other in mild confusion. "That means _now_, soldiers, _NOW_!" The campers immediately started to run.

/

The footage skipped ahead to when the twelve campers had finally assembled on the docks. From left to right stood Shawn, Jo, Sammy, Dawn, DJ, Geoff, Sam, B, Scarlett, Bridgette, Beardo, and Alejandro, with Chef at the very end dressed like a drill instructor.

"Line up and stand at attention!" Chef said into a megaphone, pulling out a pointing stick and walking down the line of campers. "You call this proper formation? Feet together!" He smacked Geoff's shins, causing the boy to yelp. "Arms down!" He hit Scarlett's crossed arms, causing them to drop. "Eyes forward!" DJ immediately turned his head forward. "Head up!" Alejandro's chin was forced up, and Chef finished by smacking Sam several times to forcibly correct the gamer's posture.

"Well _this_ is gonna be good..." Shawn muttered to Jo.

"What did you say to me, soldier?!" Chef yelled through his megaphone at her.

"Uh, nothing?" Shawn answered quickly.

"And you will _continue_ to say nothin', until I _tell_ you that you _can_ say somethin!" Chef told him.

"Today's challenge will not be an easy one," the hulking man explained as he began to pace back and forth along the dock. "In fact, I do not expect everyone to come out alive." Beardo made a dramatic noise, and received a hit in the back of the neck for it. He whimpered like a dog as he rubbed where he'd been hit, and Chef continued. "My orders are to make sure that _all_ of the babies in front of me drop _out_ of my boot camp except one. The last one standin' wins immunity for their team."

"I wonder what happened to Chris?" Sammy murmured to Dawn.

"Rule number one!" Chef barked, eyes wide beneath his sunglasses. "You will address me, as Master Chief! Have you got that?"

"Yes Master Chief!" The campers replied in unison.

"You will _sleep_ when I _tell_ you to sleep," Chef continued, "and you will _eat_ only when I _tell_ you to eat!" As Chef shouted at Geoff, the shot briefly shifted to a close view of the end of the megaphone. "Is that clear?" The megaphone was taken away, and Geoff's scared face could be seen reflected in Chef's sunglasses.

"Yes Master Chief!" the party-lover said.

"Rule number two!" Chef held up two fingers as he went on. "When you are ready to give up, you will walk to the end of the dock, and ring the bell!" He pointed across B and Scarlett towards a brass bell hanging from a wooden post. "Which brings me to rule number three! I'd like to get one quitter before the end of the first day, and that day will not _end_ until _someone_ drops _out_!" He reached the other end of the dock and turned around. "And get your _butts_ down to the _beach_, soldiers, now, now, _now_!" At his command, the campers ran quickly up the dock, many of them screaming.

xxx

"You know," Jo confessed, "I'm actually impressed that he's the one in charge of this challenge. As twisted as McClean _tries_ to be, he doesn't hold a _candle_ to Chef! Finally, it's time for me to _dominate_." She punched her hand cockily and the camera went to static.

xxx

The episode cut back to the teens standing on the beach in front of Chef, a pair of colored canoes, and a single deck chair. "Listen up!" Chef barked. "Each team must hold a _canoe_ over their heads. I catch you takin' your hands _off_ the canoe, and you _will_ be eliminated! And no one eats _lunch_ until someone drops _out_!" The campers looked at each other in dread.

"Canoes _up_!" Chef commanded. Five pairs of hands raised the red canoe, and seven lifted the green one. Due to the drastic height differences among the Gophers, their canoe sloped forward slightly as Dawn stood in front and DJ in the far back.

"This is easy!" Alejandro commented.

"Piece of cake!" Geoff agreed.

/

The footage cut ahead, showing the sun beating down above the campers. Scarlett grunted in annoyance, and Beardo's stomach rumbled.

"Come on, you _sissies_!" Chef mocked from off-screen. "It's only been three hours!"

"Looks like they missed lunch today," Chris said in a surprise close-up.

"Mm-hmm," the large cook nodded. "Guess they just weren't _hungry_! Unless someone wants to _quit_ now?" The camera zoomed out to reveal the two men sitting cross-legged on top of the two canoes; Chris on the Gophers and Chef on the Bass.

Shawn's stomach growled, and Jo shot him an annoyed glance. "You'd _better_ not be thinking of quitting, Zombie Boy!"

The focus cut over to Sam, as he blinked and shook his head. "Uggh...," he groaned, "need...video games..." The perspective followed his as he looked around at his teammates and his surroundings, both of which shifted into pixelated, sprite-like versions of themselves. "Or food..." Sam added as his visions began to incorporate various food items, the canoe even turning into a large banana. Sam blinked, and took his hands off the canoe to rub his eyes.

He put them back in place just as Chef lowered his head. "Is there a _problem_ down here?!" he yelled.

"No..." Sam said wearily.

/

Night had fallen, and Dawn at the front of the Gopher's line-up was having trouble staying awake. "Twenty-five of us went in the jungle that night," Chef muttered as he sat by a campfire. "Only _five_ came back out..."

Alejandro yawned and asked, "And which war were you in again?"

"Did I _ask_ you to speak?" Chef yelled at him. "Because I don't _remembe_r asking you to speak."

"My apologies," Alejandro said softly, "just curious."

The focus moved to Dawn as the Gopher's logo appeared in the corner of the screen. She yawned, then sighed. "My friends, I am _deeply_ sorry," she said, stepping out from under the canoe, "but I fear I can _not_ go on. My arms have lost all feeling, and I am in great need of sleep..."

Sh trudged her way past Chef, who watched her and smirked. "Looks like we got ourselves a quitter!" he squealed.

"Dawn, no!" DJ cried, but it was too late. The short young woman made it to the end of the dock, and rang the bell with her forehead. The Gophers groaned and trembled under the additional weight they had to bear on tired arms, while the Bass happily dropped their canoe to the ground.

"Listen here," Chef told Dawn, "you have _nothin'_ to be ashamed of." He dropped his kindness and took out his megaphone. "Except bein' a little _baby_ that let your team down!" he yelled with enough force to nearly knock the petite girl over. "As for the rest of you," Chef turned his attention to the other campers, "head to the Mess Hall. Dinner is served!"

"It's about time," Jo grumbled as the Gopher canoe was dumped.

/

"Alright maggots, open your ears!" Chef's voice barked over a shot of the dining hall. "You've got ten minutes to eat before night training begins," he said as the camera cut inside and panned over the campers, Chris, and Chef himself, "so get to it!"

Several disbelieving cries of "Night training?!" and "No!" cropped up among the campers.

"Yo, Master Chief, where's the food?" DJ asked.

Chef smiled and motioned to four metal trash cans on the floor beside him. "You're _looking_ at it," he chuckled.

The shot briefly went dark, and the point-of-view was shown to have moved inside one of the trash cans as the lid was removed by a skeptical Shawn. "This...is the garbage from today's breakfast," he noted with a heavy sigh.

"Darn right!" Chef told him. "When you're at war, you _take_ what you can _get_!" Shawn frowned and rustled around in the can for a moment, pulling out a piece of what may once have been food. He blew on it, then tossed it in his mouth.

"Well," Chris said, "I can see you've got this under control. I'm off to Craft Services! Coming?" he asked his coworker.

"Heck yeah, gotta get me some of that!" Chef said, following the host out of the room.

Sammy's arm was shown rooting around one of the trash cans, and she whimpered in disappointment as she withdrew an old banana peel.

"Okay, there is no _way_ I will be eating like this," Alejandro complained, throwing down the meal tray he held.

"Likewise," Scarlett said, tossing away her own tray.

"What's the matter," Jo taunted as she walked past with a moldy piece of bread, "don't like what's on today's menu?"

"Yes," Scarlett said bluntly, "this is unsanitary. In addition, when I apply to earn the first of what will be _many_ degrees, I'd prefer it if footage of me eating food waste _didn't_ exist."

Jo rolled her eyes, and walked over to where Beardo was sitting. Their eyes met, and the hairy boy grunted and turned away. "Let me guess, still mad that I helped get rid of your little _girlfriend_?" Jo taunted.

"Yeah, I'm mad that you voted for Beth," Beardo said, "but we were _just_ friends!"

Jo scoffed. "Oh _please_, like I'm gonna believe that."

Beardo stared at her blankly. "Jo, I hate to break it to you, but I'm _gay_. I don't _like_ girls like you think I do. Of course, if you'd ever bothered to pay attention to your _allies_, you probably would've figured that out by now!"

"Like I've got time for _that_!" the jock-ette huffed, hiding her embarrassment. "I prefer focusing on things that actually _matter_, like _winning_!"

Beardo rolled his eyes. "Yeah, and you've done so much of _that_..."

"Hey!" Jo said, taking offense. "_I'm_ the reason we've been winning so much, so you'dbetter watch your back!"

Beardo made a loud buzzing noise, causing several people around the room to turn their attention to the feuding pair. "Not how I remember it. Let's see...," he began to count out on his fingers, "Shawn won the Awake-a-thon, me an' Beth won the dodgeball game, I won the talent contest, and the challenge after _that_ we only won because Lightning came back last," he paused for a moment, "then I think Scott got cursed or _somethin'_, and then Sierra messed up her team's dessert. None of that had anything to do with _you_."

Jo struggled to find a comeback. "_Fine_," she finally said through grit teeth, "maybe I haven't been directly responsible for our wins, but that changes _now_. Watch out Losers," she announced to the room, "because _this girl's_ gonna be the last one standing!" She walked off-screen, leaving most of the other campers bewildered.

/

The scene cut to a close-up of a stereo, a variation of Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' playing on it. Chef, standing at the end of a wooden platform, went through a series of dance moves similar to those associated with the song. He shuffled in place and stomped and so on, and the shot cut to Jo's feet as she began to mimic the moves.

The camera soon cut to a group shot, showing the campers positioned on the beach in three rows: Alejandro, Beardo, and B in the top; Bridgette, Geoff, Sam, and Scarlett in the middle; and Shawn, DJ, Dawn, Sammy, and Jo on the bottom row closest to the camera. They danced in sync with each other and the music, all in the style associated with the song. Chef was shown again, doing a few more moves which culminated in a series of pelvic thrusts, the camera getting closer with each one, until somebody turned off the stereo and the campers let loose a sigh of relief.

It was Shawn who had stepped out of line. "Yeah, dancing like this is starting to freak me out. If one of us drops out, can we stop?"

"We'll _stop_ when I _say_ we'll stop!" Chef barked at him. "Now drop and give me twenty!" Shawn groaned, and started doing push-ups. "Anyone _else_ got anything they want to say?"

"Umm, excuse me," Sammy raised her hand, knees closed together, "can I go to the bathroom?"

The shot skipped over to Sammy standing in the bathroom with a mop and bucket, rubber gloves on her hands. "This isn't really what I _meant_..." she sighed.

/

The dining hall was briefly shown from the outside again before the camera cut inside, showing every camper except Dawn sitting at their team's table. "For your next challenge," Chef told them, "you will complete a 300-word essay about how much you _love_ me. Anyone who falls asleep, or fails to _complete_ the challenge, will be eliminated!"

The scene flashed to a close-up of an analog clock, the hands reading approximately 12:55 am. A spider began to spin a web in the corner, and the clocked ticked away until it had reached 3:00 am and a buzzer sounded. Both Jo in the foreground and Scarlett in the background had deep bags under their eyes, and Sam was giggling softly to himself with a bit of drool trickling over his the side of his mouth. Alejandro and Shawn were shown barely keeping themselves awake, and Beardo made a 'sad trombone' sound as his essay was taken away while he was thinking of something else to write. Jo just smirked as Chef picked up her stack of papers.

"I _love_ Master Chief Hatchet," Chef read, voice getting lower with each word, "because he is really tough. I love Master Chief Hatchet...because he is really tough...I love Master Chief Hatchet..." He scowled at the girl. "This is just the same sentence repeated over and over for four pages!"

"Hey, it's _exactly_ 300 words, isn't it?" Jo defended. "Besides, you never said it had to be _good_!"

Chef continued to read the essays as he walked over to the Bass' side of the room, to where Sam sat giggling. "Is this _funny_ to you, Chubby?"

"Heh heh...that cutscene was pretty good..." Sam mumbled. "Good thing I finished on time, wouldn't want to get a 'game over' right now..."

Chef furrowed his brow. "Does this look like a _game_ to you, boy?!"

The gamer's viewpoint was shown again, and both Chef and the rest of the room had taken on the retro video game style that had been used for Sam's withdrawal before. A health bar had been added to the mock user interface, and it was dangerously low. The perspective cut back to the boy's front as he blinked and shook his head. "Yeah, kinda."

Chef growled, and stormed off. He slammed a fist down on the table, startling Bridgette awake. "You three slackers are out," Chef said as the camera panned over to show DJ and Sammy fast asleep and leaning against each other. "The rest of you, get to bed and report to the playing field at 0500 hours."

"Excuse me, I don't suppose you will be giving an advantage to the one who wrote the best essay?" Alejandro asked as Chef walked by.

"_No_!" the man yelled. "And if you try to suck up to me again, it'll be 50 laps around the camp!"

Alejandro groaned. "Yes, Master Chief."

"Well, _that_ was a waste of effort," Scarlett added.

/

The footage cut to Chef and the remaining eight campers standing next to the edge of a mud pit, with only a few scattered torches to see by. The camera began panning to the right, showing a wooden wall, a pair of hanging ropes with ramps leading to and away, a pair of raised tires, and a pair of large axes hanging upside-down and blade-inward at the end. "You will _all_ run this course," Chef explained, "until you can _all_ complete it in under one minute. Am I makin' my self _clear_?" he asked Jo, face-to-face.

"Yes sir!" she said cockily.

"Cool," Sam said as the shot cut over to the Bass. "This looks pretty fun. I just hope I can beat it under the time limit first try," he smiled as he pointed at some vague spot above him. Geoff and B gave each other concerned looks.

"_Go_, maggots, _go_!" Chef shouted at them, and the music picked up as the campers started to run the course. Feet splashed across the shallow pool, and Jo was the first up the wall. Beardo reached the top but struggled to pull himself over, while Alejandro made the jump with ease. Further along, Scarlett was shown diving through the raised tires, while Sam found himself stuck head-first. Geoff and Beardo crawled under the axes, and Jo and Shawn swung across the ropes with confidence.

B managed to squeeze himself through the tires, but landed face first in the pool. He got onto his hands and knees, and vomited out a stream of mud. "Yo, Master Chief dude! I think we've got a _problem_ over here!" Geoff called as he and Jo came upon that part of the course again; the jock-ette kept running as Chef walked over to see what the problem was. B looked like he was about to say something, but the only thing that came from his mouth was more mud.

"Ring the bell and report to the infirmary," Chef told the boy, picking him up by the sleeve of his coat. "Your tour of duty is finished."

"Aww, poor dude!" Geoff said as B walked off. "Just take it easy, man, you'll be fine!"

"Back on the _course_, soldier, _NOW_!" Chef commanded, and Geoff started running.

Clips of the obstacle course continued with Shawn and Beardo climbing the wall again; Beardo lost his grip and fell backwards off it, making the noise of a falling bomb as he dropped. A mud-spattered Geoff barely managed to get through the tire, and Scarlett tripped as she ran between obstacles. Shawn ended up looking like a marionette as he got tangled up in the ropes, and Alejandro struggled to keep himself from sinking beneath the axes. Sam crawled past him, sweaty and heaving, and bumped into Chef's boots.

"Whoa, boss fight already?" Sam said, woozily getting to his feet.

"Chubby, you better keep movin'. or drop and give me twenty right now!" Chef ordered, but Sam just chuckled.

"That won't work on _me_!" he said as the scene became pixelated and overlain with a graphical interface similar to a 2d fighting game. "Duck!" Sam said, ducking as Chef tried to grab him. He popped up and quickly ducked again, then giggled. "Duck! Now _punch_!" He threw a punch at Chef, but the muscular man merely caught it. Chef clenched his fist around the gamer's hand and growled, causing Sam to yelp in pain as his simulated life gauge to go down. The video game graphics disappeared, and the air around Chef took a reddish tinge.

"Uh oh, I think he pushed him over the edge," Geoff told Scarlett nearby.

"Indeed," Scarlett said.

"One night solitary confinement," Chef stated in barely-contained rage, veins bulging all over, "in the _Boathouse_."

Beardo, Alejandro, and Shawn all gasped from their respective spots along the course. Sam chuckled nervously as Scarlett and Geoff approached him, and said "Bad move, huh?"

/

A large fishing hooked gleamed in the first shot of the Boathouse interior, and it was quickly followed by a gleaming shark jaw, and the briefest glimpse of something swimming in a barrel of water. Sam sat alone on a crate amidst the fishing and boating gear, and looked thoroughly exhausted. "Well Samuel, you've really gotten yourself into a corner this time," he told himself. His eyes went wide as a wolf howled in the distance.

/

A bowl of something unidentified but presumably edible was shown as the scene transitioned to the Mess Hall. Geoff and Scarlett sat at a table poking their meal, Geoff sadly and Scarlett with visible skepticism. "I'm kinda worried about Sam," Geoff said. "Dude's gotta be pretty hungry out there by himself."

"I'm more concerned about ourselves," Scarlett replied. "This gruel looks to be neither rich in essential nutrients nor easily digestable. We'll require better sustenance if we want to win this challenge."

"Pardon me," Alejandro interrupted with a smile as the camera panned over to him, "but I couldn't help overhearing. I too find our current meal to be unsatisfactory." He leaned in closer, and began to whisper. "Perhaps we could...make an arrangement?"

Scarlett's eyes narrowed. "I'm listening..."

/

Sam was humming the tune of a video game as he sat in darkness, tossing random objects at a line of life preservers he'd set up in a row. "Ten points!" he cheered when he managed to throw an oar through the middle of them. He bent down and picked up the metal lid of a bait bucket.

The door to the Boathouse opened, and he turned his head. "Hello? Came a familiar voice, accompanied by the shine of a flashlight. "Is anyone in here?"

"...Dakota?" Sam asked, taking a step forward. "Is that you?"

The girl squealed and dropped her flashlight, then squinted at her former teammate. "Sam?" she asked. "Why are _you_ here?"

The gamer scratched the back of his neck. "Chef got pretty mad at me during the challenge, so he sent me to solitary. What brings you here?"

"Huh? Oh! Chris told me to come here and dump this bucket of chum out," she held up a metal bucket for him to see; it had flies circling it. "He didn't say why, just that I should throw it away as soon as I got here." She paused, looked down at the chum bucket, shrugged, and dumped it into the water.

"I think he probably expected you to throw it on me," Sam said after she'd tossed the empty bucket away.

"Oh no," Dakota groaned, "don't tell me I messed up?"

"_No_!" Sam told her quickly. "I mean, _I'm_ pretty glad you didn't cover me in chum, that doesn't really sound enjoyable. Who cares if Chris is disappointed?"

Dakota sighed and sat on a barrel. "It's just that every time I think I've got this whole '_intern_' thing figured out, I do something wrong! Like, I'm still as cute and adorable as I _always_ am, but somehow that's just, I don't know, not _enough_. Do you know what I mean?"

"Kinda," Sam said. "I guess the same thing is happening to me in a way. Like, I've spent all these years getting good at video games, and I thought that was all I'd ever need, but now it's like all of that's working _against_ me. And when I look at Geoff, and B, and Scarlett, and Bridgette, and even the Gophers, it's like none of them are having the same problem."

He sighed, and half-heartedly tossed the lid he'd been holding at the life preservers, and it bounced off the first one. "I think we need to level-up or something."

Dakota looked perplexed. "What do you mean?"

"That we need to improve ourselves, you know, branch out and find some _other_ stuff we're good at," Sam explained. "So that way we'll still be an awesome gamer and an _incredibly_ attractive and fashionable girl, but we'll also be _more_ than that."

Dakota smiled. "So I guess it'll be harder than just getting a makeover, huh?"

Sam shrugged. "Probably. But I think it'll be worth it. And we can still do the makeover if you want to," he looked down at his striped shirt, "I could probably use one to be honest." Dakota giggled, and Sam did as well.

/

The scene cut to an exterior shot of a large tent as a pair of 'bushes' walked up to it. They stopped a few yards from the entrance, and Alejandro and Scarlett popped their heads out and looked around. From the inside the tent, Alejandro was shown peeking into the opening, Scarlett following suit seconds later.

"Twenty-five of us went into the jungle that night," Chef droned as the pair threw several small objects off-screen and dropped to the ground, "only five came back out."

Without making a sound, they crawled along the ground until they came to a refrigerator, smiled at each other, and Alejandro opened the duffel bag he'd brought. Starting with a jar of peanut butter they began loading food into the bag, Scarlett keeping one eye on her watch. "Detonation in 3," she whispered, "2, 1!" Both teens stuck their fingers in their ears.

"I mean, _come on_," Chris told Chef as the shot changed over to him, "I am _nothin_g without my-" he was interrupted by a series of small explosions from outside. "The heck was _that_?" Startled, Chris and Chef ran out of the tent and into a cloud of smoke.

Scarlett and Alejandro quickly shoved more food into their bag and zipped it up. "Anything _else_ we should grab while we're here?" the charmer asked.

The brainiac grabbed a carton of milk, shook it, and raised an eyebrow. "This should be sufficient," she said as she put the carton back – it had a picture of Staci, the first to be voted out, on the back – and closed the fridge. "We'll share it equally amongst both teams, correct?"

"But of course!" Alejandro smiled. "I _always_ keep my word when it comes to someone like _you_."

Scarlett didn't look impressed. The shot cut to moments later as the two dashed off into the night, bag of food tucked under Alejandro's arm.

/

The Bass cabin was shown briefly as the scene cut inside it. Beardo and Shawn were sitting on the floor eating a plate of cookies and a sandwich respectively, while DJ sat on a bed and carefully spread peanut butter on a slice of bread. "Man, this is a great haul you two brought back," he said.

"Yeah," Shawn added, "and after that obstacle course, we need all the food we can get!"

The camera panned over to Bridgette, Dawn, and Sammy, the three blondes also enjoying the pilfered treats. "I wonder if all that stuff Chef was saying about being in a war was true," Sammy mused with a mouth half-full of food.

"Regardless," Dawn said, "he is intent on giving us combat training we'll never use."

"Seriously," Bridgette added from her spot on the floor, "if I wanted to join the army I would have." The girls were snapped out of their conversation by the sound of a belch off-camera, causing them to gasp in disgust.

"Ah, that hit the spot!" Jo said, wiping her mouth and noticing the looks she was getting. "What? Like none of _you_ have ever burped before."

"Dude, you belch like a...a dude!" Geoff said in awe as B flipped a cracker into his mouth.

"No," Jo countered with a smirk, "I belch like a _girl_ who's not afraid to let loose!"

Alejandro and Scarlett were shown standing in a corner, rolling their eyes at the antics of the others. Scarlett smiled and reached for the last sandwich on a plate between them, eating it quickly.

"Don't eat so _quickly_, señorita," Alejandro told her, "lest you upset your stomach."

"I'll be fine," Scarlett told him, "I'll risk indigestion if it means eating properly for the first time in days." She burped slightly, then frowned. "Although in the event that I do end up vomiting, perhaps I should leave the room." She got to her feet, and casually made for the door. Alejandro watched her for a moment, shrugged, and followed.

The redhead leaned against the porch railing and yawned. "It is a beautiful night tonight, is it not?" Alejandro said, coming up beside her. The starry sky was shown, and the two were quiet for a moment.

"How do you put up with them?" Scarlett finally asked. "Especially Jo, who seems far too competitive to work with for a prolonged basis."

"I manage," Alejandro answered with a small sigh. "Jo is really the only difficult one, the rest of us are quite good friends – aside from _Beardo_ of course, but I'm afraid he's only been irritable since Beth left, as they were _quite_ close."

"Hmm...in that case, I'm surprised you haven't voted either of them off yet," Scarlett said.

Alejandro shrugged. "We've only had four eliminations so far, and each time there was someone else the team wished to get rid of more."

"Lucky you," Scarlett said dryly. "And for the record, I doubt that your team gets along as well as you say you do."

The boy shrugged again. "Believe what you will. In the end, I managed to feed all three Gophers still in the challenge, while you've only fed two. Clearly, I and my team look out for each other more than the Bass do." He smiled at her, and walked back into the cabin.

Scarlett's eyes went wide, and she palmed her forehead. "Of course, Sam is still in the boathouse! I need to gather up the remaining food and-"

"Attention remaining boot camp recruits!" Chef announced over the loudspeaker. "The next evolution of your training begins tomorrow morning, at 0700 hours." Each group of campers was shown in turn, listening to the announcement with dread.. "And if I catch the _sucka_ that set off those smoke bombs and took my food, yo' _butt_ is _mine_!" The scene ended with a view of the camp from the docks, lights on but nobody about.

/

The footage skipped ahead to the next part of the challenge, showing the six remaining campers hanging from a tree by their knees. Scarlett, Sam, and Geoff hung for the Bass on the left, while Jo, Alejandro, and Shawn represented the Gophers on the right.

"What you are experiencing," Chef told them as he walked into the scene from the right, "is an ancient form of torture. By now, the blood has begun rushin' to your head." The camera zoomed in on his grim visage as he detailed what the teenagers were going through. "The next stage is _nausea_, followed by dizziness and a flushed appearance, as the blood begins to pool in your _eyes_." The focus shifted to Shawn, who began to look woozy and cross-eyed. "You may experience _faintin_' spells," Chef said, and the survivalist finally dropped.

"Amigo, are you alright?" Alejandro called.

Bridgette dashed up to wear he lay awkwardly on the ground, and quickly looked him over. "It's okay," she called after getting him straightened out, "he'll be fine!"

Smiling, Alejandro leaned up and grabbed the branch with his hands, adjusting his position but not dropping. Beside him, Jo did the same, and the camera panned over to show Geoff and Scarlett following suit. Sam was struggling at the end, lacking the flexibility of the others.

"Come on," he grunted, "almost got it! Not gonna let down...the team! I've still got a guy left, so-" he flopped down, then lunged back up. His fingers brushed the branch, but were unable to grab onto it before he swung back down and his momentum caused him to fall. "Looks like another 'game over' for me...," he moaned, flopping over onto his back.

The four teens were shown again, and this time it was Scarlett who appeared to be getting dizzy. "Well," she sighed, "it seems _I've_ hit my limit. I'd prefer not risking any damage due to temporarily high blood pressure." With that, she dropped.

"Me too," Alejandro added. "I'd rather drop on my _own_ terms than fall and risk damage to my body."

"I expected more out of you two soldiers," Chef said in disappointment.

"I fail to see how that is either of our faults," Scarlett replied. "Personally, I have _never_ displayed either exceptional physical endurance or a proclivity towards behaviors which carry a risk of impacting my mental abilities. To be honest, I'm surprised I made it this far."

Chef scowled as she walked away. "And what's _your_ excuse, pretty boy?" he asked the other fallen teen.

Alejandro smiled at him. "Like I said, I did not want to injure myself by falling. Surely even _you_ must admit it would be a shame to scar _this_?" He pulled his shirt open just enough to reveal his muscular chest. Bridgette, Sammy, Dawn, Beardo, and even Scarlett and Chef himself were shown looking at it with interest.

"_Fine_," Chef grunted, and Alejandro walked away with a smug look on his face.

"We're counting on you, Jo!" the charmer called as he took his place with his team.

"The same for you, Geoff!" Scarlett answered.

"I can take all the time I need to win, no problem!" Jo said confidently, shooting a glance at her opponent.

"Rock on, sister!" Geoff cheered, letting go of one hand to pump a fist. "I _live_ for the head rush!" He laughed, then began to slur his words. "It feels..._sooo_...gooooddd..." It was no surprise when he finally fell.

"Geoff!" Bridgette said in concern as Scarlett groaned.

"_That's_ gonna leave a mark," Sam said with a wince, B nodding in agreement next to him.

Moments later, DJ had taken Jo up on his shoulders and the Gophers were parading her around triumphantly; even Beardo looked mildly happy. "Yeah! I'm the greatest!" Jo cheered as she and her team ran around.

"Jo!" Chef called as the team approached him and skid to a halt. "Congratulations soldier," he saluted her, "I'd go to war with you anytime!"

"Thanks," the jock-ette said hesitantly and back on her feet, "I'll try to remember that" She turned her back on him and walked away, rolling her eyes.

"You do that, soldier!" Chef called after her as her team took her away to celebrate. "You do that!" He shed a single tear as he watched her leave.

/

Chef Hatchet, still in his military uniform, stood behind the Killer Bass during the elimination ceremony. "I only have _four_ marshmallows on my plate," Chris began in a dramatic tone. "And these marshmallows represent the campers...that will continue to be..._campers_. Here." Scarlett rolled her eyes while Bridgette and the boys looked nervous.

"You've all cast your ballots in the confession cam," Chris announced. "If I do not call your name, you must immediately go down to the Dock of Shame," the boat was shown waiting at the lake, "catch the Boat of Losers, and _go home_. And you can't come back," his smile quickly became a frown, "_ev-er_!"

The camera panned over the annoyed and anxious faces of the five Bass. "B!" was the first name called out, and the boy pumped his fist and went to grab his treat. "Bridgette! Geoff!" The surfer went up quietly, while the party-boy gave out a short cheer.

"Campers," the host frowned and held up the plate, "_this_ is the final marshmallow of the night." Scarlett and Sam looked at each other, the young woman confident and the young man resigned. "Scarlett."

Sam sighed as his former teammate claimed her prize, and stood up. "Well, can't say I'm surprised," he told the four remaining Bass, "but at least I made it this far!" He shared a fist bump with B upon passing the group.

"We'll miss you, dude," Geoff told him, giving the gamer a pat on the back.

"Sorry we had to vote you out," Bridgette added, hugging the boy.

"Hey, don't worry about it guys!" Sam told them. "To tell you the truth, I voted for me too. I just can't keep going without any video games, I would've just been holding you guys back. Speaking of which, can I have them back now?" He looked at Chef, who had brought the rather large bag of confiscated game consoles and was currently picking through it.

"Not a chance, soldier." The large man said, looking at Sam over his shades. Sam sighed, then slumped away.

He was just about to board the Boat of Losers when he heard a sudden voice. "Sam! Wait!" Dakota cried, running down the dock.

"Hey!" the gamer said with a renewed smile, taking the heiress' hands in his. "You came to see me off!"

"Aww, I'm gonna miss you," Dakota told him, pulling out a slip of paper from her pocket and pushing it at Sam. "Thanks for everything. Call me, 'kay?"

"I may have lost the game," Sam said happily, "but I won the heart of the girl of my dreams!" The two leaned in, and against the light of the moon they kissed.

It ended abruptly when Chef, having abandoned the ex-contestant's games, lifted Sam up by the neck of his shirt and threw him onto the boat. "I'll never forget you!" he called as the boat sped away, the two lovers waving each other goodbye.

/

The music turned ominous as Scarlett stood alone at the campfire, holding her marshmallow deep in the flames. "Four to seven...," she muttered, taking the charred confection out of the fire. Brief flashbacks were shown of Alejandro approaching her with a plan, of them stealing the food in silence, and of their conversation on the cabin porch. The footage cut to static, signaling the start of a confessional.

xxx

It was Alejandro, grinning smugly. "Jo, though difficult to work with, has many traits I can take advantage of," he said as the scene cut outside to reveal Scarlett eavesdropping from the bushes.

"More importantly, Scarlett is as much a challenge as I hoped she would be. As long as I keep pretending to be on her side, sooner or later she'll be eating out of my hand." As Alejandro finished up in the outhouse, Scarlett narrowed her eyes and the confessional cut to static.

xxx

"Keep it together, Scarlett," the redhead told herself in front of the campfire. "Once you can guarantee two or three pieces on your side of the board, you'll be in a position to take down the biggest threat in the game. And then..." She stared at the still-burning flames on her charred marshmallow, and for a moment her eyes were red.

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

**Author's Note - Post Script**

Well, that certainly ended differently than in canon. I really did enjoy writing the Samkota parts, it's a pairing I've really grown to love recently.I hope i gave him a good send-off.

The similarities to canon for some of the minor details might still be a bit much I guess, but hopefully they're acceptable.

Other than that, only two chapters left until the merge! And I get to start writing 'Brunch of Disgustingness' next, which I've been looking forward to. Until then!

- Fangren

* * *

**Appendix: TSI Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (22nd Place)

Dakota - (21st Place)

Ezekiel - (20th Place)

Sugar - (19th Place)

Lightning - (18th Place)

Amy - (17th Place)

Scott - (16th Place)

Beth - (15th Place)

Sierra - (14th Place)

Topher - (13th Place)

Sam - (12th Place)


	13. Chapter 13 - X-Treme Torture

**Author's Note**

Hello again! I'm quite glad to be finally getting this out. Chapter 14 started out fairly well, but once I hit the actual challenge I wasn't able to work things out as quickly as I'd like. It also didn't end up quite as different from the canon episode as I wanted, but there's not a whole lot I could do about that short of a more major rewrite of the episode's plot. This chapter, however, I'm feeling pretty good about, at least in terms of being different from canon.

Also, this story has broken 5000 views, as well as 100 reviews! I'm pretty happy about that. I wonder how big this will end up at the end?

Anyways, on to the many reviews!

**Sleep Arypsure:** I know I say stuff like this to my repeat reviewers a lot, but thank you so much! I've been planning on Beardo being gay since like the beginning, and it's why I wanted to be certain that everyone understood he and Beth would never get together. other than that, I'm glad you like this so much!

**Bellyacher:** Yeah, I'd hoped someone would pick up on Beardo liking guys when he blushed at Alejandro. And yeah, I've made it a point to keep a chapter ahead of schedule in case something bad happens and I'm not able to write for an extended period.

**Star Saber21:** I'm glad you liked how the chapter ended! Sam's really a genuinely nice person, and I really enjoyed writing his budding relationship with Dakota. And while Scarlett hasn't completely lost it yet, she is starting to slip a little.

**bruno14:** Yeah, it's a bit of a sad ending for Sam, but at least he fared much better than in canon - lasted longer, and actually held on to Dakota' number.

**Jinxup116 and EvilAngel666:** I'm looking forward to Evil Scarlett as well, though she's not quite at 'Scarlett fever' levels yet. I'm taking things a bit more...slowly.

**Madison Wooten:** Thank you, in so many ways! I'm quite happy to see this story has so many fans, and so many consistent reviewers. It really is something I look forward to each week.

**acosta perez jose ramiro:** As always, thank you!

**aloasa:** I'm glad you feel that way! Not having Heather and Mal in this fic is really a good thing in the long run though, gotta save some villains for the later seasons.

**Cole D. Soul:** Actually, Scarlett was evil from the beginning, she just didn't show it until she felt she was in a position to hold the others hostage and demand the prize money from Chris. Max merely annoyed her and gave her someone to focus on before that.

**Hound78:** Well, thanks!

**Anonymous:** Thanks! To answer your question, right now I'm definitely leaning towards Blaineley getting stuck as a contestant during World Tour. However, I will not rule out the possibility of one of the former competitors getting that slot, be it someone who was in World Tour at the beginning or not.

As requested, here are the remaining contestants as of the beginning of the chapter:

Killer Bass - B, Bridgette, Geoff, Scarlett

Screaming Gophers - Alejandro, Beardo, Dawn, DJ, Jo, Sammy, Shawn

Well then, here's the chapter!

- Fangren

* * *

**Episode 13 – X-Treme Torture**

"Last time, on Total Drama Island!" As always, the stock shot of Chris on the docks switched to a series of clips from the previous episode, beginning with Chef explaining the challenge to the teens. "The eleven surviving campers were put through Master Chief Hatchet's _brutal_ boot camp!" The recapitulation of the previous episode skipped straight to the obstacle course, with highlights of the gamer's disastrous attempt at doing battle. "Surprisingly, Sam was the first one sent to the brig by Major Harshness for disorderly conduct after his lack of video games finally got to him."

Sam sitting alone in the dark was shown briefly, before he was visited by his love interest. "Dakota ended up joining him, but rather than _accidentally_ covering him in fish guts, they just talked. Bummer." The next scene shown was the two unofficial team leaders conversing at dinner, then sneaking up on the Craft Services tent, throwing a few smoke bombs, and raiding the fridge while host and assistant were occupied. "Meanwhile, Scarlett and Alejandro teamed up to cross enemy lines and steal food for their teams, and then had an _interesting_ conversation. And by interesting, I mean _boring_. I mean, come _on_ people, would it kill you to be a little more dramatic? Jeez!"

"Anyway," Chris continued as the scene finally changed to a brief shot of the jock-ette winning the challenge for her team, "Jo finally showed us what she was capable of, and it was Sam who got both the boot, and Dakota's digits." A few shots of the elimination were shown, before the review footage ended and the camera cut to a close-up of the 'Wawanakwa' sign near the docks. The shot panned down to show the host lounging on an Adirondack chair, getting fanned with a large leaf by Dakota and eating marshmallows from a bag.

"And hey," Chris said, "for a nerdy gamer kid, the dude had some sweet moves. Isn't that right, Dakota?" He looked over at the girl, who blushed and averted her eyes. Chris chuckled as the camera moved back onto him. "This week, the campers are pushed to the _extreme_! Who will crack under the pressure? Find out, right now, on Total! Drama! Island!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

_Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

_You guys are on my mind!_

_Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

_And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

_I wanna be...famous!_

_I wanna live close to the sun!_

_Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

_Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

_I'll get there one day._

_'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

_(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

A shot of the camp from the beach opened the episode, the background music beginning lightly as the camera flew up and over to the dining hall. The music deepened as a camera hidden within a dumpster caught the lid being raised and a bear grabbing several unopened packages of marshmallows from inside. It looked around as snoring started to play over the scene, and the bear's closing of the dumpster lid transitioned the footage into a quick shot of Jo snoring in her bed. B and Scarlett were also shown asleep, the young man in a dirty white tank top with spare parts and tools lying around him and his counterpart wearing a sleep mask and with a much more orderly sleeping area. Shawn was the fourth and final camper shown, sleeping in his usual clothes in the branches of a pine tree.

The sound of an airplane flying close by startled him awake with a gasp and a snort, and he shot a look of annoyance below him. A small, battered, and rusty yellow plane flew by; one front landing wheel had been replaced by a ski, and Chris was just barely visible in the cockpit. The marshmallow-stealing bear was shown running away from the commotion, and as Scarlett, Beardo, Dawn, and Sammy came out to check what was going on, Chris made another pass.

"Incoming!" he said with a grin.

"Scatter!" Scarlett shouted, prompting the four who had been shown previously as well as Bridgette to take off running just before the plane flew through the common area.

"Hah!" Chris cheered, looking backwards then turning to the camera. "Oh man, just wait until I get my Pilot's License!" His eyebrows raised in shock as he crashed right through the confessional outhouse, revealing the bear crouched on the ground behind it, paws over its eyes. It noticed its lack of shelter and the camera and looked embarrassed, then quickly gathered the bags of marshmallows it had dropped and ran.

The plane screeched to a halt, and the camera zoomed in on the smiling host as the visor of his helmet retracted. "Just flexing your muscles for today's," he pulled out a megaphone, "EXTREME SPORTS CHALLENGE!" The final word reverberated loudly, causing Bridgette, Geoff, Beardo, Jo, B, and Dawn to cringe nearby.

"Dude, did you _have_ to do that?" Geoff asked in annoyance, but the host ignored him.

"This week," he told them, "you'll participate in three challenges. First up," he made use of the megaphone again, "EXTREME SOFA-BED SKYDIVING!" The campers looked confused as he continued his explanation. "Contestants will plummet-uhhhh, _skydive_," Chris said as the side door of the plane slid open and Chef, dressed in military skydiving gear, looked down upon an unfolded sofa bed on the ground, "onto a waiting sofa bed target below."

A few springs poked out of the mattress, and Chef made the short hop onto it. He landed on the sofa part, causing the mattress to forcefully retract in on him; Geoff and Bridgette winced at Chef's muffled screams.

"Of course," the host continued, "you'll be skydiving from 5000 feet! _And_ using these!" Grinning evilly, he lifted a pair of ratty old parachute packs up to his window and threw them at the campers' feet. "Our lucky contestants are...," he said as he pulled a pice of paper from his pocket, "Geoff and DJ!"

"Woooo!" Geoff cheered, slapping DJ on the back. "This is _awesome_! I've always wanted to go skydiving! They say it's a _huge_ rush, man."

"Yeah, uh, sure," DJ said nervously, "bring it on..."

"Not so fast!" Chris interrupted. "Because the second challenge of the day is, EXTREME RODEO MOOSE RIDING!" The camera panned over to a rather annoyed-looking bull moose in a small pen. "Contestants will rodeo-ride the Great Canadian Bucking Moose for eight seconds, _or_," he pointed to his watch before the camera quickly panned over to several campers holding their noses over a large pile of visibly stinking socks, "get hoofed into a giant pile of socks from the Lost and Found!"

"Oh please," Jo scoffed, "I've seen worse piles at the _gym_!"

Chris quickly put his arm around her and continued his explanation. "It's your lucky day, Jo! You're riding for the Gophers! And Scarlett," the camera cut to Scarlett, B, and Bridgette, "you'll ride for Bass!" The brainiac sighed heavily.

"Oh my," Dawn said, getting a closer look at the penned-in moose, "he isn't a very _happy_ moose..."

"And, the final challenge," Chris announced via megaphone, "EXTREME SEADOO WATER SKIING!" The scene cut to a large pool of mud in a clearing the the woods; on the left end was a checkered banner indicating the start and finish, while a pair of ramps and several colored flags were scattered about the middle. On the far shore was the large totem pole with tape-mounted cameras that had been featured in the initial shots of the camp in the very first episode. "Contestants will water ski a race course, grabbing as many flags as they can before crossing the finish line, while a member from the _opposing_ team drives the seadoo."

A flash transitioned the scene back to the campers. "Uh, don't you need _water_ in order to water ski?" Shawn asked hesitantly.

"Not really!" Chris said with a smile through his megaphone. "Check it out!" The camera panned over to Chef, who water skied into view over a small cliff and onto the dry dirt. He screamed as he bounced along the ground, only stopping when he slammed head-first into a large rock face.

"Awesome!" Chris laughed before turning his attention – and megaphone – back to the campers. "Bridgette, you'll ski for Killer Bass!"

"Okay!" the surfer said with forced enthusiasm.

"And Beardo, for the Screaming Gophers!" the host added, finally putting his megaphone down.

The hairy boy made the sound of a ship's bell dinging and gave the host a thumbs up.

"Now for the cool swag!" Chris said, making use of his megaphone once again. "Whoever scores the most challenges gets bragging rights for the night, saves their _butts_ from elimination, _and_ wins a tricked-out multi-massage mobile shower!" The shot quick-panned over to a truck, the trailer of which was partially opened to show the shower facilities within. Chef sat smiling in front of the truck, playing a harp as the sparkling insides of the shower room were shown in a close-up.

"Oh, wow!" Sammy said in awe.

"I _know_, right?" Chris told her.

"Is that it?" Jo asked. "I mean, I guess the extra _privacy_ is nice, but it's still just a shower. We already _have_ one of those!"

"Yes," Alejandro told her, "we have _one_ of those. Which is _extremely_ disgusting I might add. Believe me, this will be a _welcome_ reward for us when we win."

"Fine," Jo relented with rolled eyes, "it's not like I wasn't going to win this anyway."

The scene cut to the plane's propeller starting up, and the campers getting blown back by the resulting wind. "Okay gang," Chris told them, "chow for brekkie, then report back in twenty minutes for the EXTREME SPORTS CHALLENGE!"

A large cloud of dirt and dust was blown up as the plane took off, leaving Shawn and Bridgette with a hacking cough.

/

Dawn and Sammy were shown walking away from the dining hall together in the distance, with Geoff leaving the building as well before the scene cut inside. Beardo quickly swallowed the last bits of gruel from his bowl, placing it on top of a stack that Chef held before walking over to where Alejandro was seated.

"Yo Al, can I talk to you for a second?" he asked in a hushed tone, sitting down across from the still-eating young man.

Alejandro's eye twitched briefly, but he answered his teammate with a smile. "Of course, amigo! What do you wish to talk about?"

"Well," the hairy boy said slowly, "I think it's time we formed an alliance to get rid of Jo. I mean, probably not _tonight_, but we can't keep winnin' forever and she's been getting' on everybody's nerves. So, what with us two bein' the ones with the biggest grudge against her, I figure we could work together and get rid of Jo the next time we can. What do you think?"

Alejandro rubbed his soul patch in thought for a few seconds. "Your offer is intriguing," he told Beardo. "I certainly _would_ like to see Jo gone as soon as possible, and she can't _possibly_ have enough allies to save herself. It would be simple to get enough votes to eliminate her."

"So, we got a deal?" Beardo asked, offering his hand.

"Yes my friend, we have a deal," Alejandro smiled darkly, sealing it with a handshake.

"Cool! Catch you later, man!" Beardo said, walking off. He passed Jo on the way out, and the two exchanged glares.

Once her former rival had left the room, Jo took her own turn at approaching Alejandro. "What were you two talking about?" she asked, casting a suspicious look at her rival.

"Nothing of much importance," the young man answered easily. "I believe he was attempting to flirt with me, but he's still quite shy so it's difficult to tell."

"Figures," Jo huffed. "Letting a guy _distract_ him is a sign of weakness. It was a mistake to form an alliance with him."

"Is there...anything _else_ you want?" Alejandro asked her with a hint of impatience.

"Yeah," the tough girl said. "Now, I don't like you and you don't like me, but we're obviously the two strongest players in the game. It's only a matter of time before the others start gunning for us, so how about we form an alliance _now_ and pick them off first?"

Alejandro narrowed his eyes and folded his hands in front of himself. "Go on..."

"Look, with the Mistress of Cryptic Garbage and her two wimpy friends still on the team, the rest of us need to stick together. Shawn's still trying to play the loner, but between the two of us we should be able to get him on our side too."

"I'll admit, I'm interested in your proposal," Alejandro said after a moment. "Who would you have us vote out first?"

"Easy," Jo replied, "we vote out Beardo. He's expendable _and_ annoying, so we should take him out before he joins up with the rest of our loser teammates."

"Sounds like a plan!" the charmer told her with a dark smile.

xxx

"Well," Alejandro confessed in the privacy of the outhouse, "this is certainly an interesting turn of events." He smiled wickedly and rubbed his hands together. "They both think I'm on their side, but one will inevitably betrayed. The only question is: which one?"

xxx

The footage cut back to a distance shot of the plane on the ground, with the two jumpers putting their gear on and the rest of their teams inspecting the sofa beds. "Now, remember," Chris told them, "Ground teams can wheelie the sofa beds wherever they want in order to help their comrade with the landing."

"You'll be fine, DJ," Dawn told her friend. "I already read the tea leaves, and I saw _no_ signs of danger within them."

"And since there's six of us, moving the sofa bed should be easy, right?" Sammy added.

"Thanks," DJ told them, "I appreciate it. I'm just glad we ain't jumpin' into shark-infested water again."

"Yeah, dude!" Geoff said with a slap on his fellow jumper's back. "Plus, y'know, we got these _sweet_ parachutes! We'll be _fine_, even if we miss!"

"Just remember," Shawn told them as he inspected the Gophers' sofa, "if your chute doesn't open and you think you're gonna miss, try to _roll_ as you land so you don't get hurt as badly."

"Right on!" Geoff grinned.

/

The shot changed to a high-altitude view across what was implied to be the landscape surrounding the island, a mix of water and chunks of land. The sound of the engine heralded the plane's on-camera arrival, and the viewpoint shifted to get a head-on view of DJ and Geoff as the side door of the plane slid open mid-flight.

"If you could just fill these out!" Chris said over the roar of the plane, leaning out of his seat and pointing to a stack of papers in his hand.

"But," DJ said in alarm, "we already signed insurance forms at the beginning of the show!"

"Yeah," the host countered, "but _these_ are for organ donation! I have this cool cannibal challenge I wanna pitch to the producers, and this'll go a long way toward budgeting free props!"

"No thanks, dude!" Geoff answered. "That seems _way_ too heinous!"

"Suit yourself," Chris smiled. "By the way, the drop's coming up!"

DJ and Geoff cautiously looked out over the island, and an aerial shot of Wawanakwa transitioned the scene to down below. The camera panned down from the trees to reveal the three grounded members of the Killer Bass struggling to move the sofa by themselves.

"Pushing it won't be sufficient," Scarlett stated, taking a break from the task and peering upwards with a hand shielding her eyes. "We need to move more quickly. Bridgette, grab the other end," the brainiac directed, "and B, take the back. If I take this end, we should be able to distribute the weight evenly and lift it up." Her teammates nodded and got into position. Their unofficial leader did so as well, and with a bit of effort they managed to get the sofa off the ground.

"Hey, this isn't so bad!" Bridgette said with a smile. "We can do this!" Her teammates smiled as well, and together they set off down the beach at a much quicker pace.

/

Back in the air, the boys were preparing to jump. "Well dude," Geoff said uncertainly, "I guess it's now or never!" He took a deep breath and flung himself into the air; almost immediately he began to scream.

Still in the relative safety of the plane, DJ winced. "Aww man, I hope he hits the mattress..."

The party-lover's descent was tracked by the camera, and with each passing moment his fear faded into adrenaline-based thrill. "WOOOHOOO!" he cried, helmet over his hat and grin on his face.

Down below, the three Bass hurried to get into position. "A little further east!" Scarlett shouted, eyes focused on her falling teammate.

B quickly extended the bed portion, and the brainiac's estimate was proven accurate. Geoff landed squarely on the extended mattress, his impact enough to force the sofa bed out of his companion's hands. He uttered one final "Woohoo!" amidst the small cloud of sand that had been stirred up before the mattress suddenly retracted, carrying the young man with it into the bowels of the sofa.

"Geoff!" Bridgette cried in fear just as the shot cut away from the Killer Bass.

/

"Okay," DJ told himself, "you can do this! Pull the blue cord first, then the red." He put his hand on a the cords dangling from the bottom of his pack, then jumped.

"Or was it the other way around?!" He panicked after mere moments in the air, and pulled at the red cord, which broke away. "Aww, _no_!" he exclaimed, pulling the blue and having it detach as well. He immediately began screaming and flailing as the camera panned down to the beach.

Beardo began an air siren as he pointed to the sky. "Incoming this way!" he told the others, motioning for the five to move with him.

"No, he's coming _this_ way!" Jo countered, pulling the sofa in the opposite direction.

"Please," Alejandro told them as DJ's screams of terror grew louder, "we must move _quickly_!"

The gentle giant was shown again, having somehow managed to deploy his parachute. With little control over his descent, he ended up nearly at the mercy of the wind as he swayed back and forth.

"Oh no!" Sammy cried. "We have to save him!"

"Yeah," Jo grunted as she struggled for control of the sofa, "but he's headed _this_ way!"

The cheerleader growled in frustration. "You're not _helping_!"

As DJ approached the ground, it was Shawn who gave up first. "Sorry, dude!" he called out to his terrified teammate. "Looks like you're gonna miss the sofa, so I think you're supposed to land on your side to reduce the impact!"

Another scream signaled absolutely nothing from the large young man, but after a few sways his path seemed to stabilize and he managed to touch down. Too shaken to keep on his feet, he inadvertently followed Shawn's advice by collapsing onto his side as the parachute dragged him a few more feet. Naturally, Sammy and Dawn were the first pair to chase after him.

"Uggh," Shawn glared at Jo, Alejandro, and Beardo, "we're lucky he landed okay. You three _really_ need to stop arguing all the time." He turned and went to catch up with DJ.

/

Chris' plane flew over a few trees before circling around past the campers. "Gophers lose, Bass win! 1-0!" he announced through his megaphone.

"Man," DJ said as he dusted himself off and removed his pack, "I'm glad I made it and all, but that is _not_ somethin' I wanna do again."

"Too bad you didn't land on the mattress though," Sammy said idly, "not that it's your fault, of course."

Dawn nodded. "Hopefully our team will not be brought down by our inability to work together for the greater good."

/

"Okay cowpokes!" Chris announced as the footage skipped ahead. "Let's start the rodeo moose chal-len-ge!"

"Don't worry!" Geoff said cheerily over a shot of the penned-in moose. "Rodeo ridin's easy, just gotta feel the flow!" The four members of the Bass were shown making their approach. "Kinda like surfin', I guess!" Geoff added with a wink towards Bridgette.

"I doubt it's that simple," Scarlett sighed as she sized up the animal she was to ride. "Especially if I'm to ride bareback on an animal which _clearly_ hasn't been domesticated."

"I'm sure you'll do fine!" Bridgette told her as the redhead climbed the small ladder on the side of the pen.

She carefully lowered herself onto the large deer's back, and grabbed a few tufts of hair around its neck. "Okay, as long as I maintain my grip I should be able to-"

As she spoke, the moose's eyes were shown becoming narrow and angry. Chef reached a trembling hand toward the latch on the pen gate, and as soon as it was lifted the moose charged forward, rider in mid-sentence. Chef fell with a pained scream, and Scarlett clung to the animal's back as best she could while crying in alarm. The moose bucked once and failed to shake its rider, but loosened her grip enough for the second to send her flying – straight into the host, who had his eyes firmly on a stopwatch.

B, Geoff, and Bridgette winced as both were shown lying on the ground. "Hey!" Chris shouted angrily. "You could've at least landed in the _sock pile_ like you were _supposed_ to!" Scarlett could only groan in response.

Unexpectedly, the footage paused. "Hold up, stop right there!" Chris' voice said in annoyance. "Let's just rewind a bit and run the scene back _slowly_." At his command, the footage rewound to just before Scarlett entered the scene. "I'm _embarrassed_," he said as the shot stopped moments before the impact. He scribbled over Scarlett with a pink marker, then did the same with his body save a circle around his face. "This is _terrible_, even _before_ I got hit! I mean, just look at me! Can we just please get a decent budget together for hair and make-up?! I might as well have already gotten rammed into! _Jeesh_!"

A few seconds of static, and the footage picked up where it had left off. "I mean, _seriously_?" Chris exclaimed. "You are _so_ out! Jo, you're up, and do better than she did!"

"No problem!" Jo said cockily, cracking both her knuckles and a smirk.

/

A lilting tune played behind a shot of a pink bird singing on a branch next to a very tired-looking squirrel. The squirrel looked over and went to slap the bird, but it dodged and pecked the rodent off of the branch and resumed singing. Transition over, the camera panned down to show Jo firmly on top of the moose, Chef standing ready at the gate.

"This'll be a _breeze_," the jock-ette boasted. "Unlike the Living Computer on the other team, _I'm_ not a pushover," she patted the moose on its head, "so don't make me _mad_!"

The moose took great offense to her remarks, his eyes going red and nostrils flaring. "Sweet Mother of-" was all Chef could get out before the bull moose busted straight through the gate, leaving the large man reeling in the dirt.

"Ahahahahaha, yeah!" Jo cried, holding firmly to her mount's antlers as it furiously tried to get rid of her. They went back and forth around the clearing being used, and even barreled through the other campers. Most of them yelled in panic and ran out of the way; Alejandro added a few rapid-fire curses in Spanish while Beardo laid on an imitated car horn and shook his fist angrily at his former ally.

"Sorry!" Jo called back insincerely, facing forwards again and giving the moose a quick pat on the head. "You'll have to better than that if you wanna shake _this_ girl!" The moose gave another angry snort.

The hectic background music was temporarily broken by a light classical piece as the marshmallow-loving bear from earlier in the episode was shown again, preparing to eat the food it had gathered. The mood was shattered by Jo and the moose charging through and trampling the pile of sweets. "Hah!" Jo laughed mockingly, encouraging the bruin to let loose a furious roar and chase after her.

"Ah, crap..." she muttered as she looked behind her. The scene cut back to the waiting campers, who quickly took notice of the girl's return and scattered once again.

/

The footage skipped ahead to a shot of a red all-terrain vehicle skidding to a halt. "Well, with _that_ taken care of," Chris said in an unamused tone, revealed to be the driver of the ATV, "it looks like the teams are tied up!" A smile came back to his face, and he resumed his usual demeanor as he continued. "Whoever wins the EXTREME SEADOO WATER SKI CHAL-LENGE," the shot zoomed out to show him and the campers – Jo looking particularly worse for wear - around the predesignated mud pit, "wins invincibility!"

A trumpet fanfare alerted the campers as Beardo strolled into the scene in his instrument-printed swim trunks. He walked in exaggerated slow-motion, and shot awkward finger pistols at the boys as he passed them by. All five of them gave him confused looks as the view point moved out and revealed that the hairy lad's slow motion wasn't an effect.

"I...think _I_ shall take responsibility for driving for our team," Alejandro said slowly as he watched Beardo walk past in exaggerated slowness.

Shawn, who was standing closest, shrugged. "It's all you, dude."

xxx

"Okay, so the teams are tied," Bridgette confessed. "B's gonna drive Beardo, and I'm skiing, so both of us have to pull through for us to win. No pressure!" She laughed nervously, then took a deep breath to steel herself. "But seriously, I've water skied before, this should be a _snap_."

xxx

"Excuse me a moment," Scarlett said, grabbing her teammate's arm as she walked past. Bridgette had already changed into her wetsuit, and was eying the course.

"What is it?" the surfer asked. "Come up with a good strategy?"

"I wouldn't put it like that," the redhead answered, "but I _do_ have some advice for you: try to ignore Alejandro. He's almost certainly going to attempt to distract you.

Bridgette looked over at the boy who was to drive her. He caught her looking and winked, causing her to blush and look away. "Good point. I'll keep my eyes on the flags."

/

The next scene showed Bridgette on the skis and holding the tow rope. The camera panned over to Alejandro on the ramshackle seadoo; he smiled back and her and said "Though you are on the other team, I wish you good luck!"

Bridgette blushed and averted her gaze as Chris drove slowly past on his ATV. "Here's the road rules." he announced. "Oh wait! There _are_ no rules! Which means, this is gonna be _awesome_!"

The footage flashed ahead to the start of the challenge. "Aaaaand...go!" Chris called with a wave of a flag, and Alejandro narrowed his eyes. He revved the engine and accelerated, nearly causing Bridgette to fall over; to his irritation, the experienced surfer was able to stay balanced with ease, though her legs did get splattered with mud.

The driver briefly looked back at his opponent before taking the seadoo over the first ramp; Bridgette quickly bent down and picked up the flag standing at the end.

"Flag One for Bass!" Chris announced via a pair of loudspeakers taped to the central totem pole by which the other teens waited. Geoff and B shared an excited high five as their teammate landed off the ramp and continued to be pulled along.

Alejandro frowned. "Has anyone ever told you how graceful you are in the water?" he called back over the roar of the engine. "Or mud, as it were?"

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" Bridgette yelled back, raising her head as she picked up another flag.

The charmer quickly looked forward to hide his scowl. He was approaching the bend, an decided to take the curve tight. It wasn't enough to shake Bridgette, however, as she leaned out to make up the difference and snatch another flag. "No!" Alejandro groaned, and the footage skipped ahead to show the blonde with several flags clutched in her hand.

"Four flags and counting!" Chris announced over the loudspeaker again before the scene cut from the non-competitors back to the host as he followed Alejandro and Bridgette from the shore. "Alejandro will be _disqualified_ if he doesn't cross the finish line, but when he does, Bridgette will all the flags she's gathered home for the Killer Bass!"

Alejandro grimaced, and the camera panned ahead first to one final flag, and then to the finish line.

xxx

"I wasn't about to cause our team to lose," Alejandro admitted in the confessional with a shrug, "so I did what needed to be done."

xxx

The handsome man took a breath, then swung himself around on the seadoo so he was facing backwards. "Bridgette!" he called out, slowly standing up and taking hold of the unbuttoned edges of his shirt, "I don't suppose I could tempt you with _this_?" Just as his blonde-haired foe was preparing to pick up the last flag, Alejandro bared his incredibly well-toned chest to her. For a moment, even the footage slowed down to focus on the teen's body, which had been given a golden aura to emphasize its perfection.

Bridgette's eyes went wide, and she shuddered. "I...," she flustered, "I...no! No, I have to ignore you!" She struggled to turn her gaze away but failed, and resorted to shielding her view with her free hand – and the flags. Damage had already been done, though, as she sped unwittingly past the final flag.

Alejandro looked disappointed by the outcome but a sudden jolt to the seadoo as it hit a small rock forced him to turn back around and regain control. Both he and Bridgette passed beneath the finish line.

"Despite a _brilliant_ display from Alejandro,"' Chris commented as he finished his own circuit around the mud pit, "Bridgette's managed to bring in four flags for her team!" The three other members of the Killer Bass congratulated their friend, Geoff even giving his crush an excited hug. "That means the Gophers will need to pick up all five if they wanna win!"

/

Some time later, Beardo and B had taken their positions for the final challenge. Beardo was looking confident, while the silent boy seemed more interested in the contents of his coat than anything else.

"Ready!" Chris began from nearby. "Set! Ride it like it's sweeps week! _Go_!"

The engine revved, and the seadoo took off. They quickly went over the first ramp, and Beardo made a short, triumphant blast from a horn as he snagged the first flag, then splashed down hard into the mud.

"Flag one!" Chris announced over the loudspeakers, and the Gophers cheered. "Flag two!" he added over another triumphant horn from Beardo, and the camera cut to the two boys coming up on the bend and third flag.

B narrowed his eyes and took a pocket knife out of his coat. With one hand steering the seadoo, he reached the other one back and began cutting through the tow line. Beardo let out a series of alarmed dings and began to pull himself closer to the seadoo. The footage slowed down as they reached the curve; the fraying portion of the tow line was shown in a close-up, its fibers snapping one by one thanks to B's knife. Shortly after the middle of the curve the footage sped up again, the line snapped, and Beardo was sent flying out of the mud pit with a scream.

"Looks like Beardo's been cut loose!" Chris exclaimed. "All B has left to do is cross the finish line!"

B smirked, twirled his knife a few times, and stowed it back in his coat. He piloted the seadoo across the banner without an issue, bringing it to a stop on land just in front of his team.

"Well, _that_ was anticlimactic," the host said to himself as he brought his ATV to a rolling stop on the shore.

"Bass win!" came Chris' voice over the loudspeakers for a final time. Geoff, Bridgette, and even Scarlett smiled widely and looked over at their prize, the truck and trailer sparkling in the sunlight.

"You rock, dude!" Geoff cheered as B rejoined his team.

"That was _amazing_!" Bridgette added, hugging the big guy around the neck.

Scarlett crossed her arms and smirked. "Simple, but effective. Excellent work, B."

The camera cut over to the Gophers. "Dude, you gonna be alright?" DJ called out to Beardo, who was still lying on the ground. He shot a thumbs up, but groaned and flopped his arm back down.

DJ winced, but Jo snorted. "Just leave him, _he's_ the reason we lost."

Alejandro sighed. "Looks like I won't be getting that shower after all."

xxx

"Showers are overrated," Shawn confessed dismissively. "They only make you smell better to the _living_! You wanna fool the undead, you need to _stink_." He smelled his left armpit, then watched in shock as a fly got too close and dropped out of the air.

xxx

The scene cut back to outside the communal bathroom, the host walking into view from the right. "The Gophers have been left out in the open, and must now decide who to leave behind, while the Bass totally scored some much-needed showers." He turned his head as the camera panned left, showing Bridgette and Scarlett leaving the steaming shower truck in bathrobes and towels.

"Looks like it's our turn, brah!" Geoff told B, bumping fists and jogging into the trailer.

/

"Hey Al, we still down for votin' off Jo tonight?" Beardo asked. The two boys were alone in their side of the Gopher cabin as the hairier one changed back into his usual attire and the prettier one performed post-challenge personal maintenance.

"Certainly!" Alejandro answered, smile masking his slight facial twitch. "And don't worry about the other votes, I'll take care of that myself. I'll persuade those still on the fence to vote for Jo, have no doubt."

"Thanks, man!" Beardo said with a smile. "I knew I could count on you!"

The charmer smiled back. "I assure you, it is no problem. I'll see you later, amigo." Alejandro left his teammate to his business, and exited to the common area. As soon as he stepped off the porch, he was grabbed by Jo and pulled around the corner of the cabin.

"We're voting the Human Soundboard off tonight, got it?" she whispered gruffly.

"But of course!" Alejandro answered. "I was about to seek you out myself to ask if there was anyone else you wanted to talk to before hand, to secure the other votes we'll need!"

"Hmm," Jo thought, "good call. Almost makes up for your failure to knock out Malibu Bridgette. If you can get those votes yourself, then _maybe_ I'll let you off the hook."

Alejandro sighed. "Very well." As soon as Jo left, a devilish smile formed on his face.

/

"So anyway," DJ told the girls sitting at the picnic table across from him, "that's when I-"

"Hello my friends!" came a familiar voice, the camera panning over to catch Alejandro approaching the trio. "Sorry for intruding upon your conversation, but I wanted to discuss tonight's elimination with you."

DJ and Sammy looked at each other and raised their eyebrows, while Dawn became suddenly anxious. "Well, I suppose we _do_ owe you one for helping to eliminate Amy..." the mystic said quietly.

"Oh yeah," Sammy said, "I never really thanked you for that, did I?"

"It was nothing!" Alejandro said with a wave of his hand. "I was _happy_ to help, and even happier to accept Dawn's gracious offer!"

"So, who you want us to vote for?" DJ asked.

"Simple," Alejandro told them as he took a seat at their table. "I would like the three of you to vote for..."

The scene faded to black before the charmer finished his sentence.

/

The Campfire Ceremony began as it typically did, with the losing team seated on the stumps and the host in possession of a plate of marshmallows. "As you know," Chris opened, "if you do not receive a marshmallow you will be forced to walk the Dock of Shame, and you can never, ever return to Camp." The camera passed over the largely tired Gophers, lingering on Beardo and Jo as they glared at one another before cutting back to the handsome host's close-up.

He reached for a pair of marshmallows off the plate which had been placed atop the podium. "Sammy and DJ, you're safe!" The two friends smiled at each other and went up to claim their prizes. "Shawn and Dawn, same goes for you." Both campers quickly darted off-screen and returned with marshmallows in hand.

"Alejandro, you too are not going home tonight," Chris said, tossing the penultimate treat across the campfire. It was caught easily, but the young man declined to eat it.

"Okay!" the host continued cheerily. "That leaves Beardo, who failed due to B's coat of tools," the hairy lad made a 'sad trombone' sound effect, "and Jo, who's basically been a pain in everyone's butt all season."

"Hey, I'm here to _win_," the girl said to her team, "not make friends. If you can't handle that, that's _your_ problem, not mine."

"Yeah, well," Chris said, "it looks like you have once _again_ dodged the bullet. You're safe."

"_What_?!" Beardo exclaimed, standing in alarm.

"Yes, I know these things can be a shock," the host told him, ushering the boy away from the campfire pit.

xxx

"I know Alejandro and Dawn want me to vote for Beardo," DJ confessed, "but I can't just blindside a brother like that. Sorry, but I'm votin' for Jo." He stuck the ballot he was holding into a wooden box.

xxx

"Well," Sammy said hesitantly in her turn at voting that night, "I _do_ owe Alejandro for helping get rid of my sister, so I guess I'm voting for Beardo. Nothing personal, though!"

xxx

Alejandro was the next shown in the confessional. "Despite his recent trend of _defiling_ my name," he explained, "my vote for Beardo is purely strategic. With so few of us left in the game, the teams are likely to be dissolved any day now! And once that happens, Jo's abrasiveness will be a useful tool. So nothing personal." He held his neutral expression for a moment more before bursting out into raucous laughter.

xxx

The hairy young man began a funeral dirge as he walked down towards the docks. He stopped to look back, and saw that the remaining Gophers had come to see him off, and even the Bass had decided to join in. "Well, it was really nice to meet all of you," he told them. "Well, _most_ of you anyway. Catch you all later."

Jo scowled and rolled her eyes, then Alejandro stepped forward to accompany the young man down the Dock of Shame.

"Man, I guess you weren't able to convince the others to vote for Jo, were you?" Beardo muttered.

"Yes, it is such a shame," Alejandro answered him. "It seems there just weren't enough people who were on your side tonight!"

"I thought for sure that DJ and the other girls would vote for Jo," the scruffy teen lamented, "but I guess I was wrong." He sighed, then imitated the sound of a particularly well-known 1980s video game character's death

"If it's any consolation," the charmer told him as they reached the end of the dock and Beardo hopped on to the Boat of Losers, "they probably _would_ have voted for Jo had I not asked them to vote for you instead."

Beardo's eyes immediately went wide, and he began a series of shocked bells, whistles, and sirens. Chef snickered from his place aboard the boat, quickly sailing off before his angry passenger could retaliate. Back at the dock, Alejandro waved him off with a dark grin.

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

**Author's Note - Post Script**

And that concludes the first half of Season One! I hope you all enjoyed it. I knew I'd have to cut the love letter subplot from the beginning, as it doesn't really make sense for anyone but Harold to do - and obviously, he's not around. Plus, I really wanted to explain why the Gophers decided to vote Beardo out, so cutting the unexpected shipping gave me the time I needed.

As for why I decided to have Beardo eliminated here...well, to be honest, back when I was planning the eliminations, I really wanted the pre-merge numbers to be the same as in canon. Which is to say, a 4-6 split between the Killer Bass and the Screaming Gophers, as well as an even number of girls and boys for the next challenge. That meant I needed to get rid of a Gopher boy, and I wasn't willing to drop Alejandro, DJ, or Shawn quite yet. As much as I've liked exploring Beardo's character, that meant he needed to go.

Granted, I probably could have moved things around a bit more so that someone else got voted out instead and still managed to keep the same overall ratios, but honestly I think this works for my purposes. I'm quite happy about who's going in to the merge - Bridgette, Scarlett, Dawn, Sammy, and Jo for the girls; Alejandro, DJ, Shawn, Geoff, and B for the boys. And of course, the people I'm bringing back for the merge...

Well, that's still a chapter away for you readers. For me, it begins on the 25th...

Until next time!

- Fangren

* * *

**Appendix: TSI Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (22nd Place)

Dakota - (21st Place)

Ezekiel - (20th Place)

Sugar - (19th Place)

Lightning - (18th Place)

Amy - (17th Place)

Scott - (16th Place)

Beth - (15th Place)

Sierra - (14th Place)

Topher - (13th Place)

Sam - (12th Place)

Beardo - (11th Place)


	14. Chapter 14 - Brunch of Disgustingness

**Author's Note**

Here we are, the start of the second half of Total Shuffled Island! Hard to believe I'm already here, and there's still so much left to come. At any rate, the merge chapter was easier to write than I had expected, and I just know that people will love it. In other news, the much-delayed work on my part of the house is finally coming to a close, which is a welcome change even if it _did_ interfere slightly with my schedule today.

But enough of that, on to the reviews!

**TotalCyborgPineappleIsland2 and Sleep Arypsure:** I'm glad you've enjoyed the direction I decided to take Beardo in! he's definitely been an interesting one for me to write, given how little information we actually have about him in canon.

**Anonymous:** Sorry, but I'm afraid you'll have to wait until next week-ish to find out who returns for the merge when that chapter comes out.

**bruno14:** Thanks!

**Knifez:** Good to hear you're still interested in my story (though it looks like your review got a bit out-of-order), and it's nice to see your opinions on the remaining campers, how I've portrayed them, and what you expect from them. As for your question, I will indeed be doing TDROTI, TDAS, and TDPI with the remaining characters. I figured out who was going to show up for Revenge and Pahkitew in the initial contestant randomization, and decided on the All-Stars shortly after. Those seasons should be...interesting, to say the least, and definitely different than their canon counterparts.

**Madison Wooten:** Yup! Looks like nobody took you up on your bet though.

**acosta perez jose ramiro:** Thanks, and true, although since I'm the one writing the challenges I could technically have just made Jo lose her bit and get voted off instead - it just wasn't how I wanted this series to progress.

**Star Saber21:** Yeah, that's definitely something I've been trying to do with Alejandro, although I haven't really been able to set up such a reveal before now.

**Cole D. soul:** Glad to hear it! I also really like those five, though not strictly for the same reasons as you. Still, thanks as always for reviewing!

As requested, here are the remaining contestants as of the beginning of the chapter:

Killer Bass - B, Bridgette, Geoff, Scarlett

Screaming Gophers - Alejandro, Dawn, DJ, Jo, Sammy, Shawn

Well folks, hold on to your stomachs because here comes the eating challenge!

- Fangren

* * *

**Episode 14 – Brunch of Disgustingness**

"Last time, on Total Drama Island! Jo and Beardo each formed an alliance to get rid of each other with the _same_ person," the host opened over a clip of the two Gophers' dealings with their handsome teammate. "DJ and Geoff took to the skies, but neither landed _quite_ as planned." The second set of clips showed the two boys jumping from the plane for the challenge, with the party-lover hitting his target but then getting crushed while the gentle giant drifted away from his arguing team.

"Jo proved how tough she was by hanging on during the moose ride," the jock-ette's rodeo ride was shown briefly, "and then some," as were her encounter with the bear. "Alejandro turned his charms on Bridgette," the teen's bare chest was followed by both crossing the finish line, "but was unable to stop B from cutting Beardo loose," the loss of the Gophers was replayed, "and when it was time to cast the votes, it was _Beardo_ who ended up getting blindsided by his team." The final scenes of the recap covered Alejandro's talk with Dawn and Sammy, the hairy boy's surprise elimination, and Alejandro's revelation of betrayal at the end of the dock.

The scene cut to a close-up of Chris, quickly zooming out to show him at the docks as per usual. "And now, let's see what's in store for our campers on this week's episode of Total! Drama! Island!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

_Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

_You guys are on my mind!_

_Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

_And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

_I wanna be...famous!_

_I wanna live close to the sun!_

_Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

_Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

_I'll get there one day._

_'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

_(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

A flock of geese flew in formation across the sky, the sun just barely the height of the hills in the background. A cut to the mess hall showed Chris and Chef waiting smugly at the entrance as the Gophers filed inside.

"Yo, where's the food at?" DJ asked as he entered behind Jo and Alejandro.

"Hey, don't worry about it!" Chris told him. "You'll get plenty of food later on, so just sit tight." His hulking assistant began to snicker quietly, the host joining in as the rest of the Screaming Gophers walked by.

"What's so funny, dude?" Geoff asked, the first of the Bass to arrive. "I miss a joke or what?" His confusion caused another fit of stifled laughter from the two adults, prompting the boy to shrug and go on his way. Bridgette came in on his tail, joined by Scarlett and B to round out the Killer Bass.

"Congratulations to the remaining ten campers for reaching the half-way mark in the competition," Chris announced, still holding back a few chuckles. "You'll all be on the jury for the final episode."

Scarlett adjusted her glasses as the boys on her team exchanged a high five. "Excellent," she remarked, "it's about time."

"The two teams will become _one_ next week," the host continued, "but first! All the girls will be moved to the Gopher cabin," the viewpoint shifted to show Bridgette and Scarlett glancing across the room at Jo, Dawn, and Sammy, "and all the guys will stay in the Bass cabin." The camera panned a foot past Bridgette's head to show DJ, Alejandro, and Shawn shooting looks of mild surprise at Geoff and B.

"This week's challenge is as old as history itself," Chris explained with a dark look, "a battle of the sexes!" Alejandro sent a wink across the room, causing Scarlett to scowl. "After everyone is settled in, I'll announce the challenge. And then," the host said with a flash of excitement, "you'll have a, uh, bite to..._eat_..." Another bout of chuckling from the two staff members earned suspicious looks from both teams.

"Ready for a little good news? This week, no one will be kicked off!" Chris announced to the cheers of the ten campers. "It's all for reward, and it's a _good_ one. Okay," he clapped as the teens stood up, "time to relocate! Let's move!"

As the campers left off-screen, Chris and Chef shared another glance and snickered for a fourth time.

/

The camera focused in on Bridgette as the campers walked back to the cabins. She shared a smile with Geoff as he and B walked by, then Scarlett matched pace with her.

"Is it safe to assume we'll be sticking together from now on?" she asked quickly. "Because although I _am_ willing to work with the other girls for this challenge, I don't know very them well, and as such I'm not ready to trust them to the same degree to which I trust you."

"Well yeah," Bridgette answered, "I don't see any reason for us to stop being friends just because of this. And besides, the other girls can't be _that_ bad, can they?"

At that moment, Jo approached them from behind. "Ladies!" she began, putting an arm around each of the former Bass. "I hope you two are prepared to do what it takes to win, because I'm not gonna tolerate any _weakness_ on _my_ team!" She didn't wait for an answer, merely patting them hard on the back and rushing ahead.

"...well, except maybe Jo," Bridgette said with a smile.

/

The footage skipped ahead to the Bass girls taking a final leave of their former cabin. Scarlett left first with her bag, and as Bridgette made to leave a few moments later she accidentally bumped into Geoff.

"Whoa, sorry about that!" the fun-lover said, taking a step forward as his crush stepped back. "Just wanted to say," he began, putting a hand on his neck, "y'know, it was real nice bein' on the same team as you, and workin' together on stuff."

"Yeah," the surfer answered shyly, "I'm glad we got to know each other as much as we did."

"Yeah, me too!" Geoff said. "Oh! S-sorry, you go."

"Because I..." Bridgette said. "Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off..."

They paused and smiled at one another, and leaned in. The sweet-sounding background music which had covered the blondes' shared moment came to a sudden and screeching halt as Chris popped in through the open door and snatched Bridgette away by the arm. "Big day ahead of us!"

"I'll miss you..." Geoff muttered to himself before feeling a hand on his shoulder.

"Do not fret, amigo," Alejandro told him. "The two of you shall see each other again soon. For now, though," his smile faded into a more imploring look, "where can I put my things?"

/

Bridgette was shown walking across the common area, a few yards behind Scarlett. The blonde lingered a few moments on the steps of her new cabin, looking at the open door with hesitance.

xxx

"Okay, so I _was_ kind of worried," Bridgette confessed. "I mean, I don't buy into the idea that guys get along better than girls do, but Jo _does_ seem hard to get along with even if the others have been pretty nice. But hey, at least I know I can count on Scarlett!"

xxx

"Excuse me," came the familiar voice of the redheaded brainiac, "but could you please remove what appears to be your dirty laundry and other assorted belongings from the three spare beds? We'll be sleeping in two of them."

"Yeah, just toss 'em over, I'll put 'em away," Jo replied, not moving an inch from her top bunk.

"Umm, no," Scarlett told her. "If they belong to you, then they're _your_ responsibility. Nobody should have to pick up after you if you aren't willing to do so yourself."

"What's the big deal?" the jock-ette scoffed. "It's just some dirty clothes and underwear, it's not like anybody was _using_ those beds."

"Err, is there something wrong?" Bridgette asked, drawing the other girls' attention to her.

"Yes," Scarlett answered her long-time teammate immediately, "Jo has failed to keep her belongings to a confined area, and refuses to clear them to give us the space we need."

"Who cares?!" Jo protested. "They weren't being _used_ until a few minutes ago!"

"Yes," Scarlett countered, "but you've had already had several minutes you could have used to pick up your things. And you two," she turned her gaze towards Dawn and Sammy, "should have told her to take responsibility for her things instead of letting it fall on _me_."

"Well," the cheerleader explained apologetically, "Jo's _never_ done what we ask her to before, so..."

"Oh yes," Dawn added, casting a wary and unflinching look at her new roommates, "Jo has had issues with taking orders and admitting to being wrong ever since she was a child."

"Hey, can it with the aura crap!" Jo yelled at the smaller young woman, who never turned her head away from Scarlett.

"Okay, let's all calm down here," Bridgette said, stepping into the room with arms spread. "We're a _team_, so we need to work _together_. Jo, how would you feel if it _you_ had to clean someone else's laundry off your new bed?"

Jo opened her mouth to speak, but closed it after a moment and scowled. "_Fine_," she grunted, hopping down from her top bunk, "if you two are gonna be too _lazy_, I guess I'll do it myself..."

"Thank you," Bridgette said as the jock-ette picked up the scattered belongings from the empty set of beds. "That wasn't so bad! I'm sure we're getting along _just_ as well as the guys are!"

/

The scene cut over to the former Bass cabin, where the sounds of music and laughter could be heard from inside. A pair of glasses clinked together, the camera pulling back to show them in the hands of Geoff and Alejandro.

"Rock that soda pop, brotha!" DJ said happily as he and B danced by a modified turntable and Shawn stood awkwardly nearby.

Alejandro took a sip of his drink and smiled. "Not my _usual_ fare, but-"

He was cut off by his new teammate downing his own glass and unleashing a belch so mighty that it shook the cabin, and was even felt far enough outside that branches fell from trees and a pair of squirrels ran scared. Geoff cleared his throat and gave a cocky smile at the other boys, all of whom were wide-eyed with shock.

"Dude, that was somethin' _else_!" DJ told him.

"...yes, it was," Alejandro agreed after a second, "although I would prefer it if you refrained from doing that again. No offense, of course."

"None taken, dude!" Geoff said, patting the boy on the shoulder. "Gotta keep that power under control, I get it. Don't wanna scare the girls _too_ bad before we beat 'em."

"...yes, that is _exactly_ what I meant," the charmer quickly covered.

"Okay," Shawn piped up, "if it weren't for the very real chance of that _raising the dead_, I'd probably be impressed. Where did you learn to _do_ that?"

Geoff grinned. "It was my big bro. He taught me how to belch almost as good as he can! Too bad I never got the hang of all the _tricks_ he could do, though."

"Yes, it is truly a _shame_," Alejandro said to himself.

/

"Excuse me," Scarlett asked, pausing as she put away her things to look over at Dawn, "but could you _please_ explain why you're staring at me?"

"I'm just looking at your aura," Dawn stated with an uncharacteristic edge to her voice. "It's very-"

Before the mystic could finish her sentence, Scarlett had dashed forward and placed a hand over the blonde's mouth. "Regardless of what you may or may not know about me," she said harshly, "I ask that you respect my privacy and refrain from revealing it to the others. I'd rather my personal information remain undisclosed until a time of _my_ choice, thank you." Dawn said nothing. The two girls locked eyes in a split-screen shot that lasted a few moments before the blonde huffed and looked away.

"Huh, it actually worked!" Jo exclaimed in mild delight. "Why didn't _I_ think of doing that?"

"Agreed," Scarlett said, "you _should_ have. I had thought anyone who cared about their privacy would have put a stop to such behavior earlier, but once again it seems my expectations have been set too high."

Jo frowned. "Hey, what's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Whoa, okay there," Bridgette said, getting between her teammates once again. "We have our differences, but there's nothing we can't work out once we get to know each other. Scarlett's really nice once you get to know her," she explained to the former Gophers before turning to face her longest friend, "and I'm sure Dawn only does what she thinks is best."

"Thank you for the compliment," Scarlett told her, "but I'm afraid her 'doing what she thinks is best' is no excuse for violating another person's privacy without their permission. How would you feel if she had divulged _your_ secrets?"

"But I _don't_ reveal other people's secrets," Dawn protested, "I only try to explain to people why they are the way they are!"

Scarlett crossed her arms. "Be that as it may, it still shouldn't be done without _permission_. Right, Bridgette?"

"Err...," the blonde began, "yeah, I guess? I mean, I think it would be pretty cool to learn more about myself, but I can see why you don't like it."

"You know," Dawn told her, "if you'd like, I can read your aura later, after the challenge."

"Thanks, Dawn, I'd like that!" Bridgette smiled. "I'm glad we worked that out, we'll be beating the guys in no time!"

"Yeah," Jo said, motioning to the blonde trio, "as long as _you_ three don't let the guys _distract_ you!"

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Bridgette said in offense. To the side, in the bed beneath Dawn, Sammy sighed sadly.

/

The footage cut to a brief shot of the dining hall, before showing the ten campers standing in front of a clipboard-holding Chris. "It's time," he announced as the viewpoint rotated to his front, showing Chef standing beside him, "for today's challenge!"

"Uh, are we gonna get something to eat anytime soon?" Shawn immediately raised a hand to interrupt.

The two grown men snickered to each other once again, earning annoyed looks from the campers. "I guess we should tell them," Chris told his assistant, "today's challenge is...the _Brunch_ of _Disgustingness_!" Dramatic music played as the camera zoomed in on the grinning host.

"You'll be getting a nine course meal," he explained as the shot panned across five covered plates on each of the two tables. "Each member of each team _must_ finish each dish." The campers looked at their companions with worry. "You will not know if the next dish is _grosser_ than the last, _not_ as gross or _just_ as gross!" Chris milked each word, both he and his assistant reveling in what was to come. "Just, that it will likely be, _gross_."

"Tell them what they'll get if they win, Chris!" Chef said excitedly, his lines accompanied by a game show jingle.

"The winning team," Chris obliged, "spends two days at a local 5-star resort where," an image of a black woman lying chest-down and getting a massage appeared in the bottom-right corner, "they'll be pampered, eat gourmet nosh," a picture of a white woman dangling a shrimp above her open mouth appeared in the upper-left corner, "_and_ be given antibiotics against anything they may have caught while participating in this challenge!" The Upper-right and lower-left corners each gained pictures as well; the former showing a frowning white man in a hospital gown about to receive an injection in his buttocks, while the latter merely showed a picturesque sunset at a beach, complete with palm trees.

The pictures faded and were replaced by Chris again, fake sadness in his voice and mannerisms. "The losing team will go hungry tonight, and spend the next two days _here_, on Total Drama Island, with Chef." He pointed to the large man, who adopted a wild and sadistic grin and waved at the terrified campers.

"An eating contest? No problem!" Jo boasted. "No _way_ we can lose!"

xxx

Alejandro opened his confessional with a sigh. "I have been dreading a challenge such as this. You see, my body is my temple, and no temple keeper would dare contaminate _this_." He tore open his shirt to reveal his bare chest, flexing his pectorals and waggling his eyebrows at the camera.

xxx

The static transitioned into a shot of all ten campers in their seats, the girls at the former Gopher table and the guys at what had belonged to the Bass. "Well boys," Jo called, getting Geoff and the others to look over, "I hope you like the taste of defeat, 'cause that's _all _that'll be left once this is over!"

"Yeah, well," Shawn countered, "I've been training to survive a zombie apocalypse my whole life, I can handle things _way_ worse than a disgusting food challenge!"

"Let's begin the challenge!" Chris said eagerly. "First, some hors d'oeuvres!" He motioned forwards, and Chef lifted the covers off the plates in front of Shawn and DJ. Under each was a pile of grayish-brown lumps of meat, shaped like short and thick sausages.

"What are these, some kinda meatballs?" the survivalist asked, picking one up and pinching it between two fingers.

"Sort of," Chris told him, "if you wanna be technical about it. But these are a bit _special_."

The camera quick-panned over to Chef, who held up one with a smile. "It's beef testicle, bourguignon."

A shot of a bull crying on the ground with its forelegs over its eyes was shown briefly before cutting back to Shawn, who looked suddenly alarmed at what he was holding.

"_Testicles_?!" Alejandro said next to him, looking ready to vomit.

Bridgette, Dawn, and Sammy were shown looking disgusted at the first course as well, the camera pulling back to put the girls in the background with B and Geoff in the foreground. "I don't know if I can do this to my bovine brother," the party-lover sighed as he held up one of his own 'appetizers'. B nodded his agreement.

On the other side of their table, Alejandro grimaced as he brought one of the testicles close to his face; Shawn hesitantly started eating one, and DJ shed a single tear. "It's the hardest thing a man can do," Chris said sadly.

xxx

Jo began her confessional with raucous laughter. "This! This is the greatest thing that's happened to me all season! This is gonna be even _easier_ than I thought!"

xxx

The footage cut back to Jo happily popping the testicles into her mouth like they were potato chips. "Hey," she said loudly and with a devilish look, "these aren't half bad! It's almost unbelieva-_bull_!" She chuckled at her own pun, and continued eating.

"Agreed," Scarlett said next to her. "While it certainly isn't something I'm used to, that's primarily due to cultural biases. As I recall," she said as she started to chew another piece, "they're actually quite _common_ in several culinary traditions."

"Well," Sammy said with a forced and entirely uncertain smile, "that's...good to know..." She winced as she took a bite.

The four more squeamish boys whimpered and looked at their plates again. "Oh come on," Shawn told them, "are you just gonna let them win like this! Yeah, it's kinda gross, but it could be worse! These could be _human_ testicles!" Geoff and B shared a look, and tentatively began to eat.

"You two!" Jo barked at Bridgette and Dawn, neither of whom had touched their plates. "Get eating already!"

"But I'm a _vegetarian_!" Bridgette lamented.

"So am I!" added Dawn.

"Who cares?!" Jo told them. "Just _eat_ the darn things!" As the jock-ette berated her teammates, Geoff looked over his shoulder and frowned.

xxx

"I just felt so bad!" he confessed in private with a shrug. "I _had_ to help her!"

xxx

The boy took a seat next to his former teammate; she looked surprised but not entirely pleased. Next to her, Dawn shot the party-lover a skeptical glance. "It's not that big a deal," he whispered to her, struggling to find the words to say. "Sometimes, uh, they castrate bulls...humanely!"

"Get movin', cowboy!" Jo barked at him. "Nobody here needs your _pity_."

xxx

"It was sweet of him to help," Bridgette admitted in a less-than-enthused tone, "but I'm gonna have to do this on my own if I want Jo to take me seriously."

xxx

The two animal-loving young women sighed. "Sorry, noble creature..." Dawn whispered as she and Bridgette began to eat.

Over at the guys' table, only Shawn was shown to have eaten most of his plate. Alejandro could barely stand to touch one of the testicles with his tongue, and DJ spat out a partially-chewed piece into a napkin. "I'm sorry, amigos," Alejandro said sadly, "but I simply cannot do it!"

"Well," Chris announced, "looks like the guys lost this round! The first challenge goes to the female campers!" A scoreboard appeared at the top of the screen, the left box with a pink 'woman' icon typically used for restrooms, and the right box having the blue-colored counterpart. The girls' side dinged to 1, and the five cheered.

Geoff waved at Bridgette, who smiled back. "I hope you realize that you cost us this round, amigo," Alejandro said with a frown.

"Hey, it's _my_ business who I talk to," Geoff protested. "And besides, it's not like _you_ were eating anything."

"Yes," the handsome boy admitted, "but neither was DJ, and more importantly, neither were Dawn or Bridgette until _you_ went over there and talked to them."

"_Seriously_?!" Shawn added in frustration. "_Both_ of you-"

He was cut off by a whistle from Chris. "Are we here to _argue_," he told them, "or are we here to eat a series of revolting meals!"

Geoff rubbed the back of his head, Alejandro looked down, and Shawn sighed. "Yeah, okay," he said.

"Fine," the party-lover added.

"Very well..." Alejandro finished, the three extending their hands.

xxx

"I'm disappointed they made up so quickly," Jo said in the outhouse, scratching her chin in thought. "It's probably just for show to hide their _weakness_."

xxx

"Score now stands at one for the girls, and zero for the guys," Chris announced. "And now, the next course in the Brunch of Disgustingness!" He motioned to the side, and Chef wheeled out a cart with another covered plate. "You guys like pizza?" the host asked with a grin.

"That doesn't sound too bad..." Sammy told the other girls.

"Depends," Jo told both the cheerleader and the host, "what's on it?"

"I'm glad you asked!" Chris said, rubbing his hands together. The view moved over to Chef as he slowly lifted the cover. "You'll be having live grasshopper pizza with tangy jellyfish sauce and live anchovies!" the host said excitedly, the camera focusing on the dish. It was as the host said, an otherwise ordinary-looking pizza base with jellyfish, grasshoppers, and anchovies as toppings; the latter two were still moving around.

"_Live_ grasshoppers and anchovies?" Dawn whimpered, earning unimpressed looks from Jo and Scarlett.

At the guy table, Shawn merely shrugged and accepted the plate Chef handed to him. Alejandro grimaced in disgust as he got his plate, and the camera cut back to the girls.

"Start eating, ladies," Jo told the three sitting across from her, "or do I need to _make_ you?" She took a large bite out of her own slice – including one of the insects – and quickly swallowed it.

"Excuse me," Scarlett beckoned towards the host, "are we allowed to _kill_ the grasshoppers and anchovies before eating them?"

Chris raised an eyebrow before answering. "No, they have to be _alive_ when they're eaten or it wouldn't be much of a challenge."

The redhead frowned, and stared down at her slice. "Very well." She took a deep breath, then took a bite. As Jo had, Scarlett took a grasshopper down in the first go, though the brainiac shuddered as she swallowed.

The jock-ette smiled, then looked over at the rest of her team. "Okay, who's next?"

xxx

"I've had to eat a lot of really gross things before," Sammy said, rubbing her arm and looking down in embarrassment, "mostly because _Amy_ forced me to. A couple of live fish and bugs shouldn't be _too_ bad, right? I mean, they're pretty _small_, and I don't wanna let everyone down..."

xxx

She closed her eyes and took a small bite of the pizza, getting a bit of jellyfish but nothing else meant to nauseate. "Good," Jo told her, "now keep it up so we can win this round."

The shot cut over to the boys, showing Shawn to have nearly finished his slice. "You know," he said after a swallow, "this really isn't that bad."

"Yeah," Geoff agreed, "at least, once you get the squirmy bits down."

Back with the girls once more, Bridgette was holding her slice close to her mouth, and looked thoroughly disgusted. "I really don't like the idea of eating live fish," she said, "but I guess I've come this far, no going back now!" She closed her eyes and took a quick bite.

Meanwhile, DJ and B were also doing the deed for their team. The broader boy had opted to roll his slice up so that the living things were somewhat hidden from sight before tried to eat, and after seeing B's success DJ decided to mimic it.

"Still pretty gross," he said, "but at least I'm doin' it. Good idea, dude." The two boys bumped fists across the table.

"Just one left," Shawn said with a look at Alejandro. The camera zoomed in on the intact slice still on his plate, then quick-panned over to show a similar situation with Dawn.

"Well," Jo told her, "are you gonna eat it, or am I gonna have to _make_ you eat it?"

The animal-lover's eyes widened, and she shook her head frantically. "Oh no, I simply _can't_ eat this! Most of it is still _alive_!"

"Wrong answer!" the jock-ette barked, jumping over the table and grabbing Dawn's plate. "Now hold still so I can feed this to you!" The small blonde squealed and ducked away.

"Quick, grab him!" Shawn cried after seeing the commotion on the other side of the room.

"Gentlemen, be reasonable!" Alejandro implored, raising his hands defensively as the other boys stood up. As they closed in on him grinning, he tried to get away. He moved too late, DJ and Geoff managed to grab both of his arms.

"B! The pizza!" Shawn cried as he pinned the taller young man's legs. Swiftly, B rolled up the final slice of their pizza and forced it into Alejandro's mouth.

"Just keep chewing, buddy, and it'll all be over soon!" Shawn said as tears began to form around the bound boy's eyes. Eventually, Alejandro swallowed and was let go. "Sorry about that dude," the survivalist told him, "but now's really not the _time_ for weak stomachs.

"I-" was all the handsome boy got out before he had to close his mouth. Cheeks bulging, he ran out of the hall; the camera followed him to a cluster of bushes where he threw up.

xxx

Alejandro shuddered. "Mark my words, they will _pay_ for this," he vowed angrily. "Even though it was for a desperately needed spa trip, they will _pay_." His stomach rumbled and groaned, and the camera cut outside in discretion as the sounds of him vomiting filled the air. A raccoon and a couple squirrels who had been nearby ran away from the outhouse in fright.

xxx

Back inside, Dawn was repeatedly evading Jo's own attempts at force-feeding. The other three girls remained seated as their two teammates ran around the room, apparently unwilling to act. "I told you," Dawn cried in protest, "I won't eat!"

"Well, too bad!" Jo shot back. The two continued to run for a few more seconds until Alejandro walked back into the room, groaning and holding his stomach.

"Well then," Chris announced with a smile, "it looks like the winners of this round are the guys!" The scoreboard reappeared and updated, leading Jo and Dawn to stop in their tracks. The former scowled and threw the slice of pizza on the floor, while the latter breathed a sigh of relief and walked back to the table. The guys cheered, Geoff and DJ even patting Alejandro on the back as he sat back down with them.

"Hey, at least we won the round!" Geoff told him happily. Alejandro tried to say something, then shuddered.

xxx

"I was excited about the next dish," Chef Hatchet said in a surprise confessional. "I made it from _scratch_." As he spoke, a devilish smile formed on his lips, and he started to scratch the right side of his body.

xxx

"Alright!" Chris said happily. "Who's ready for the third course?" The point-of-view shifted so it was level with Geoff's plate as Chef lifted the cover off of it. "_Spaghetti_!" the host announced, but what laid on the plate was only superficially similar to the popular Italian dish. As B and Geoff grimaced at their next meal, Chris continued his explanation. "Well, _actually_, earthworms covered in snail slime sauce, and _hairballs_."

"I don't know if I can take much more of this guys..." Geoff said, voice rising as he began to panic.

"Do we gotta hold you down and force you like Alejandro?" DJ asked him, leaning forward and pointing from one guy to the other. Alejandro's eyes widened at the reminder of what had happened.

"No...no, I can do this...," Geoff replied, "just...just give me a minute."

At the girls' table, Jo sniffed a forkful of worms then stuck out her tongue in disgust. "Uggh...I assume Fairy Girl isn't gonna eat this pathetic excuse for a third course either?" Dawn shook her head. Jo scowled. "In that case, no point in any of _us_ eating if we're just going to lose anyway. But you'd _better_ eat everything else, got it?"

"As long as it isn't alive," Dawn told her, "then I will do my best to force down whatever we are served."

The boys were shown again, having donned blindfolds and clothespins over their noses to assist in their eating. "I think we're done here!" Shawn called, raising his plate – and the plate of Alejandro, sitting next to him and trembling.

"Well, since the girls have chickened out," Chris announced with a tinge of annoyance, "the winners are the guys!" The cheers of three young men could be heard as the scoreboard updated once again to show their 2-1 lead.

"Alright maggots, time to toughen up," Jo said. "We're _all_ gonna be eating this, so I don't wanna hear any complaints!"

"Yeah," Bridgette added in an enthusiastic and optimistic tone, "let's show 'em some girl power! We can _do_ this!"

"As long as we can figure out how to mitigate the grossness of each dish," Scarlett said, "we should have an advantage over the boys."

Sammy sighed, but smiled. "You're probably right."

"Alright, everybody!" Chris called, gaining the girls' attention. "Time for course number four! No nine-course meal would be complete without soup," he said as the shot switched to Chef lifting another pair of covers off the plates of Shawn and DJ. Ominously, the two bowls of soup had flies buzzing around them.

"Today's special is," the host explained over a close-up of one bowl; the bubbling broth was a sickly green color, and there were nail clippings, hairs, and several other unidentified things floating at the surface. "French _bunion_ soup, with hangnail crackers."

xxx

"Oh come _on_!" Alejandro complained loudly. "Not only is this a mockery of _real_ food, but it's a lazy one too! They just took whatever was laying around Chef's dirty _bathroom_!"

xxx

The girls were shown looking at the soup with dread, before Bridgette caught Scarlett's eye. "Hey, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" the surfer asked.

"That the nature of this course allows a simple bypass to some of the more _revolting_ elements?" the brainiac responded with a slight shudder. "Then yes."

DJ, Alejandro, and even Shawn were briefly shown struggling to get even the first spoonful down before the scene cut back to the girls. Bridgette tossed a plastic funnel to Jo, who smirked and put it in her mouth. Scarlett poured the jock-ette's soup down the funnel quickly and without issue.

"Hey, I barely even tasted it!" Jo exclaimed, removing the object from her mouth.

"Naturally," Scarlett told her with a smile. "The funnel allowed the soup to bypass the majority of your taste buds – except for the ones on your epiglottis, of course."

"The girls win again!" Chris announced after the footage skipped ahead, pointing a finger in their direction as the scoreboard updated and the five young women began to cheer. "The score is now tied up at 2!"

xxx

"You know," Bridgette confessed happily, "I think we're _really_ starting to get a handle on working together as a team!"

xxx

"Only five more courses left!" Chris announced, donning an attempted French accent for the next phrase. "_Bon appetit_!"

A song began to play over a montage of the next four courses; the lyrics and melody suggested it had been written specifically for the challenge to be reminiscent of similar songs from the 1980s.

_You've gotta eat; (Eat!)_

_Eat to win;_

[Chef chewed for a moment, then stuck out his tongue and took a wad of gum out of his mouth. He stuck it to a larger multicolored ball of pre-chewed gum on a plate, and placed the plate down in front of a disgusted Sammy.]

_Don't let them grooooss you out,_

_Don't let them push you down!_

[Next, in a surgical mask and gloves, Chef squeezed a skunk's tail so that the liquid dripped into a cocktail shaker. The large man mixed it vigorously, then poured it into a fountain glass. Scarlett took a sip, gagged, and fell over.]

_Stand up tall and say you caaaaan!_

[The seventh course had Chef use a caulking gun to draw a smiley face in silicone on the heel of a sandal. It was given to B, who gnawed at it for a few seconds then tried to pull a piece off with his teeth.]

_You've gotta eat; (Eat!)_

_Eat to win;_

_Oooooh, you gotta eat; (Eat!)_

_Eat to wiiiin!_

[Finally, a half-rotten green bell pepper was shown as Chef began to chop it up. Geoff, Shawn, and Alejandro watched him work, the party boy and survivalist almost looking forward to the meal – until Chef withdrew the ladle from the stew he'd been stirring, showing them a rotten apple core, an old sock, and a fishtail. A fly flew over the scoop of garbage, causing Alejandro to lean over and vomit off-screen.]

/

As the montage ended, the camera panned across the two teams. As a whole, they looked thoroughly drained of all energy, and several groans could be heard as Chris began to speak. "Wow! It's still tied up! We're down to the last course in the challenge!"

Once more, Chef lifted the covers off of Shawn and DJ's plates, showing what looked like a pinkish but otherwise ordinary sausage on a bun. "Iiiit's _delicious_ dolphin wieners!" the host announced as Bridgette and Dawn also had their dishes revealed. "Hot dogs, made of dolphin!"

The two girls gasped over a sound clip of a dolphin's cry. "But dolphins are our _friends_!" Bridgette protested in horror.

"We _can't_ eat such noble creatures!" Dawn added.

"This again?!" Jo yelled. "If you two don't hurry up and eat, then we're gonna lose to the guys!"

"You don't understand," Bridgette whined, "I'm a _surfer_, I _swim_ with dolphins!"

"Just eat it already!" the jock-ette demanded.

"No!" Dawn said as she and Bridgette stood up. "We will _not_ allow you to bend us to your will!"

"I'm with you two," DJ said from across the room. "I'm not eatin' no _dolphin_."

xxx

"Can you _believe_ those three?" Chef complained in the confessional. "I worked _hard_ cookin' that dolphin!"

xxx

The camera lingered on the three animal-lovers steadfastly refusing to eat before moving over to Chris. "Okay, enough!" he said, brow furrowed in annoyance. "We'll solve this by having an eat-off!"

/

The footage skipped forward, showing a tray of fifteen shot glasses arranged in three rows on a table. Jo and Shawn were shown sitting behind it as Chris began to explain the final challenge. "Whoever can drink the most shot glasses of fresh, delicious, blended cockroach," the two campers looked warily over at Chef as he began mercilessly killing the insects by way of kitchen appliance, "will be the winner! This _unlikely_ satisfying blend of eight different cockroaches is vitamin rich for your balanced lifestyle!"

Chef poured the drink evenly into the shot glasses, and several errant legs could be seen sticking out. "On your mark," Chris said as the camera cut away from the two anxious teens, "get set, _go_!"

Jo and Shawn picked up their first glasses and immediately locked eyes. The took the shot and put the glass upside-down on the table, then took another. Each one caused them to wretch for a moment, and though their eyes began to look unfocused they did not look away.

Again, the footage skipped along to the sixth shot. Both teams watched in silence, and Jo and Shawn seemed evenly matched. "You know...what the difference between us is?" Jo forced out as they paused before shot number seven.

"What?" Shawn choked as he picked up the glass.

"_I_ didn't eat any worms today," Jo told him as she took the shot, slammed the glass down on the table, and quickly finished her eighth glass before Shawn had recovered from the seventh. "I win!" she exclaimed, raising her arms for a moment before slumping over on the table, knocking away most of her upturned glasses.

"And Jo is victorious!" Chris announced excitedly, the scoreboard updating and the other four girls cheering.

"Well dude," Geoff told his groaning teammate, "I guess you did your best. Don't feel bad about it, okay?"

"Don't worry about that," Shawn said as he clutched his burbling stomach, "I've already got feeling _bad_ covered." His cheeks and eyes bulged momentarily, then he began to vomit on the table. The camera showed a single intact roach floating out in the pool of bile, causing the girls to begin regurgitating their stomach contents as well – first Bridgette, then Sammy, then Scarlett.

Chef watched them, holding a mop in preparation. He scowled, then suddenly brought a hand to his mouth. Chris, too, was forced to hold back his lunch, and he made a silent and hectic motion for the camera to cease filming. Geoff and DJ were the last two to vomit on-screen, managing to even cover the camera lens.

/

The challenge now over, the scene changed to the docks at sunset. A yacht longer than the broadest part of the pier was anchored in front of it, a wooden gangplank extended invitingly. "The girls are the big winners today," Chris began as the background music became the mix of awestruck and ominous that was typically favored for elimination ceremonies; all the girls except for Bridgette were shown walking down to the ship.

"And the guys go their separate ways." The shot panned down from the setting sun to the boys' cabin as DJ and B entered it. The camera panned up again to show Shawn climbing a tree nearby, then cut to the cabin interior as a disheveled Alejandro vomited into a small trashcan. "Despite the day's hardships they stand together," Chris said, "_for now_. What shocking surprises are in store for our campers next week, as they head for the big merge?" The shot moved over to Geoff as he stared with longing out of the cabin window, then faded into a similar picture of Bridgette gazing out one of the windows of the yacht as it started to pull away from the camp. "Tune in, on Total! Drama! Island!"

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

**Author's Note - Post Script**

Not exactly a surprise turn of events, but it is what it is. Looking back I probably should have at least changed the order of the dishes a bit, but I'm satisfied regardless. I could have also dialed up Scarlett's canon lack of proficiency in eating challenges, but I figured it was more of a speed thing which wasn't as much of a factor in this instance. And with both Bridgette and Dawn being reluctant to eat several dishes, it was probably for the better that the girls weren't hampered too much.

Fun fact: every time a reviewer wishes that Jo would get voted out soon or something like that, I thought about Jo gleefully eating those bull testicles and laughed to myself. I don't exactly care for the whole 'testicles=male' thing, but it was something I've really been looking forward to for some time now.

The inter-team conflicts were a bit interesting to write. For the girls, Jo provided an obvious source of antagonism, but she lacked the ally that Heather had in canon, and none of the formerly Gopher girls is aggressive enough to cause the conflict to escalate - nor were the incoming ex-Bass. Still, with Scarlett having hidden villainous tendencies, I was able to make things work.

The guys, on the other hand, aren't quite as unified as they were in canon - Shawn is still being a loner, and Alejandro's friendliness is only a facade. They aren't divided like the canon girls were, of course, but it's still a fairly interesting dynamic.

The merge is next week, and I'm eager to see what you all expect to happen - both in terms of returning contestants, and who will be eliminated.

See you then! And for those who celebrate it, Happy Halloween! And similarly, a Happy Day of the Dead as well!

- Fangren

* * *

**Appendix: TSI Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (22nd Place)

Dakota - (21st Place)

Ezekiel - (20th Place)

Sugar - (19th Place)

Lightning - (18th Place)

Amy - (17th Place)

Scott - (16th Place)

Beth - (15th Place)

Sierra - (14th Place)

Topher - (13th Place)

Sam - (12th Place)

Beardo - (11th Place)


	15. Chapter 15 - No Pain, No Game

**Author's Note**

Well, here we are! The much-awaited merge, and all the changes it brings to the game. Fortunately, Chapter 16 ended up being relatively straightforward to write despite having to change a few things. But as much as I'm sure we're all excited to get on with it, the reviews come first!

**Sleep Arypsure:** I'm happy that you're happy! And as for who comes back...well, you'll find out soon!

**Star Saber21:** Yeah, the Jo vs Shawn finale was a pretty obvious choice to make - in canon, of course, it was Leshawna and Owen, who were presumably the two teams best eaters. My version was definitely less one-sided, though, and I figured that Jo getting the win was at least believable. As for Shawn being a loner...well, sooner or later he's gonna be forced to change in that regard, whether he wants to or not.

**Ddynamo:** Good question! For starters, I'll be changing the episode titles to something more relevant to the characters in it. The base plots, however, will still be largely similar - whatever takes the place of 'Scarlett Fever', for example, is still probably gonna revolve around Chris forcing the campers to stop the island's self-destruct.

**Cole D. soul:** Agreed, Shawn definitely has one of the best skill sets for this season, which really adds to how much I'm enjoying him in this story.

**ElizabethLifeStone:** Thanks!

**Knifez:** So did he, I think. Well, he's still incredibly tough, only losing by a single shot to someone who had eaten less during the challenge.

**XxRin-sanxX:** Hey, I was wondering what had happened to you! Glad you're still reading and enjoying. And to be honest, I think most of what was eaten for the challenge was in vain, since only the final part actually mattered. Let's see, what else...well, I've been wishing I had more opportunities for Alejandro to flirt as well, but between the larger cast and challenges specifics I haven't been able to as much as I'd like. As for not remembering the challenges, that's perfectly fine - heck, I keep having to check my notes to see what the next challenges are myself. It might be because if you read a lot of fan rewrites of this season, you tend to only make it through the first few challenges before either the fic stops, or you lose interest. As for the rest, I'm afraid you'll have to wait and see.

**Guest:** If you've read the Author's Note for chapter two you should already know the answer to your request.

**Jinxup116:** Well now, I'm curious to know if your predictions end up being right!

**insertnamehere21:** Well, I hope you've made it far enough to see my thanks!

**Madison Wooten:** Yup! And now you just have to read on to find out who's returning to the game.

**acosta perez jose ramiro:** Oh yes, it's definitely a flaw of hers that I'll admit to have taken a few liberties with. In canon, she generally discusses the details of a person's aura with them in (relative) private, but then again in canon she neither lasted as long as in this fic nor did she have roommates like Jo and Amy.

**Bellyacher:** Fortunately, the ability to hold down mass amounts of disgusting food probably isn't necessary to survive the impending undead apocalypse.

Next, as requested, here are the remaining contestants as of the beginning of the chapter:

Girls - Bridgette, Dawn, Jo, Sammy, Scarlett

Boys - Alejandro, B, DJ, Geoff, Shawn

Well dear readers, the wait is almost over! Hold on to your butts, because here comes the merge!

-Fangren

* * *

**Episode 15 – No Pain, No Game**

"Last time, on Total Drama Island!" The recap began with the scene of the teams dissolving, and Alejandro winking at Scarlett. "The Bass and Gopher teams were disbanded into a 'Battle of the Sexes' challenge that put their taste buds to the puke test." Chef, Geoff, and DJ were shown about to vomit.

"With bovine testicles, live fish-insect pizza, and liquid roach juice on the menu," each dish was shown as the host mentioned them, "not only was this the single biggest wretch-fest this host has _ever_ seen, but Jo's iron will and a little _accidental_ strategy scored a big win for her team." Bridgette, Sammy, and Scarlett were shown throwing up as well, then Jo's victory was shown along with the guys' disappointment.

"While the girls set sail on a weekend retreat aboard the S.S. Lap O' Luxury," the winners cheered, and were seen walking down the dock, "it's only a matter of time before the guys start to fall apart." The guys were shown partying for a few seconds before cutting to Alejandro's angry vow in the confessional. Clips of DJ holding the charmer down and refusing to eat were shown, followed by Shawn climbing a tree and Geoff looking sadly out the cabin window."How long until Alejandro _crosses_ the line, and can DJ even _see_ the line? Will Shawn ever _fall_ in line, or will Geoff _break_ the line? And will B even _have_ any lines?" B nodding, grimacing, and gnawing at a sandal finished off the montage of footage.

Chris flashed a cocky grin from the end of the Dock of Shame, Dakota standing next to him with an anxious look on her face. "For the answers to _all_ these cliffhangers, and more! Stay tuned to the _most_ exciting episode yet, on Total! Drama! Island!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

_Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

_You guys are on my mind!_

_Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

_And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

_I wanna be...famous!_

_I wanna live close to the sun!_

_Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

_Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

_I'll get there one day._

_'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

_(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

The episode opened with a shot of Shawn sitting at the top of a tree, hand to his brow to block out the sun as he scanned the area around him. The camera panned down, showing Alejandro and DJ lounging in chairs on the beach, then over to the docks where Geoff and B were fishing. The two cast their lines, then looked over at the pair on the beach. Alejandro looked up from the magazine he had been reading and DJ stopped eating the sandwich he had, and they looked up at Shawn. The survivalist looked down and shrugged, then went back to scanning the horizon.

A fly landed on the gentle giant's sandwich and he waved it away with his hand; it landed on the arm of Alejandro's chair and he quickly rolled up his magazine and smashed it.

The camera cut back to Shawn, who noticed something that made his eyes go wide. "Hey guys," he shouted to the others below, "I think they're-"

He was cut off by the loud and deep sound of a ship's horn. The camera cut to the five girls standing happily on the deck of the yacht they had taken at the end of the previous episode. The ship stopped at the end of the dock, the gangplank was lowered, and the five girls slid down to the pier – first Jo, then Bridgette, then Scarlett, then Sammy. Dawn came last, and nearly bumped into the cheerleader; both girls smiled and blushed lightly at each other.

"Man, the past couple of days were _great_!" Jo said as the girls began to walk towards the shore. Geoff and B gave them neutral looks, as did DJ on the shore, but Alejandro briefly showed a scowl. "Good food _and_ a legion of servants doing whatever I say? I'm _almost_ sorry to be back!"

"Who knew you could have so much fun at a spa?" Bridgette added with a smile.

"I concur," Scarlett said. "After a month at camp, the refreshment and relaxation was a welcome change. I'd definitely return if given the opportunity." The boys were shown frowning in jealousy, even Shawn who had climbed down from his tree.

xxx

"Man, I _really_ coulda used that spa treatment. I got some _nasty_ alligator elbows!" DJ confessed grumpily, holding his elbows up to the camera.

xxx

"So, what have _you_ losers been up to?" Jo asked as the five guys gathered at the base of the docks. "Spend the last two days crying because you lost to a bunch of girls?"

"Perhaps they've spent their time pointlessly battling each other for dominance over their group like the animals they try to emulate?" Scarlett suggested with a sly smirk.

"I'll have you know," Alejandro told them, "that the five of us have grown quite _close_ these past few days!"

"Whatever you say, Ale-_barf_-dro!" Jo snorted. "It doesn't change the fact that girls are _still_ better than guys! Right ladies?"

She looked back at the other girls, who put their hands together ready to cheer before Chris' voice came over the loudspeaker. "Listen up campers!" he drawled. "As of right now, all teams are _officially_ dissolved. From here on in, it's every camper for _themselves_!" Each word was punctuated by the background music for dramatic effect.

The girls dropped their hands and stepped away from one another. "Finally!" Jo grinned. "It's about _time_ I got the chance to go it alone without a _team_ to slow me down."

Shawn shrugged. "Hey, not like I didn't see _this_ coming a mile away. It's not like anything _else_ is gonna change around here."

"You really think that?" Chris said over the loudspeaker with barely-contained laughter. Ominous music began to build slowly with each reaction shown.

Another ship's horn got the attention of Geoff and B. "_Whoa_," the party boy said slowly, eyes going wide.

"Aww man, this ain't _good_..." DJ added, bringing his hands to his mouth.

"But _how_?" Alejandro asked softly. "They were voted off!"

"_No..._" Sammy whispered in horror, going pale and clinging to Dawn. "Nonononononono _please_ let this just be some horrible dream..." Her friend was too shocked to comfort her, and both Bridgette and Scarlett were similarly unnerved.

The music broke into vague Latin chanting as the yacht returned to shore, a thunderstorm raging violently in the background. Two figures were visible kissing on the prow: the taller was dark-skinned, dark-haired, and wore mostly blues; the shorter was light-skinned, blonde, and dressed primarily in red. Bolts struck down on either side of the ship as they broke their kiss and turned wicked smiles towards the shore.

"Back, by _popular_ audience demand," Chris announced, "it's _Amy_ and _Lightning_!"

Sammy yelped, ducking behind the other girls and dragging Dawn with her. The chanting came to a sudden halt as the two returning campers hopped down from the ship. "That's right," Lightning boasted, "me and my girl are back in the game, and we're not stoppin' until we win it _all_!"

"So the rest of you had better watch out," Amy sneered. "Especially you, _Samey_! You'll regret _ever_ voting me off!"

"Hold on, McClean!" Jo shouted, crossing her arms and turning towards the loudspeaker. "What happened to the losers getting kicked off for good?"

"...did I say that?" Chris' disembodied voice asked.

"Yeah," Jo barked, "you did! Once you leave..." she began, the footage cutting to static followed by a montage of the host explaining the rules earlier in the season.

xxx

"Once you leave on the Dock of Shame," he said, "on the Boat of Losers, you can never, never-ever, _ev-er_ come back!"

xxx

"Oh, yeah, _that_," the present Chris said. "_Yeah_...I _lied_..."

"But they were voted off fair and square!" the jock-ette protested. "Why do they get to come back after they've already _lost_?"

"You should probably save your anger for when he is here in _person_," Alejandro advised, also glaring at the loudspeaker.

The camera cut back to the girls, where Amy was staring haughtily at her cowering sister. Bridgette quickly slid between them, hands outstretched to keep them separated. "Whoa, why all the hate? Can't we just talk this out?"

"Can it, fish-girl!" Amy spat. "Samey will _not_ get away with what she did to _me_, her own _sister_!"

"Hard to believe _those two_ were audience favorites," Geoff whispered to a nodding B.

"Hey!" Lightning exclaimed. "I'll have you know that _everyone_ loves Lightning! Sha-_yeah_!" He kissed his biceps, prompting Geoff and B to glance at each other.

"Well," Chris told them, "_we_ liked them anyway. Oh, and one more thing. One of my interns isn't really working out, but I can't fire her without giving back all her Daddy's money, _sooo_ Dakota's back too!"

"_What_?!" exclaimed Jo and Alejandro as Chef walked into view, carrying the squirming heiress over his shoulder, still in her intern uniform. He grimaced and threw her to the ground in front of DJ and Shawn, then walked away.

"_Rude_!" Dakota whined, rubbing her back and glaring at the large man. "Uggh, he's lucky he has that stupid _contract_," she muttered as she got to her feet and dusted herself off.

"Y'know, Princess," Shawn told her, "most people would be pretty _happy_ to have another shot at a hundred grand."

"Yeah, but most people aren't _rich_," Dakota countered. "This is _way_ too much work for that kind of money. It would be fine if _Sam_ were still here, but he's not, and with the _paparazzi_ still banned it'll be hard to get the screen time I want..." She struck a contemplative pose and moved away from the two boys.

"Seriously?!" Jo complained as Dakota walked by. "She's not even here to _win_!"

Dakota gasped. "How could you _say_ that? Of _course_ I want to win!" she explained. "I mean yeah, I don't care about the _money_, but winners _always_ get lots of photo-ops. Plus it'll help prove to people that I'm _more_ than just an incredibly cute face!"

"Can you believe this girl?" Lightning said, furrowing his brow. "No _way_ does she deserve to play this game." Scarlett, who had been standing nearby, looked at him with disdain.

"Alrighty campers," Chris announced over the loudspeaker yet again, "report to the amphitheater where you'll learn _all_ about this week's challenge!" He made a clicking sound, signaling the end of the message. "McClean, out!"

"Ready to be _crushed_, little sister?" Amy smirked. "I have no idea how you've made it this far, but soon you'll be exposed as the pathetic little _knock-off_ of me you've always been. And _nobody_ is going to save you!" she started to laugh as she walked away, leaving Dawn and Sammy alone on the docks.

The nice twin sighed. "I can't believe she's back," she said after the ship sounded its horn and pulled away from the pier.

"Don't worry," Dawn told her, putting a hand on her shoulder. "We voted her off once, and we'll be able to vote her off again."

"Thanks," Sammy smiled, and the two girls began their own trip back to shore.

/

The scene flashed to a distance shot of the camp, zooming in then cutting to inside the girls' cabin. Dakota was already making herself at home in the bunk beneath Jo, while on the right side of the room Scarlett and Dawn sat on their top bunks with Bridgette and Sammy respectively below them. The open doorway was darkened by the silhouette of the seventh female camper in the game.

"Umm, _hello_, where am _I_ supposed to sleep?" Amy complained, stepping into the room with crossed arms and an angry pout.

"It _is_ unusual that the producers would allow two girls to return to the game when there is only _one_ free bed in our cabin," Scarlett agreed.

"Eh," Jo said as she laid on her back staring at the ceiling, "they probably just expect one of _us_ to go home tonight, and I can't really blame 'em. If we're all still here after the challenge, just ask Chris for a cot or something."

"Uhh, yeah, like _that's_ ever gonna happen," Amy said dismissively. "Here's a _better_ idea. Samey!" she yelled, her sister immediately cringing. "You're sleeping on the _floor_ from now on, so get out of my bed!"

"Why should she?" Dawn asked as the good twin sighed and began to move. "She deserves a bed just as much as the rest of us do, and you have no right to take that away from her simply because it isn't _yours_."

Amy's eyes narrowed dangerously. "I don't know what Samey's been telling you," she hissed, "but there's no way on _Earth_ that she deserves a bed more than _me_. So just mind your own business."

"Your sister is my _friend_," Dawn countered, "which means that any mistreatment she suffers _is_ my business." Sammy, who had been looking back and forth between the two girls, finally cracked a small smile.

Amy, on the other hand, began to growl in frustration and stepped towards the object of her current ire. "Whoa!" Bridgette said, quickly putting herself between the girls. "Calm down, there's no need to get this _mad_! Can't we just talk this out?"

The mean twin put a hand on her hip and sniffed. "Fine. Whatever. I'll just go find Chris, I bet _he'll_ agree with me." She turned and left, causing her sister to hang her head and moan.

xxx

"What is her _deal_?" a bewildered Bridgette asked in the confessional. "I mean, I know not everyone has a good relationship with their siblings, but this is too much!"

xxx

The footage cut back to the thirteen campers on the amphitheater stage, sitting in three tiers with makeshift desks in front of them and a varied assortment of chairs. The highest tier was reserved for the boys, with Shawn, DJ, Alejandro, B, Lightning, and Geoff lined up in a row. In the middle tier were Dawn, Scarlett, Amy, and Bridgette, while Sammy, Dakota, and Jo had the lowest row to themselves.

"Welcome to you next challenge!" Chris told them from off-screen. "The time-honored game of torture: Say Uncle!" He slid into view from the left, facing the camera with his usual grin. Behind him, the younger twin shot a hesitant glance up and to her left, which was met by the glaring elder twin.

"You are all about to be put through tests of endurance," the host continued, "_so_ insane that some of 'em sent our interns to the emergency room." Each row of campers was shown looking shocked, scared, or simply wary. "If you back down from the challenge or do not last the required ten seconds," Chris explained as a scowl formed briefly on his face, "you will be eliminated! The winner will not only be safe from _elimination_, but will win this luxurious trailer!" A small but sparkling trailer was shown on the ground nearby; it was the type that needed to be hitched to another vehicle in order to go anywhere. "Yours to take home at the end of the summer."

"What _kinds_ of torture?" Jo asked, arms crossed and unimpressed.

"Why don't you ask my lovely assistant!" Chris told her jovially, motioning to Chef who stood nearby in a hockey mask with a butcher's knife in his hand. "Alright," the host told the campers once their terror had been renewed, "let's do this!" The camera panned across the teens, then cut back to the host as he moved next to a large wooden wheel stood upright and divided into twenty-four sections, each with a small picture near the rim.

"Alejandro, you're up first! Let's spin the 'Wheel of Misfortune' to select your torture!" Chris gave the wheel a spin, and a tune reminiscent of a game show theme played in the background. Alejandro was shown gulping as he awaited his fate, and the wheel came to a stop – the red arrow at the top landed on a picture of a barrel. "Lake leech bath!" Chris announced excitedly.

The footage skipped ahead to host and victim standing side by side. "Our interns have spent the past few weeks collecting the biggest, nastiest, blood-suckingest leeches from the lake," Chris explained, "and put 'em in that barrel over there." The camera panned over to Chef, who carried a large wooden barrel on to the stage As he set it down, a bit of water sloshed out and a few large leeches attached themselves to Chef's arm. The large man grimaced, and plucked them off his skin.

"All _you_ have to do," the host told Alejandro, "is get in the barrel and stay in for as long as you can."

Another flash forwarded the scene to the handsome young man preparing to climb in, a look of disgust on his face. "Better hope your clothes are on nice and _snug_," Chris whispered to him, "I wouldn't want to be you if they weren't!" He walked off, and the scene flashed forward again. "If you can stay in for ten seconds," Chris reminded the boy as a timer appeared at the top of the screen, "you'll go on to the second round."

A buzzer sounded, and Alejandro got in to the barrel. The camera focused on his face as the smirk he'd donned became more and more forced. The leeches inside could be heard squirming around, and their victim's visage contorted more and more as he struggled to contain his disgust. Eventually, though, the timer reached 10 seconds and a bell rang, leading Alejandro to launch himself from the barrel.

"And Alejandro moves on to the next round!" Chris announced with glee as the young man fell to the ground covered in leeches. "Isn't this fun?"

"Truly," the handsome boy groaned, "it is the joy of a lifetime."

"Whoa, that looked pretty _gnarly_," Geoff commented, leaning down to get closer to Bridgette. "But I bet I could handle it too, especially if I was doin' it for _you_."

"Well, here's hoping it doesn't come down to that," Bridgette smiled. "I don't want you to get hurt because of me. Besides, I can handle these tortures just as well as you can."

"Oh, no doubt!" Geoff told her. "You're a pretty tough chick, facin' your fear of bein' alone in the woods and all. I just don't wanna see you get hurt either."

"Aww, that's so sweet!" Bridgette said. The two gazed into each other's eyes and smiled.

/

"Next up," Chris announced with a note card in his hand as he walked past the wheel, "Amy! Your torture is..." He gave it a spin, and the game show tune began again. The cheerleader's eyes went wide as she looked over at the host, and the wheel eventually came to a stop on a picture of a few musical notes. "Ooh, the New Age music torture!"

A gong sounded, and Amy was shown being led to another seat by Chef, who proceeded to place a bulky pair of headphones on her. "You'll be listening to some of the _finest_ New Age music ever made! If you can stand it for the full ten seconds, you can go to the next level."

"Puh-_lease_," Amy scoffed, "it's just some crappy _music_. How bad can it be?"

"I'm sure you'll find out," Chris chuckled, motioning to Chef to start the music.

The scene rippled into a kaleidoscope of colors as the music began to play, quickly coalescing into the image of a unicorn standing on a floating rock against the night sky. The camera panned to the right, passing the full moon and a small pod of dolphins swimming through space. A comet went by, leaving a trail of rainclouds in its wake, and finally the camera came to a rest on Amy's scowling face. The bell chimed, and the mean twin threw off the headphones and stormed off stage. "Uggh, that was _horrible_. Still not as bad as Samey's _snoring_, though."

"I don't snore _that_ bad, do I?" the younger twin whispered, raising her head to catch the ear of Dawn.

"Not that I can recall," the mystic answered. "Though to be honest, I'm more annoyed at the implication that New Age music is _bad_ when it really is quite lovely!"

"It is?" Sammy asked. "Well, maybe we could listen to it together sometime!"

"Oh yes," Dawn smiled, "that would be wonderful."

/

"Well done, Amy!" Chris exclaimed. "Since you only complained _after_ you were done, you get to choose who goes next!"

Amy immediately donned a wicked grin, and looked down at her sister, who looked back with dread. "Well in _that_ case," Amy said, "I think I'll have to choose by dearest sister _Samey_."

"And which torture will you make her undergo?" Chris asked happily.

"Hmm, good question...," the mean girl said slowly. "There's just _so_ many to choose from! But if I think about what's best for _her_, then _obviously_ I have to pick the Poison Ivy spa treatment. Who knows? Maybe it'll actually make her look _good_!"

"Poison Ivy it is!" the host smiled as Chef wheeled out a cart with a bowl of leaves on it. "Come on down Samey, time's a wastin'!" The girl slumped her shoulders and sighed.

xxx

"Man, my girl is _vicious_," Lightning commented in the confessional. "But hey, you gotta be like that if you wanna _win_!"

xxx

"Stop!" Dawn declared, standing from her seat as Sammy trudged across the stage. DJ, who had begun to stand as well, closed his mouth and froze in place. "If someone is to be given this torturous challenge, then _I_ volunteer to take her place!"

Amy made a gagging motion. "Eww, who asked _you_? I said _Samey_ is going to do the torture."

"Sorry Dawn, but that's how it works!" Chris told her. Dawn frowned and sat back down – as did DJ – but smiled when she met Sammy's own. "Oh, and by the way," the host continued, "if your victim can last ten seconds without saying 'Uncle', _you_ get eliminated instead!" A few dramatic notes played in the background. "Which means, you lose your chance to win _this_!" The trailer was shown again, accompanied by the sound of a harp.

Sammy sat down on the chair provided, and as the timer started Chef got to work wrapping her face in the poisonous leaves. She quickly began to squirm, and just as Chef was about to put on the finishing touches – the traditional cucumber slice over each eye – Sammy ripped off the Poison Ivy. "I can't take it anymore!" she cried, scratching her swollen and red face. "So _itchy_!"

The buzzer sounded. "Sorry Samey," Chris told her, "but I'm afraid eight seconds just doesn't cut it! You're out, and can return to your new seat." The chair next to Dakota was instantly swapped out for open stocks.

/

The wheel spun again, landing on a picture of three turtles. "Geoff, you're next!" Chris announced, and the footage skipped forward to the party boy standing in front of a hockey net.

"I can take a few turtles, no big deal!" he said confidently, the shot cutting over to a group of angry-looking turtles and Chef with a hockey stick. The large man slapped one of the reptiles across the stage, causing Geoff to repeatedly scream as it bit his leg.

/

The spins and challenges began to alternate along with the music – first the game show tune, then a few sharper notes for the tortures. Bridgette was first, shown covered with bees for a few seconds before another spin had Dakota screaming as Chef held her hair with one hand and a running chainsaw in the other. Finally, Shawn was shown reclining on a larger table-like device as Chef shocked him with a pair of electric eels.

The wheel was spun again, landing on what appeared to be a pair of shorts. "Our next challenge will be," Chris announced, "wearing a pair of _wooden_ shorts for ten seconds while one of the local woodpeckers goes at it." He motioned over to Chef, who held the bird on a thick branch; the woodpecker quickly lived up to its name by working through part of its perch in less than a second. "Shawn, you took those eels like a champ, so you get to choose the next victim." He looked over to the survivalist, silently recovering from another shock as the timer showed he'd made it the full amount of time.

Shawn raised an eyebrow and looked over the remaining campers – only Sammy and Dakota were in stocks so far. After a moment he shrugged and gestured uncertainly top-right row. "Uhh, I don't know, Lightning I guess?"

xxx

"Like I had _any_ idea who to pick!" Shawn confessed. "I've kinda made it a point _not_ to make any enemies these past few weeks. But he hasn't gone yet, and I figured giving this challenge to a _guy_ would be my best bet at not being eliminated!"

xxx

"Pretty good move from Zombie Boy," Jo said in her turn in the outhouse. "Lightning's still fresh, and that makes him a _threat_."

xxx

"Me?" the athlete exclaimed. "Sha-_please_, I can take anything you throw at me! Bring it on, zombie guy!"

"I hope this isn't a mistake...," Shawn groaned to himself.

The footage skipped ahead to the point where Lightning had put on the strangely well-fitting shorts. They had a metal waistband to which a padlock was attached, implying they had been locked into place – Lightning would not be able to easily escape. Chef brought the woodpecker close, and as soon as it hopped from its branch to the shorts the timer began.

"Peck all you like little bird," the victim taunted, "but Lightning remembered to put his _cup_ on before leavin' this mornin'! I barely feel a thing!"

The woodpecker paused for a moment to look at the human talking to it, then moved to the other side of the shorts and started hammering again. Lightning's eyes bugged out briefly, then started to sweat nervously. "Uhh, y'all don't need to go peckin' around back _there_, you can just stay in front." He tried to turn in place, but the woodpecker stood firm. As the time limit approached, the woodpecker broke a hole in the shorts; the camera cut to a shot of the campers wincing as Lightning yelped in pain.

"Well," Chris announced as the bell rang, "looks like Lightning managed to stick it out after all! A reckless choice by Shawn, and it's cost him the game!" The survivalist and his seat disappeared below the makeshift tables, only for the boy to pop up moments later in stocks. He groaned.

"Now, let's see who showed less courage than Lightning and cried 'Uncle'!" Chris said with a grin.

/

The first to be shown was Scarlett, slowly eating ice cream from a comically large tub as the timer ran in the corner of the screen. "Gotta love the ice cream brain freeze!" Chris said as the redhead suddenly dropped her spoon and put her hand on her head. Groaning in pain she took a few steps, tripped on the lid to the tub, and fell over. The timer buzzed.

The next clip had Amy reclining in a seat on stage as Chef poured a pot of something hot and white on her face. "_And_ the marshmallow wax!" the host said as the cheerleader started to claw at her face only four seconds in, wiping away the molten marshmallow from her mouth and shrieking. The timer buzzed for her as well.

Third had an alternating line of small rocks and skunks, the camera panning left to show DJ hopping up to the first rock as the timer began. As he hopped from rock to rock, Chris happily said "And of course, the skunk jump!" One of the skunks looked up and smiled at the gentle giant, who hesitantly smiled back before the animal turned around and sprayed its noxious chemical. DJ trembled in the cloud of stink, and fell. The timer buzzed yet again.

"And who can forget the snake squeeze?" the host added over a clip of B sweating in the coils of a long and thick purple snake. It hissed, he yelled in pain, and the timer buzzed for a fourth time in a row.

/

The scene cut to a side view of a log rolling in the water, the camera panning up to show Jo facing off against a frowning brown bear. After a few seconds the jock-ette smirked and stomped on the log, causing it to stop and the bear to bounce and land on its groin; it then rolled sideways into the water. Several small fish jumped out and snapped their jaws, and the bear rolled back up the other side, stripped of its fur. The bell chimed, and Jo hopped back to shore with a confident smirk on her face.

"Jo!" the host told her. "Since you did so well against Molotov the bear, you get to pick the next victim!"

She looked over at the campers and grinned; aside from her, it was only Dawn and Alejandro left sitting freely. "Well McLean, I'm gonna have to go with the Aura Whisperer," she said causing the blonde to look surprised. "As for the torture," Jo glanced over at the wheel, "not many of 'em _left_, huh? Let's go with the _nose hair_ thing, I don't think she's tough enough to handle it."

xxx

"Okay, I've had nose hairs ripped out before," Sammy admitted in the confessional, "and it is _not_ a laughing matter. And Chef's a _lot_ stronger than Amy is." She leaned back from the camera, adopting a look of concern. "I hope Dawn will be okay!"

xxx

Dawn was led to the same reclining table-like fixture that had been used for some of the other tortures, shooting a reassuring smile at Sammy as she walked past the lower row of seats.

"Okay Dawn," Chris said as she got into position, "all you have to do is stay there for ten seconds after Chef yanks _every_ hair out of your nose at the same time."

"Sounds simple enough," Dawn replied nervously as Chef approached with a pair of tweezers in each hand and a dark grin beneath his mask. He spent a few seconds looking up the petite girl's nose in preparation, then gave a thumbs up to the host once his tools were in place.

"Well then, let's get started!" Chris smiled, prompting Chef to quickly pull the tweezers down, taking a clump of small hairs with each. Dawn yelped and brought her hands to her nose as the timer began. As the other campers watched, the young woman writhed on the spot, but to Jo's growing displeasure she neither fell nor fled.

Finally, the ten seconds were up, and the bell chimed. "Aww, crap..." Jo grumbled as her seat was quickly swapped out for stocks.

"Yup, looks like you just got eliminated," Chris said with a shrug as Dawn walked back to her seat, still holding her nose. "And Alejandro, that means you're up!" He pointed at the handsome boy in the top row, who raised an eyebrow. "Alright! After twenty-one rounds of torture, we're down to _two_ steely competitors, and the _sudden-death_ round."

xxx

"Ah," Alejandro sighed happily, "I will _enjoy_ having my own trailer. Because honestly, there's no _way_ I can lose now. The only thing left to decide is who goes home tonight, but I've already taken care of that."

xxx

"Okay dude, it's up to you!" Chris announced as he gave the 'Wheel of Misfortune' one last spin. "Your final challenge is...," the wheel came to a stop at a large footprint, "to spend ten seconds in a wooden crate with _Sasquatchanakwa_!"

"...Sasquatchanakwa?" Alejandro repeated in disbelief.

/

The shot cut to the sun high in the sky, the music taking an ominous twist. The camera panned down to a large crate on the amphitheater stage, twice as tall as Chef with air holes at the top and a door in the side. "Sasquatchanakwa," Chris exposited as the crate rattled and a roar issued from within, "once thought to be no more than _legend_, it was eventually found to be living right here on our little island. So naturally, we ticked it off by putting it in a way too small box!" Alejandro looked at the crate and gulped.

"Now, you _could_ back out now," Chris offered, "but that would mean giving the win to Dawn." Alejandro became serious, looking over his shoulder at Dawn and the other campers, then over at the sparkling trailer.

"I'll do it," the handsome boy said. He looked back one last time and nodded at Jo, who returned the gesture. Alejandro turned his gaze back to the crate, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

The timer began the moment he stepped inside. The door slammed shut, and the crate began to shake vigorously as more roars and growls could be heard inside.

"Psst!" Jo hissed awkwardly as the camera quick-panned over to the other campers, the sounds of Alejandro's challenge still in the background. "Hey!" Jo hissed again, gaining the attention of Amy in the row above her.

"What do _you_ want?" the cheerleader whispered back.

"Come find me after the challenge, I wanna talk to you and your boy-toy about tonight's vote!" the jock-ette answered.

"_Fine_," Amy spat back, "but it better not be a waste of time." Jo rolled just rolled her eyes and went back to watching the final torture. The camera panned to Amy's left, showing Scarlett watching the two with a look of suspicion on her face.

/

Back at center stage, the crate had stopped moving as the timer ran out. Moments later, Alejandro emerged with a cocky smile on his face, none the worse for wear. "Truly a _magnificent_ creature," he said loudly with a glance back at the open door, "it was an _honor_ to meet it."

"And Alejandro wins!" Chris announced, the bell ringing one last time and triumphant music rising in the background. "Which means Dawn is _out_!" In the stands, the petite young woman moaned as she, too, was forced into stocks. "He wins the challenge, invincibility, _and_ the grand prize!" The trailer was shown again, still sparkling and with a maskless Chef to further motion to its grandeur.

"Excelente!" Alejandro exclaimed, jogging up to it and putting his arms as far around it as he could. "Oh comfort, how I have missed you!"

"While Alejandro checks out his trailer full of food," Chris said to the bound losers, "the rest of you can go to the confessional booth and vote off a camper...other than Alejandro..."

/

"So, like, what did you want to talk about?" Amy asked as she and Lightning approached Jo somewhere in the woods behind the cabins. "Because we're voting for _Samey_ this time."

"Yeah," the uber-jock chimed in, "she's too much of a _loser_ to stay. Couldn't even handle a few _plants_!"

"I'm not saying you're not right," Jo told them, "'cause you are, but wouldn't it be better to keep your sister on a little while longer while we pick off her wimpy little friends first?"

Amy narrowed her eyes for a moment, then grinned deviously and rubbed her hands together. "Ooh, I _like_ it! Serves her _right_ for thinking she can turn people against me."

"Exactly!" Jo smirked.

The three conspirators were drawn to the unexpected clearing of a throat nearby. "Pardon me," Scarlett said, "but I overheard your plan, and I'd like to join it."

"Why?" Jo asked, brow raising in skepticism.

"I have my reasons," the redheaded brainiac answered. "Suffice to say, breaking apart Samey's unofficial alliance benefits me as well, and I can contribute a minimum of one further vote apart from my own."

"The welcome aboard!" Jo told her, extending a hand. Scarlett smirked, and the two shook.

/

After the standard opening shot for the campfire ceremony, Chef was shown silhouetted against the moon, howling like a wolf.

"Okay!" Chris said as the scene cut to him at his makeshift podium. "So first up, I ran out of marshmallows."

"Bummer, dude." Geoff said, the thirteen campers shown sitting on an equal number of logs, indicating two had been added since the previous ceremony.

"So instead," the host continued, "you're just gonna come stand over here when I call your name. Alejandro, you have invincibility, so you're up first!" The charmer smirked and made his way across the clearing.

"Next up, Bridgette and Geoff!" The two blondes smiled at each other, and made haste to leave their seats. "Lightning and B, come on down!"

"Sha-score!" the jock perked up, striking a pose and jogging past the calmer B.

"DJ! Shawn! Scarlett! Dakota!" One by one, those whom the host called to came and joined the growing group of those still in the game. "Samey!" A look of delight appeared on the nice twin's face, and she quickly went to stand with her gentle giant friend.

"Jo!" Chris announced, and the jock-ette pumped her fist. "Only two left," the host continued as Jo joined the group of winners, where DJ and Sammy were looking particularly nervous. Dawn and Amy glared at each other, the former with pursed lips and the latter with a sinister smile.

"_Amy_," the host said solemnly.

"_What_?!" Dawn exclaimed, popping up from her seat.

"You heard the man," Amy told her, crossing her arms, "so hurry up and _leave_ already!"

Dawn sighed deeply but obliged.

/

At the threshold to the Dock of Shame, Dawn stood one last time with Sammy and DJ. The short girl kissed the nice twin's forehead, then stood on her tiptoes and kissed the gentle giant as well on his cheek. She then threw her arms around them both.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't able to last longer," she told them. "I'll miss you both very much."

"Don't worry about it," DJ told her with a blush and a pat on the back.

"Yeah," Sammy added similarly, "you did the best you could."

"Thank you, friends." Dawn told them both before drawing them closer. "Be careful around Alejandro and Scarlett," she whispered, "they are _not_ to be trusted." Her eyes narrowed as she looked behind them to where the handsome devil himself waved her off with a dark look on his face unnoticed by the others. Dawn broke the hug and sadly waved her friends goodbye, boarding the Boat of Losers and speeding off into the night. Sammy and DJ were left slightly bewildered, and lingered at the edge of the pier.

"How about a celebration at my new trailer?" Alejandro asked the group behind them, eliciting a few cheers from the other campers.

"Anyone seen my other lucky hat?" Geoff asked in a murmur as the larger group left the broken trio behind.

/

The background music became ominous as the scene faded into a shot of the moon; it panned down to the opening of a cave, where several open suitcases and their former contents were strewn on the ground. A pair of distinctly different growls were heard before the camera cut to the interior.

Sasquatchanakwa, the large ape-man seen in the show's opening, eagerly lifted a hat similar to Geoff's to his head and admired himself in a hand mirror. The camera panned over to Molotov the bear, still furless but now wearing a set of Sam's clothing and playing one of the gamer's handheld consoles. He looked over at the other luggage pilferer, and laughed in a way reminiscent of the eliminated contestant whose things he was using.

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

**Author's Note - Post Script**

Yup. Three returned, none were immediately booted, and as far as i know none of you expected it. What made me decide to do it like this? Well, a bunch of things, really.

The initial plan was to only bring back Lightning and Dakota - the latter's inevitable return was what i found to be the obvious conclusion to her internship subplot, while the former merely amused me. But then, I think it was shortly after Amy was eliminated, one of the reviewers (can't recall who, even browsing through the history) expressed a desire to see Amy return at the merge, or something like that. While I didn't do it because of that person, it did cause me to rethink her role in the story, and decide that I wanted to bring her back to cause a little bit more drama for her sister before the season was over.

At that point, I considered just swapping Lightning out for her, but after a bit more thought I decided that having three returnees would help solve another dilemma: what to do about 'Camp Castaways'. For those who don't recall, in that episode it was Owen's 'friend' Mr. Coconut who was eliminated rather than one of the actual campers. Without Owen or anybody suitably goofy in my planned cast for that point in the game, I needed something else to do with that episode. As such, there will be a proper elimination in 'Camp Castaways' in order to even things out.

Additionally, after reviewing some of the previous challenges, I realized that another change was necessary to make things work: the episodes 'Trial by Tri-Armed Triathlon' and 'After the Dock of Shame' will occur in the reverse order from canon, meaning that the eliminated contestants will reduce the number of campers to six, rather than to five.

The last thing I wanted to talk a little bit about in this long-winded Author's Note is my decision to get rid of Dawn. Basically, as much as I love her, her abilities make her a giant threat to anyone trying to sneak around and hide their intentions - such as Scarlett and Alejandro. This is not the last you will see of her, though, I promise that, so don't jump to any conclusions yet about how the Dawn/DJ/Sammy triangle of love will turn out.

I eagerly anticipate your reviews.

- Fangren

* * *

**Appendix: TSI Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (22nd Place)

Dakota - (RETURNED)

Ezekiel - (21st Place)

Sugar - (20th Place)

Lightning - (RETURNED)

Amy - (RETURNED)

Scott - (19th Place)

Beth - (18th Place)

Sierra - (17th Place)

Topher - (16th Place)

Sam - (15th Place)

Beardo - (14th Place)

Dawn - (13th Place)


	16. Chapter 16 - Search and Do Not Destroy

**Author's Note**

Once again, here we are! I ended up hitting a minor snag at the end of Chapter 17, forcing me to delay the release of this chapter until now. But hey, it's not a big deal. I don't have anything else to say here, so on to the reviews!

**acosta perez jose ramiro:** Yup, that's what I was going for!

**Jinxup116:** Hey, congrats on predicting one of the returning contestants!

**Impoik:** Yeah, I don't think anyone really saw that twist coming. As for Staci and Ezekiel...well, I will say that much like in canon, only three campers only compete in one season (as was the case for Eva, Katie, and Sadie). Who are those campers? Well, I'm afraid you'll have to wait to find out.

**Cole D. soul:** Yup to the first two statements, and as for Dakota as a villain, well...I have read stories that use her in that role, but personally I'm not a big fan - she lacks that active malice present in other Total Drama villains.

**Madison Wooten:** Well, you'll just have to wait and see! As for the Dakota thing...I honestly don't think I'm seeing what you're seeing in 'Are We There, Yet?', so I hate to say it, but you're probably wrong.

**Knifez:** Glad to see you're enjoying this so much! Hopefully I can keep you guessing.

**Sleep Arypsure:** Huh, never thought about that, but you're right! The pairings I'll keep quiet on for now though...

**Star Saber21:** Glad to know I'm not that predictable! As for Alejandro, well, he's known for his ability to charm the pants off most species, so why not include Sasquatchanakwa too?

**insertnamehere21:** It occurs to me that you might not have gotten caught up yet, but when you do finally read this, thanks for the review and your continued enjoyment of my work!

**turn forever you and me:** Hey, there's always future season! Thanks for reading.

**Ddynamo:** Yes, yes you did. Fun fact: Super Hero-ld is also something I'm gonna have to change the title of, since it's a pun on Harold.

Next, as requested, here are the remaining contestants as of the beginning of the chapter:

Girls - Amy, Bridgette, Dakota, Jo, Sammy, Scarlett

Boys - Alejandro, B, DJ, Geoff, Lightning, Shawn

With that said, onto the chapter!

- Fangren

* * *

**Episode 16 – Search and Do Not Destroy**

"Last time, on Total Drama Island!" The first shot shown was of the thirteen campers in their tiered seats on the amphitheater stage, the former team logos appearing on-screen and clashing against each other in a shower of stars. "The teams were dissolved, leaving each and every camper to look out for #1!" The scene of the five girls dropping their hands and stepping apart was followed by Amy and Lightning's return, complete with the thunderstorm backdrop. "And just to add a little more _drama_ to the mix, Dakota, Amy, and Lightning returned for more fun!" Dakota was shown getting dumped unceremoniously from Chef's shoulder, and a shot followed of nearly all the campers in stocks during the final parts of the episode's challenge.

"The campers were made to suffer _all_ manner of abuse in the 'No Pain, No Game' challenge." The nose hair plucking, chainsaw haircut, and turtle puckshot tortures were shown briefly, followed by a shot of Chris spinning the wheel. "Amy forced her own sister to go to the 'Poison Ivy spa' despite Dawn volunteering to take her place," both the petite mystic and the spa treatment itself were shown quickly, "and in a stunning display of charm, Alejandro managed to tame the savage Sasquatchanakwa," the charmer was shown walking into the crate, and the container thrashing for a moment, before walking back out.

"He won invincibility for himself," Alejandro was shown putting his arms around his new trailer, "and after pulling a few _strings_," Jo speaking to Amy and Scarlett was shown, "it was _Dawn_ who got sent to the docks." The surprise elimination transitioned into Dawn's final goodbye to DJ and Sammy, as well as her glare at the one who'd gotten her eliminated. "Now that the campers are forced to fend for themselves, who will be selfless? Who will be sel_fish_? And _who_ will eat _shellfish_?"

"Stay tuned for the most _thrilling_ episode yet," Chris told the camera from a close-up on the docks, "on Total! Drama! Island!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

_Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;_

_You guys are on my mind!_

_Ya asked me what I wanted to be,_

_And now I think the answer is plain to see!_

_I wanna be...famous!_

_I wanna live close to the sun!_

_Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

_Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;_

_I'll get there one day._

_'Cause I wanna be...famous!_

_(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

A distance shot of the camp set to a soft tune began the episode. A flock of geese flew across the sky, and as the music played the scene switched over to a hollow in a tree as a squirrel climbed out onto a branch and blearily rubbed the sleep from its eyes. A bird past over it and made a beeline to the trailer that had been won in the previous episode. It came to a brief landing on top before the door slammed open and Alejandro emerged, stretching his arms and already dressed.

/

The scene panned down from the sun cresting over the distant hills to the docks, where DJ and Sammy sat side-by-side, legs dangling into the lake.

"It's so hard to believe that Dawn's gone," Sammy mentioned over the sound of the the water splashing up against the support posts. "It's _weird_ not having her here with us."

"I know how you feel," DJ told her. "It felt like we were _safe_ when the three of us were together, 'cause we always had each other's backs. Never really expected her to just...be _gone_ one day."

The two leaned against one another, and quietly looked out over the lake.

xxx

"I'm not gonna lie," DJ confessed, "a part of me really wanted to ask Sammy out when we were sittin' on the docks together. But with Dawn gone, and me not bein' sure which of us she even _likes_, there's no _way_ I could make a move!" He slumped his shoulders, and gave the camera a sheepish look. "Heck, I don't even know who _I_ like!"

xxx

The morning reverie was broken by a shot from a cannon, the fuse lit by Chris who had taken to wearing a pirate captain costume. The cannonball howled towards where Alejandro was relaxing in a chair, the young man startled out of his state of relaxation as his hard-earned trailer exploded behind him.

"Arrrr, maties!" Chris said into his megaphone with a stereotypical pirate's accent and similarly-themed music in the background. "Meet me at the amphitheater in five minutes, and I'll tell you about today's challenge!"

/

A shot of the stage showed both host and assistant standing on it with a sheet-covered lump between them. Chef, like Chris, wore a pirate hat, but that was the extent of his regalia. In the foreground, the campers streamed in to the seats, dividing themselves according to their original teams – Dakota in particular was shown to have abandoned her intern uniform in favor of her original outfit. Alejandro was the last to arrive, angrily carrying his slightly-smoking bags. Geoff and Bridgette shared a glance, and the camera cut to the stage proper.

"Well, my little scallywags," Chris began, "have we got an adventure in store for ye!" The fake macaw on his shoulder tilted forward with a squeak, but the host quickly pushed it back into place.

"What's under the sheet?" Geoff asked jovially.

"All in good time, laddie!" the host answered. "Who here has a hankerin' for a good old-fashioned _treasure hunt_?" A few dramatic notes were played as Jo snorted and rolled her eyes. "Now, this treasure hunt's got a _twist_, mateys!" Chris explained. "What you're lookin' for isn't _hidden_! And, it isn't _treasure_!"

"If there's no _hidden treasure_," Shawn asked, "then how is this a _treasure hunt_?"

"Arr, shiver me timbers!" the host replied with enough vigor to cause his fake parrot to fall entirely off his shoulder. "Good question, me boy! You're lookin' for _keys_," he held up an example, "to a _treasure chest_!" On cue, Chef pulled back the sheet to reveal a stack of three gleaming chests.

"Inside each of these chests," Chris continued as the camera zoomed in on the potential prize boxes, "is a treasure that will _pamper_ you, land-lubbers! And," the shot changed to a pan across the two groups of teens, "_one_ of these chests will even give you, _invincibility_!" He laughed heartily as Chef walked into view with a metal bucket holding several of what looked to be short wooden boards. "Now come 'round, and pull a clue out of this _bucket_! Or you'll have to walk the _plank_!"

DJ and Sammy shared an anxious look before the footage flashed forward.

/

Twelve hands grabbed all at once, emptying the bucket. "These clues will tell ye where your key be stowed!" Chris told them, the camera showing both groups of six examining what they'd picked.

Shawn's was focused on first, showing a solid black image of a bear and key against the white papered glued to the piece of wood. "A bear?" he said in disbelief. "_Seriously_?!"

"I was kinda hopin' you'd get that one, dude," Chris told him, dropping the accent. "And that there is the septic tank for the washrooms!" he told Amy, who immediately cringed and dropped her clue – the image on it showed a tank of water with a key inside.

"Ooh, and Chef's fridge!" he told B, suddenly popping up on the other side of the stage. "I hear he brushes it daily for fingerprints." The large boy immediately began rubbing his chin, looking thoughtful.

"And of course," the grinning host told Geoff, whose clue showed the silhouette of a familiar ape-man, "our old friend, _Sasquatchanakwa_! Good luck with that one, you'll need it." He gave the party boy a pat on the shoulder as he raised an eyebrow and scratched his head.

"All you scallywags," Chris announced in his pirate accent, once more in the center of the stage, "go find your keys, and bring them back by 6:00 pm, Eastern Standard Time," he pointed to the gold watch on his wrist, "to open up the chest, and get your loot!" A short clip was shown of his hand inserting a key into one of the chests and it opening, a golden glow hiding the contents.

"Fare thee well, young scallywags!" he told them. "Now get to it!"

xxx

"Uggh, I can't believe they expect me to dive into a _septic tank_," Amy griped in the outhouse. "Like, can there _be_ anything more disgusting? This is something _Samey_ should have gotten."

xxx

"Yeah, woohoo, _lovin'_ the treasure hunt here Chris," Shawn said, layered with sarcasm and with his hands waving in the air. "Too bad for _me_ I've made it my life goal _not_ to get eaten! Granted," he admitted, "I was expecting _zombies_, but bears are pretty scary too when it comes right down to it."

xxx

The footage cut back to a shot of a key hanging on a wooden pole in the lake, the shot expanding to reveal a trio of shark fins circling it and the surfer girl standing on the dock in her wetsuit.

"Bridgette's first challenge," Chris narrated, "to grab her key from the man-eating shark infested lake!" The young woman crossed her arms, smirked, then walked away. A flash transitioned to her reappearance, carrying a bucket with various fish parts sticking out the top. With one great heave she threw the chum entirely off-screen, causing the three sharks to immediately give chase and disappear. She dove into the water, and returned moments later to the edge of the dock with the key in her hand.

Geoff walked up to the edge and helped her back onto the pier, and the blondes shared a smile. "That was a snap," Bridgette said confidently.

/

"B must retrieve his key from Chef's bank vault of a fridge without getting caught," the host said as the silent young man looked from his clue to the kitchen. He entered with nonchalance, stowing the piece of wood in his coat and taking out a tape measure and a stethoscope. He first tapped on the kitchen window, then took the fridge door's measurements, then placed the bell of the stethoscope to it and knocked on the door twice.

His eyes went wide with fright when he was answered by another two pounding knocks from inside.

/

"Hmm, it should be around here somewhere...," Alejandro said to himself as he walked through the woods. In the foreground, a skunk poked its head out a hole in the ground, catching the handsome boy's eye before it retreated back into its burrow.

"Wait, please!" the charmer called, enticing the mustelid back into the near-open. The stench was already visible as it peered at the human warily. "I mean you no harm!" he said as he rapidly approached and crouched down in front of the hole. "How could I, for a skunk as _beautiful_ as you! Why, your beauty is only surpassed by the strength of your _stench_, a fact you must no doubt be _proud_ of."

The skunk flushed, and began to groom its tail bashfully. "Certainly," Alejandro told it, "you wouldn't want to waste such a _potent_ weapon on myself, who means you no harm! I merely wish to ask if you have a _key_ in your home which I can take off your paws. After all," he smiled, "it must _certainly_ be in your way, a trinket for which a _magnificent_ creature such as yourself has no real use."

The skunk thought it over for a moment, then nodded enthusiastically, and disappeared into its burrow. After a moment, it re-emerged with Alejandro's key. It held it up to the human, who took it with another smile. "Gracias, little one," he told it, "you have shown me _true_ kindness. Farewell!" He stood and walked away with the key twirling around his finger, sparing the skunk a parting wave which it happily returned.

The moment he'd gotten out of its sight, Alejandro paused to shudder deeply.

/

The mess hall exterior was shown again, tense music playing in the background as the shot cut inside to a snoring Chef, various knives and a chainsaw spread out on the table in front of him. His slumber was soon interrupted by a sudden racket from behind him outside, loud enough to even drown out the hulking man's initial shouts of anger. However, the anger quickly faded into a knowing smirk as he grabbed the chainsaw and quietly walked out towards the main entrance – away from the source of the noise.

The point-of-view switched to a head-on shot as he burst through the front door in an exaggerated fashion. The camera focused on his darkly expectant face as he looked around from the doorway, oblivious to the kitchen window opening in the background and B crawling in head-first as the sound in behind the building faded away.

Chef frowned and nearly turned around, but at that moment another noisemaker – cobbled together from an old alarm clock and other random pieces of metal – activated on the roof a few feet away from the main entrance. Too busy swiping at the device with his chainsaw in an effort to stop it – and no longer in view of the kitchen regardless – Chef didn't notice B retrieving the key from the fridge and squeezing back out the window, closing it behind him.

/

"I guess this is the place," Geoff said as he lifted his hat to scratch his forehead, looking between his clue and the nearby cave entrance. With him was Bridgette, who spotted something off-camera and pushed Geoff behind a bush.

"Definitely," she said with wide eyes, "the sasquatch is _totally_ in there! Look!" She moved a branch aside and pointed, the camera following it to catch a glimpse of the ape-man walking out into the forest. He was wearing a hat similar to Geoff's.

"Whoa, is that my lucky hat?" the party boy asked. "I've been _wondering_ where that went!" He tried to stand up, but Bridgette pulled him back by the hem of his shirt.

xxx

"I _love_ my hats, man!" Geoff confessed, giving the one on his head a flick. "I _always_ have a blast when I'm wearin' one, that's why I brought 'em to camp with me!"

xxx

"That's not _all_ it has," she whispered with another point. The ape-man took a key out from somewhere unseen, the camera focusing on it briefly while it was used as a toothpick. "_Gross_!" Bridgette exclaimed, sticking her tongue out. She turned to look at her companion, but he'd disappeared.

"Hey yeti dude!" he called as he jogged towards the cave. "Can I have my hat back?"

Sasquatchanakwa noticed his approach and became defensive, the background music taking a dramatic spike as he clutched the hat in his hands and growled.

"Whoa there," Geoff said as he skid to a halt and put his hands forward, "no need to get mad, bro, I don't want any trouble, just my hat."

"And the _key_, Geoff, the _key_!" Bridgette called from the bushes.

"Oh yeah, and the key too," the party boy nodded. "Uh, pretty please?" he added when the sasquatch bared its teeth at him and clutched both objects tighter.

xxx

"_How_ is he gonna get his _hat_ back?" Bridgette said, head in her hands. "How is he gonna get his _key_?!" She let out a deep sigh. "There has to be _some_ way of doing this, something we're _missing_..."

xxx

A close-up of a clue was shown, the image portraying a key over a fire. The black-skinned hand lowered it, revealing a raised ring of fire with the key dangling in the center, and fast-paced dramatic music began to play. Lightning grinned, and easily jumped through the hoop. "Lightning's athleticism seems to be helping him with his challenge," Chris narrated as the uber-jock landed in a crouch, and raised his key to the camera.

/

"While Dakota is pretty much out of her_ league_," the host continued as the scene changed to the heiress. She was struggling to climb a tree, the key hanging on a large branch. She tried to grab the bough, but a woodpecker landed nearby and began pecking away at the wood, forcing the girl to withdraw her hand.

/

Amy's clue was shown closely as she stood near one of the putrid toilets. She lowered it and looked around the stall at the pieces of unused toilet paper and assorted flies, and wretched. "Meanwhile, back in the communal washrooms," Chris snickered, "things are looking to be too _deep_ for Amy!" The cheerleader folded arms, scowled, and stormed off.

/

The next clue shown depicted a beehive, the camera moving back to reveal Scarlett studying the location from a good distance. She snapped her fingers and smiled, then briefly dashed out of view. Moments later she was back with a small black pellet and a slingshot. Taking careful aim, she hit the branch above the hive and released a cloud of smoke around it. As even the bees buzzing around outside took shelter, the brainiac confidently raised her sweater over her nose and mouth, then dashed into the thick smoke.

Seconds later she re-emerged, key in hand. "And now to leave before it dissipates," she told herself, jogging away from the area.

/

A key glistened around a bear's neck as it padded around sleepily. As it yawned and laid down to sleep, the camera panned over to what appeared to be a normal cave wall – until a pair of eyes opened in the middle of it. Shawn, covered in camouflage paint, tiptoed towards his target. "Okay," he whispered as he made his way to the front of the bear, "I can do this. Just grab the key and _run_."

He reached down to grab his prize, but the bear shifted in its sleep and covered the key with a paw. Startled by the sudden movement, Shawn squeaked and backed up to the nearest wall until he was flat against it and blending in.

/

Another clue showed a snake, and as with the others it was lowered to show the animal in question – a rattlesnake – coiled around the key. DJ and Sammy watched it cautiously from a distance, the gentle giant holding the piece of wood.

"So, what're you gonna do?" the girl asked.

"Dunno," the boy answered. "I don't want to get bitten, but I also don't wanna hurt it. Maybe if I scare it, it'll slither away and leave the key?"

"Sounds like a good plan," Sammy told him, "I hope it works..."

"Yeah, me too...," DJ murmured, the scene flashing forward to show him holding a long branch with leaves still on the end. He shook the green end close to the snake a couple times, but it only rattled angrily. DJ frowned and thrust the branch forward, but rather than fleeing the snake launched forward and bit into the wood.

DJ yelped and flailed, inadvertently throwing the rattlesnake high and away over the trees. "Sorry!" he called before he and Sammy walked forward and claimed the key it had left behind.

"Well, looks like I'm next," the cheerleader said, pulling out her own clue; the camera zoomed in, revealing the silhouette of a rabbit ext to the key. "It doesn't look too bad, though."

"Yeah," the animal lover smiled, "how hard can it be? It's just a cute little rabbit!"

Sammy nodded, then gasped. "Ooh, what if it's _Bunny_?!"

"You really think it might be him?" DJ asked her, eyes lighting up.

"I guess we'll just have to go find out!" Sammy smiled, and the two ran off.

A flash forward put the pair in front of both key and rabbit. Sammy bent down and DJ knelt, the two beckoning the adorable forest animal forward. "Here, bunny bunny bunny!" the gentle giant said with a smile.

The rabbit looked at them and roared. They both screamed, and Sammy even jumped into DJ's arms. "I don't think that's Bunny," she said in terror.

"I think you're right!" he replied squeakily, trembling all over.

/

The scene cut to Lightning doing push-ups in front of the boys' cabin, key hanging around his neck. "There you are!" Amy berated as she walked into view. "Where have you been, I've been looking all _over_ for you!"

"Hey girl!" the jock answered cheerfully, stopping his workout and getting to his feet. "Just getting' my key! It was a snap for _Lightning_!"

"Well, good for you," she told him bitterly. "_Mine_ is still at the bottom of the _septic tank_. Would _you_ wanna dive into a place so," she shuddered, "totally _gross_?"

"Sure," he told her, "if it meant I win!"

"Yeah, well," she answered with a roll of her eyes, "_Samey_ is the one who does the stinky gross things in my family, not _me_. But speaking of my loser sister, have you seen her or her pathetic little boyfriend anywhere?"

"You mean DJ?" Lightning asked. "I think they went into the woods together at the start of the challenge, haven't seen 'em since."

"Uggh," the mean girl spat, "she's _never_ where I _want_ her to be. Whatever," she huffed, "at least I figured how to get rid of him so she's alone again, just like she _should_ be. We just need to wait until they're alone..."

Lightning raised an eyebrow at his girlfriend's devious look.

/

The next key was shown inside a wine glass on top a rock surrounded by water. The camera quickly zoomed out to show that a ladder had been set up on either side of the small pool, and a dilapidated plank bridge hung across them. Jo was on the bridge, balancing in the gap over her target where two of the steps had been broken. Down below, a pair of alligators snapped at her.

"You'll never get me," she yelled at them, "so just give up!"

/

"Oh, I know!" Bridgette said, suddenly perking up from behind her bush. Geoff was still facing down Sasquatchanakwa without any progress, and both the air and the background music were tense. "We can-"

"No," Geoff told her without taking his eyes off the ape-man. "Sorry Bridge, but I couldn't live with myself if you got hurt. So whatever happens, don't worry about me. I _promise_ I'll be back by the end of the challenge."

"Geoff..." she said softly as the bare-chested young man grabbed a few rocks off the ground and tossed them up and down in one hand.

"Hey ugly!" he said, rearing back to throw as Sasquatchanakwa's nostrils flared. "Eat this!" With a grim smile he pelted the ape-man with stones, most of which bounced off it harmlessly. He paused at the end of the throw, fear returning to him as his adversary scratched where the larger stones had hit its face, then drew up to its full height and roared.

Geoff ran screaming into the woods away from Bridgette, the furious Sasquatchanakwa chasing after. The hat and key had been forgotten in its rage, and the surfer quickly picked them up and shot a look of concern in the direction her former teammate had gone.

/

The footage cut over to the cabins, Lightning once again doing push-ups in the common area. DJ jogged into view, headed for the boys' cabin and looking slightly anxious.

"Yo man, hold up!" the uber-jock said, stopping the gentle giant before he reached the porch and taking a pink envelope – sealed with a kiss – out of his pocket. "I found this on the floor," he said at DJ's questioning look, "it has your name on it, looks important too. Here!" He thrust the kiss-marked envelope into the other boy's hands with a grin.

"Uhh, thanks dude, but I'm kinda busy right now..." DJ said, turning it over in his hands.

"Come on, you could at least open it and see what it is!" Lightning implored. "I mean, maybe it'll help you with, _uh_, whatever it is you're doin'!"

DJ looked from his roommate to the envelope, shrugged, and opened it. "Hey cutie," he read aloud, one eyebrow immediately shooting up, "if you wanna get a sweet surprise, come meet me at the Dock of Shame at five. Love, your Secret Admirer?"

xxx

"Who'd be sendin' _me_ a love letter?" a bewildered DJ asked the confession cam. "I mean, it looks like a _girl_ wrote it, but I'm pretty sure Bridgette and Dakota are into Geoff and Sam, and it's no secret that Amy likes Lightning – not that I'd ever give _her_ the time of day. So that leaves Scarlett and Jo, but neither of _them_ seem like the type who sends secret love letters. And it can't be Sammy," he started to blush, "I've been with her all day, she'd've _said_ somethin' by now. Right?"

xxx

A shot was shown of a lone seagull floating offshore, its head stuck in a plastic soda pop bottle wrapper. An alligator snapped it up from below, and the camera cut to the docks.

The person waiting on the pier did indeed seem to be Sammy, but for a slight discoloration on her right cheek. She spotted DJ walking down from the common area and sent a smile, wave, and wink his way.

"Sammy?" he asked in confusion once he'd gotten closer. "I thought you were-"

"Oh, never mind about _that_...," the cheerleader said, sidling up to him. "Did you get my note?"

"Yeah," DJ said, "Lightning gave it to me. But what about-"

"That doesn't _matter_ right now," the blonde interrupted again. "What matters is _us_." She put a hand on his and looked deep into his eyes, only breaking her gaze for a moment to look behind him.

DJ's look of confusion morphed into a smile. "Cool," he said, putting his hands on her shoulders "I've been wantin' to talk to you about that too, but first, I _gotta_ know: where'd you put Bunny? I don't want him to get lost again."

Irritation briefly flashed across the girl's face, and she looked behind the gentle giant once again. "Oh, don't worry, I just put him in the cabin. Anyway," her tone became seductive as she stepped forward and put her arms around his neck, "about _us_-"

"_Really_?" DJ interrupted, brushing her arms off and stepping back. "Because nobody's seen Bunny for like two _weeks_, which the _real_ Sammy knows." The cheerleader's eyes went wide with shock. "I'd say nice try, Amy, but you're pretty _bad_ at bein' your sister."

Amy quickly composed herself into a pout and rubbed the make-up off her beauty mark, tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes. "I'm sorry for lying DJ," she said with another quick glance behind him, "but can you blame me? I didn't want you to turn out like all of her _other_ boyfriends, you're too _nice_ for that." Seeing the giant's disbelief, she continued with a sniff. "I mean, like, she always pretends that she's the _nice_ twin, and that I'm, like, super _mean_ to her, just so boys treat her better. She gets them to give her everything she _wants_, and then when she gets bored she just dumps them like they're garbage, and I-" she sniffed again, and began to cry, "I just couldn't stand knowing that she was going to do that to you too!"

DJ just crossed his arms and shook his head at her. "Sorry girl, but Momma didn't raise no _fool_. If you were tellin' the truth, then Dawn woulda seen it, and _she_ woulda told _me_."

"You'd really believe that _freak_ over _me_?" Amy said, tears pausing as she looked behind the boy yet again.

"Yeah," the giant told her, "I do. But I don't even _have_ to, everyone can see how you treat Sammy, and I gotta say, it's _messed up_."

The crying girl's eyes lit up briefly after another check of the beach. "I can tell she's already gotten to you," Amy said, "but maybe _this_ will make you realize who's telling the truth!" She stepped forward, lips puckered and headed straight for DJ's.

Nearby, Sammy was holding a bundle of leaves and greens, mouth gaping as the scene unfolded before her. Lightning was behind her, hands on her shoulders and a frown on his face.

Unwittingly, DJ had finally bothered to turn and see what Amy had been looking at behind his broad frame. Doing so caused Amy to miss him entirely, and with her eyes closed she stumbled and fell into the lake. DJ, who had been waving at his real friend, was alerted by the splash and looked down to see the irate older twin rise to the surface of the water. He shrugged and jogged over to Sammy, passing Lightning on the way as the jock ran to the pier.

"Uhh, umm, wh-what was _that_ about?" Sammy stammered in frantic horror.

"That?" DJ answered with a shrug and a look back to the lake. "Your sister tried to trick me into turnin' against you or somethin'."

"Oh," the nice girl said nervously, "yeah, she _always_ does that to my friends. You, uh, you don't _believe_ her, right?"

"Of course not!" DJ said reassuringly. "Your sister's too _messed up_ for me to believe a word she says!"

Sammy let go of her breath. "Oh em gee, you have no _idea_ how happy I am to hear that." She smiled at him, then looked down at the plants in her hands. "Oh right! I found some of the stuff Bunny liked. Hopefully we can use it to distract that _other_ rabbit."

"Yeah," the animal lover smiled, "but we'd better hurry if we wanna get your key."

/

The scene changed back to a cave, focusing in slightly then cutting to a close-up of the sleeping bear. Shawn, still camouflaged against the stone, had dropped down on his hands and knees. With a face full of terror, he slowly slid a hand beneath the animal. He stopped suddenly, the fear momentarily replaced with excitement, switching back to fear as he slowly moved his hand back out. The camera focused on the key as it was freed from the mass of fur and flesh, but as Shawn moved further back the string still around the bear's neck jolted.

"Aww, crap..." Shawn muttered as the bear stirred and opened its eyes, fixing a glare on the terrified young human.

/

As DJ and Sammy ran through the woods, a sharp crack and high-pitched scream forced them to stop as a large branch fell across their path. Clutching it closely and trembling was Dakota, who quickly noticed both her fellow campers as well as the camera. She composed herself and snatched her key, then stood and struck a pose. "Looks like I finally got it!" she said happily before looking at the greens in her fellow blonde's arms. "And what's with the _leafy_ stuff?"

"Oh," Sammy told her, "this is for my challenge. The rabbit was actually pretty _scary_, so we went back to the cabins to get some food for it."

"Yeah," DJ added, "but then Amy slowed us down by tryin' to mess with my head. Even tried to _kiss_ me!"

Dakota gasped. "Really? That's _awful_! We should _totally_ vote her out tonight if we can."

"Well, if you wanna help us get rid of her...," Sammy trailed off with an uncertain smile on her face.

"_Totally_!" the former intern said, putting her hand on the cheerleader's shoulder. "I'll go tell the others, you can count on me!"

"Thanks a lot!" DJ said with a wave as she ran off.

xxx

"Okay," Dakota said in the confessional as she filed her nails, "so, with Sam gone I'm in need of allies. DJ and...what's her name? Sammy? Samey? Whatever, they're not _exactly_ who I'd usually hang around with in public, but they'll do. And I wasn't lying, what Amy did _was_ pretty bad. I mean, trying to steal another girl's boyfriend? I mean, _hello_, can you _get_ anymore evil?"

xxx

The footage skipped ahead to Dakota returning to the campground, struggling to catch her breath. Bridgette was sitting on the steps of the girls' cabin, holding onto Geoff's hat and looking around with worry on her face.

"Bridgette!" Dakota called, gaining her second wind. "I need to tell you something."

"Have you seen Geoff?" the surfer said immediately, her eyes lighting up.

"Err, no, sorry," the heiress told her, causing the girl to slump back down. Dakota disregarded it, and switched into a gossipy tone. "But apparently _Amy_ tried to kiss _DJ_ in front of _Samey_ even though she's already dating _Lightning_."

"Wow," Bridgette told her without enthusiasm, "that's...actually pretty messed up."

"Yeah, that's what _I _thought," Dakota nodded. "We should vote her off tonight, okay?"

"Fine with me!" the surfer told her, flashing a weak smile.

/

Another cut back to Sammy and DJ showed them once again approaching the rabbit guarding Sammy's key, using the greens she'd gathered to try and entice it away from its post.

"Come on little guy," the brickhouse said softly, "come get your dinner..."

The rabbit sniffed in his direction and Sammy stretched out her hand around it, but before it could hop away from the key the camp loudspeakers squeaked on. "Alright, campers!" Chris announced. "Meet me at the campfire in _ten_! And bring your keys!"

Sammy sighed and slouched, DJ consoling her with a pat on the back.

/

The scene faded to black, then back into a shot of Bridgette sitting glumly on a stump at the campfire pit. She looked around, then lit up with joy. The camera panned over to a thoroughly roughed-up Geoff as he staggered into the clearing, and the surfer quickly ran past the other campers to hug him.

"I told ya I'd make it back in time," he said as she broke the hug and handed over his key and second hat.

"_Yarr_," Chris interrupted as a jaunty pirate tune played, the camera panning over to show him with a boot on the end of a row of chests. "It be time to claim your treasure! Those fortunate enough to bear a precious key," he said as the other campers were shown watching expectantly, "come forth with it!" He motioned to a group of twelve identical treasure chests arranged beneath the entrance post, six on each side.

/

The first key used was in the hands of Lightning, a mix of surprise and disappointment appearing on his face as he saw what he'd won. "Sha-_what_?! Is this the best you got?" he exclaimed, holding up the bag of chips and lone candy bar that had been hidden within. Chris nodded impishly.

/

Next was Shawn, still in his camouflage but looking considerably worse for wear. He fiddled with one of the locks, then grunted in annoyance. "Excuse me," he told the host, "but, uhh, my key doesn't seem to _work_!"

"Oh, _yeah_," Chris told him with a laugh. "I forgot to mention that some of the keys don't open up _any_ chests!"

"You mean I got mauled by a bear for _nothing_?!" the survivalist said, utterly livid.

"Pretty much," the host smiled. Shawn groaned, and smacked his head against the chest he'd failed to open.

/

Alejandro and B were shown retrieving their prizes from adjacent chests. The taller young man was perplexed to have received a toaster, while the silent one coolly held up a gift basket with a gold-bordered red card sticking out prominently.

"An invincibility pass, if I'm not mistaken?" Alejandro asked as B took a closer look at it. He nodded, showing off the marshmallow printed on the front of it. "Congratulations on being so lucky, then!" Alejandro added, turning around to hide his annoyance from the coat-wearer.

/

Bridgette opened her chest and happily withdrew a pair of two-Liter soda bottles, looking over to Scarlett, who stood with an accordion, and Jo, who'd won a lamp in the shape of a woman's leg.

Geoff was next, reaching into his chest and taking out a small slip of paper. "Wait, so I spent all day running for my life for a _gift card_?" he asked.

"For the Tuck Shoppe!" Chris added happily.

Geoff looked at the card for a moment, then pumped his fist. "_Nice_!"

"At least _you_ didn't get a stupid _rock_," Dakota whined, struggling to hold the large stone up so the camera could see it.

"Hey, I'll have you know that rock is the only one like it on the island!" Chris told her, adding "...that we know of!" a moment later.

/

The camera panned across the campers and their treasure, or lack thereof. From left to right stood Jo looking disgusted at her lamp, Scarlett with her accordion, B and his gift basket, a pouting and empty-handed Amy, a happily eating Lightning, a disappointed Shawn, Alejandro with his toaster, Bridgette and her soda, Geoff and his gift card, Dakota still struggling with the rock, Sammy as empty-handed as her sister, and DJ at the end with purple box with markings labeling it as an inkpen kit.

"I hope everyone got the treasure they were looking for," Chris told them in his normal voice, "and more! But now," the camera cut to his close-up, "it's time to do your duty and send one of you off the island, for good. So cast your votes," he pointed to them before getting into his pirate persona one last time, "and I'll see ye buccaneers back at the campfire after sundown! _Arr_, ha-_harrr_."

xxx

"I might not have won anything today," Sammy confessed, "but at least Amy's going to be eliminated again! I hope..."

xxx

"You're messed up, girl," DJ said in the second outhouse clip.

xxx

"You leave us no choice!" Bridgette's turn continued the chain.

xxx

B was fourth; he merely frowned and held up a piece of paper with 'Amy' written on it.

xxx

"Uggh, I can't believe my plan didn't work," Amy pouted. "I was _going_ to use it to convince everyone to vote off DJ, but I guess I just have to hope they did it anyway."

xxx

Scarlett sat down and sighed softly. "I don't consider Amy to be a threat to my winning this game," she explained to the camera, "but some concessions must be made to maintain my alliance with the former members of the Killer Bass."

xxx

"Amy is..._disposable_," Alejandro confessed. "I would prefer to get rid of Scarlett, but I know it would be a waste of a vote."

xxx

The Campfire Ceremony opened, cutting from the usual shot of the island to a shot of Chris from behind the campers. DJ and B were seated closest to the camera, with Shawn, Bridgette, and Scarlett sitting in the row in front of them.

"And now, the moment we've all been waiting for," Chris began, "the _moment_ of _truth_." He revealed the tray of treats from behind his back and smiled. "Marshmallow time! You know the routine," he said as the viewpoint shifted to the side of the campers, focusing on Scarlett, DJ, Bridgette, Shawn, and Jo. "Whoever doesn't get a marshmallow, it's _curtains_ for you!"

He pointed towards the campers, and one by one their nervous faces were shown. First DJ, then Geoff, then Bridgette, back to Chris narrowing his eyes, then Dakota, and back to a close-up of the marshmallows as the host's fingers reached for the first one. More campers were shown, from an anxious Sammy, to B in his invincibility-induced confidence, the glaring Amy, narrow-eyed Alejandro, and oblivious Lightning.

The focus shifted back to the smiling host as he called off names in quick succession, tossing the marshmallows across the fire as he did. "Scarlett, Geoff, Shawn, Alejandro, Dakota, Bridgette, Samey, Jo, Lightning, DJ, marshmallows for the lot of you!"

As the safe campers happily received their treats, the camera focused in on an increasingly shocked Amy. Jaw hanging open, she looked over to the host and his tray, only to see it gleaming and empty. "Looks like you're out," Chris told the older twin, "_again_."

"_No_...," she whispered, eyes wide and unfocused. "Not again...not to _Samey_..."

"Yes yes, shocking elimination, didn't see it coming, yadda yadda," Chris said, walking over to her. "Are you gonna walk down the Dock of Shame, or am I gonna have to get Chef down here?"

Amy ignored him, and leveled a glare of such ferocity at her sister it made the meek girl whimper and shrink away. "Don't think this is _over_, Samey," the mean girl hissed. "The next time I see you, you're _dead_!" She paused for a moment, then growled. "Actually, forget that, you're dead _now_!"

Amy lunged at her sister, but was quickly stopped – DJ was first, and was joined soon after by Geoff. The two boys held each of her arms, preventing her from taking another step towards Sammy as the younger twin was pulled away by Bridgette and Dakota.

"Lightning!" she hissed at her boyfriend. "Stop sitting there and _help me_!"

"Girl, _please_," he snorted, "you lost fair and square! Ain't _my_ fault your plan didn't work. And y'know what else? Lightning's startin' to think you ain't the winner you _said_ you were!"

A look of utter betrayal passed over Amy's face, soon replaced by angry resignation. Chef came into view and grabbed Amy by the arm as DJ and Geoff stepped aside, but the ex-contestant shrugged it off. "I can do it myself!" she yelled, finally breaking the glare at her sister and storming off to the docks.

The other teens watched her leave in a silence that was finally broken by Chris. "Charming," he said with a smile. "Well, that's it for tonight! I'll see you kids tomorrow."

/

The scene cut to the inside of the girls' cabin as the remaining five residents prepared for bed.

"So, like, was your sister always that _scary_?" Dakota asked, lying on her stomach with her sleeping mask on her forehead.

"Yeah," Bridgette added, "you're gonna be okay when you go back home, right?"

"Probably not," Sammy said as she looked from her bed to the one above it. A few brief flashbacks were shown of Amy delegating the lower bunk to Sammy when DJ accidentally broke it on the first day of the show, of Dawn later occupying the top, and of the elder twin threatening to kick the younger out of the bed to free up space for herself before an elimination removed the need. "But at least I know I'm safe while I'm _here_."

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

**Author's Note - Post Script**

And with that, the satellite orbiting around Sammy once again falls to the ground. Amy is...useful for stirring up drama in Sammy's life (and sub-plot), but she doesn't have much else to her character. I could technically develop her more, but since she's so abusive I'm really reluctant to do so. At least I gave her a boyfriend, I guess. For right now, though, I'm content with how I've written her. A villain, but too focused on her sister and lacking the situational competence to be very effective.

As for the challenge, I ended up deciding to keep the same clue-treasure pairs as in canon rather than randomize them a bit. I had at one point wanted to randomize the order the challenges themselves appeared, but once I actually started to write them I threw that idea out and stuck to the canon order, with a few changes to allow for the new challenge created due to the extra player, as well as how I decided the other campers would go about things. I also decided to include another treasure that wasn't in the canon episode, which was Dakota's rock. In canon, that clue was DJ's but he didn't end up with anything, meaning he either failed to get the key or that it was a dud like Owen's. Although it was probably meant to be the latter, I decided to assume it was the former for the sake of making things a bit more interesting.

B winning invincibility...for some reason, it just seemed like an odd thing to me. Maybe because I haven't read many stories where he makes it to the merge, and thus is able to win individual challenges? At any rate, I liked the idea of him getting one over on Chef and winning invincibility, even if it wasn't important to the plot.

Regarding Amy's scheme...well, I thought it would be funny, and also a nice parallel to what Heather did to Trent and Gwen but with a different ending. Dakota ended up in Leshawna's role, and Amy got what was coming to her. And now, the guys outnumber the girls...

Until next time!

- Fangren

* * *

**Appendix: TSI Eliminated Contestants**

Staci - (22nd Place)

Dakota - (RETURNED)

Ezekiel - (21st Place)

Sugar - (20th Place)

Lightning - (RETURNED)

Amy - (RETURNED)

Scott - (19th Place)

Beth - (18th Place)

Sierra - (17th Place)

Topher - (16th Place)

Sam - (15th Place)

Beardo - (14th Place)

Dawn - (13th Place)

Amy - (12th Place)


End file.
